Chapter 9
TAJ
—Falling by Harry Styles
It’s been three weeks since Mike’s friends visited. Ever since they left, it feels like he has gone into hiding.
I mean, I still see him around because he shows up to lectures, answers questions, and goes about his day like normal.
But something has changed. It feels like he has withdrawn, like he has shut a door I didn’t even realise I’d been standing in front of.
And no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get close to him again.
I’ve tried everything I could think of. When I went to his apartment with his stupid Frappuccino one morning, offering to drive him to school again, he just thanked me and got on the bus right in front of me. The very next day, he showed up with a car of his own.
The few times I managed to catch him in his office, he was never alone.
There was always someone there with him, like he planned it that way, and I would stand there for a moment, hoping for an opening that never came.
I understand what he’s trying to do, but I just don’t want to accept it.
Because the truth is, I want to get to know him.
I can’t properly explain why, but there is something about him that stays on my mind.
So, if what I’ve been doing isn’t working, then maybe I need to change my tactics.
I get to class earlier than usual today, the room is still empty when I walk in, and I take a seat near the front, hoping he might arrive before everyone else so I can talk to him. But there’s no such luck. Soon, Luká? walks in and takes the seat beside me.
“Are you avoiding me?” he asks without even saying hello.
I turn to him and lean closer, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “My guy,” I say, “I can never avoid you. I was just sorting some things out.”
He sighs and leans in even more, lowering his voice. “Is it about Professor Sawyer?”
Luká? is a very perceptive person, so I’m not surprised he has picked up on things. He might not know everything that has happened, but I wouldn’t put it past him to guess and not be far off either.
“Yeah, but I’m handling it.” I shrug.
He studies my face for a second. “Have you hooked up with him?”
“Before I knew he was my teacher,” I admit, leaving out what happened in his office.
It’s not that I don’t trust Luká?. I do, but I just want to keep some things to myself.
He leans back in his chair, a wide smile spreading across his face. “I never thought the day would come,” he teases. “Taj wanting to hook up with the same person more than once. It’s a miracle.”
I huff out a small laugh and shake my head. “He’s different,” I say, because that’s the only way I can explain it without sounding completely gone.
Luká? opens his mouth to say something, but the door opens before he gets the chance. Mike— Professor Sawyer—enters the room among the sea of other students rushing in. The air whooshes out of my lungs the moment I look at him.
He’s dressed casually today, in a simple sweater and a pair of jeans.
Somehow it makes whatever is wrong with me even worse.
Because him looking more relaxed and real, does nothing to help me focus.
He moves to the front of the room, turning slightly as he plugs his computer into the projector.
My eyes drop to his arse without permission, appreciating how the jeans are hugging his pert arse just right.
Such a tease. I groan. I have to physically stop myself from staring too long. This is exactly my problem, because even if I mean it that we can just be friends, my body is clearly not getting the message.
“You’re drooling, Taj,” Luká? whispers beside me.
I close my mouth and swallow, then adjust myself as discreetly as possible. Meanwhile, my professor stands at the front, none the wiser about the torture he’s putting me through.
He turns to the board and points at the slide for today’s lecture, then starts explaining it.
I try to be attentive, I really do, but my focus keeps slipping.
Just like the first day, and every day after that, my eyes keep drifting back to him.
To his lips when he speaks, to the way the deep baritone of his voice settles in the room.
And when he turns around again, I find myself looking lower because I can’t help it.
Damn, that is one fine arse.
I drag my attention back to my notebook and force myself to write something down, to make it look like I’m learning, even if I couldn’t remember a thing if my life depended on it.
By the time the lecture ends, my dick is tenting my pants.
He packs up quickly and leaves almost immediately, like his fine arse is on fire.
I’m still putting my notebook back in my bag when Luká? leans in and whispers, “Be nice.”
I frown, not sure what he means, but then I see Angelika walking towards us.
She looks at me warningly, like she’s expecting a reaction, but I just nod at her.
Luká? reaches for her and pulls her in, pressing a quick kiss to her mouth.
Okay, that’s new. Clearly, I’ve missed quite a bit.
I make a mental note to get the full story out of him later.
We leave the room together and start walking to our next class, talking about nothing in particular. We’re almost there when we receive an email that the class is cancelled and our assignment has been uploaded to our portal.
“I’ll see you later,” I tell Luká? and Angelika, already turning back the way we came.
Now that I have time, there’s only one person I can think about finding.
I’m not supposed to be free at this time, so I know showing up to Mike’s office now will disrupt whatever plans he has to keep avoiding me.
That thought alone is enough to make me walk a little faster than usual.
Within a few minutes, I’m standing outside his door. I knock, waiting. Listening.
“Come in.”
I open the door and step inside, but I slow down when I realise he’s not alone. The dean is here, and there’s a look on his face that I don’t like.
Mike looks up at me, and the surprise is clear on his face. “Taj? Don’t you have a class?” he asks, gesturing for me to take a seat beside Professor Horák.
“It got cancelled,” I reply as I sit down, not really acknowledging the dean.
The dean stands almost immediately. “We can discuss later,” he says, and leaves the office.
The door closes behind him, and it’s just the two of us. “You’ve been avoiding me.” I try to keep my tone light despite the relief I feel now that we’re finally alone.
He winces slightly. “You don’t mince words, do you?”
I shrug. “I don’t understand,” I tell him. “I thought we agreed to be friends, and I kept my hands to myself at Nehvizdy. So, what changed?”
He lets out a breath and leans back in his chair. “Oh, Taj,” he sighs, and there’s something tired in his voice. “I know you’ve proven you can keep your hands to yourself. I’m just not sure I can do the same when it comes to you.”
For a moment, I just look at him, feeling a small rush of excitement that I don’t bother hiding. He’s so digging me, and I wonder briefly if he also gets hard when he sees me, or if I haunt his dreams the way he does mine, or if he can’t stop jerking off to me, too.
“The way I see it,” I say, pushing myself off my feet and walking over to him.
He doesn’t stop me. In fact, he shifts in his chair and opens his legs just enough to let me stand between them.
“We like each other,” I continue, keeping my voice steady, “but you’re the one insisting we stay away from each other.
” I watch his face as I speak, taking in every small reaction.
“What if we hang out in public? With other people there as buffers, that should be okay, no? I can use that to show you around, you can relax and stop running from me.”
He thinks it over for a second. I expect him to say no and ask me to leave, but then he nods. “Okay, you can show me around.”
My chest does that stupid, familiar thud that I haven’t managed to get used to even though it keeps happening around him.
I keep my expression neutral, but something in me feels lighter.
I know it won’t be easy, being around him like this and not touching him the way I want to .
. . but after the last three weeks, I’ll take what I can get.
Even if it’s just this. Even if it’s frustrating and not enough. Because it’s still him.
Since I’m not above being a little petty, I lean in closer before I can think better of it. “Who knows?” I whisper. “Maybe you’ll end up begging me to fuck you.”
He’s still sputtering when I saunter out of his office.