Chapter 14 Colt
Colt
“Are you feeling better?” I asked, trying to ignore the way my dick went instantly hard at seeing her wearing my clothes.
Her belly was big enough that it poked out at the bottom between the waist of the sweats I gave her and the t-shirt she was wearing.
It was fucking adorable, and took everything in me to not go to her and press my hand against the exposed skin.
“A little. My back is still bothering me, but I did a lot more today than I normally would. And it’s late.”
I stood, pulling back the comforter on the side of the bed that had always been hers. “Come on. You need to get some sleep.”
Violet’s hand wrapped around my arm.
“I need to tell you something.” Her voice broke, fingers digging into my skin.
“Okay.” Fuck, she was scared. I helped her sit then took two steps back, crossing my arms and hoping like hell I could stay calm.
“It’s about the baby’s dad.” Her eyes dropped to the ground, and I felt the heat rising in my chest. Because I knew where this was going.
“You do think he’s the one stalking you, don’t you?”
She shook her head, still not looking me in the eyes. “It’s not him, Colt. He’s the most annoyingly protective person I’ve ever met.”
Fucking great. Now I’d be fucking pissed off about this incredibly protective baby daddy that in fact seems like the world’s biggest douche-canoe for the rest of the night, because how the fuck is he so amazing if he left Vi and the baby all on their own this close to her goddamn due date?
“So why isn’t he here? Why isn’t he protecting you and the baby?”
“He is,” she whispered.
I sank down on the mattress next to her hip.
She was fucking talking in riddles, but the way her eyes didn’t leave mine, the way it looked like she was willing me to understand what she wanted to tell me without saying the words, left me with a hope spreading through my chest like a wild fire.
Her hand reached over, grabbed mine, and put it back over her belly.
I froze. “Are you saying…Are you telling me…”
“That you’re the baby’s father? Surprise…” A fat tear rolled down her face. “You’re going to be a dad.”
I jumped back, tripping over my own feet as her words slammed into me. I’d heard them before. Each time her voice sounded more tired, more afraid of what was to come. But this time…this time, the words were tinged with hope. Hope that I’d be happy? Hope that I’d be there for her? For him? My son.
I fell to my knees and cupped her swollen belly.
“Say something. Please,” Violet begged.
“H-how?” I stuttered over the question.
But the truth smacked me right in the chest before I’d even gotten the question out.
Tears burned in my eyes as I tried to swallow past the emotion sitting painfully in my throat.
Deep in the divorce paperwork had been one single sheet of paper that I thought about every goddamn day for years.
Our last chance at becoming parents. One tiny embryo, not graded that well and not expected to lead to a pregnancy, that I signed over complete ownership of as a part of finalizing the end of our marriage.
It felt like the final nail in the coffin. But now, all I could think about was how fucking happy I was. It wasn’t the end. It was just the beginning.
Something in my chest cracked wide open. I pressed my hand against my heart, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked completely out of me. Beneath my other hand, my son rolled. His back pressed out hard against the pressure of my hand.
Fuck. I felt like my heart was going to give out. A pathetic groan left my body as I fell back on my ass.
“Colt?” Violet slid down, sitting on the floor with me. Her hand came up, pressing against mine. “Are you okay? You’ve gone really pale.”
“I…I…” I couldn’t get a clear thought out. “Jesus. I need to get my heart checked out.”
Vi squeezed my thigh. “Are you having chest pains? Should I call an ambulance? Or one of your brothers? Jessie?”
“No. Fuck.” I cleared my throat. “No, Vi. Just…Come here.”
I opened my arms, and she looked down at my chest for a moment before landing against me. My arms wrapped around her in an instant, just for a moment, before I remembered I desperately wanted to hold her belly, too.
“I’m going to be a dad.”
“Yeah…”
“We’re…the both of us…are having a baby.”
She nodded. “I mean, I am. You don’t have to be if you don’t want to. I made this decision on my own. It doesn’t have to change things for you. I know it probably does, but don’t feel bad if not.”
Her fingers brushed on my face, and it was only then that I realized I was crying again. Just like I had the day she came home.
She’s carrying my baby.
And she was worried. I could see it in her eyes, worried that I’d be upset. Worried that I’d turn her away.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking of using our last embryo?”
“We haven’t spoken in years, Colt. You signed over your rights to me.
And I just…I didn’t know if I’d even get pregnant.
And then there were all the worries about making it out of the first trimester.
Getting this far…It was easier to think I’d come back once the baby was here.
Once I knew I wouldn’t break your heart with another loss.
I didn’t ever imagine you seeing me pregnant. ”
“I would have been there.”
“I know. And it would have broken you all over again to have that hope taken away when it didn’t work.”
“But it did work. And you came back here. You came back to me.”
She nodded. “I thought about you every single day. Not just during this pregnancy, but every single day after I left. I know it wasn’t healthy.
I know it wasn’t right. I was the person who walked away, and I knew I had no right to ever just walk back in.
A part of me feels horribly guilty that I had to come here.
There just wasn’t time for me to settle down anywhere else. It had to be here.”
Our son decided to kick directly under my hand.
God, it was the easiest thing in the world to accept, and yet somehow, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
Vi hissed at the pressure as soon as the baby moved.
I could feel the rush of emotions pour over me in that second, and it was overwhelming.
Our baby was there. I tightened my hold on her.
He was strong.
He was healthy.
He was going to be born in just a few weeks.
I was going to hold my child in my arms.
I was holding my wife and my child in my arms right now.
The room spun as the air left my lungs. “I think I’m going to pass out.”
