Chapter 6
Jace
I was so fucking pissed at Briana’s ex-husband that I didn’t feel the pain until I was home. I found Sammy sitting on the stairs to my apartment, calmly laying out tarot cards on the next stair up, like she didn’t have a care in the world.
The concoction she’d given me hadn’t been anything but torture.
I’d downed it, and within minutes it had felt like my entire soul was being ripped from my body.
I’d been in hell for two solid days. Work wasn’t remotely an option.
Fuck, I hadn’t even been able to get out of the damn bed.
Anthony and Skye brought the babies over a couple of times and cooked me a meal.
I’d barely been able to eat. They’d told me that everyone was pitching in to cover me at the bar.
I didn’t know who everyone was, but at the moment I hadn’t cared, either.
When the pain had finally subsided, I’d thought it was over. Done. I was free. My body felt like my own again, if a little weak from not eating.
Since I’d finally felt halfway normal, I’d decided to walk down to the diner and get a juicy burger and fries.
I needed to run a shift tonight, and luckily it was Sunday, so it would be slow to give me time to catch up on whatever inevitably hadn’t been done on a busy Friday and Saturday night shift while I’d been incapacitated.
But halfway to the diner, the mating pull nearly knocked me off my feet. This was supposed to have been gone. I didn’t understand.
But I did follow it, into the pizza buffet’s parking lot, to find Briana about to be attacked by her ex-husband.
Again.
Seriously, what the fuck was this guy’s problem?
I’d thought it was a fluke, me still feeling drawn toward Briana, until the cops had asked if I knew her. She looked at me with something in her eyes that made me pause. It was hope or appreciation or something, but whatever it was, it was too damn much. I rejected her again.
The fond look on her face had morphed into disdain and possibly hatred. And the vice had gripped my chest… again. I took off for home as fast as I could, only to find Sammy sitting there.
She’d played me.
“What fucking game are you playing at?” I growled out.
Sammy flipped a card over, then slowly turned her gaze toward me. She didn’t blink, just stared. I didn’t know if she was just looking at me or seeing me. I wanted to crowd past her and go back to bed, but I wasn’t going to push her that far.
Sammy’s powers went beyond that of any witch I’d ever known.
Even Anthony wasn’t sure of her limits. We’d had this discussion after Sammy had been able to block one of the clan members from shifting as a punishment for hiring a rogue witch to steal the memories of Anthony’s mate.
Neither of us was even sure if Sammy knew her own limits.
But I wasn’t crazy enough to cross her. That didn’t mean I liked the games she was playing or that I would stay quiet about it.
“Child, I gave you a small dose of what it’s going to feel like when that bond is broken.” She raised her eyebrows to let that sink in.
Shit. “That wasn’t all?” It got worse. “If the pain is more intense than that, it will kill me.”
“It gets worse and it won’t kill you. You are sure that pain is really worth it?
Is being free to sleep around with different women for the rest of your life more important than feeling the love of your fated mate until you both die together?
” She seemed like she was getting aggravated with me.
But she knew it was about a lot more than sleeping around.
I opened my mouth to remind her of what I went through, but she held up a hand.
“How could you ever question fate and destiny when you were born to a species that the world doesn’t even know exists?
Honey, that little girl hurt you badly, I know.
But she wasn’t your destiny. The universe makes no mistakes.
You’re taking a huge shit on the blessing of having a fated mate. ”
I’d never seen Sammy so worked up before, and I didn’t understand why she was so upset. But then her eyes blackened and almost hardened. It was spooky enough to freeze my blood, and I was a freaking dragon. They looked like two coals.
Her voice dropped low and menacing. “Witches are cursed to be alone. Love and feelings skew our magic. We become irrational.” After she sucked in a shuddering breath, she continued in the creepy, staring way.
Almost in a trance, but not quite. “It’s why I try not to stay with a clan too long, to avoid attachments. This clan I’ve been with the longest.”
