CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Luisa—
When I pull up at my house, my cousin, Alba, is standing in the drive with Estrella. I completely forgot they were coming to dinner tonight.
Shit.
I smile. My mouth is getting as bad as Blue’s. I’ve cursed more in the last month than I have in my life. I’m going to have to say a bunch of rosary prayers.
Climbing out of the car, I smile at them. “Hey, how are you?”
“We just pulled up,” Estella says.
I come around the side of the car, and Alba’s eyes sweep over me, and her mouth drops open. “What in the devil are you wearing?” Then her eyes get huge. “You’ve been with him, haven’t you? That… that biker. You’ve been on that motorcycle of his, haven’t you?”
I roll my eyes and move past them. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’m just wearing a pair of jeans.”
“And those boots.” She points at my feet. “Those are the kinds they wear.”
“Hardly,” I say. “Just drop it.”
“This is crazy. You know that, right?”
“Alba, it’s none of your business.”
“This isn’t some fling anymore.”
“You’re not my mother, Alba.”
Then she smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “Mateo is waiting inside for you.”
“What?” The blood drains from my face.
“Your mother invited him.”
Full-blown panic sets in. “You’ve got to help me.” I look to Estrella. I know she’ll help me. “I need you to distract my mother, just long enough for me to get to my room. I can’t let them see me like this.”
“Come on. I’ll keep her busy at the counter, and you can sneak past.”
When we enter, Alba and Estrella put their arms around my mother and tell her the pan of enchiladas she just took out of the oven are the best they’ve ever seen.
“You make them way better than my mama,” Estrella says. “What’s your secret?”
I dash upstairs and tear through my closet. I find a demure turquoise cotton dress with white embroidery, and exchange the boots for colorful leather woven huaraches.
By the time I come down, everyone is seated at the table.
“There you are. Your cousins told me you came in, but I didn’t see you.”
“I was just changing. I stayed late helping at the church.” My eyes shift around the table. Mateo stands when I enter.
“Luisa, you look very beautiful tonight.”
“Thank you.”
“Sit, Luisa. The food is getting cold.” My father passes a plate to Mateo, who takes his chair.
I take the only empty spot between Alba and Estrella.
Alba glares at me and mutters under her breath, “You better pray for your soul—making the church a part of your lie. Have you no shame?”
I ignore her and smile at Mateo. He’s handsome in a dark suit and white shirt. His hair is slicked back in what must be an expensive cut. His face is very attractive, and I’m sure he must have girls chasing after him, yet here he is at our dinner table because my mother had only to invite him.
I suppose he’s not as opposed to this arrangement as I am. And why would he be? After we wed, he could cheat on me or even find a mistress, and no one would say a thing. But if I did it, I’d be disgraced. It’s so unfair.
After dinner, he and I sit on the porch and sip lemonade. I know the family isn’t far, and my mother or father is probably listening through the open window.
We make idle conversation. He tells me about his last semester of schooling, and how he can’t wait for it to be over.
I listen politely until he broaches a topic of importance.
“When classes are over, we shall get engaged. Perhaps a wedding next summer. By then I should be established in my father’s place at the estate.
“So soon? I thought it would take longer to… get established.”
“I see no need to wait. My degree has been the only thing holding me back.”
He’s got it all decided like I have no say in the matter, and the walls feel like they’re closing in on me. Everything inside me is screaming no. There must be a dozen girls who’d kill to be in my position, but all I want to do is run.
Mateo has so much to offer, at least in my parents’ eyes. He can give me stability and a comfortable life—all the things a girl like me is taught to want.
But I don’t want any of it. Not with him.
My stomach churns.
“I… I really must get inside. I should help my mother clean up the kitchen and…” I trail off.
“Of course.” Mateo stands, and I can’t help wondering if he’s as anxious to leave as I am to see him gone. Maybe this is as much a duty for him as it is for me.
It’s like there are no feelings involved. How can this be any girl’s dream?
He kisses me chastely on the cheek. “Tell your mother and father goodbye for me, will you?”
“Of course.”
“Dinner was delicious. Pass on my compliments to your mother.”
“I will. Goodbye, Mateo.”
“Goodbye, Luisa.”
He climbs into his expensive jeep and drives off, and I relax for the first time.
My cousins Alba and Estrella come outside, like they’d been watching.
“What did he say? Why did he leave?”
“He had studies,” I lie. “A test, I think.”
Alba folds her arms. “You’re blind, Luisa. That man is gorgeous. I’d snap him up in a heartbeat.”
“You’re welcome to him, Alba.”
“You know I’m engaged to Jose.” She tsks. “What is not to like about him?”
“I like him just fine, but there’s no spark.”
“Spark. Pfft. What’s so great about a spark? The man can afford to give you anything you desire. You’re a fool, Luisa.”
With that, she marches to her car. “Come on, Estella.”
Estella hugs me. “She’s wrong. Love is important. Don’t ever give up hope.”
I watch her go, and sadness fills me. I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it through what’s to come. I know I’m going to break my mother’s heart as sure as I’m standing here. But is my own heart not important?