Chapter 27 Ilsa
Ilsa
As the kids from fourth period streamed out of the classroom, I opened my desk drawer and took out my Yogi Bear lunchbox, flipping open the lid to pull out the matching thermos.
I’d found the set in Cosi’s kitchen cabinet, tucked away next to a jar of lard. The lunchbox had belonged to Spencer, but obviously he was too cool for Yogi Bear these days.
Not me. I’d asked to borrow it, and every time I pictured a younger Spencer toting this around the elementary school, it made me smile.
A puff of steam escaped as I twisted off the thermos’s lid. The scent of salty broth filled my nose from the chicken noodle soup I’d made for dinner last night.
In the past two weeks, I’d started cooking more often for Cosi and Spencer. I still felt like a guest in their home, but between cooking and cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping, the guilt of imposing was slightly less.
I couldn’t stay on Pine Street forever, but at the moment, I had no furniture at the cabin, so I couldn’t exactly live there either.
It had taken ten total trips to clean out Dad’s house, but everything that had been destroyed was now gone. The cabin was nearly empty and walking through the front door was unbearable.
So I hadn’t spent much time on Cotters Lake, preferring to stay in town. To make homemade chicken noodle soup or lasagna or tater tot casserole for my guys. To enjoy a couple weeks of easy.
My stomach growled as I crumbled a stack of saltine crackers into my soup. Both Cosi and Spencer had teased me last night for using so many crackers, but I hated the sensation of slurping. Ever since I was a kid, if there was soup, I’d add so many crackers that it became a stew.
Dad had been the same way. We’d use an entire sleeve of saltines for a single can of Campbell’s soup.
These memories of Dad were bittersweet, but the pain was fading, day by day. I missed him. I would carry the regret of our strained relationship for the rest of my life. But being in Montana was healing too.
I’d forgotten just how much I loved the mountains. How many stars came out at night. How every sunset was a kaleidoscope of pastel colors.
I’d forgotten the things I’d learned from Dad and the habits we’d shared. Now when I crushed a handful of crackers into my soup, I did it with a fond smile. The same was true when I drank from his water jar.
A jar that I’d forgotten on the kitchen counter this morning.
My coffee cup was a poor replacement. The taste of coffee had infused itself into the ceramic mug, and no matter how many times I’d washed it out today, every sip came with a bitter tang.
I stirred my soup with a spoon, about to take a bite, when the sound of footsteps in the hall pulled my gaze to the door. Cosi walked into the classroom.
With my water jar in hand.
“Hi.” I smiled, soup and spoon pushed aside as he walked over to my desk.
“Hi, baby.” He set the jar down and bent to kiss my forehead. “Thought you might want that.”
“Thanks.”
He took a seat on the edge of my desk, stretching out his legs to cross them at his ankles. Comfortable. Familiar.
I put my hand on his thigh, feeling the muscles flex beneath. “I like that you come to visit me at work. I’ve never had a boyfriend do that before.”
“Boyfriend?” His eyebrow arched. “Makes me sound like I’m fifteen.”
I shrugged. “I’m surrounded by teenagers all day. Besides, what else should I call you?”
Cosi leaned in close until his mouth hovered over mine. “Yours.”
How I loved this man. Without question. It didn’t matter that our relationship was new. That we were still getting to know each other. My heart knew his. Belonged to him.
“Mine.” I put my hands on his face, pulling him in for a kiss, licking the seam of his lips until he parted for me and took control.
His tongue tangled with mine as he delved deep, exploring every corner of my mouth. He worshipped my lips, and though he didn’t touch me anywhere else, I felt him in every cell in my being.
It was reckless. It was claiming. It was a kiss that spoke the words neither of us were ready to say quite yet.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway tore us apart.
I cleared my throat, pulling in my lips to hide a smile as I put a few feet between us. The last thing I needed was to be caught kissing the sheriff.
Mrs. McNally walked by, her silver hair pulled back so tight the bun had to be giving her a headache. She paused at my doorway and gave a haughty puff when she saw Cosi perched on my desk.
