3. Rosalina

3

Rosalina

H undreds of beastly eyes stare at me. And only half of them are mounted on the wall.

The Poussin Hunting Lodge is packed. How many people did Lucas invite? It’s not just dinner with me; he’s thrown a party for the whole town.

My oversized scarf, white shirt, and black leggings are underdressed compared to everyone’s fancy attire. I awkwardly try to disappear into the crowd. Warmth from the large stone fireplace thaws my cold cheeks. The faint whiff of liquor and tobacco mixes with the tables full of steaming meat and pumpkin pie.

Lucas’s family has owned the Hunting Lodge for generations. Part inn, part pub, part guide service. A high-beamed ceiling supports antique chandeliers, each bearing a lantern that casts the room in orangey light. Tables, chairs, benches, and the bar are all carved from dark wood. Autumn leaves and foliage decorate the hearth.

The heads of elk and deer and pelts of bears, mountain lions, and a wolf are mounted on the walls. Lucas killed the wolf nearly ten years ago. Told me he shot it in the back of its head while it was sleeping. Its fur is still soft and dense, almost shimmering in the firelight.

Tension gnaws in my gut, and I force myself to look away. There are so many people. A welcome home party he forgot to mention?

The whole town is here, but of course no one tries to start a conversation with me. I spy a lot of Lucas’s family, even the ones from nearby towns. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. All I’ve got is Papa, and that’s only half the time.

Lucas’s parents have always been kind to me. But even they join in the town gossip about the crazy O’Connells. “At least you’ll have lovely grandchildren,” had been a condolence I’d heard directed toward Mr. and Mrs. Poussin many times.

They don’t have to worry, though. Lucas made it very clear he didn’t want a future when he dumped me before he left for university. I’m just his hometown hook-up now.

Finally, I spot Lucas looking down over the railing from the upper level. I weave through the crowd and rush up the stairs to him.

Lucas pulls me into a hug. An intense wave of relief rushes over my body, and I exhale between his muscular arms before he lets me go. He takes my chin and makes me look up at him. “Saw you come in. You looked positively frazzled.”

Well, it would have been nice to know there would be so many people, I think.

Lucas drops his hand. “You would have never made it in the city. It’s refreshing to remember how innocent my little pumpkin is.”

“Don’t call me that.” I hate that nickname.

“I’ll get you a job at the front desk here. It’ll do you some good to see people from all walks of life.”

“I see different people at the bookstore,” I remind him.

“What, women and moldy oldies?” Lucas laughs. Then he grips me around the waist and pulls me against his broad chest. “I’m talking about real people. People who have seen the world.”

“I’ve been to many places too,” I say. “Well, I’ve read about them.”

“My little pumpkin.” He shakes his head, giving me a pitying look as his hand trails down my arm. His thumb brushes my left wrist.

“Wait—”

He pulls up my sleeve and blinks down at my arm.

“Oh right,” he says. “I should have remembered you’d never be able to forget me.”

He’d forgotten?

He’d forgotten.

He’d forgotten the tears that streamed down my cheeks eight years ago as I dry heaved and barely been able to breathe. He was never there when I needed him. And he was going to leave for university. Pain had clawed inside me like a caged animal. And no matter how many tears I’d cried, not a single one reached him.

I remember that night.

How he’d rolled his eyes, pacing and throwing out his hands. “What the fuck do you want from me?”

I couldn’t tell him because I didn’t know. Didn’t know why it hurt so much when he missed dates or forgot to call, and why it hurt even more when he was there. But somehow, that was more bearable.

There was more pain when he pulled out his hunting knife and ripped off the sleeve of my shirt. “Now you’ll remember,” he repeated as he dug the sharp point into my forearm, making the first rough line. “Now you’ll remember who saved your life. Now you’ll remember you don’t need to bother me with your questions.”

And I remember the blood that had fallen from my wrist and sunk into the wood of my bedroom floor. How the pathetic splatter of it is still there today.

