10. Lauren
CHAPTER 10
LAUREN
B ecause Wesley had the morning off, Lauren’s mom had asked Lauren to spend the day with her. She’d said it was because they needed a mother-daughter bonding day, but Lauren knew it was probably just so they could share security.
The fact that her mom had gotten so paranoid was more than a little troubling, but Lauren didn’t have the first clue what to do about it. She didn’t even know whether it was warranted. Was her mom just overestimating the danger in her new position, or was she right? Lauren had no idea, but she went along because that was what she always did and that was what she knew.
They got coffee and croissants in the morning at a little place on the water. Lauren had no idea what to say to her mom, so she just spread jam on her croissant extra slowly. Finally, she came out and said, “What exactly are we doing today?”
Her mom smiled. “I was thinking we could do some shopping and brunch.”
“But nothing in the evening?” Lauren asked.
“Well…” Her mom shrugged.
“Of course,” Lauren said bitterly. She had already guessed the answer. Wesley was back on the clock this evening, so her mom would be free of her. “I knew this was really about security.”
Anne glared across the table at her daughter. “We could do without the attitude, Lauren. It’s childish”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “If you don’t want me to act like a child, then stop treating me like one.”
“Giving you extra security is not treating you like a child.”
“No, it’s treating me like some kind of asset.”
Anne slapped a hand on the table. “It’s treating you like a person I love and care about, Lauren, someone whose safety matters to me. Why are you so negative? I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter, and you’re already deciding I have ulterior motives.”
She looked so sad when she said that, Lauren actually felt a little bad about having made assumptions. What if she was wrong? What if this really was meant to be a mother-daughter bonding day, and Lauren was out here just ruining it?
Lauren collected her patience and took her last sip of coffee. “Okay, I see your point. I’m sorry, Mom. It’s just been… a stressful week. I don’t know.”
Anne reached across the table to pat her hand. “I understand,” she said. “Far be it from me to deny the effect high stress can have on a person. Come on, Lauren. Let’s do some retail therapy, huh? It’s all on me.”
Lauren stood and followed her mom to the car. Maybe the day would be good for both of them, after all — no matter what had really prompted it.
They went to her mom’s favorite department store, a swanky place Lauren never had enough cash for. Anne picked out several formal outfits for her daughter to try on. It did occur to Lauren that, once again, the nature of their outing revolved around Anne Bartlett and her needs. The outfits were ones she wanted her daughter to wear to political events in the future. Everything was always about how their family looked to the outside world, and that hurt Lauren over and over again, however hard she tried to not take it personally. It really did feel like she was an object for her mom to dress up and display. But Lauren tried to put the feeling aside and just enjoy the time she got to spend with her mom.
“Oh, that one looks just perfect on you!” Anne exclaimed when Lauren came out of the dressing room wearing a cream-colored dress she had picked out for her. “Maybe too light for a dinner, but wouldn’t it just shine at a speaking event?” She smiled broadly and leaned in to kiss her daughter. “You look just like an angel,” she whispered. “That’s what I’ve always said.”
“Thanks, Mom.” The dress looked like nothing Lauren would be caught dead wearing in her worst nightmares, but what could she do? It was chosen by her mom, bought by her mom, and worn as part of the image her mom wanted to portray to the rest of the world. Lauren was an important part of that image. “I look forward to wearing it,” she lied.
They went to several more department stores, and Lauren tried on several more outfits chosen for her by her mom. The discussion generally focused on Anne Bartlett’s plans for the future, how she’d like her daughter to contribute to those plans.
Lauren talked herself into giving her mom the benefit of the doubt. For example, maybe focusing on her own career was the only way Anne knew to connect with other people. Maybe that was why she wanted Lauren involved so badly. What if this was the only way she knew how to bond? Anne’s life hadn’t been easy after Lauren’s father left, that was no secret. And while Lauren was busy going through her teenage rebellion, Anne had been struggling alone.
Like Lauren with acting, maybe Anne’s political career was just how she coped. And maybe she was still just coping. So, Lauren sincerely thanked her mother for every piece she purchased, every outfit she picked out — not because she liked the outfits, but because she recognized her mom’s sincere attempts to bond.
After shopping, they went out to lunch at a little place on the water. Her mom got a good seat by the window despite not having reservations, which was honestly pretty typical. They each ordered a light cocktail to start.
The place wasn’t new to Lauren — it was one of her mom’s favorite places to meet people for lunch, partly because of how exclusive it was. No one really bothered her there, even if they did recognize her. The small, round tables had plenty of space between them as well as decorative partitions, so there was also the level of privacy her mom preferred.
“For the time of year, it’s been a really nice day, don’t you think?” her mom began. “The sun’s out, at least.”
“It is nice,” Lauren agreed. “But it’s also just the weather. I mean, is that really what you wanted to talk about today?”
Anne looked up, clearly shocked that her daughter was being so outspoken. “What do you mean?”
