Chapter 8 #2
Perks of living in an apartment right there. “Gotcha. So you practice at your parents’ house?”
“Nah, they got rid of theirs years ago.”
“Huh.”
Reid stopped “playing” and tilted his head back to look at me. “What?”
“Well, where do you play?”
“I… I don’t know. I guess I haven’t.”
Since the accident or even before, I didn’t know, but what kind of shit was this?
He’d stopped following his dream for a stable life and now he didn’t even have an instrument to play in his downtime?
It seemed strange that he wouldn’t have access to what was obviously his passion, unless he stole a few moments at the school.
“I bet you could always go to that music store on Broad. The woman there seemed so excited to have you there, she’d probably pay you to play.”
“Hey,” he said, sitting up. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“You should do it.”
“I guess that means I’ll have to suck it up and ask for her name, though.”
“I’m telling you, use the brain injury excuse. You’ve got the perfect get-out-of-jail-free card right there.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He sank back down as I traced the swirling pattern of the chair arm. “Would you come see me if I played?”
“If you paid me.”
He shot back up. “Seriously?”
“No,” I said, laughing at his shocked expression.
“Oh. Good.” He moved onto his stomach, stretching out on the couch like a cat, and rested his chin on his arms. “I’d like it if you came.”
I’d like it if you came, too—not that we’re thinking about anything even remotely the same. “What would you play?”
“Hmm. Maybe Air on the G String by Bach…something from Chopin’s nocturnes, maybe nine. Then I’d throw in a little Beethoven, maybe Moonlight Sonata, so you wouldn’t get bored.”
I let out an inelegant snort. “I’d never get bored.”
“You might.”
“I wouldn’t. Trust me.”
Reid’s brow furrowed. “I do trust you. Which should be weird, right? But it’s like…I’m safe with you.”
There was no way he couldn’t hear the rapid staccato my heart made then, and I could only try to calm that shit down by taking in a breath before saying, “You are.”
“I believe you.”
A long moment passed where he just looked up at me, those big brown eyes open and searching mine, like he was trying to come up with an answer to a question only he could hear.
“I don’t know why I’m saying these things,” he whispered, finally breaking the silence. “They’re supposed to stay in my head.” He reiterated his statement by tapping on his temple and letting out a self-deprecating chuckle.
Christ, he was too fucking cute for his own good.
“S’okay. I like hearing your thoughts.”
“Yeah? Well… Tell me something.”
“Okay.”
He toyed with his bottom lip between his teeth again, as if gearing up to ask a loaded question and he wasn’t sure what my response would be. “Do you ever get lonely? In that big house of yours, all by yourself?”
“Big house?” I laughed. “Hardly.”
“You’re deflecting the question.”
“Such a serious question. You feeling the Crown?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You still haven’t answered.”
“Do I get lonely?” Pushing off the floor with my feet, I rocked the chair back and forth as I thought over his query.
Did I get lonely? Usually I was too busy to think about it, and I had great friendships at work and outside it.
But did I get lonely? Sure, I did, especially when Reid walked out my door. “I guess I do.”
“When?”
“At night, mostly. Sometimes I can’t sleep, and…” I sighed before admitting, “It’d be nice to have someone…” It’d be nice to have you there.
Reid laid his cheek on his arms. “I can’t sleep either. I wake up from nightmares. Ones I remember and others I don’t.”
It was an honest confession, and one that hit me hard.
He always seemed so calm with what had happened to him, that it was hard to reconcile the easygoing man with the one who’d gone through such a terrible ordeal.
But of course he was terrified, even if his fears only manifested in his dreams. Reid had never showed himself fully to me that way, but then again, why would he lay all his worries and sadness at the feet of someone he was getting to know?
I was the person helping him to, for lack of a better word, forget.
“Can I call you?” he said. “If we’re both awake in the middle of the night? Maybe we can help each other sleep.”
There was such a sweet innocence in his words that I wanted to lean over, capture his face between my hands, and meld our lips together until the outside world disappeared. With him, maybe I wouldn’t be so restless, and maybe with me, he wouldn’t be so frightened.
“Anytime,” I said. “You can call me, day or night, anytime.”
He smiled at me then, seemingly satisfied with that answer. But then his forehead wrinkled, and he said, “It’s a shame, you know.”
“What is?”
“I know you said you’re busy and don’t have time for a relationship, but…you’re this really great guy, and it seems like a shame that you don’t have anyone to share yourself with.”
My heart constricted, and I had to look down at my lap so he didn’t see the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.
But my shuddering breath must’ve given me away, because he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. But I just think…you deserve to be happy. And I get the feeling maybe you’re not?”
God, where was that coming from? Could he see right through me?
“Thank you for saying…all of that. But I’m okay.” I just didn’t realize how empty my life was until you filled it.
“You can always call me,” he said, just as he let out a big yawn.
His eyes began to shutter, but I knew I needed to get him home before he was too far gone to wake up.
I let him rest a bit while I poured the liquor back into the bottle of Crown, stowed it away, and then rinsed out the glasses.
He wasn’t easy to rouse, and once he was up, he was content to walk down the stairs half-asleep, and I had to keep a hold on him so he didn’t fall over.
Apparently, once Reid was out, he was out.
I unlocked my car and helped him inside, and when I got behind the wheel, I heard him say my name softly.
“Thank you for today.” Reid’s words slurred a little, betraying his exhaustion as he closed his eyes again and rested his head against the doorjamb.
I’d kept him out too late, but it was never easy to leave him, and I felt the growing urge to soak in as much time as I could while I could.
Who knew how long I had him for, when he’d decide to move on?
Reaching across Reid’s chest, I pulled the seatbelt down and buckled him in.
With the moonlight streaming across his face, he looked peaceful, and I let myself watch him as his breathing slowed to a steady in-and-out.
With him tucked into my passenger seat, I could almost pretend for a moment that he was mine.
That we’d been out on the town and were headed home, together.
The thought didn’t seem so far out of reach while he was still within touching distance.
My fingertips ached to reach out, and though I didn’t want to wake him, I found myself unable to stop from leaning over and running the back of my hand lightly down the length of his jaw.
The stubble there felt surprisingly soft, and only when I moved my hand the opposite way did it prickle at all.
When Reid didn’t so much as stir, I repeated the move again, pressing my luck.
He was beautiful. So, so beautiful. And now I knew it wasn’t just the way he looked or the persona he’d put on every day; he was beautiful.
The words were on the tip of my tongue when Reid arched, and before I could pull away, he leaned into my hand so that I was cupping his cheek.
I held my breath, waiting for his eyes to open, for him to catch me touching him when I shouldn’t be.
But he didn’t wake, falling right back into his deep slumber.
I gave him one last look, memorized the way he looked with his perfect face cradled in my hand, and then pulled my arm back slowly.
When he stayed asleep where he was, I let out an exhale and sat back in my seat.
That had been too close. But the quick jolt to my system had given me an idea, and it was with that thought that I drove sleeping Prince Charming home.