55. Rosalina
55
Rosalina
F ae must recover quickly because something wet nudges my back, and through blurry eyes, I see the giant white wolf standing. He inclines his head and understanding dawns. With great effort, I pull myself onto his back.
The tips of his fur are frozen with frost. But there’s no other way. I don’t think I could take a single step.
I have no idea where we’re going, only that soft snowfall covers me, and all the cold of winter has seeped into my bones.
Distantly, I register the biting wind has lessened, and I blink my eyes open to reveal the solid stone walls of a cave.
The wolf gives a great heave and collapses. I tumble off him, hitting the rocky ground. Keldarion’s eyes flutter closed, and I take in the extent of the wounds along his body. A trail of blood has followed us into the cavern.
And I realize, maybe fae don’t recover that quickly. Even if they’re beasts. Maybe he gave everything he had to get me here.
“Where are we?” I ask, pushing myself up and looking around the cave. It’s a small inlet with smooth walls, lit only by the bright moonlight.
“One of Ezryn’s caches,” Keldarion grits out, pain lacing each word.
Okay, Rosalina, time to get your act together. Keldarion is wounded. We’re too far away from the castle to make it there. I’m at high risk for hypothermia.
One of Ezryn’s caches. He must use these when he spends the long days out in the Briar hunting goblins. Which means there must be supplies here. A shiny wooden container sits tucked near the back wall, obstructed by shadows. I crawl to it, trying to ignore the pain in my leg and arm, and the fact I can’t feel my fingers and toes right now.
There’s a small lock in the shape of a cherry blossom, but it clicks open at my touch. Pretty shoddy security, Ez. But then again, I can already tell that while vicious, these goblins aren’t exactly geniuses.
As soon as I lift the lid, I let out a prayer to the Spring Prince. This thing is chocked full of resources. Blankets, extra clothes, what looks to be dried packets of food, canteens of water, a plain metal helmet, matches, and… I open a woven pouch to reveal long strips of bandages and several tins of strong-smelling ointment. Hopefully, that’s enough medicine to help a giant wolf.
“Make a fire first,” Keldarion barks. “Get warm then treat your wounds.”
“It’s only a scrape.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not the one bleeding a puddle onto the ground.”
The blood pooling around his back leg makes my heart seize with worry. But I take his advice on the fire. I’ll be no good to anyone if my fingers are too frozen to work.
There’s a pile of wood in the corner and matches at the bottom of the crate. With my limited embarrassing camping skills and Keldarion’s growls of everything I’m doing wrong, I get a decent fire going.
A few choice curse words escape my lips as my fingers prickle, then defrost.
“Now, I have to see how hurt you are.” I turn to Keldarion. “Can you turn back into a man? It will be easier.”
He points his snout to the cave entrance. Stars flicker in the navy sky.
“Right. It’s still night.” I knot my fingers behind my neck, then smirk at him. “Well, I did want to be a veterinarian when I was a kid.”
It’s hard to tell on the maw of a wolf, but I think I earn a smile… or a pained grimace. The ice on my dress is melting and cold water drips down my legs. But none of that matters until Kel is better, or at least not bleeding. I grab the first aid pouch and sit before him, grateful for the warmth of the fire on my back.
Spreading the contents of the pouch before me, I let out a little sigh of delight. “God, I love Ez.”
Kel raises a wolfy brow.
I pick up the first tin and hold it before his snout. “He labeled the containers with numbers and pictographs. Very helpful. I mean, I’m still not sure what they all do, but he healed me before, so I trust he knows what he’s doing.”
“Healing is a magic many rulers of the Spring Realm have possessed,” Keldarion says. “Ezryn is talented. He could be masterful if he saw the virtue in it as he does his other gifts.”
I continue organizing the supplies. If I had to guess, there seems to be a mixture of an acidic smelling disinfectant, a smooth white balm, and a clear gel sealant.
I know the disinfectant stings because Kel lets out a snarl and bares his large fangs when I apply it. He doesn’t scare me anymore; I flick him on the nose and tell him to stop being such a baby.
I work from the largest cuts to the smallest. Thankfully, the sealing gel stops the bleeding, but I can’t do much about the blood tangled in his fur. I have to work carefully around the jutting ice spikes on his body, though it seems most of the frost is melting. Will the wounds still be there when he turns back into a fae? Will it be better or worse?
As I pack away the supplies, Kel nudges my leg with his wet snout. “Don’t forget.”
I apply the balms to myself, then bite out another curse. “Shit, that really does sting.”
“Stop being a baby.” The healing gels must be working because there’s humor in his voice.