“Hello, Mrs. McNally,” he said.
“Sheriff Raynes.” Her eyes narrowed on me before she continued down the hall.
“Self-righteous, old bat,” I muttered.
Cosi tossed his head back and laughed, the rich, carefree sound filling the classroom. It was mesmerizing, watching him laugh. His hazel eyes sparkled, and when they met mine, I fell a little deeper.
I wasn’t leaving Dalton, was I? Which meant I was going to have to kiss Harlan’s ass and beg him for another job. Damn.
“What’s that look?” he asked, running his thumb across my bottom lip.
“I was just thinking that I need a job in town. For next year.”
He blinked, taken aback for a moment. Then his mouth was on mine again, his hands framing my face, urging me out of my chair and onto my feet so he could wrap me in his arms.
So he could kiss me until we were breathless.
When he pulled away, his gaze searched mine. “Ilsa, I . . .”
“Me too,” I whispered.
He dropped his forehead to mine, keeping me close until the five-minute bell rang, warning that students would be returning to class soon.
“I wanted to give you some news, but it can wait.”
I shook my head, easing away and back to my seat so I could eat lunch while he talked. “No, tell me now.”
“We got the warrant this morning.”
My spoon fell out of my hand, clattering on my desk. “For Paul? He’s not in school today.”
“Chuck was able to catch Dean and Melody before they left their house this morning. They kept Paul home so we could take his prints there instead of at school.”
“Was it him?”
The defeated look on his face was answer enough.
“It wasn’t,” I said on an exhale. “That’s actually a relief.”
Paul was still a pain in my ass, but it would have broken something inside me if a student hated me enough to destroy my house. And I didn’t want a kid saddled with a record for his entire life because of a stupid decision he made when he was eighteen.
“If it wasn’t Paul, then who?”
Cosi dropped his chin. “I promised you I’d find out. And I’m terrified I’m going to break that promise.”
I took his hand, threading our fingers together. “Maybe all of this happened for a reason. Maybe breaking this promise means you can make me others that you’ll keep.”
His thumb drew a circle around my knuckle. “I’m not giving up.”
“I know you won’t.”
“I actually just came from Trick’s. Stopped in before he opened today to talk while it was quiet. See if he knows anyone named Jerry or a friend of your dad’s who matched your description.”
“And?”
Cosi shook his head. “Nothing. But Trick was just my first stop, not my only.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll get out of here so you can eat. See you at home?”
I liked how home sounded. Too much. “I think tonight we need to talk about my living situation.”
“Your living situation?”
“Well, yeah. I can’t live out of your guest bedroom forever.”
“Then move your stuff into ours.”
Ours? I liked how that sounded too. But that wasn’t my bedroom. Unless . . . “Are you asking me to live with you?”
“You already do, baby. Catch up.”
“But don’t you think it’s too fast?”
“Nope.”
“What about Spencer?”
Cosi glanced over his shoulder as kids started to filter into the hallway from their lunch break. “What about Spencer?”
“Don’t you think we should talk about this? Give it some time? Make sure it’s not weird for him?”
“Tell you what. If you want to talk to Spencer about your living situation, you go right on ahead. And if he says you can leave, then you can leave.”
I frowned at the arrogant smirk on his face. “Then I guess there’s a chance I won’t be at the house when you get there. The motel is open again. Maybe I’ll stay there until I buy a bed for the cabin.”
“See you at home.” Cosi chuckled. With a chaste kiss on my lips, he stood and pointed to my soup. “Got enough crackers?”
“Har har.” I picked up my spoon and took a bite, smiling as I chewed.
“Bye.” He winked and was gone.
Did we really just agree to live together? In less than five minutes? Shouldn’t big decisions, like an address change, take more than five minutes? Apparently not.
But that was Cosi.
Easy.
Happy.
I was still shoveling soup into my mouth as my fifth-period students filed into the room, taking their seats and pulling books and pencils from their backpacks.
As the bell to start class rang out, I swallowed the last of my lunch and chased it down with a gulp of water from my jar. Then I stowed my thermos and lunchbox before going to the chalkboard to write out the first equation for my juniors.
