Chapter 9
Skylar
My sandpaper eyes made it really hard to remember why I agreed to pick up a morning shift on the main hospital pediatric floor. I had to be there at six, as opposed to the normal eight thirty-ish.
Those extra two hours were murder. Absolute murder.
And once again, I was out of coffee. I spent way too long searching for the other bag of light roast I could’ve sworn I bought before giving up and driving to the hospital with my eyes propped open.
I didn’t have time to stop at my favorite coffee shop.
The hospital cafe had to do. It was okay, though, their coffee wasn’t terrible.
I regretted my decision not to stop at the cafe about ten seconds after I ordered my large coffee. As I stood beside the counter, trying to convince my eyelids that being open was a better state than they were currently in, I heard the worst sound in the world.
“Hey, Skye. How was your weekend?”
My ex’s voice grated at my nerves, making me want to grit my teeth and slam his head into the counter.
Maybe I was still a little bitter. Just a tad. “What do you care?” I shot over my shoulder.
I was cranky, but I hadn’t had any coffee. Nobody should have to deal with Bret sans caffeine. Or ever.
“Come on, Skye. Don’t be that way. I’ll always care for you.”
My eyes finally opened as his words struck me. Freaking hilarious. “Go care about your new wife.”
The barista gave us both a wild-eyed look and handed me a big cup of coffee. “Thanks,” I whispered. I had cream and sugar in my office, but I wasn’t headed to my normal job, so I had to stop at the station and get some, giving Bret another opportunity to say something.
“Is this how it’s going to be? Will you ever move on?”
I sighed and tried not to turn around and pour my scalding hot coffee in his face. “Bret,” I said without turning around. “I have moved on. I have even forgiven you. I simply dislike you and don’t want to see you or speak to you. Is that too much to ask?”
Apparently, it was, because as I walked away from the cafe, Bret followed. “Skye, what happened wasn’t planned. I didn’t intend to fall in love with Mary. Or for her to get pregnant, definitely. I felt obligated to marry her after getting her pregnant.”
His whiny voice was just simply more than I could take. I whirled at the elevators after pressing the button. Hopefully, the lift came quickly. “Bret, you’re a lying, cheating piece of shit. I hope your wife realizes what total scum you are and leaves you. Soon.”
To punctuate my words, the elevator dinged behind me. I turned and stepped on. “Don’t follow me,” I hissed as I jabbed at the close doors button.
Although it felt good to say those things, my encounter with Bret soured my already sleepy mood. As soon as the coffee cooled enough, I started sipping it. If I was going to be sour from my Bret encounter, at least I could be awake.
I got to the floor and was met by the department’s usual NP. “Hey.” I looked around. “Was this not my day?”
She gave me a blank look. “Yeah, but my schedule opened up. They were supposed to call you.”
So here I was, and nobody needed me. The hospital paid me by the hour, but I was salary over at the clinic.
“Okay.” I gave her a tight smile. “I’ll just head over to the clinic.
” I might as well get some time in over there now that I was up early and awake, kind of.
I had some paperwork I needed to do, anyway.
I gripped my coffee and tried not to walk like I had a stick shoved up my ass. I was beyond aggravated, but it wasn’t her fault. There was no telling whose fault it was, and I wasn’t one to want to hunt down the poor clerk or nurse who had dropped the ball.
Even though I didn’t want to come down hard on one person didn’t mean I was in a better mood.
When I got to the office, it turned out we’d had two nurses call out, so I ended up putting on my RN hat for the day.
Not that I minded, but it didn’t make me any less cranky to find out they needed me all day.
“Enough of this.” A couple of hours into my day, Anthony cornered me in an empty exam room as I finished changing out the drape over the exam table.
I set the drape down and faced him in surprise. “What?”
“Everyone is complaining about you today. You do realize nobody asked you to work today, right? We would’ve muddled through, even down two nurses.”
I glared at him. “I thought I’d help out.”
He nodded and checked his smartwatch. “Fine. Come on.” Reaching out, he snatched my hand and pulled me from the room.
I didn’t ask where we were going as he dragged me through the offices and out into the waiting room.
I had been pretty crabby, so he obviously thought I needed some lunch.
It was the right time for it, anyway. My stomach was rumbling like crazy.
“Maybe a nice sandwich will put me in a better mood,” I muttered.
The elevator went up, to my surprise. I looked at Anthony with my eyebrows raised. There wasn’t anywhere to eat above us.
Anthony held up his hand and when the elevator doors opened on the top floor, he took my hand again and we walked around the corner to the stairs. He banged the door open. I considered questioning him, but it was pretty obvious we were going to the roof. I just wasn’t sure why yet.
He banged that door open, too, but as soon as we stepped out into the bright, warm, sunlight, he stuck out his foot, then bent over, balancing on one leg.
“On TV shows, when they come onto roofs, they always get locked out,” he explained after he picked up a large piece of cinder block and put it in the doorframe, so the door stayed cracked open. “It seemed better safe than sorry.”
I let out the first laugh I’d had all day. “I think I’ve seen that show.”
Anthony took my hand again and pulled me forward. “Come on.”
“Can I ask what we’re doing?” I arched an eyebrow and looked around at our small town.
