Chapter 23 #2
I turned my attention back to Mike and Deb, and the rest of the night passed with them lobbing insults not only at Ollie, but also at each other and sometimes even me, which, I had a feeling, meant they didn’t mind me crashing their party tonight.
A couple of hours later, my stomach muscles ached from laughing so hard, and it made me hope this wasn’t the last time I’d score an invite out with the three of them.
I hadn’t realized how desperately I’d been missing out on having people in my life to go out with or laugh with for a couple of hours.
To make me feel somewhat human again, even if I wasn’t sure that I’d ever get my life back to normal. Or my old sense of normal, anyway.
“All right, all right, all right,” Mike bellowed, doing his best Matthew McConaughey impersonation, though it was a bit slurred. “What time is it?” He blinked down at his watch. “Holy shit. Woman, why you make me stay out so late?”
Deb winked at me. “It’s Reid’s fault. He kept making you do his tequila shots.”
“Ohh, that asshole,” Mike said, narrowing his eyes at me. “Next time, you hold your own damn liquor. I’m not a storage closet.”
“I think he means human garbage disposal,” she whispered loudly.
“That’s what I said.” Mike rounded the table and gave Ollie a hug. Or fell into him, rather.
“I’ll drop you guys off,” Ollie said, as Mike then gave me a hug.
“Thanks, but I already confirmed an Uber.” Deb lifted her phone to show us the little black car moving toward Wilder’s, and then she came over to me, lifting up on her tiptoes to smack a kiss to my cheek.
“You’re gonna come hang out with us again soon, right?
You have to. Don’t let Ollie keep you away.
” Then she turned and pointed a stern finger in Ollie’s direction.
“You hear me, Olls? You make him come back.”
“I’ll be sure to drag him out against his will if he even thinks about protesting,” Ollie agreed.
That seemed to appease Deb, because she said, “Good boy,” and then patted my jaw before Mike put his arm around her shoulder.
“The chariot awaits, my lady,” he said, leading her away, and then, over his shoulder, he pointed at me. “Don’t think you’re getting out of karaoke next week.”
“I’ll make sure to bring my cotton balls for Ollie’s performance,” I said.
“Ohhh shit!” Mike said, as the three of them went slack-jawed. “He went there. Ollie, he went there, and I think I’m in love. Deb, I’m leaving you, sorry.” Mike stumbled back in my direction, and Deb laughed and pulled him back.
“You stupid ass. He’d make you sleep outside,” she said as his arm went back around her shoulders, and then she winked at us. “Later, guys.”
“Bye, Deb. Make sure his alarm is set,” Ollie said, and when he faced me again, he shook his head. “Well. You survived.”
I checked over my arms and legs. “No battle wounds that I can see. They weren’t too scary.”
“No? I’ll make sure they bring it next time.”
So there would be a next time… “Looking forward to it,” I said—and meant it.
“Good. You about ready to head out?”
“Yeah, gimme five minutes?”
“Sure.”
I walked down the narrow hallway toward the one-stall bathrooms, but when the door was locked, I leaned against the wall to wait.
A minute later, the door opened, and out came surfer guy—Holland, Ollie had called him.
Stupid name—and when he saw me, he stopped and gave me a long once-over, letting the door shut behind him.
“No wonder Ollie wasn’t up for getting together later,” he said, a lazy smile tipping his lips.
“Excuse me?”
His eyes met mine and he smirked. “I meant that as a compliment. You’re sexy as hell.”
Okay, that wasn’t what I’d been expecting. “Uh…thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, and then mimicked my pose, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. “You know, I hadn’t realized Ollie was seeing anyone, but I guess you two are serious, huh?”
“No, sorry. I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.”
The guy laughed, his pearly whites flashing in the dim light. “Nah, I’d never forget a face, especially one as handsome as yours. You’ve been dating since, what, February? I saw you guys at Fisherman’s Grill one night, but I was on a date of my own, so I didn’t come say hello.”
My face burned as I stepped back. “You’ve got the wrong guy. We just met.”
“Sure you did, sweet pea,” he said, laughing again.
“I wouldn’t be ashamed of claiming that man as mine.
You let me know if you decide to give him up.
Or vice versa.” With a wink, he pushed off the wall and brushed past me, and it wasn’t until I reached for the door handle that I realized my hands were shaking.
What the hell was that? Why would he think I was with Ollie back in February, for God’s sake? Do I have a twin I don’t know about?
I quickly finished and met Ollie back at the table, where he was stacking up the glasses on the table for the wait staff to have an easy cleanup. There was a signed copy of a bill next to him, and I scanned the table for mine.
“Did they forget to print mine out?” I asked.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I got it tonight.” Ollie shoved a copy in his back pocket and inclined his head toward the front door. “You ready?”
With my mind still on my bathroom encounter, I nodded absently and followed him out to the parking lot.
I wasn’t sure how to bring up what Holland had said back there, or why it bothered me so much when he’d obviously gotten the wrong person, but after a night of strange images and flashes berating my brain, I was feeling more than a little confused and overwhelmed.
I just needed to sleep it off, right? Right.
Maybe I’d just gotten overstimulated or something.
Like a fucking cat. Or maybe alcohol had screwed with my head.
Then I thought back to the way Ollie had looked at my mouth for the briefest of moments and that he’d paid for me tonight, and I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Maybe I’d had this whole night wrong.