“I take back every nice thing I said about Ez,” I mutter, applying the rest of the ointment.
“You need to get out of those wet clothes,” Keldarion rumbles.
“Who are you, Dayton?” I snark at him, but head over to the supply crate.
“You’ll make yourself sick.”
“I’m kidding.” I pull out one of the cloth blankets and a soft long-sleeve black shirt and pants. Is this what Ez wears underneath his armor? “Close your eyes.”
The wolf’s snort is my only reply. But I don’t even turn around to check. I trust him. I strip out of my now tattered dress, placing the diamond necklace carefully on top, then use some of the fresh bandages to wrap around the scars on my wrist. Closing the large blanket around my shoulders, I waddle to the fire, spreading out both the ruined dress and the black shirt and pants. My body is still damp, and I don’t want to get my only dry clothes wet again.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now,” I say, sitting across the fire. “I’m going to wait in this until I dry off.”
But Keldarion narrows his glassy eyes at me. “Come here.”
I immediately obey, closing the blanket tighter around myself and sit against his chest. The white fur is warm from being so close to the fire.
“Are you cold?” I ask. “There’s only one blanket, but you can have this—”
He curves in a C shape around me, resting his massive head on his paws. “I am perfect, my rose.”
My rose. He called me that at the ball, and again just now. And I can’t help but remember the feeling that called me to him, like a star bursting to life beneath my breast.
“I am sorry for it all,” he says, the words rumbling through me. “All you’ve ever done is try to help but—”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Are the others—”
“They’re using their magic to keep Castletree standing.” Pain etches his words. “But when we realized you left the castle, I knew I had to find you.”
“Well, you did say ‘ go away’ .”
“I thought you’d return to your room. I would never send you into the wild alone,” Keldarion says. “Rosalina, I am so sorry. For making you a prisoner, for every rude remark, for sending you away. I know what I need to do now.”
“You need to rest. Are you sure you’re not cold?” I burrow into his neck, fingers running through his soft white fur. “After I fell in freezing water, I was cold for a whole week.”
His ears perk straight up, and he growls, “When was this?”
“A long time ago.”
“Tell me.” His ears slowly lower, and he shifts closer. “And no, I’m not cold. The cold rarely bothers me. Though being trapped in a frozen river pushes even me to my limits.”
Distantly, I run my hand over the scar on my left wrist. “I was fourteen, and the lake in Orca Cove had frozen over,” I begin. “Father was away as usual. The Rockies, maybe, or Nunavut. I can’t remember, but the kids in my class talked about going ice skating on the weekend. I used all my stashed savings to buy skates, and I felt so guilty about it, because I knew Papa could use the money. But I wanted to go so badly, even though no one invited me.”
“Why wouldn’t anyone invite you?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I didn’t fit in with the rest of the school. The few times people tried to talk to me, I always ended up saying something awkward, like going on about the latest book I was reading, or a TV show I was into. I think I once spent thirty minutes explaining how you could swallow falling stars to get magic.”
“Well, I for one think that sounds very interesting,” Keldarion’s deep voice rumbles.
“There are a lot of books I’d like to read you,” I whisper. “But anyway, I showed up hoping everyone would think someone else invited me. I wasn’t a great skater. I hovered on the edge of the group.
“Then I heard a long crack, and beneath my feet, the ice splintered like glass. And the next moment there was nothing but cold. I felt a weight on my ankles. All my winter clothes were so heavy. My first reaction was to scream, but the cold water gushed down my throat.”
Kel’s heartbeat increases. Maybe he’s remembering his own experience earlier.
“I was sinking and sinking. Then there were arms around me, and we were moving. Suddenly, freezing wind bit my face, and a voice yelled in my ear, ‘Kick, kick!’ And I did. I coughed, water sputtering out. And I realized someone had jumped in after me.”
My whole body has gone still remembering the feel of his arms around me. My body is not my own, lost to the cold and wet, and lost to him.
“He pushed himself onto the ice, never once letting go of my jacket, or letting me sink back down. Then he pulled me out of the water, all by himself. I collapsed on top of him, coughing, and when I opened my eyes, all I could see was a boy with hair bright as the sunset.
“He said, ‘Who are you? How have I never seen you before?’ The other kids covered us in their jackets and tried to keep us warm until the paramedics showed up. We were whisked away in an ambulance, and I was shivering so bad. But he sat beside me, threw his arm around me, and told me I was safe now, that he’d look after me. His name was Lucas.”
