Chapter 18
“Can we get to the security plan, please?” I beg Noah and Owen, who stand facing each other and look as though they might throw punches.
Noah finally breaks his stare and turns to me with a wicked smile. “Of course, love.”
I swear Owen flinches, but I ignore him. “You’ll have someone assigned to Owen at all times, correct?”
“Yes. A personal guard will shadow him. I will have another guard stationed at the front entrance and the entrance to his office. The last guard will be wherever he’s needed.”
I nod. That’s better than I expected. I turn to Owen, who still looks furious. “Is that ok?”
When he looks at me, his gaze softens a bit. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“No security for you?”
I almost laugh. “They aren’t after me.”
“They might be now.”
Noah raises a brow. I didn’t tell him I was involved in the run-in yesterday.
I shake my head. “As I said before, I can take care of myself.”
Owen glares at me, but Noah chimes in. “I’d be happy to watch over you, Miss Riley.”
I want to wipe the smirk off his face but hold back. Once again, Owen looks as though he wants to punch Noah. I don’t blame him this time.
I grit my teeth. “No, thank you, Noah. I am perfectly fine on my own.”
Noah winks at me conspiratorially, but Owen doesn’t understand the meaning behind it and only takes it as more flirtation. Not that it isn’t, but he doesn’t know Noah like I do.
“Is that all?” I ask Noah, trying to push him out the door.
“As long as the plan is satisfactory?” He addresses the question to Owen.
Owen clenches his teeth but nods.
“Excellent. We’ll have the contract drawn up, and the security team will be in place first thing tomorrow.”
“Great. Thanks,” I say, now physically pushing him out the door.
Noah turns at the last minute and bends to whisper in my ear. “That one has it bad. I’m pretty sure he wants to kill me.”
“You didn’t make it easy for him,” I reply through clenched teeth.
He chuckles. “See you tomorrow, love.”
Noah finally turns and walks away. I shut the door and turn to find Owen watching me. I swear there is fire in his eyes.
“Relax. Noah is harmless.”
“You know him?”
“Yes. He worked security at some of the Formula 1 races.”
Oddly enough, that isn’t a lie. He did work security for Formula 1 before his brief stint with the CIA.
Owen nods and returns to his desk. His silence since this morning has me worried and slightly annoyed. It puts me on edge, and by the time 5 pm comes around and he’s still silent, I’m practically sprinting out of the office.
“Miss Riley,” he says before I reach the door. His voice is low and gruff.
Turning slowly, I find him leaning against his desk, arms crossed.
“I’d feel better if you weren’t alone tonight. Not until security is in place.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m meeting Jax. He’ll make sure I get home safe.”
He studies me for far longer than is comfortable. I shift on my feet.
“Fine,” he snips.
I want to comment on his shortness. I want to comment on his mood. I want to know what the hell happened since this morning, but I say nothing. Instead, I leave, and a crawling feeling slithers down my spine.
The smile Jax gives me when I enter the bar instantly has the tension melting away, and when he wraps me in a hug, I melt in seconds, letting out a long breath.
He pulls back and looks at me. “Something’s happened.”
Slumping as if those two simple words took an invisible weight from my shoulders, I take off my coat and sit next to him at the bar.
He doesn’t join me right away, waiting for an answer.
“Just work,” I reply.
He tilts his head to the side, giving me a knowing smile.
“Work isn’t what I expected,” I continue.
Jax actually snorts and sits down. “Such as you didn’t mean to fall for your boss?”
I scoff. “That’s not what I mean at all, actually.”
Jax laughs and orders us both a glass of wine. We take a few sips before he speaks again. “I know you probably can’t say much about work, but I’m here if you need me. Always.”
Reaching over, I take his hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “Thank you. Some complications have me questioning pretty much my whole life.”
“Existential crisis?” His eyes flash with amusement.
I nod miserably. “What would you do if you were faced with an impossible decision?”
Jax cocks his head to the side. “You’ll have to give me more information than that.”
I don’t know how to ask without revealing too much, but I desperately need a friend right now. “My heart and head are at war. The line between right and wrong seems to be completely gone, and I have no idea what to do about it.”
I don’t mean for the tears to come, but they rush to the surface and threaten to fall, stinging my eyes.
Jax squeezes my hand. “I may not be the best person to ask, but I’ve always found that following my heart has never led me astray.”
I stare at him for a long moment. “And if that decision leads to your own downfall?”
He laughs. “Then you have to ask yourself if it’s worth the fall.”
