Chapter 2 #2
How long did it take to fix a busted faucet? A couple of millennia? Because that was how long it felt like it had been while Cassidy and I stared awkwardly at anything but each other and ate sugar cookies.
Finally the weight of the silence got to be crushing enough that I couldn’t stand it, so I said the first thing I could think of. “So how’s college? Joh—Wilder said you’re studying nursing?”
She glanced up at me then, her eyes widening, and I knew she’d noticed the slip. But she was good enough not to mention it. “Yeah, nursing.”
“That’s great,” I said, internally cringing at how cheerful I sounded. And then, because I really didn’t want to be an asshole and I actually did want to be friends with the most important woman in Johnny’s life, I said, “And how are you finding it?”
“It’s going well,” she said, with almost as much false cheer in her voice as me.
And I would have believed it, except her mouth tightened for just a second and she got a pinched look I was intimately familiar with.
It was the same face Gracie pulled whenever she had to eat green beans, and it clearly said she was going to eat them and she wasn’t going to complain out loud, but she wasn’t happy about it.
Huh.
And I could have said nothing, but I’d heard about the Moores—they’d heard about me too, and they weren’t fans—and I had the feeling that nobody else was going to ask the question I was about to ask. “Okay,” I said, “but how are you finding it really?”
Her eyes widened even farther, like she couldn’t believe I’d called her on her bullshit—which made two of us, I guessed—and then she exclaimed, “I hate it!”
We both sat with that for a moment.
“Oh god,” she said, slapping a hand over her mouth.
Then she made the face that Gracie made about Brussel sprouts and I knew she had more to spill.
“My mom was a nurse, so she wanted me to be one too. And everyone says that nursing is a great career, and it is, and it’s like job security and blah blah blah, but I really, really hate it!
Too many gross fluids come out of human bodies, you know? ”
“I work with little kids, so yeah.”
She snorted. “But I can’t quit. I made such a big deal out of getting a scholarship, and Wilder’s rearranged his entire life so I can study.
And I’m already five years older than most people starting college, so if I switch majors, it means he has to take care of Gracie for even longer.
And that’s not fair on him, or on Gracie.
I’m supposed to have my BSN in four years. I can’t start over!”
I sat for a moment, digesting what she’d told me. I also digested another sugar cookie and slid the plate closer to Cassidy. Then I asked, “Suppose you could start over. What would you choose?”
Cassidy bit her bottom lip. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t change. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Hypothetically, though,” I urged her.
“I like the science stuff,” she said. “Maybe I’d keep doing that, but also look at something in education? Like, I don’t know, being a science teacher at a school?” She hunched over. “It’s dumb.”
“Science teachers rock,” I said, “though not as much as kindergarten teachers, obviously.”
She snorted again, and it sounded more like a laugh this time.
“One of my best friends at work, Dana, started out studying business and then switched to teaching,” I said. “So it can be done. I could get her to give you a call?”
“I can’t change majors, though.”
“Sure,” I said. “But listen for a second, okay? Why not?”
“What?” She wrinkled her nose, looking so much like Gracie that it broke my heart she was this upset.
“Why can’t you change majors? You have the whole rest of your life in front of you, and that’s a really long time to be stuck doing a job you don’t love. And let’s be real, do you really want to be that nurse, the one who doesn’t want to be there?”
“No,” she said in a small voice and reached out to snag another cookie.
“So why not see if you can’t transfer some of your course credits? It can’t hurt to ask, right?”
“I told Wilder this was a four-year degree,” she said. “I don’t want to disappoint him by not finishing. And I know it’s been harder on him with Gracie since I’ve been away. Like, financially.”
“Yeah,” I said. “And things are pretty tight now he’s changed his job too.
But we’re—I mean, he’s managing. And he loves having Gracie.
Also, I don’t know if he’s told you this, but he’s super proud of what you’re doing and the example you’re setting for Gracie.
And I don’t think changing your major would change that, not for anything. ”
Cassidy’s mouth wavered, and she blinked rapidly and wiped at her eyes. “I just—I just really don’t want to be a nurse, Avery.”
And then she was crying.
I’d made Gracie’s mom cry.
That had not been on my To Do list.
Clean the house. Bake some cookies. Put up more decorations. Make Cassidy bawl.
Nope, not on the list at all.
“Hey,” I said. “Come here for a second.”
I stood up and held out my hand. She let me pull her to her feet, and I hugged her.
Which was weird, probably, since we’d only just met.
But she was also having a breakdown in my living room, and I was a kindergarten teacher.
Hugging to deal with breakdowns was my default—although usually the breakdowns were over lost shoes, not career crises.
And there was nobody else here, so what else was I supposed to do?
Cassidy sniffled against my shoulder. “Shit. I’m a mess. I’m so sorry. You’re being so nice.”
I released her. “Pfft. You think you messed up? I’m just trying to make a good impression, and I’ve made you cry instead.”
Cassidy blinked and let out a wet laugh. “You’re trying to make a good impression? I’ve been freaking out the whole drive back from Maryland, terrified you won’t like me.”
“You were freaking out? Johnny found me scrubbing the baseboards at five in the morning!”
She smiled.
“What?”
“You call him Johnny.”
I could feel the heat creeping up my neck. “Yeah. Just when it’s us, though.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she said and drew in a deep breath. “I need to wash my face.”
“Bathroom’s through there,” I said, pointing. On impulse I added, “One of my parents gave me a bottle of wine for Christmas. Would you like some? Because I would really like some. It’s probably terrible, but it’s free.”
She laughed, still sounding a little shaky. “I would love some, thank you.”
I poured two glasses while she was in the bathroom, took a sip to check I wasn’t feeding her straight vinegar, and made a note to thank Malcolm’s mom, because it was actually delicious.
We talked some more and both laughed at how we’d been trying so hard to make a good impression on each other that we’d turned into a pair of awkward turtles instead.
We ate all the sugar cookies and speculated about the contents of the wrapped presents under the tree.
I gave Cassidy Dana’s number and she promised she’d call her.
Then we talked about Gracie and what an incredible kid she was.
And, of course, we talked about Johnny and how he was a treasure who must be protected at all costs.
Okay, that last one was mainly me, but Cassidy obviously agreed.
Otherwise why was she still one of his best friends?
So, how long did it take to fix a busted faucet?
Long enough that by the time Johnny and Gracie got back, the wine was gone, and Cassidy and I were both tipsy as hell and headed happily toward drunk.