Bluebird

Chapter 10

ten

“CARE TO TELL me why you look like someone pissed in your coffee, or do I have to try to guess?” Mike said a couple days later as we strolled through a department store at the town mall while in between calls.

He’d wanted to pick up a few things for his wife’s birthday, and it was either go with him or sulk in the rig like I had the past forty-eight hours.

“I’m not in a mood.” Yeah, even to my ears I sounded like a sullen teenager who’d lost his iPad privileges. Pathetic.

“No? You about scared the pants off the interns this morning, for one.”

“Good. They almost hosed me down while they were supposed to be cleaning Big Bertha.”

“Oh. Well, for two, I just shoveled down an apple fritter and you didn’t even try to swipe it outta my hand.”

“You did?”

“No, but it proves you’re not paying attention for shit.”

I sighed. “Did you already get what you needed?”

“See, if you’d been paying attention, you’d know I haven’t bought the first damn thing. You’re no help.”

“You don’t need help. Just get her something nice.”

“Nice?” Mike scoffed. “A new microwave is nice. Getting her oil changed and her car tuned up is nice. None of those things will get me laid.”

“You’re married; you don’t need to buy things to get laid.”

“Spoken like someone who’s never been married.” When I didn’t crack so much as a smile, Mike gave me a hard nudge. “What’s with you? You finally make a move on Bluebird and he turn you down?”

“Not quite.” I tossed my empty coffee cup into a nearby recycling bin. “He kissed me.”

Mike’s jaw dropped, and a whole lotta nothin’ came out.

“Yeah. That was my reaction too.”

“Holy shit, Ollie. We should be poppin’ some champagne or getting chocolate wasted.

” Mike began to break it down, throwing off some shoulder rolls while he snapped along to whatever beat was in that thick head of his.

“Come on, don’t make me celebrate by myself.

” When I didn’t join in, he stopped dancing and rolled his eyes. “Dude, what’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem? That should be obvious.”

“Uh…” He waved his hand for me to elaborate.

“He’s not gay. He’s confused. And he shouldn’t be kissing me.”

Mike stood there blinking at me. “You’re joking. Tell me you’re about to psych me out and that you didn’t push him away or something stupid.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” I said, walking off.

“Oh my God. Oh my Goood.” Mike groaned. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need you to come back here and repeat all that in my good ear. ’Cause I thought I heard you say the guy you’ve been crushing on forever kissed you and you pushed him away, but that can’t be right, because you’re not a dumbass.”

“I did say that.”

“I changed my mind, then. You are a dumbass.”

“Mike, gimme a break here—”

“Give you a break? What the fuck, man? What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know.” Too restless to stand there arguing, I began to pace. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“The fuck he doesn’t.”

“Reid’s still trying to figure out who he is, and all I’m doing is making things more confusing for him.”

“Oh, right. You want him. He wants you. It can never happen.” Mike slapped his forehead. “Wait, no, that’s not how it goes.”

“You’re supposed to be seeing my side.”

“The ‘I’m a fucking moron’ side?”

“The ‘I’m somehow taking advantage of him’ side.”

“Please remind me how it’s taking advantage when he’s the one who kissed you.”

“Have you forgotten he suffered a major brain trauma?”

“Uh, no. I was there.”

“Then you’d know how something like that can change a person.”

“And what if this is who he is now?” When my mouth opened and shut without a comeback, Mike nodded. “Yeah. What then?”

I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of being even a little bit right, so I ignored him and kept right on walking.

“You know what I think your problem is?” he said.

“No, but I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me.”

“Damn right I am. You’re scared.” His brows lifted. “Yeah, you heard me. You’re scared that any day now he’s gonna wake up—I mean that figuratively—and remember he’s supposed to be wrist-deep in pussy.”

“Mike…Jesus.”

“Maybe that’s crass, but I’m just sayin’ what you won’t. You know I’m right.”

“Can you please fuck off?” Leave me to my self-destruction in peace.

“I’m on a roll now, so no, and I’ll tell you why.

” The humor faded from his eyes as he grabbed my shoulders to make me face him.

“You, my friend, are too hard on yourself.” I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away, but his grip was strong.

“No, no, listen. It’s true. You seem to think everyone in the world deserves happiness except you.

But I know how you feel about this guy. I’ve seen what you’ve been doin’ for him.

There ain’t an ounce of bad intention there.