I don’t know how to reply, so I take another sip of wine and wipe at my teary eyes.
“I know I don’t know anything about your situation, but I do know you.” My gaze snaps to his as he continues, “I know that you have always fought for what was right and for those who couldn’t fight for themselves. But when have you ever fought for yourself?”
I blink, a tear finally escaping down my cheek. Jax reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and cups my cheek with his hand. “I love you, Nova. You’ve been through hell and back, and I think you deserve a little peace. A little happiness.”
I clear my throat, my voice shaky. “Even if that happiness is so brief it feels like a blink in a whole lifetime?”
Jax nods. “Even so.”
I try to laugh, but it comes out a bit like a sob. “You’ve always been a softy.”
Jax smiles. “And you’ve always been the tough one.”
I’m not so sure I want to be the tough one anymore.
Jax watches me for a few moments, and I take another sip. “If this is about Owen, I want you to know that Evan and I both think he’s a really great guy.”
“He is.” And I mean it. The only problem is, I don’t know how to come to terms with the murders he’s accused of. Even if I could live with it, how would I even begin to get him out of it?
Jax and I drop the subject, and the night turns into laughs instead of tears. The tension around my heart, that I didn’t realize was there, slowly melts. I lay in bed that night and hope that means I’ll have a peaceful sleep.
I drift in and out of consciousness. I hear Gray on the phone, somewhere to the left of me. It’s pitch black, and I have no idea where we are, but his voice reassures me that I’ll be fine.
“She’s alive. She’ll likely survive.”
“We’re in a safe location. CIA will be here in a few hours.”
My brain registers his words, but I can’t seem to stay awake, and I drift off, his voice getting lost in the dark….
I wake with a start and vaguely remember that conversation, but it’s still fuzzy. At least the dream wasn’t a nightmare, though my body is acting like it was. I’m drenched in sweat as I reach for the lamp and switch on the light.
I sit up, instinctively grabbing my phone.
4 am. Again.
I groan.
There are a few text messages from Owen, and my fingers pause and hover over the notification. I’m afraid to open it, and I don’t know why.
I close my eyes for a moment before pressing on the message.
Owen: You still coming in before work?
Owen: I feel like I may have scared you off yesterday.
Owen: You don’t have to come early. I just wanted you to know that you can if you want to.
Owen: I’m sorry.
I sigh and type back.
Nova: I’ll be there.
I pause. Not sure it’s a good idea anymore.
I hit send.
In the shower, I let my thoughts and feelings wash down the drain. But the shower doesn’t really solve anything.
Entering, I’m instantly assaulted by the scent of alcohol. My eyes snap to the bar that’s covered in open bottles of all kinds. A half full glass sits precariously on the edge of the counter.
Owen gazes at me and grimaces when my eyes meet his.
“I hope for your sake, there isn’t a naked woman in the bathroom,” I growl, throwing my bag on my desk chair.
“No. Just me.”
The bar has only one used glass, so I know he’s telling the truth.
“You could have gone out with Jax and me. You didn’t need to drink alone,” I say, still angrier than I should be. He’s a grown ass man. If he wants to drink alone, then why would I care? And yet, I do.
“You needed your friend,” he says.
Though he’s right, I still feel like his drinking is somehow my fault. If I’d been here, he wouldn’t have done it.
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I know it’s not my fault. “Can you even stay on your feet?”
He nods. “I didn’t drink as much as you think I did. I’m not drunk.”
I narrow my eyes, assessing him. His eye is now officially black, but all that does is bring out the green more. He is dressed as he usually is in the morning—jogger sweats and no shirt, and he’s standing without assistance and not swaying.
Taking a few steps closer to him, I tilt my head to look into his eyes. His mouth twitches up, revealing the dimple, when he realizes what I’m doing.
I step back once I’m satisfied. “Your eyes aren’t dilated, and you barely smell of alcohol, so I guess I believe you.”
He laughs but steps aside and motions for the gym floor.
I wrap my knuckles and remove my sweatshirt, acutely aware of his eyes as they land on my wound.
“It’s fine,” I snap before he has a chance to ask. “I can barely feel it.”
“It looks angry.”
I look up from the task of wrapping my knuckles to meet his eyes. “Have you seen your face?”
Owen laughs, and I find myself smiling despite the pit in my stomach.
“There she is,” he says.
My smile fades. I have no idea what to make of that.
“Let’s go,” I say, raising my fists to frame my face.
Owen nods and does the same.
We spend the next fifteen minutes sharing hits. He’s getting better, but he’s still not good enough.