Chapter 31
Violet
“It’s going to be great.” Colt lifted my fingers to his lips and kissed my hand as we drove across the ranch to his parents’ house.
God, my stomach was in knots. I blew out my breath, hoping the slow release of pressure in my lungs would somehow relieve the pressure behind my heart.
Since he was attacked, I couldn’t stop these sticky, all-consuming thoughts about how I was responsible for what happened. And that made me want to run.
My free hand drifted to my belly. Our son was quiet this morning, probably saving his energy for all the kicks his aunts and granny would request. I had been so stubborn about not celebrating him because there was still a small voice in the back of my mind telling me we weren’t going to cross the finish line.
That we weren’t going to get the happy ending we’d prayed all these years for.
“Hey.” Colt let go of my hand, moving his to my bump. “Is he giving you trouble this morning?”
“No,” I laughed. “He’s actually been pretty quiet. Why?”
His brows pulled together. “You look upset.”
“Not upset. Just…”
“Thinking about too many things?”
“Yeah. My brain is not a quiet place these days.”
He nodded, parking the truck next to his brother’s.
“Lach’s not here.”
I’d noticed while all the other Ford brothers, including Colt, had black trucks, Lachlan had a white one sitting in his driveway when I went to visit.
“I didn’t figure he would be,” Colt said, worry thick in his words.
“But you hoped.” It wasn’t a question. I knew Colt was concerned about his brother. I knew everyone was.
“Yep.”
“Alright, Deputy. Don’t use up your daily allotment of words all in one go here.”
He clicked his seat belt receiver, and then reached over to do the same for mine.
“Come on, Vi. There’s no room for worry right now. Today is about celebrating you and the baby.”
“And you,” I added. His eyes went wide. “You’re the reason he and I have a family. You’re the reason this place, this life, this love that we share, has always felt like home. I love you. We love you.”
Colt turned and slipped out of the truck. The soft clatter of the door shutting had my heart tumbling. He’d been so clear about wanting the baby and me, but was I expecting too much to have him say those words back to me?
My door opened, and Colt’s strong and steady hands were there, all but lifting me out of the seat before closing the door. He pressed into me, sliding us to the passenger door. The fire in his eyes, the way his leg pressed between mine, had my breath rushing in and out of my lungs.
“I thought you were mad at me,” I whispered as his lips slid against my neck, sucking first before letting his teeth rake over my flushed skin.
“No, baby. I just couldn’t say it back without kissing you. Without my arms wrapped around you. Not without our baby between us. I love you so fucking much, Violet Ford. You’ve always been mine. You’ll always be mine.”
His breath was hot on my ear, and yet, the rest of my body shivered as my skin pebbled under his touch.
“Say it again,” he growled. “I want to hear you say it as I taste you.”
“I love you.”
His lips crashed against mine. It was more than a kiss to close the decade we’d been apart from each other.
It was all the love that spanned from the first part of our lives, over the void, into now.
It was the forgiveness we held in our hearts for each other.
The love that waited quietly in those darkest, loneliest moments.
The tears that fell to the Earth when it felt like everything had shattered, helping to grow stronger roots in our foundation.
“I love you,” Colt whispered as he pulled away, not trying to hide the way his eyes shimmered full of tears. He stepped back, his hands bracketing my belly before he gave our son a kiss. “I love you both so much.”
My fingers ran through his hair as he came back and kissed me again. I giggled, the realization that this was happening where his family could see making my body flush red hot with embarrassment.
“Alright, lovebirds,” Beau called from the porch. I jumped, hiding my face in Colt’s shoulder. “As much as the girls are swooning in here at your little display, it’s time to get the show on the road.”
Colt flipped his brother off, Beau laughing loudly as he walked back inside.
“I’m never going to hear the end of that.” He smiled, slipping his hand behind my back and helping me get my footing as we walked away from the truck.
“I think it was worth it.”
He stopped, his eyes dropping to my lips and then back up to my eyes. “One thousand percent. Top five memory for us, Vi. Top five.”
I laughed. “What other memories are in there for you?”
“Number five? Definitely the first time we went skinny dipping together at the springs.”
“That was a fun night. I remember thinking you had a really cute butt.”