Probably nothin’ he wouldn’t do for you, either. ”

I closed my eyes. God, I hated when he was right. I hated that I was so cautious about everything with Reid that I was unintentionally mucking it all up.

“Stop fightin’ it, my man,” Mike said, his tone gentler than I’d ever heard. “You care about the guy. Fucking go for it. I don’t want to have to tell you twice.”

When I nodded, a smile slowly spread across his face. “Yeah? We good?” he said.

“We’re good.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” He clapped me on the shoulder, and as we headed off again, we passed a section full of women’s lingerie, and Mike stopped abruptly and let out a low whistle. “Hel-lo, now we’re talkin’.”

And just like that, the time for serious talk was over.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Now that I’ve solved your problems for you—you’re welcome—I need to shop for my wife.” He flipped through the rack, and after grabbing a couple of barely-there lace sets, he held them up for me. “What do you think? Would Deb like the white or the pink?”

“That’s not what she wants.”

“How do you know? She might.” He looked down at them again. “She likes pink.”

“That’s a gift for you, not her,” I said, snatching the hangers out of his hands and putting them back on the rack. “Get her a day at the spa. She’ll thank you for that.”

Mike pursed his lips but then nodded. “Yeah, fine. These wouldn’t last long anyway.” Then he let out a growl to insinuate he’d be ripping them to shreds.

“I’m not trying to hear this,” I said, walking off toward the exit, as he followed on my heels. At least he’d let our previous conversation drop, and for that, I was grateful.

“Hey, you don’t think those massage places give happy endings to females too, do you?”

I screeched to a stop. “Where’ve you been going that you get a damn happy ending?”

“What? I’m not saying me, I’m saying in general.” Then he gave me a nudge. “Why, you know of one?”

“Jesus,” I muttered. “No.”

“Hah, I was joking. I’d never do that.”

“Sure, you wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t. But seriously, I’m not gonna get my wife some happy-ending shit either, so you better give me a heads-up if they’re sketch like that.”

“Way to stereotype.”

“It’s not stereotyping; it’s a legitimate question.”

“Well, sorry to break it to you, but wouldn’t know of any place like that.”

“Oh, right. You prefer your happy endings to stay in your head, and I don’t mean the one below your belt.”

“Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, I’m being serious here.”

“I’ll be in the truck.”

“Aw, come on, I was just givin’ you shit.” As I pushed open the exit door, I heard him laugh and call out, “Ollie! Yo, Ollie, come back. I swear I won’t tell anyone about the rash.”

SURPRISINGLY, I LET Mike go home in one piece. After stopping by one of the day spas downtown for Deb’s gift card—and the assurance that they were professional and didn’t employ any attractive men to piss Mike off—it’d been time to call it a day and head home for a long, hot shower.

But I was still restless, my mind warring against itself. Talking with Mike earlier had only shown me how stupid I was being. ’Cause when it came down to it, what was I really worried about? That Reid wasn’t in a position to think clearly for himself?

Or was it that I was too fucking scared he’d end up hurting me?

Ding, ding, ding. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

That was what it all boiled down to, wasn’t it? I was scared shitless. And that fear had me pushing away the one thing I really wanted.

Reid.

Christ, I was some kinda dumb.

After shutting off the water, I grabbed a towel and wondered what to do about it. Did I reach out to Reid and apologize? Did he want me to? Or did I need to give him space?

Still unsure after toweling off, and too anxious to sit around, I decided to do the one thing that always helped clear my head even though it’d require another shower later—I went for a run.

Orange and pink streaked the partly cloudy sky as the sun began its descent, and the temperature was mild enough that I got away with skipping a jacket.

The longer I ran, the clearer it became that I’d made a massive error with Reid the other night. I should’ve been down on my knees, thanking God or my lucky stars that they’d been listening in on my dreams, but instead, I’d believed it was too good to be true.

I only hoped it wouldn’t be too late to set things right.

As it turned out, I wouldn’t have to bang down his parents’ door, because as I drew near, I could see Reid standing by the edge of the lake, breaking off pieces of bread from the bag he held and throwing them out to the squawking ducks, who practically shoved each other out of the way to dive for the food.

I slowed down to a light jog and let my breath catch up, and when I was only a few feet away, Reid finally looked up, an inscrutable expression on his face.

“Hey,” I said, stepping forward cautiously, as if I were approaching a skittish animal that might run away.

“Come all this way for me, or just out for a run?”

Ah, so I hadn’t been the only one sulking today. “I wasn’t sure if you’d wanna see me.”