Lauren took a deep breath and tried to limit her own aggression. She reminded herself to give her mother the benefit of the doubt. “I mean, aren’t we supposed to be bonding? So we should be talking about something with a little more substance. Like, for example, how have you been since you won the election? Have you had any time to relax?”
That was apparently the right choice for a topic because Anne smiled when she answered. “I’ve been stressed, but surviving. Thanks for asking. That sounds flippant but I mean it.” She leaned in. “Thank you very much for asking.”
“Are you more stressed than when you were campaigning?”
Anne leaned back in her chair and thought about it. “Yeah, I am, actually. Campaigning is like a whirlwind. Everything happens so fast, and you’re just exhausted all the time. You don’t really have time to be stressed. At least, I didn’t.” She smiled and leaned in. “But, Lauren, I’ve never held a position this high before, and I’ve never made the kind of enemies I apparently have as a result of this specific election. That’s why I’ve upped our security. How’s that going by the way?”
Their server brought the first course, which for Lauren was creamy, seasonal soup, and she tucked into it right away. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. After a minute she realized she hadn’t answered her mom’s question. “Oh, it’s going well,” she finally said. “Better than it started, anyway. I was a little iffy on the choice of bodyguard at first, but he’s growing on me. He’s a little invasive, but he really does care, and I’d rather have that than someone who doesn’t.”
“That’s what I thought when I chose him,” Anne said, her expression betraying her quickly improving mood. “I thought, someone who has a lot of experience in defense but was new on this specific job. He’d have the know-how from his military experience, and the motivation would come from his being relatively new to the job.”
“Well, a couple of weeks ago, I would have argued with you about it, but now I think you were right on.” She slurped another spoonful of soup and let her mind wander to Wesley. One thing that had become painfully obvious in this morning spent with her mother. She missed him. Spending time with him had become something Lauren looked forward to, and the fact that he wasn’t here for any of this made her feel disappointed. If he’d been here, they would both go back to her place afterwards and joke about everything that happened, all the self-interested conversations Anne had tried to start. It would have softened the experience to be able to get a little of her frustration out with someone she trusted.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” Anne said. “I’ve been a little worried about how you’ve been dealing with things the last few days. You’ve gone too quiet.”
“Oh, you know…” Lauren waved her spoon around to dismiss her mom’s concern. “I’ve just been kind of down. I’ll get over it eventually. You know me.” She tried to smile.
“I do,” her mom said. “Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve always bounced back. Give it a few months, and you’ll be back in the saddle again for sure. There are more auditions on the horizon, kid.”
Two minutes before everything sank in, Lauren was actually feeling hopeful about her relationship with her mom. Then she realized… All day, she had not once mentioned the audition. She had intentionally not mentioned it because she didn’t want to get yet another back-in-the-saddle speech from her mom. She dropped her spoon in her bowl and narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t say anything about an audition, Mom.”
That was when Anne started to flounder, and Lauren noticed it. Had she come up with a sincere response, Lauren might not have given it a second thought. But she could see the way her mom’s face went red for just a second, how she glanced away and avoided eye contact. And that was how Lauren knew, her mom had something to do with her not getting the part. The rejection had come up so suddenly, and the person who had told her the part was as good as hers had been so certain. Some outside force would have had to change something, had some kind of effect. And what was Anne Bartlett if not an outside force?
All the muscles in Lauren’s body tensed when she shot the accusation at her mom. “You did it, didn’t you?”
“Did what, Lauren?” Her mom’s voice took on that harsh tone she got whenever Lauren was in trouble.
“You killed my chance,” Lauren said. “I never told you I didn’t get the part. I never told you, but you knew! How did you know?”
Anne put on a sly smile. “Don’t underestimate a mother’s intuition, honey.” She was almost as good an actress as Lauren, but when you’ve lived with someone your entire life, it becomes easier and easier to see right through them.
“Bullshit,” Lauren spat back.
“Language, honey.” Her mom looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. “We’re in public.”
Lauren’s jaw dropped when she realized why she was probably right. “And that’s it, isn’t it? The reason. Because I’d be doing something, in public, that you disapproved of.”
Anne crossed her arms and put up her walls. “Disapproval has nothing to do with it. Whether you like it or not, you are part of the family brand.”
“The family brand ?” Lauren was seconds from throwing her drink at her mom.
“Yes.” Anne clenched her jaw and seemed to second guess herself for a moment. But in the end, she apparently decided to double down. “Your actions have consequences for the whole family, whether you like it or not.”
“And by whole family , you just mean you, right?”
“Don’t start, Lauren.”
“No, you’re right.” Lauren could feel her face turning bright red. She wanted to scream at her mom for ruining everything, for meddling in her life. “I shouldn’t start.” She collected her purse and coat. “Because I’m done already, Mom. I’m done with you.” And she walked out without another word.