She looked sad. “I’ve been doing things that go far beyond what a clan’s witch should do because you have become my family. I don’t have a family other than the Bluewater clan. You fools are my brothers, my sisters. I find myself unable to remain neutral when I see you making dumb decisions.”
She narrowed her gaze on me. “I’ve seen two futures for you. If you walk away from Bri, you’re going to regret it. Deeply. I won’t force your hand, but I can’t remain neutral. You’re making a huge mistake.”
Then, Sammy smiled and patted my hand. “The other future…” The sun shone brighter on her face as if the atmosphere knew the other image in her head was idyllic.
“It’s so beautiful it makes me envious. But it’s up to you and your decisions on whether that future will happen or if you’ll be empty and in pain for the rest of your life. ”
She blinked and her eyes instantly looked like they always had. I began to think I’d imagined her strange look. I didn’t imagine how exhausted she looked. “Are you okay?” I asked. After that show she’d put on, I was afraid to speak loudly.
“I’m sorry I tricked you. There is no magic cure to speed up the breaking of the bond. If you truly intend to push Briana away, just keep doing what you’re doing and brace yourself. It’ll happen on its own, but the pain will be about five times worse than what that potion did to you.”
That was a truly terrifying thought. Almost enough to really make me rethink things. But I wouldn’t take a mate and child just to avoid some pain. I wasn’t that kind of man. I was doing this because it was the right thing to do to avoid emotional turmoil for all of us.
Sammy stood and looked down at me. “I really hope you’ll consider what I’ve said before making a concrete decision.”
I looked away to gather my thoughts and figure out how to put my emotions into words. When I looked back, she was gone. “Okay, then.”
I stood and went upstairs to scarf down some food before going down to cover my bar shift.
After I closed up the bar, I was pretty damn exhausted, but I needed time to fly. I hopped in my truck and headed for clan lands. My head and my heart were locked in a deep battle. Sammy’s words rang in my head, and I couldn’t shake them. Was she right? Maybe I was being a fool to question fate.
My father had run out on my mother, said he was too much of a rolling stone.
It had devastated me and my mother, and she’d never truly gotten over it.
She’d fallen head over heels in love with him, but he’d never loved her.
Or me, apparently. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him after that.
And then just out of high school, I’d gotten one of the girls in the clan pregnant.
I’d been ecstatic. Thrilled! Until she had the baby, and during the surge of hormones after, while I was holding my son, happier than I could remember being in my entire life, she’d dissolved into tears and told me he might not be mine.
We’d done the paternity test and sure enough, he wasn’t. She and her family left town with my son, the boy I still thought of as mine deep down in my heart, and I hadn’t seen them since.
I vowed not to ever get attached to a child again. What business did I have being a father anyway? My dad hadn’t given me any sort of example to go off of. I’d just screw up that adorable little girl and break Bri’s heart.
I shifted as soon as I got onto clan lands and flew over the trees in the dark. All the questions and uncertainties tossed through my mind, from picturing Anthony and Skye and how much they were in love, to how I felt holding their little babies.
And how it felt seeing my son taken out of my arms to go into someone else’s.
I flew until I was exhausted, then drove home. I had a long week ahead of me, lots of work to do and more than likely I’d be in a lot of pain.
I didn’t look forward to it at all.
Damn, I needed to blow off some steam. I got the Friday night shift covered, so I didn’t have to go in tonight, but the mating bond had been doing some weird things. As the week had progressed, it grew itchy.
The pain didn’t leave. The itch added to it made for one uncomfortable week. I grabbed my phone and texted my buddy, Wayne. Shooting range?
He was a personal chef and almost always busy, but I knew Anthony would say no, so I didn’t bother asking him. He liked being home with his mate and babies. Not that I blamed him. If I were free to be in his position, I’d probably feel the same way.
Divorcees and single women, especially older women and widows, loved calling Wayne to cater for them. I didn’t have high hopes that he’d be able to go, but he replied pretty quickly that he’d had a cancellation and would meet me there.
