Chapter 19
Zafir held his arms stiffly at his sides as we walked back to his suite of rooms. The grounds were empty and Julian had long since disappeared.
“Why did you pull me away?” I huffed.
“It’s late,” Zafir said grouchily.
“If this plan is going to work and you want me to charm Julian, I have to spend more time with him. I barely had two hours. No one can fall in love in two hours, not unless they are drugged up on love potion or something.”
Zafir mumbled something under his breath that I couldn’t decipher. The chain clinked and rattled as it dragged on the ground behind us. At least whatever magic Zafir had used made it so that the chain didn’t feel heavy.
“You’re even quieter than normal,” I told him. “Are you not a night person?”
“No,” he answered curtly. “I always go to bed early.”
Clearly. Insects chirped their creaking melodies to the night air and the moon hovered overhead, so large it seemed to fill the entire sky.
“Do you really think Julian’s handsome?” he asked suddenly. His hands flexed open and closed.
“Not really,” I answered. “Handsome enough, I suppose. But of course I needed to tell him that to help win him over. I’m sure he was doing the same thing to me. That’s all courtship is: deluding the other with enough lies to convince them that their attraction is love.”
“Do you not believe in love?”
“My ex-husband tried to kill me and I’m currently trying to seduce a man who seems to treat women like trophies to be collected. You figure out if I believe in love or not.”
Zafir’s hand gave an odd twitch but he continued to march toward his rooms like some stiff-backed soldier. We had nearly reached his study.
“Do you?” I asked him abruptly.
“Do I what?”
“Do you believe in love?”
He paused before turning the key to enter his study, considering the question.
“I don’t have time for such trivialities.
” He unlocked the door and held it open for me.
“It’s a theory with promising potential, but based on my previous observations, it causes too much trouble and heartache for such fleeting benefits. ”
“Be still, my throbbing heart,” I teased. “What other rich poetry do you have hidden up your sleeves?”
“Yet another example of why romance is a waste of time,” Zafir grumbled. “Women are never serious enough.”
“And you think being serious is key to being in love? You hopeless romantic. I’m surprised there aren’t women throwing themselves at your feet day and night.”
He wrung out a cloth in the wash basin and threw it at me. “You need to take that makeup off to sleep. I don’t need it smeared all over my pillow. It’s the only spare one I have.”
I wiped the makeup off then stared wistfully in the mirror. It might be shallow and superficial, but I liked how I looked with it on. When Zafir did my makeup, I looked put together and like everything people assumed a beautiful woman should be.
“What about your parents?” Zafir asked. “Did they love each other?”
My reflection stared back at me. “I don’t remember. They died when I was young.”
“Who raised you?”
I tore my gaze away from the mirror and threw the cloth back at him. “Hunger and fear.” I’d meant the words to shock him, but my voice faltered.
Compassion softened Zafir’s facial expression.
“I don’t want your pity,” I snapped.
“I would pity any child who grew up in such a manner.”
“It wasn’t all bad,” I said with a shrug. “There was a worship center close to where I slept, and the minister there, Eldridge, gave soup to me and my sister every day. I always said that one day, I would go back and repay him for their kindness. Rahil said he would.”
Zafir pulled off his shirt and sat on his bed. “Did he actually do it?”
I sank onto the cot. “He claimed he did, but I have no idea if he told the truth or not. So much of what he said was lies.”
Zafir punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and put his head down, still facing me. There was a strange way to how he looked at me, and I couldn’t decide what emotion it was playing across his face.
“Did you ever love him?” he asked. “Before he made the attempt on your life?”
“No. I told you, I don’t believe in love. Besides, it would take a lot more than money to win me over.”
He nodded slowly. “What would it take?”
I gave a quiet laugh. “I’ve never really thought about it. So far, I’m rather disenchanted with the notion of love, based on my previous experience. What about you?”
“I haven’t thought about it either. My work keeps me busy enough; I don’t have time to waste on anyone else.”
“You could get a pet. A snake would suit you.”
He let out a soft snort. “I have you for venomous companionship. That’s already more than I can handle. Now go to sleep.”
I smothered a smile and turned over so Zafir couldn’t see and once again, I turned the mirror over three times in my hand, hoping it would show me Nadia’s face.
This time, it glowed warm and turned foggy, and for a moment I thought I saw Nadia’s profile, but I couldn’t hear her voice and after a few minutes, the mirror went blank again.
It had worked the first few minutes I was in Pyren.
Had the crack ruined it forever? I stroked the damaged mirror, angling it so Zafir wouldn’t be able to see it.
What had become of my sister?