The hospital serviced several counties nearby, otherwise, there wouldn’t be nearly enough people in Bluewater to justify such a large medical center.
I spied my dad’s body shop through the trees, the spring growth still thin enough to see most of Main Street.
In a few weeks, the bright green leaves and budding flowers would obscure the details.
“Scream.” Anthony spread his hand out, indicating the vast open space in front of us.
I peered over the side of the roof to the parking lot six stories below. “Excuse me?”
“You are in the worst mood I’ve seen since I came home. And for once, you’re not yelling at just me. It’s everyone. So, I thought you might need a good scream.” He indicated the view again. “What better place to do it?”
He had a point, but it felt so silly I looked at him askance. “Scream.”
“Seriously.” Anthony laughed and turned to face the open air.
He opened his mouth and bellowed, sticking his chest out and holding his head back.
I jumped a little at the sudden loudness, but then couldn’t stop the giggling.
He faced me again after a good, long yell.
“Laugh all you want, but I feel better. Just be careful not to yell so loud or hard that it makes your vocal cords sore.”
“Yes, doctor,” I said through my giggles. It was too hard to do with Anthony staring at me, so I paced and looked out at the town.
And remembered Bret’s words from this morning.
“Bret is trash, you know?” I spoke to Anthony, but I didn’t look at him.
“Total scum. He made me feel loved and cherished and like everything would work out beautifully. His betrayal was a complete blindside. Which,” I started shaking my hands and picked up steam, “I should’ve seen coming.
All the warning signs were there. But no, I had to be naive and now I have to see him every fucking day.
He cheated because I wouldn’t give him a baby. ”
My inner turmoil and rage bubbled up inside me.
I whirled and faced Anthony. “And I wouldn’t give him a baby because I can’t have them!
” I screamed the last words, totally ignoring his warnings about my vocal cords.
They rubbed together as my words turned into a raw scream, and the pain of never being able to bear a child erupted from my mouth.
When I finished, the silence beat at my ears like a drum. I stared at Anthony, challenging him to say something about the secret I’d revealed.
Instead of speaking, he walked forward and reached up.
I stopped myself from flinching and was surprised when he wiped my cheeks tenderly.
I hadn’t even realized I was crying. “What do you mean you can’t have children?
” He wiped his hands on his pants, though for a split second I thought he was going to lick the tears off his finger.
Weird.
I shrugged and sniffled, wishing I had a tissue. As if he’d read my mind, Anthony pulled a handkerchief out of his pants pocket. “It’s wrinkled but clean.” He held it out.
I took it gratefully and wiped my nose. “I have PCOS.”
He took the handkerchief from me and folded it over before dabbing under my eyes at the tears that continued to fall. “PCOS doesn’t mean no kids. It’s not the end-all, be-all.”
Folding the handkerchief again, he continued dabbing without coming too close or touching me in any other way. His actions spoke of boundaries and caring.
I appreciated it more than I could say, his respect for my bodily autonomy. Lifting my gaze, I stared into his eyes as he continued to speak. “Maybe the universe knew that Bret wasn’t meant to be the father of your children.”
His suggestion warmed my heart but also tickled that tiny sliver of hope I kept stamped down and under control. I knew there was always a chance of children, but it hadn’t happened in years with Bret, even though we never used any sort of birth control.
He thought I was doing it on purpose. I never could bring myself to tell him the truth. Maybe there was a reason for that as well.
Looking deep into Anthony’s eyes as he lowered his hand was nearly too much for me. He parted his lips slightly, and when his tongue darted out to moisten them, I shuffled forward a half-step. I leaned forward ever so slightly just as Anthony stepped away.
Son of a bitch. I’d been about to go for it. Talk about an about-face. I’d gone from hating his guts to lusting after his lip moistening.
His gaze was still on me, and for a split second, his eyes looked like embers, like coals banked in a fire.
He blinked and it disappeared, but I would’ve sworn he’d reflected flames.
I looked around the roof, but nothing remotely resembling a fire was up here.
Damn. Must’ve been a trick of the light.
Something felt so off to me, but I’d just broken down on the rooftop and screamed my deepest secret to the world. My emotions weren’t to be trusted at the moment.
Anthony held out his hand again. “Let’s go eat something while we’ve got a break, yeah?”
I nodded and took his hand, and the spark I’d seen in his eyes flashed between us as soon as we touched. My brain was so focused on the fact that I almost kissed Anthony and the disappointment that it hadn’t actually happened that I almost missed how hot his hand was.
“Anthony, you’re burning up,” I exclaimed.
He pulled his hand out of mine and looked at me in surprise. “Am I?” Before he reached for the cinder block to open the door, he leaned over. “Feel me.”
I nearly snorted. I wanted to feel him all right. So much for hating him and barely forgiving him. I pressed the back of my hand against his forehead, but he was cool to the touch. Confused, I snatched up his hand again.
There was no excess heat. “I guess I’m a little woozy from all the yelling,” I said weakly. “Let’s go eat.”
He grabbed the block and then held the door open for me. As I walked through, I reminded myself he had betrayed me. I wasn’t in the market for being his bestie again like nothing had ever happened those years back.
No matter how hot he was. Literally or figuratively.