But he had left.

And he left with his name carved into my arm and my blood on the floor.

Now, he smiles down at me. “You don’t have to look so concerned. I’m home now.”

“It’s just—” He cuts me off with a kiss. His mouth covers mine, and his tongue slips between my lips. As he moves against me, I struggle to pull my sleeve back down over my arm. A rough hand travels down my body, groping at my breast through my t-shirt, then snaking around to cup my bottom.

“I missed this ass,” he murmurs into my ear. “The city girls are so skinny. Nothing to grip.”

“Lucas.” Ice floods my body as I picture him there. How many girls had he slept with?

“Don’t be jealous, gummy bear.” He tilts his head to the side, a half-smile on his face. “You should thank those city girls. How else could I realize what I want?”

I swallow in a dry throat. “What do you want?”

“Speaking of that, we have to get down to our party.”

“Wait.” He grasps my arm and pulls me back into the crowd. “ Our party?”

I’m not sure why, but there’s a pit in my stomach, growing and growing. A foreboding, like as soon as Lucas leads me out into the fray, something is going to happen. Something is going to change. Something that can’t be undone.

I’m not ready. I’m so not ready.

Lucas drops my arm, then jumps onto the table in the middle of the crowd. He gestures for them to quiet.

“Alright, folks!” his voice booms. “There’s good news and there’s bad news. What do we want first?”

The crowd vibrates with anticipation, cheering and raising their mugs of ale.

“Alright, alright.” Lucas waves his hands to settle them down. “I’ll start with the good news. I’ve officially decided to take over the Hunting Lodge from my parents!”

The surrounding crowd erupts in a cheer, and his dad wipes a tear away with a napkin.

“Expect some modern improvements, though always keeping with long-standing family traditions and values.” Lucas flashes a smile. He really is handsome, his hair glowing a burning red in the flickering light of the fire. “Now for the bad news.”

An uneasy murmur passes through the crowd. I take a step back.

“With taking on the responsibility of the lodge,” Lucas continues, “I’ve had to consider other responsibilities as well. And as of tonight, I’m officially off the market!”

A few laughs burst through the crowd, and I see a group of girls clutch at each other and start whispering. Something dangerous churns within me.

A boom radiates through the lodge as Lucas jumps down from the table to stand in front of me. Then he’s not standing anymore. He’s kneeling.

There’s a small box in his hands, and he opens it. A diamond, square and huge, and the light of it is so bright I blink back tears.

“Break the hearts of everyone in town and be my wife, pumpkin?” Lucas smiles, eyeing the crowd.

Lucas…

Lucas is proposing to me.

I open my mouth, but no words come out.

A part of me can see it: to be his little wife in Orca Cove. Help run the lodge. Maybe feel like I belong.

I can also see the red tail of the letter S peeking out from under my sleeve.

Ice entraps my body and I feel like I’m drowning, heavy clothes pulling me deeper and deeper.

A nervous chuckle sounds through the crowd at my silence. They’re staring at me as if they’ve proposed too. Lucas finally turns to me, surprise etched on his features. “So, what is it? Yes or yes?”

I thought I’d know my answer. Shouldn’t you know the answer when someone is on their knees before you?

The door bursts open. Icy wind and dead leaves blow in, and standing there is the butcher’s son, holding something clutched to his chest. He stumbles into the room. “Rosalina, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Lucas stands and pushes me behind him. “Thomas, what is the meaning of this? The lodge is closed for a private event.”

Thomas’s red hair is wild, his freckled face flushed. “You have to listen. I got turned around hunting in the wood today. Went off the trail mighty bad. Then I saw this. It’s Mr. O’Connell’s jacket.”

“Papa!” I push past Lucas and snatch the jacket from Thomas. It’s covered in blood.

“Rosalina,” Lucas says, trying to pull me back.

I ignore him and grip Thomas on the shoulder. “Take me to where you found this. I’m going after my father.”

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