“Hey,” he grumbled. “I told you not to look.”
“Sometimes a girl just can’t help herself. Number four?” I egged him on as we climbed the stairs.
“Our wedding day.”
I nodded. “Number three?”
Colt sighed, running his hand along the back of his neck before shrugging his shoulders.
“The rest are all tied. Because I can’t possibly rank the first time I saw you back and realized you were pregnant against the moment you told me I was going to be a dad.
And you can absolutely forget about asking me to rank those two against the moment the love of my life, when the woman I’ve been obsessed with for almost thirty years, uttered the words in my truck on the way to our baby shower that I prayed to hear again every damn day while watching the sun rise alone in the house we turned into a home together. ”
“Oh.” My chin quivered, and I bit down on the inside of my lip to help push down my emotions.
“Say it one more time before we go inside? Give me something to brag to my boneheaded brothers about while I’m stuck showing them how a real man uses a grill.”
“I love you, Colton Daniel Ford. I’ve always loved you. And for as long as I live, for every minute there is air in my lungs, there will be love that is only meant for you in my heart.”
“I absolutely cannot wait to have you over for book club!” Lily, Jessie’s friend who was married to one of the guys who ran Montgomery Defense, smiled as she held out a pretty blue drink in a glass to me.
My baby shower was in full swing, and although it was small, with Jessie, Dolly, Birdie, Mae, Lily, and their other friend, Sloane, in attendance, it made me feel so cherished and special.
Especially for these other women to attend just because they loved Jessie and she loved me.
“We’re a small group, but it’s lots of fun! Jessie and our other friend Lacy usually lead up the shenanigans, but Lacy and her husband Nash are up in Montana for the next two months,” Mae shared.
Lily smiled as she sat next to me. “Lacy wanted to be here, and she made me promise to bring along her gift for you and the baby, which of course, I did.”
“That’s so sweet of her. But you didn’t have to bring anything along. I’m just grateful for the friendship. Book club does sound like a blast.” I sighed.
“I feel like I need to warn you that book club usually has absolutely nothing to do with books, but we’re all so excited to change that up and read yours!” Mae laughed.
“What are you all talking about at book club if you’re not discussing books?” I asked.
“Sexy times and cock—” Mae started to say before Sloane placed her hand playfully over Mae’s mouth.
“Dolly is right over there,” she hissed.
“Oh, honey. Don’t think I haven’t heard everything there is to know about a man, or what you can do with him. Hell, you want to see Danny turn redder than a beet? Ask him what we were doing when he had his heart attack.”
“Ma!” Jessie groaned.
“What? There’s a reason why I ended up with five kids. I’m not just good at baking pies.”
“Speaking of kids.” Birdie cleared her throat, her long, blonde hair not hiding one bit of the blush that highlighted her full cheeks. “Are you feeling ready for the baby to come?”
I nodded. “Yes. So ready. And also, no. Not ready at all.”
“Well, don’t worry. Newborns don’t require a lot of things. So if you’ve got a car seat, a bassinet, and some pajamas, you’ll be okay.”
“His room is already done,” I admitted.
“Colt hasn’t said anything about that.” Dolly looked surprised. “I asked him the other day, and he just said the baby would be sleeping in your room with you.”
“Oh, he will be. But Colt put the nursery together…years ago. He told me it was just a storage room now when I first moved back in with him, but we went in there together and he showed me. It's all done, and it's perfect.”
“I had no idea,” Dolly whispered.
“Are you okay with that? It wasn’t too painful, was it?” Jessie asked.
“No. It was exactly what I needed to breathe a little, I think.” I turned towards Sloane and Lily.
“I lost several pregnancies before our divorce. The last one was…It’s the reason I had to leave.
I just hated seeing the pain I was causing Colt.
He was meant to be a dad. And I couldn’t be the thing that stood in the way of that. ”
“I get that.” Mae gave me a sad smile, Lily reaching over to grab her hand.
“Nothing bad is going to happen this time,” Lily whispered.
Mae’s words finally registered. “You’re expecting, too?” I asked.