Nice. Shooting targets was a lot more fun than most people realized. Cathartic. I took another long, hot shower. The heat was all that helped my aching muscles. The tea Sammy gave me helped for a few hours after I took it, but once it wore off, I was back to the pain.
Right before I walked out the door, I gulped down a scalding hot cup of the tea and put extra herbs in it. I had my guns and ammo in my backpack, but the range was almost out of town, so I drove over there.
As I waited for the tea to work, I reminded myself it would only be a few days for the bond to be completely broken, and then I’d be fine. Regrets, I could live with. It wasn’t much longer to endure this torment.
Wayne and I shot the shit for a minute, then went inside and got down to business. “I bet a hundred bucks I’ll have a better score,” Wayne said.
I snorted. “I’m a better shot and you know it.”
“Yeah, but you’re not acting right.” He looked me over. “You look like shit.”
“Shut up and shoot,” I growled.
Focusing on my target, I went into the zone and burned through my ammo. Wayne had been right about one thing; my aim wasn’t as good as it usually was. I still hit my target respectably, but nothing like I usually would.
I set my gun down to adjust my earplugs when my chest began to compress, like someone was shoving against it as hard as they could.
It felt like it was about to cave in. I cursed the universe in my mind and tried to breathe through it.
It would be over soon. Bri hated me. I felt it, so soon I’d be nothing to her.
The bond would be broken. I just had to endure a few more days.
But then, her laughter filled the room. My heart pounded harder, exacerbating the crushing pain in my chest.
I tried to ignore it, but that lasted about five seconds. I couldn’t stop myself from looking for her. I followed the sound and the pull down a few stalls to find a man teaching her how to shoot.
Her laughter turned to focus. She took a deep breath and unloaded her clip into her target. She was clearly nervous, not used to handling a gun, but she did pretty well. Hit the target center mass every time. I couldn’t help but feel proud of her and for her.
I tried to hide my smile when she turned and spoke to the man. “That’s good, isn’t it, Dad?”
He was her father. I’d been a little worried. With the man being white and Bri black, I couldn’t be sure this wasn’t a date, even with the age difference. “You’re a natural, baby girl,” her father said.
Words slipped out of my mouth and even as I said them, I wished I’d kept quiet. “Your stance was off a little. With some adjusting, you’ll do even better.”
Fuck. Why had I said that? The joy melted off of her face in an instant when she glanced over her Dad’s shoulder at me.
My chest hurt worse than it had to date. I pressed my hand against the wall and tried not to pass out. I didn’t know what it was, but in that moment, I regretted every decision I’d ever made regarding Bri. I’d been doing everything wrong. Every rude word and attempt to push her away piled in on me.
Flashes of Bri and me happily sitting in front of a fire sipping wine ran through my mind, followed by Christmas celebrations with Hayden and a faceless child. Crowding in behind that was hiking with Bri, eating with Bri, everything, for the rest of my life, with Briana and Hayden.
I felt nothing but complete joy and love, and a feeling of being whole.
Then it faded and another future flashed through my mind. Countless women. Lonely nights, lonely flights, lonely holidays. Emptiness and cold.
When I blinked again, I’d gone down on one knee. I was devastated by the second possible future. How could I survive that? It was so barren.
Gasping, I tried to stagger back to my feet. Wayne’s voice rang hollow in my ears. “Jace? Jace!” His footsteps pounded around me like an earthquake.
“What’s going on?” Bri asked. Her voice was shrill and tinny, not at all like she usually sounded.
Wayne got in my face. “Do you need Sammy or Doc?”
I knew what this was. This was Sammy. She was showing me what she’d seen.
It was breaking my heart and tearing the bond.
The biggest problem was that now that I’d seen what the future could be, how wonderful it could be, I didn’t want to lose it.
Judging by the pain wracking my body, I was too late. I’d lost her forever.