I’d missed so much of the pregnancy already. But Vi had done such an incredible job…I waited to feel the anger at being kept in the dark for so long, but there wasn’t any to be found. Instead, the brightest, hottest pressure seared through my chest as I lowered my face to her belly.
“Hey, buddy. It’s okay. I’m here now. Don’t be mean to your mama. She’s working hard to make sure you get here safe and sound.”
Violet shook her head. “Colt, I…I’m so sorry. I should have told you the first day I was here.”
The tears splashed over her lashes, and her beautiful lips trembled.
“When, Vi? I ran the fuck away as soon as I saw you.”
“But I could have—”
“Why did you leave?” I asked instead.
“What?”
“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you choose to stay? To fight for us? We were so much more than just our potential as parents. You were my best friend. The love of my life. Every dream I ever had come true. That’s the only question I have. Why, Vi?”
She looked at me, not blinking. “Why are you asking me this now?”
“Because I was too much of a coward to ask you when you handed me the papers. I was so fucking furious at you for wanting to leave. But I knew you were slipping away from me for months by then, and I let it happen. Every negative test. Every time we lost…” The words stuck in my throat.
“Every time we lost a baby. I’m going to tell you this right now, and I’m dead serious.
This baby is a beautiful blessing, but this baby isn’t the reason I want things to work out between us.
You are enough for me. You’ve always been enough for me. ”
“You were always enough for me, too. I was just so lost in the grief. How could I do that to you, Colt? Tie you to someone who couldn’t give you what you’d wanted your whole life.
You deserved to be a dad, you talked about it all the time.
I can remember you holding Jessie as a baby, telling me how excited you were to have kids one day.
I wanted to give you that chance. I wanted you to find someone who could make that dream come true for you.
Without the struggle. Without the loss.” She sniffed, her hand coming up to bat away the tears streaking down her cheeks.
“And I wanted to fall apart without worrying about upsetting you. Without you having to feel like you had to help me pick up the pieces. I needed time to know who I was now that I knew my body had betrayed us. You have every right to be mad at me. To never forgive me.”
“I’m not mad at you.” The way the words snapped out of my mouth probably made it seem like I was lying.
But the truth should have been so clear to her.
“I’m fucking thrilled. I was so happy for you, seeing you pregnant after everything we went through, that I went to my truck and cried on the drive back over here.
I would have loved him no matter what, Vi. Just like I’ll always love you.”
“Colt.”
“This changes everything, darlin’. Don’t sit there for a single second and think it doesn’t.
” I ran my hand over her belly, smiling at how perfectly round it was.
“There isn’t time to dance around it. I’ve prayed for this moment since the day you told me you needed to leave.
That you would come back to me. There isn’t time to be shy about what I want. So let me be clear. I want you.”
“And the baby?” she asked.
I simply nodded. “Our son.”
Violet was a whirlwind meant only for my heart, sweeping back into my life with an intensity that would blow everything else away.
She brought the cold hard truth that I’d been afraid to admit out loud all this time…
I would always be desperately in love with her.
No amount of time, no amount of heartbreak or ache, would change that.
We were being given a second chance, and there was no way I’d ever let her walk away again.
I lifted her shirt, dying to press my lips against the safe home my son was currently curled up in. But as soon as my eyes landed on a line of bruises, all in various stages of healing, I froze.
“What the fuck are these? Someone hurt you!”
“No,” Violet laughed through her tears. Her hand dusted along the purple and green splotches. “I have to give myself an injection every day, it’s a blood thinner. I’m at a higher risk of developing blood clots, so my OB prescribed it for the duration of the pregnancy.”
“Christ. When do you do them? I didn’t pack any medicine in your bag. What do we need to do?”
“I normally do the injection in the morning. We’ll have time to go back to the cabin and get them before I have to do it tomorrow. Or, later today, now…wouldn’t it be?” She yawned. I needed to get her to bed. It had been the most insane few hours.
“Right. Okay. Bed for you and the baby. I’ll make sure your medicine is here in the morning, and I’ll help you with the injection when it’s time.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Stop right there. It’s the least I can do. I know you’ve been doing it all on your own…fuck, I was furious when I thought there was another man walking through this with you, but I want to kick my own ass for not being there now.”
Violet placed her hand on my chest. “How could you have been?”
“Tell my fucking heart that, darlin’.”
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Okay. You can help with that in the morning.”
“Good. Let’s get you into bed.”
Violet nodded, taking my outstretched hand as I helped her up off the floor.
“I think we need to go slow,” she whispered as I pulled back the comforter for her to slide under.
“I think tonight was a lot. And nothing good can come from making a decision one way or the other about things when there are a lot of emotions involved. We should…we should work towards being good parents. That’s what is most important. ”
“Okay.” I bent over, pressing a kiss to her hairline.
“Colt.”
“I hear what you are saying, and although I think it’s utter and complete bullshit, I know you are tired and need sleep.
So, I won’t remind you that while we work on being great parents together for our son, you and me?
We’ve got a lot of great things we are going to be working on together for us. Got it?”
She smiled, her eyes closing as she let her head fall against the pillow.
“Got it.”
I walked back to the side of the bed closest to the door, and slid under the blankets. Her body was stiff as I curled around her back, my hand sliding over her belly.
“I think that might be a dangerous thing to do,” she whispered, wiggling until I realized she was waiting for me to slip my other arm under her head. As soon as I did, she sighed.
“I’m just holding onto my baby, Vi. Making sure you’re both safe. Go to sleep.”
Her body relaxed into mine, and after a few minutes, her breathing evened out. I was finally holding my whole world in my arms again. Except now, there were two of them to protect. Two of them to keep safe.
My wife was back, and I was going to be a dad.