5. Poppy
CHAPTER 5
POPPY
I t’s been a week since I sent Colter a voice message, pouring out my heart and apologizing. And I haven’t heard one word from him since.
I’m packing up the food truck, ready for another busy day, and all I can think about is if I’m going to see Colter today. I haven’t been able to get him off my mind, and it feels like I have butterflies in my stomach as I wonder if he’s going to show or not.
“What’s up with you?”
I keep working, unable to look April in the eye. “What do you mean? I’m packing the truck.”
As soon as I finish stacking the plates, plasticware, cups, and napkins, I look up. April has her arms crossed over her chest as she stares back at me. She knows something is up, and she’s not going to give in until I tell her what’s happening. April has worked at the bakery for a long time, and even though she only helps out part-time now, she still knows all the ins and outs of it all. “What?” I ask her, trying to put off the inevitable.
She laughs. “What’s going on?” When I don’t answer her right away, she shakes her head. “You may as well tell me because you know I’m going to find out anyway.”
I lean against the edge of the counter and cross my arms. “Okay, so last week, I had another run-in with Adam.”
She shakes her head. “Dammit. Do you want me to get Matt to talk to him?”
I roll my eyes. April’s husband is the center for the Jasper Eagles football team, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend his time dealing with my ex-boyfriend. “No, I don’t want that. I need to stand up to him on my own.”
She nods her head, but I should have known that April would see right through me. “What else? There’s more to it than that.”
“Well, after I let Adam ruin my morning, I turned around and ruined someone else’s afternoon. I said things I regret, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Her forehead creases. “Did you apologize?”
I shrug my shoulders because even though I did apologize, I still don’t feel like it was enough. “Yeah, I did.”
She nods her head. “Buuuut?”
I shrug again. “I don’t know. He said he forgave me, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that I was rude and offensive.”
A big smile forms on her face. “He?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not like that.”
She points to my face. “If it’s not like that, then why is your face so red?”
I cover my cheeks with my hands and feel the heat radiating off my skin, but I still deny it. “It’s not.”
She laughs. “Okay, well, you did something wrong, you apologized, and he forgave you. Have you seen him since?”
I shake my head.
“Well, when will you see him again?”
I put my hand to my stomach and breathe in. “I don’t know.”
She nods. “Well, I guess you let fate handle it.”
“Fate,” I repeat.
She smiles. “Yep. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”
I’m about to correct her and explain that it’s not like that. It’s not like anything is going on between Colter and me, but before I can, Teresa walks up to the truck carrying trays of pastries. “Morning,” she grumbles.
April and I look at each other and laugh. We all know not to talk to Teresa until she’s had her morning coffee. I take the trays from her and gesture to the coffee in the sterno that I brought out earlier. “Drink up.”
She moans as she drinks the coffee, and both April and I laugh. The rest of the packing is done in silence, and it’s not long before Teresa and I are on the road to set up at the Heroes Rehab Center.
The whole time we’re setting up, I’m looking for Colter. Midmorning, Brooklyn shows up, and we chat for a while. I almost ask her about Colter. I’m sure she knows who he is since he works for her husband, but in the end, I decide not to. I don’t want it to get back to Colter that I’m talking about him.
By midafternoon, we’re slowing down, and when there’s only another two hours left, I finally realize that he’s not coming. If he wanted to see me, he would be here by now.
When Abby shows up, I try not to let her know how disappointed I am. “Hey,” I say timidly. Even though our conversation ended okay the last time, I’m still unsure how she is going to react today.
She picks at her chocolate croissant and moans when she takes a bite. “This is so good.”
I sit down across from her at the picnic table.
She leans forward after she swallows. “So?”
I don’t have to ask, because I can guess what she wants to know. “I texted him and sent him a voice message. I apologized. A few times actually.”
She nods. “And?”
I shrug, trying to act like it doesn’t bother me when in fact it’s all I’ve been able to think about. “He texted me back that he forgave me.”
She nods, expecting more, and I shake my head. “That’s it.”
