Chapter 58
Katie
“What?”
I waited until we were in the kitchen to ask the question that was hanging around unspoken. My mum and my sister were all shooting me long looks throughout dinner, ensuring that Dad’s amazing steak tasted like nothing in my mouth. Mum started scraping the plates clean and Mandie filled the sink with water, but I stepped forward.
“You’ve obviously got something to say.”
Mum straightened up and shot me a long look. “The guys seem lovely. Rhett is a quiet one, but he got your father rabbiting on about the differences between LPG gas and smoking meat with wood, so he’s happy. Rhys seems sweet and is very focussed on you.”
“But…”
I waved a hand impatiently, which was rude, but right now it felt like I was standing before an executioner with no means to get away. The axe was going to fall on my bare neck and I wanted the process done with.
“But right now those guys are on their best behaviour,” Mandie said, turning around to face me. The sound of the water filling the sink was setting my teeth on edge, my head pounding in time. “This is as good as it gets.”
Which was amazing, I wanted to say. Rhys and Garrett teasing me as I tried to watch TV, then finishing the night sleeping in Rhett’s arms. I couldn’t have planned a more perfect evening if I tried, and it was clear that neither member of my family could see that.
“Which is pretty damn good,” I snapped. A pause and I shook my head, wanting to control my temper. I hadn’t wanted to bring the guys here yet. To my mind, it was all early days, but now I realised it was more than that. It wasn’t just the guys who were being judged. I was too. “They are so sweet. We have fun, go out and do cool stuff, or stay in and they wait on me hand and foot. Rhys faced down some dickhead who was hassling me at the gym, then rescinded the guy’s membership. Rhett took me hours out of town just to go to a brewery with cute dogs. Garrett is amazing with Bronson.” The dog wagged his tail at the sound of his name. “He’s an incredible cook. We went to yoga…”
My voice trailed away as the two of them heard each one of my pieces of evidence impassively, like I was the accused and they were the judges hearing my case.
“So Garrett was late. It’s not a big deal. He was literally saving people’s lives.”
“No one is criticising Garrett for being stuck in the emergency department, Katie.” Mum’s hand rubbed my arm. “Anyone can see he’s dedicated to what he does.”
“You’re doing it again.” If Mum was good cop, Mandie was the bad one. She stared me down, willing me to see it. “Accepting people’s scraps like it’s some kind of banquet.”
“That’s not fair,” I replied.
“New year, new you? No, you’re reverting back to the same damn patterns.”
“Mandie…” Mum growled.
“No, it's gotta be said.” Mandie crossed her arms. “When’s the last time you did a shift at the shelter?”
“Well, I?—”
I didn’t get to reply, because that just got in the way of her making her point.
“You’ve stopped going to the gym. You’re doing the same thing you always do. Your life is always uprooted, changed to fit around his, or in this case, theirs. Firies have to fight fires. Nurses have to help people heal.”
“You’ve finally stopped calling him a murse.” I tried to smile, but they both just stood there, perfectly impassive. “Look, they were up front with me from the start. The whole polyam thing? That’s their way of dealing with the situation.” I watched them shift and it was like the axe was being drawn back, leaving me powerless to do anything other than stare up at the sharp blade. “With the way their jobs work, they can’t commit to being anyone’s boyfriend full time.”
“Katie…” Mum’s hands went to my shoulders, giving them a squeeze, as that would help get me through this.
“But between the three of them, they’ll work it out so I’m never left in the lurch. Someone will always be there to take me out, be with me. It might not be the person I made plans with, but who cares, right? They treat me so much better than Dave ever did.”
“Baby.”
Mum wrapped her arms around me and she held me tight, but rather than being comforting, I felt like I was suffocating.
“Katie, I don’t know why the fuck it always ends up this way. You are smart, so much smarter than me.” Mandie couldn’t have hurt me more if she grabbed a knife from the sink and stabbed it into my back. “You’re way more organised, caring, sweet, funny.”
“Thanks, I guess?”
My reply was muffled by Mum’s shoulder.
“But I didn’t bring my daughter up to be satisfied for one third of a person.” Mum’s tone made it seem like she was pulling her punches, but she wasn’t. “Not when she deserves someone who’s prepared to give her their whole heart, the way she always does when she cares about them.”
I couldn’t bear this for one more second. We’d come here in good faith, and somehow this turned into an intervention? My hands went to Mum’s shoulders and I pushed myself free, my face feeling red raw as I sucked in a breath.
“I…” This was where I came up with a snappy retort, where I made clear how wrong they were. “I…” My throat worked, words forming and then fading, unspoken. “I…” My eyes shifted sideways, grateful to stare at anything but them, only to land on Mum’s apple pie. Golden crust, dusted with sugar, the sweet scent of stewed apples had my guts roiling. My mouth filled with saliva, making clear what I had to do. “I need to go.”
Without thinking about the guys for a second, I snatched my keys off the side table and then strode towards the front door. My name echoed throughout the house, but I didn’t let their shouts stop me. Bronson kept pace, his doggy smile the only bright point. I should’ve gone back to the guys, slid into the space between Rhys and Garrett, and rescued them from whatever inquisition Dad was putting them through.
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t take a full breath until I was walking down the driveway, so I sucked them in noisily. It was like I’d finally gone running on the treadmill. My chest was tight, my heart pounding.
But why?
My family was protective. They’d grilled every guy that I brought around and they would again. Their love for me made clear that they wouldn’t just welcome them with open arms. There was a willingness to get to know any guy in my life, to judge him on his merits, but if he didn’t meet their perilously high standards, they’d stay polite, but I’d know that they didn’t think he was good enough for me. With Dave, that made sense. With any of the other guys I’d dated. I opened my car door and Bronson scrambled in, sitting in the passenger side seat, shooting me a doggy grin. But this time…
This time I finally, finally thought I’d found guys that were good enough to earn their approval.
My hands wrapped around the steering wheel, and that’s when I heard the sound of the front door opening. I shoved the keys in the ignition, turning on the engine, because I needed to get the fuck away. Mum and Mandie had made their point, but I was done talking about it. There was no way to process it, not when my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool. Everything was speeding up and slowing down at the same time, which meant I probably shouldn’t have been driving. Perhaps that’s why Rhys appeared by my window.
“Katie?” He took me, the car, Bronson, then my shaking hands in before yanking the back door open. “Shove over, bro,” he told the dog when he came to sit in the middle and stared through the gap, Bronson desperately trying to lick his face. “What’s up? Did that not go well? Everyone seemed cool. A lot cooler than the last girl’s parents we met. Let's just say they weren’t as progressive…”
As his voice trailed away, I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw his eyes staring back. That look of concern, it broke something in me, smashing it to pieces when his hand went to the back of my neck. Small, soothing strokes, it was the same kind of thing I’d use when one of the animals was distressed. Turns out it was effective, because with each caress, the tears were summoned forward.
“I need to go.” That was torn from me. “I need to get the fuck away from here. Bronson?—”
“Move over, boy.” Rhys was out of the backseat and waving the dog into it before opening my door for me. “I’ll get you out of here, babe. We don’t have to spend a second more in this house, not if you don’t want to, but I’m gonna drive and you.” He produced a clean handkerchief with a flourish. “Are going to dry your eyes and tell me what the hell went down in the kitchen.”
I blinked up at him, catching the way the streetlight turned his sandy hair to white blond and found myself smiling despite the tears.
“You had me at move over.”