Ollie must’ve caught on to my sudden change in mood, because he said, “Are you sure Mike and Deb didn’t scare you off? I know they’re a bit of a handful, and on tequila, it’s amped up about a hundred percent.”
“No, your friends are great. I really like them a lot. Wild, but great.”
“Whew. You got quiet for a minute there, so I wasn’t sure.”
I hadn’t planned to say anything, really I hadn’t, but the words came blurting out before I could stop them. “This wasn’t a date, you know.”
He gave me a strange look. “Yeah, I know.”
“Then why did you pay for me?”
“I paid for Mike and Deb’s food too. Friends do that sometimes. That a problem?”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m aware. But I wanted to. I invited you out. And it’s the least I can do for subjecting you to Mike’s mouth all night.”
“Oh. Well…thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I could sense him looking over at me, but I wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Is there something else wrong?”
“No.”
“Reid, I can feel the tension coming off you in waves. Did you not have a good time tonight?”
“I did.”
“So…?”
I had a feeling he wasn’t gonna let it go until I told him what was really bothering me, and even though it was an irrational thing to say, I found the words coming out anyway as I spun around to face him. “Look, I’m not gay.”
Ollie raised an eyebrow. “I know.”
“Do you? Because it doesn’t feel that way.”
He stopped walking. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m saying is this some kind of game you have with your friends? Try to turn the straight guy?” My anger and confusion combined and kept tumbling out, and I couldn’t make it stop.
“Excuse me?”
“Because if it is, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“Whoa,” he said, holding up his hands. “When have I ever given you the impression tonight that I was hitting on you? Besides paying the bill, which was not a big deal.”
“The guy back there? The one you hugged? He said he saw me with you one night at Fisherman’s Grill before.”
Ollie went to reply, stopped short, and stared at me. “He said what?”
“Why would he think he saw me with you? I know I’ve never been there with you, so what’s the deal, huh? Do I look like someone you used to date? Is that why you invited me out tonight?”
Even with just the lights of the restaurant to illuminate us, I could see that his face had gone ghostly white, and his body was so still that I wasn’t sure if he was still breathing.
When he spoke again, his voice strained barely above a whisper.
“No. I didn’t invite you out because you look like someone I dated.
I don’t know why Holland would tell you that.
I’m sorry if he made you uncomfortable.”
My mouth clamped shut, and I scrubbed a hand over my face. “No, I’m sorry. That was an asshole thing to say. I don’t even know why I said it.”
Ollie stared at me for a long minute, like he was trying to figure out who the hell had taken over my personality, and quite frankly, I was wondering the same thing.
Why had I felt the need to bring any of that up?
I’d never cared what anyone thought of me before, and it wasn’t like I was bothered over Ollie being gay, or anyone thinking I was, for that matter.
Ollie’s jaw ticked as he unlocked the car, and once we were both inside, he said, “You may find this hard to believe, but gay people have platonic friends too. Not everyone is a sexual target.”
“I know that,” I said in a quiet voice. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Do you have a habit of saying things you don’t mean?”
“Lately I seem to.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Automatic defensive reflex, maybe?” he said.
“Yeah. Maybe.”
He sighed and stared out the window. “Look, Reid. I know you’ve got a lot going on right now. There’s probably a lot you don’t understand, stuff you’re still figuring out, but do me a favor. Don’t take it out on the people trying to help you.”
His words struck a chord with me, sending a pang through my chest. “I apologize. I think this was a mistake.”
“What, coming out tonight?”
“I’m just a little…fucked up right now.” Yeah, that wasn’t even the half of it.
I was being ridiculous. He knew it, I knew it, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why.
All I knew was that I was entirely too pissed off about that guy Holland, and I was paying way too much attention to Ollie’s mouth, the way he had mine earlier.
But I’d meant what I said: I wasn’t gay.
Not that I hadn’t noticed Ollie when we’d get our coffee every morning at Joe’s, but how could you help but notice him?
He was a big guy. But now I wasn’t so sure that was the only reason.
What the hell is happening to me?
It was dead silent the entire drive to my apartment, one of those uncomfortable silences where you knew you needed to fill it with apologies or explanations, but the words wouldn’t come out.
I couldn’t unravel the conflict and chaos warring inside of me.
On one hand, I’d enjoyed the night more than I’d ever expected to, and it had more to do with the man beside me than Mike and Deb’s jokes.
There was something inherently kind about Ollie, even now, as he patiently deflected the jabs I’d hurled his way.
It made me wonder why he bothered with me, and if he ever would again.
I wouldn’t blame him for cutting ties and running, though for some inexplicable reason, the thought of never seeing him again sent a blast of panic through me.
Once we were in my neighborhood, Ollie circled around until he found an open parking space, but he didn’t shut off the car.
“For the record, I’m not sorry you came out tonight,” he said, and then looked over at me. “I’m only sorry you feel it was a mistake.”
With my hand on the door handle, I opened my mouth to apologize, but the words dissolved on my tongue with one look at the sincerity on his face.
The truth was that the guy scared me—not in a boogie man kind of way, but in a way that had me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
More than anything, I hated that I’d disappointed him, but I had a feeling any apology I gave tonight would be tossed aside, and so I simply thanked him for letting me tag along and headed upstairs to my empty apartment—alone and more miserable than I had been in a long time.