“Any volunteers to solve this one?”
Not a soul raised their hand.
“Don’t everyone rush to the chalkboard at once,” I teased. “Five points extra credit.”
Every kid raised their hand.
“Much better.”
Bribery truly worked wonders.
Don’t puke. Don’t puke. Don’t puke.
By the final class of the day, my soup was about to make a reappearance.
My stomach roiled as I sipped my water, hoping I could just make it to the last bell and not vomit in front of these kids.
I’d given them free time to get a head start on their homework so I wouldn’t have to speak. All I could do was breathe through my nose, enduring wave after wave of nausea.
Oh God, I was going to puke. My insides cramped so hard I wanted to cry. When the bell rang, I let out a huge breath, forcing a smile until the kids were gone. Then I grabbed my trash can and threw up my lunch.
When I was finished, I groaned and sagged in my chair, feeling better for a moment. “Gross.”
That was not something I expected the janitor to deal with, so I let myself have two minutes before I took the can to the bathroom, cleaning it out before returning to my class to pack up for the day.
Spencer walked through the door as I was pulling on my coat. “Um, you look like shit.”
“Don’t say shit in school,” I chided, zipping up my coat. Though I felt better after puking, the chills were setting in and my skin felt clammy. “I don’t feel very good. I think I might have that flu going around. Or last night’s soup made me sick.”
“Want me to call Dad to come pick you up?” he asked.
“No, he’s busy. I’ll just walk.”
The weather had changed this past week. A chinook had blown in and the warm wind had begun melting the snow.
The mild temperatures wouldn’t last. Winter would be slow to loosen its grip on Montana, but for now, the streets were clear of ice and the snowdrifts were shrinking by the hour.
And since it wasn’t freezing outside, the fresh air might clear my head.
“Are you sure?” Spencer asked.
“I’m sure.”
“’Kay. If you’re feeling up for it, maybe we could look at that map again tonight.”
“I’d like that.”
We’d finished decoding Dad’s number key, but we hadn’t spent much time trying to understand the atlas in the past two weeks. Mostly because there didn’t seem to be too much to find. Not until the snow melted and we could hike the trails he’d plotted.
But even though we couldn’t act yet, Spencer was enamored with the lore of a lost treasure. If he wanted to scatter all of Dad’s things on the kitchen table tonight, I’d gladly sit by his side just to watch his face light up.
“Are you sure you’re okay to walk home?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m sure. What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have practice?”
Spencer shrugged. “Just wanted to say hi.”
“Hi.” I looped my arm with his and let him walk me to the door. Then I sent him to the locker room to get changed for practice while I made my way down Main Street with my briefcase in hand.
The walk should have given me a boost of energy, but by the time I turned on Pine Street, the queasiness had returned. My head was spinning and sweat dripped down my temples.
Shit. Something was wrong. This couldn’t just be a flu.
I needed to get inside, call Cosi for help. Every step ached and my stomach pinched so hard it hurt to breathe. But I kept moving, my gaze locked on the house, putting one foot in front of the other. My legs wobbled and I nearly tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.
White and black spots burst in front of my eyes, too bright and too dark at the same time. It was a miracle that I made it to the house, and it took the last shards of my strength to make it to the front door. When I reached the welcome mat, I dropped to my knees, unable to stand.
I breathed through my nose as saliva pooled in my mouth. My fingertips were tingling and I couldn’t get my hand into my coat pocket to take out my keys.
Cosi had made me my own key to the house so I wouldn’t have to use the spare. Except I couldn’t lift my arm. Why couldn’t I move my arm?
Help. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
The world was spinning too fast. My heart was beating too hard. A cough tore through my chest, and I tasted the metallic tang of blood when I swallowed.
A new wave of dizziness sent me sideways, falling to my shoulder. My throat was dry and burning.
If I could just get some water, if I could clear my throat and call for help . . .
Except my water jar was on my desk at school. I’d forgotten it again. That was my last thought before the world went black.