I turn to Kel, wondering if he’s even interested. He’s just watching me. His eyes narrow. “Go on, Rosalina. I want to know about your life, as hard as it is for me to hear about you in pain.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this story,” I mumble. “I don’t know why. It’s something everyone in the town already knew.”
“But they never heard it from you,” Keldarion says.
I nod, tugging the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “My father was too far away to get me from the hospital. Actually, they couldn’t even get in contact with him for three days. But Lucas’s family insisted I come home with them. They lived in the inn, and they gave me an entire room of my own. At the time, I don’t think I’d had a better week in my life. It was nothing but hot soup and warm fires. Lucas and I spent every day binging reality TV. It didn’t feel weird at all. He kept going on about how he couldn’t believe we’d never met before. I knew who he was, of course. Everyone in town knew Lucas. Orca Cove’s golden boy, perfect and handsome—”
A low grumble echoes from Keldarion, and I can’t help but give a little laugh.
“When we went back to school, everyone treated him like a hero who had slayed a dragon, and I was the princess he rescued. The school even had a whole assembly on ice safety and the police came to give him a medal. If Lucas had been popular before, he was revered now.”
The firelight plays over my pale skin and Keldarion’s white fur.
“After that, it was like everyone saw me. Girls would tell me they liked my scrunchie, or how beautiful I looked.”
“You are beautiful, Rosalina,” Keldarion says.
“Maybe that was all they could think to say to me. It felt like the more they saw me… the less of me that was left. I didn’t talk about the things I liked, and I did fewer things I enjoyed. Lucas was the sun, and I was his shadow. And I was so good at it, he forgot he had his own. But I was terrified of being alone. And being a shadow next to someone… Well, wasn’t that better than being by myself?”
An angry rumble sounds through Keldarion, and he curls closer. I bring the blanket up, disappearing into his warmth.
“What about here? Do you pretend?”
“No.” I laugh. “I mean, why would I? I have nothing to lose. A prisoner—”
“I told you. You’re not a prisoner.”
I nod, remembering his words at the ball. “After the ice skating, it was fate, I suppose. I owed Lucas my life and—”
“Saving someone’s life does not grant them ownership of it.”
His words settle in me before I continue, “He was my hero, and I was his…”
“Do you love him?”
My fingers tighten around my wrist until it hurts. “I always thought so. I mean, yes. In a way. I wonder sometimes… is all love good?”
Kel’s breath is heavy, and his whole body shifts before he says, “No.”
Tears fall from my eyes, and I wipe them with the back of my hand. “Don’t be thinking about yourself now, okay? This is my pity party. Your mate is going to be very lucky when you find her.” The last words are a struggle, feeling all wrong in my mouth.
“I told you before, Rosalina. I will never have a mate.”
I could tell him off like I did at the ball, but my strength has waned. “You’ll fall in love again, Kel,” I whisper. “It’s not hard, actually.”
My eyes flutter closed, and I let the warmth of the fire settle over me as I drift into a deep sleep. It’s not hard to fall in love again, because somehow, it happened to me.
The frost and darkness do not enter my dreams. There’s only warmth. The star that led me to him blooms in my chest, sending a cascade of contentment through me. Images float by: softly falling snow, a boy roasting chestnuts and stringing orange slices above a mantel. I see Kel, younger, with a sweet smile. An older fae runs her hands through his hair, kissing his cheek. Now, there’s a field of flowers and he’s sticking them between the metal plates of another small boy’s armor, laughing. A young Ezryn, I know it.
My dreams feel like memories not of my own, but the best kind, the kind that stays locked within the heart. Dark satin sheets strain beneath Kel’s large, veined hands. A desperate kiss sends heat coiling to my core, and his raspy voice fills my head: “There is nothing in this world I would not give up for you, no sacrifice I would not make.” Passion and lust fill every part of my body, and distantly I feel the coarse blanket against my bare skin. “Then prove it, Kel. Prove it to me.”
The band around my wrist burns, and I descend further into this dream. Into this memory. A rain-splattered night. The face of a beautiful human woman, four roses in her hands. Then, a light, a light so bright I can’t see. The Enchantress flashes before my eyes, her face one of unearthly beauty, a face I’ve seen before.
Here stands a beast who will let the entire Vale go to rot for the sake of his own selfish heart.
My eyes shoot open, a gasp upon my lips. The fire has simmered to embers, and moonlight still dances on the mouth of the cave. Stars flicker in the night sky.
Cold shivers over my body, my blanket partly fallen away, but a hand grips tightly around my waist. Consciousness returns as I feel the contour of a shape against my back. A shape not of a wolf.
But of a man.