Mae smiled with the rest of the women in the room as her hand went to her belly. “I am. We’re trying not to let anxiety get the best of us after our miscarriage. It’s such a common experience, and yet, it feels like the most isolating thing I’ve ever been through.”
“If you ever need someone to vent to who gets it, I’m here,” I offered.
“I appreciate that so much.” Mae blew out her breath. “Gosh, should we get presents underway? I didn’t mean to steal thunder and make that about me!”
“You didn’t at all,” I tried to assure her. “I’m grateful you shared that with me.”
“Well, if we’re doing presents, I would love to go first.” Dolly stood up, grabbing a white bag with blue and pink bows on it.
“I have such big dreams of spoiling this little one absolutely rotten, honey. I hope you know that. But this is something special for today. Just for you. I’ve been working on it nonstop since you showed up for family dinner and finished it up last night, thank the Lord.
” Dolly stood and brought her gift over to me.
“I already love it so much, Ma. Thank you. For still loving me. For welcoming me back.”
“Violet, you never left our hearts. Not for one minute.”
I smiled. Reaching into the bag in front of me, I felt the soft fabric as I pulled out the most magnificent cream colored quilt. I held it up, the fabric falling to the floor as my breath caught in my lungs. Around the border were horses with patches of violets at their feet.
“Colts and violets. I know it’s silly, but I just have always had a vision for it since the two of you were engaged.
That one day, you’d lay your baby on this blanket behind your house, and they’d get some sunshine while you and Colt laughed about how cute they were.
” Her voice caught and tears welled in my eyes. It was so thoughtful. Beyond beautiful.
“I can’t believe how stunning this is. Thank you.”
She nodded. “I embroidered all of our names into the blanket. If you look in the center, it’s subtle, but they’re there. Your mom and dad’s names, too. When the baby’s born, I’ll just steal it back for a day and add their name.”
I hugged the blanket to my chest.
“I can’t even come up with the words to say how much this means to me.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Dolly’s eyes shimmered, and I waved her over to give me a hug. In a strange way, it didn’t just feel like Dolly was hugging me, but my own mother, too. We were connected through something sacred. Precious. Motherhood.
My new friends were so generous. Lily and her husband Gunner had gifted the most beautiful baby carrier.
She swore it saved her back as her daughter grew.
And Birdie had put together an entire postpartum basket for me, full of lotions and oils that smelled amazing, some teas that were good for milk supply, and even the coziest pair of slippers.
Jessie’s gift had made me cry. She’d taken everyone’s pictures from the family and put them in a book, with their titles underneath, so we could show the baby who their family was.
Colt’s picture was his official department head shot which made me laugh, and mine was from the family dinner we’d all had a few days ago.
My body was half hidden by the table, but there was a hand on my belly.
And although you couldn’t tell who the hand belonged to, I knew it was Colt.
It had all made me smile at first, but then I realized at the very end, after Dolly and Daniel, she included photos of my mom and dad from my wedding day.
That hit hard. I really did wish my dad would move back to Silver Springs. To be closer to us. To be here for his grandchild.
“Oh look, there’s one more present left!” Mae giggled as she handed me the last bag.
“Thank you all again. This has been so wonderful. I just…I’m so thankful for family, old friends, and new ones, too.”
I felt the hard edges of something as I reached into the bag. Maybe a picture frame? As soon as I pulled it out, I realized I was right. But as soon as I caught a glimpse of the edge, my mind clouded with confusion.
I had this same frame in my apartment, holding the only picture I kept out on my nightstand—from our wedding day.
Maybe I’d mentioned that to one of his brothers? Would they go out of their way to get something like that for me?
My heart sank, the sudden wave of nausea at what I was holding in my hand slamming into me so hard I almost fell out of my chair.
“Violet?” Mae’s voice drifted from over my shoulder. “Oh my God.”
I looked at the women surrounding me. “I don’t understand.” I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes.
“Let me see what that is.” Dolly held out her hand.
“No,” I nearly shouted at her. I held the frame close to my chest, tears now spilling down my face. I’d brought something so evil here. Something that clearly wanted to take Colt away from me again.
Mae spoke calmly while I was still trying to wrap my brain around what I was seeing. “Jessie, go get Colt. He’ll want to see this.”