Chapter 19
Wayne
When I turned off the truck engine, I sighed and stared up at my mom’s house. My heavy heart kept me from walking right in. That and the burning tattoo on my arm. It had been two days since I’d seen Bianca, and my dragon let me know every minute that I should be with her.
It was my own damn fault. I’d been wracking my brains for what else I could do to let go of this damn anger, so I didn’t have outbursts like that again.
It had definitely been one of the best I’d ever had.
As far as outbursts went, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.
But still, it was bad enough and not something I ever needed to repeat.
My behavior was deeply rooted, and it had to change. I couldn’t ignore it or make excuses for it if it was going to push away people I cared about, specifically Bianca.
Sammy’s words rang in my head about facing my demons. I didn’t know how literal she was being, but she couldn’t have meant me literally facing my dad. There was only one other person who could help me figure it out and face my proverbial demons.
My mom.
With a grumble, I got out of the truck and slammed the door shut behind me. She must’ve heard because she had the front door open before I hit the porch steps. “Hey, babe,” she said. “Come in.”
I’d texted her before I left my place to make sure she was home alone and had time to talk. I hadn’t been looking forward to this conversation, but I couldn’t put it off. I missed Bee too much to wait any longer.
As soon as she sat down on the couch and looked at me, she scooted close and took my hand. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
I sighed and leaned back. At least I knew she wouldn’t judge me. My mother would do anything she could to help me. “I lost my temper with Bianca. I said some hurtful things.”
Mom sighed and brushed my hair out of my face. “Oh, no.”
“It wasn’t the worst. Nothing irreparable.
But I definitely wish I hadn’t said anything.
Especially when the whole thing was actually a misunderstanding.
” Bee hadn’t meant to disappear on me. She’d thought she’d texted me, after all.
“I couldn’t find Bianca, then when I did, I let my fear turn to anger and took it out on her. ”
“What were you thinking? Why would you let yourself react that way?” Mom put her hand on my shoulder.
I stared at her, wishing she’d just understand.
“What?” she asked. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“When I was a kid, you always told me I had my father’s temper. Nobody ever told me it was a horrible thing to have.”
Mom’s face fell. “Oh, honey. You weren’t a bad kid, not at all. You got into your fair share of fights when your temper got the best of you.”
“Yeah, and then Dad would praise me for kicking their asses. It wasn’t until I was older, and he was gone, and the way he went that I knew that the temper could be a major problem in my life.”
Mom sighed and pulled back with tears in her eyes. “You didn’t see how hard it was to live with him?” she whispered.
I shook my head. “No. Until he died, and not for some time after, all I saw was my strong, confident daddy. By then, it was so deeply engrained in me, it became too hard to fight it.”
“Surely you saw the fear,” she said. “How I would tiptoe around him when he was angry.”
I shrugged. “When you’re that young, you look for the best. You want your parents to be perfect.” I chuckled. “I sure as hell wish I’d clued in a lot sooner. Maybe this would all be easier now.”
Mom leaned over and put her arms around me. “I should’ve left. I should’ve gotten you and your sisters far away from him before he died. But, Wayne, you’ve found a fated mate. Your father was mine.”
She had the tattoo, but I’d never known they were fated.
Before all this magic in Bluewater caused us to start mating with humans, fated pairings had been pretty rare.
The tattoo would show up for chosen mates, so I’d assumed that was why Mom had it.
“I didn’t know,” I whispered and returned her hug.
“You couldn’t have easily left him, especially not with you both being dragons.
It would’ve made you weak and sick to deny the bond. ”
“I know,” she whispered. “But I still should’ve done it, for you kids.”
“I forgive you,” I said. “But I don’t want the same for my mate. Or if we have children, for them.”
She sniffled. “Neither do I. I don’t want you to deal with either side of it.
Your father was miserable about the way he was.
It was part of the reason I stayed. He knew he had a problem, but he wasn’t anywhere near as able to control it as you can.
” She sighed. “Oh, he got so upset at himself. I think he was angriest at himself, not others.”
“Well, the way Bianca stood up to me over the fight we had, which really wasn’t all that bad, I know she won’t let me get away with any of it. Which means if I want to keep her, I have to change. Now.”
The tears rolled down Mom’s cheeks. “I prayed that by the time you were an adult, it would have slipped away. That you’d outgrow it.” She stroked my jaw. “Wayne, I’m so sorry I failed you in this.”
She broke down, crying hard, and threw her arms around me.
Something inside me snapped, but not in the temper sort of way. More like a wall I didn’t know I had inside crumbled. There wasn’t all that much she could’ve done, outside of leaving completely, which was far easier said than done.
Just having her acknowledge what we went through felt like it was starting a process that just might help me heal. And if I could heal, I could grow past the part of me that was ruled by my temper.
“We’ll fix you,” Mom said between her sobs. “You deserve to be whole and happy.”
I grabbed a box of tissues from the side table, leaning back as Mom tried to pull herself together.
She took a few tissues and nodded gratefully.
“Thanks,” she whispered. When she was more composed, she grabbed my hand.
“Why don’t we go to family therapy?” she asked.
“Maybe then we can all work through this. Your sisters were younger, but they might benefit from it as well.”
I hadn’t thought of that, but I smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.” My therapy sessions had helped me quite a bit. Therapy with my family could only help.