CHAPTER TWO
Luisa—
My thumb and finger rub across the satin fabric of the dark burgundy nightgown hanging on the display. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?” I murmur to Carmen.
“It’s the color of your bridesmaid dress. The one you said Blue liked,” she teases me.
I roll my eyes. “Stop.”
“Maybe you should get it. There’s always hope you’ll see him again.” She gives me a wink.
I haven’t told her I’ve texted him repeatedly since I saw him three days ago. I haven’t even told her I’ve got his number. I’m half afraid if my friends found out, they’d grab my phone and delete it.
She tugs my arm. “Come on. The bra I’m looking for is on the back wall.”
I’ve never been in this shop before, but Carmen has. She finds what she’s looking for, and we go to the register.
Glancing around, I decide I like this place with its pink and cream color scheme.
Everything is satin and lace and feminine.
While the salesgirl rings up Carmen’s selection, I stroll over to a display of perfumes and pick one up, putting it to my nose.
It’s light and smells fresh and fruity like grapefruit.
A hand reaches past me and grabs one of the pretty boxes off the glass shelf.
I turn and find Carmen grinning. “I’m getting this for your birthday.”
“My birthday was last month, and you already got me something. This cute little clutch.” I hold it up.
“Do you like this scent?” she asks, ignoring my comment.
“I love it, but you know my father doesn’t let me wear perfume.”
“You’re eighteen now, Luisa. You need to rebel a little.” She sprays me with the tester, then giggles and carries the box to the register. “Add this to my order, please, and put it in a separate bag.”
Ten minutes later, we emerge from the shop, the little pale-pink striped bag swinging from my fingers. I’m happy. It’s a sunny day, and my best friend in the world just bought me my very first bottle of perfume.
“Let’s walk down to the diner and get a milkshake,” Carmen suggests.
“Sounds good.” We turn to head that way when a distant sound carries to us, getting louder by the second. The roar of Harley engines reverberates off every building in the old downtown section of Main Street as a dozen of them roll past us.
The Saint’s Outlaws.
I spot Blue. I’ve learned to identify his bike enough to pick him out of the pack. He’s wearing mirrored sunglasses, and I can’t see his eyes, but I notice his head turn in my direction as he passes, and he gives a little twist to his throttle, revving his engine.
Is that a sign, some kind of signal to me letting me know he sees me?
My joy multiplies just at the sight of him.
They talk about puppy love, but that’s not what this is.
Blue may be my first kiss, but he’s so much more.
To me, he’s become a symbol of the hope that somehow, I won’t have to go through with the arranged relationship my father has planned for me.
Carmen and I aren’t the only ones stopping and staring when the Saint’s Outlaws ride past. Two stores down, I see Ramona and Marcela staring.
They spot us and hurry over.
“I didn’t know you two were shopping today,” Marcela says with a bright smile.
I’m still staring after Blue when Carmen answers her. “I needed a new bra.”
“Ramona needed a new book to read.” Marcela holds up a bag. “We bought the store out of every new romance they had.”
“We’re going to the diner to get a shake. Do you want to join us?” Carmen asks.
“Hey,” Ramona says to me, waving her hand in front of my face. “Snap out of it.” Then she follows my eyes. “Don’t waste your time dreaming about him. You know you can’t have him. You’re promised to Mateo.”
“I don’t need you to remind me, Ramona,” I snap, all the joy of the day now sucked out at the mention of my future.
I feel so trapped, and now that I’ve turned eighteen and the summer is almost over, my dread and anxiety have only grown.
I’ve always been a good girl and a dutiful daughter.
I never miss Mass.
I say the rosary.
I go to confession.
But none of it makes me want Blue any less.
I know I can’t have him. Not really. But somehow, I can’t let go of the idea of him.
I’ve been warned off men like him my whole life.
Blue is wild and sexy and an outlaw biker.
He’s the definition of dangerous. He lives on the edge.
He’s not at all the kind of man I’m supposed to want.
But I do.
I want him desperately.
We walk down to the diner and slide into a booth by the front window. The girls are busy chatting and scanning the menu, even though we all said we were getting shakes.
I pull out my phone and tap out a quick text to Blue.
I know he won’t answer. He never does, but he hasn’t blocked me, so I know he’s reading my texts.
Somehow it makes me feel connected to him.
I don’t beg him to meet me anymore. Now, I just tell him about my day.
It’s almost like I’m writing a soldier overseas.
ME: I saw you ride past, and I saw you look over at me.
I’d just been in the lingerie store. I saw a nightgown in the same shade as my bridesmaid dress, and all I could think of was…
I wonder if Blue would like this. I know you would never see me in it, so I didn’t buy it. But if I thought there was a chance…
ME: I don’t usually say or think things like that. Do you see what you’ve done to me? I’ve become a different person. I’m a stranger to myself. I think about you all the time. Do you miss me, Blue?
“Luisa, what are you doing?” Ramona asks, and I send the text and shove my phone in my bag.
“Nothing,” I say, and I’m glad when the waitress comes over to take our order.