“Darn it,” she exclaims. “I thought for sure…”
She doesn’t finish, so I have to ask. “You thought what?”
She shrugs. “Never mind. I’m sorry, Poppy.”
I stand up. I don’t know why I’m so bothered by all this. I guess I was hoping to at least talk face to face with him, but that’s obviously not going to happen. “I asked him to come see me today, but I haven’t seen him. I’m sure he wants to forget he ever met me.”
She reaches for me to stop me from walking away. “Poppy, don’t beat yourself up. You apologized. That’s all you can do.”
I force a smile onto my face. I know she’s right, but it still doesn’t feel good. “I know. I better get back to work.”
She nods. “See you.”
I walk back to the truck and nudge Teresa. “Go take a break.”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
“Yeah, we’re through the rush. Go ahead.”
She grabs her phone and her earbuds out of her purse. “I’m at a good spot in my audiobook, so I’m going to go for a walk. I’ll be back.”
I laugh. “Take your time.”
I straighten up the inside of the truck, restocking a few things. I keep checking the window, expecting customers, but it’s died down a bit now. I walk outside of the truck to restock out there when I see Colter sitting at the table with Abby. Instantly, my heart starts to race, and I come to a halt, staring at the man with a beard and shaggy brown hair. He looks up at me but quickly looks away.
I try to go about my business, but I know what I need to do.
I walk back into the truck and put a chocolate croissant and a slice of chocolate cake onto a plate and then walk back out of the truck. Abby is gone, but Colter remains in his seat, and even though he has his sunglasses on, I just know he’s looking at me.
It’s like I can feel his gaze.
I suck in a breath, and even though he’s only a few feet away, it feels like it takes me forever to get to where he is.
I set the plate down in front of him. “Can I sit down?”
He’s tense, his back ramrod straight, but he nods his head.
I sit down across from him. “I’m sorry?—”
He holds up a hand to stop me and then lets it rest on the table between us. “You d…don’t have t…to…”
His voice trails off, and I can see that he’s about to bolt. I don’t know why I do it, but it’s like I can’t stop myself. I reach for him, putting my hand on top of his. I look down and can’t help but notice the difference in our hands. His are darker, rougher, worn. Mine are pale in comparison and softer. I lift my hand slightly and apologize.
It’s still hovering, and he shakes his head, turns his hand over, and grips my hand in his. He clears his throat, and I wish I could see his eyes when he confesses. “I have a TBI.”
I nod slowly. “Abby told me.”
He speaks slowly. “Why did you hold my hand?”
I look at our hands and the way he has mine gripped with his, I could easily argue that he’s holding mine, but I know what he’s asking. “After my talk with Abby, I did some research, and I read that touch helps.”
“Touch?” he croaks.
I nod, listing off some of the things I can remember. “Yeah, it’s supposed to help relieve stress, helps regulate emotions, promotes security and safety…”
He squeezes my hand, and I smile. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”
“I like to hear you talk.”
He sounds more assured when he says it, and I lean toward him. “I need to explain.”
He’s shaking his head because it’s obvious he doesn’t want to hear me apologize again, but I need to make him understand. All I can do is replay the things I said to him, and I need to make it right. “I know you forgave me, but I need to explain. I don’t usually just jump down the throats of people I don’t know.”
“It’s fine,” he says.
I put my other hand on his arm. “Last week, when we met, I had a really rough morning. A man, uh, gave me some trouble at a location that morning, and I let it carry over with me the rest of the day. I saw you watching me, and I thought you were giving me dirty looks. I just snapped and all the things uh, that man said to me, I said to you.”
His forehead creases, and I know he’s trying to recall everything I said to him. He lifts his glasses from his face and puts them on the top of his head. “Are you saying that some man said those things about you, called you names?”
His speech is fragmented, but his voice is thick with emotion. It’s obvious he’s angry, and I don’t want to upset him. “It’s fine.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not fine.”
I wave him off. I wasn’t trying to upset him or have him come to my rescue. I just wanted him to understand.