Chapter 19 #2
He looks over the garden. “I went to the human district once, and we had horses with us. The other children there, they were fascinated. I never knew why until now.”
I want to touch his arm, offer some comfort, but I don’t. “I’m sorry about your mother. I know she died and Meredith was lost. It must have been difficult for you.”
He crosses his thick arms. “Losing them both was devastating, but I knew I had my father. Only when I got back, he wouldn’t believe they were dead.
I haven’t told Meredith what happened here, but he.
.. madness took over. My father was adamant they were alive, and he screamed all day and night for my mother. ”
My heart hurts for him. I touch his arm this time. “You lost your entire family in the blink of an eye. I hope someone was here for you.”
Dain looks down, right into my eyes. “My father hated the sight of me and I hid for many months to avoid his anger. I got lucky and a training master named Oscar found me, and took me with him into the city to train. Every single day. He is an old man now but I owe him a great deal. He is the reason for everything I am to this day.”
I smile up at Dain. “He did a good job.”
Dain laughs. “Then you really don’t know me all that well yet, Illyria. I’m more fucked up than any man you’ve met.” Why does that sound attractive to me? I almost step closer to him. He clears his throat. “Is there a lover waiting for you back in the human district?”
My heart patters in my chest and it hurts. Bane. But he isn’t waiting for me. “No.” Light sparks in the depths of his eyes. I have to change the subject for my own good. “Do you like animals then or just horses?”
“Yes, I love animals. Though I have to say I’m partial to cats. My mother had a peculiar cat.” He offers as we begin to walk to the gardens.
“Where is the cat now?” I question. I love cats, but the only ones I’ve seen were the mean fuckers from home. The nice ones were always killed.
“Oh, she — when my mother died, her cat went missing. I often think she just wandered into the forest to try and find her.” He shrugs. “Tell me about your parents? Are yours alive? In the human district?”
“Yes, they both are. I also have one cousin too who lives with us after losing her parents and recently they’ve taken in some orphans, so I don’t quite know whether to count them as siblings yet but they are family.
” I explain the madness of my family. “My mother sings all the time, especially when cooking and my dad can always be found fixing something. The pair of them never sit still and I often learned to be the same way.”
“They sound like good people.” He glances at me.
“Which one did you get the red hair from?” He reaches out, touching a lock of my hair.
My heart jumps in my chest at the contact.
I haven’t felt this way since Bane, really and that man frustrated me to no end, yet he did this too — he made my heart leap in my chest.
“My mother,” I nearly choke out, hoping my voice sounds steadier than I feel.
“She has hair like mine. Her mother’s wasn’t quite as red — more of a darker, almost brown colour.
I barely remember my grandmother now though.
My mother claimed I was born with a head like it was on fire.
So much red hair even from the beginning. ”
“It’s an unusual colour to see here. Most people have dark hair or blonde. Except for the royal family, of course.” He lets my hair go.
We walk around the edge of the castle and up to some wooden stables. I hear the horses first — the slight stomp of them, the soft sounds they make. Before he can even open the stable doors, I’m already peering in with excitement.
I can’t help the squeal that comes out of my throat when I see them.
They’re just like in the books — beautiful creatures.
Tall, towering over me, each one with pure white fur and bright blue eyes.
Majestic is the only word I can think of to name the horses and I wish I could bring a dozen of them back to the human district, so everyone could see how amazing they are. “These are extraordinary creatures.”
“This is my horse, Delilah.” He walks to the left stable.
“Yes, I know it’s quite a girly name, but I named her when I was five and she was just born.
” A large white horse immediately pushes into him.
He smiles at her — a bright, unguarded smile.
“These are special horses, in a sense. They’re bred to be some of the fastest horses you can ride.
They call them Moonlight Horses, just due to the fur.
I imagine if the moonlight touches them, they almost glow.
Every time a royal is born, so is one of these horses.
Legends say they die with us too, but that isn’t true. ”
“She is beautiful.” He leads me over to another horse, slightly smaller, pacing up and down at the back. “This is Dorothy. She was my mother’s horse for a time, but she’s quite old now and stubborn. She only lets women ride her and she bites men.”
“I can understand her feelings.” I wink at him and he laughs as I turn to look at her.
The only way I can tell she is older is from the creases around her eyes and some streaks of grey in her fur, but otherwise she could be the twin of the other horses in here.
I count five. “They really are beautiful. Thank you for showing me.”
“Would you like to ride her? I often send down a maid or someone to come and ride her occasionally, but if you’ve never seen one and never ridden a horse — it is quite fun.
There’s a great trail through the forest. I’ll look after you and you will be safe at my side.
” He waits for my answer. Everything lately has proved to me that life is short, and I need to take every risk offered.
I chose to come here instead of going home and everything I said to Meredith was true.
I felt like my life was meant to be more than a simple life in the human district.
I want adventure, a calling and just more. I always have done. I nod once.
He unclips his coat, draping it over the side of the stable door and I gulp.
His dark shirt clings to his shoulders and muscles, showing off his smaller waist and I want to keep dropping my eyes, but I force them away.
When I finally look up to his eyes, his lips are twitching just a little in amusement.
My cheeks burn but he doesn’t push it, he simply goes to a stall with no horse inside and grabs two heavy saddles, putting one on the door for his horse and heading into Dorothy’s stall.
She neighs at him and he waits patiently by the door until she settles.
“Tell me more about the human district,” he asks as Dorothy walks to him.
She takes several deep sniffs of the air before coming closer, and then waits patiently.
“It has taken some time for her to let me in here to aid her in any way. There was a terrible storm about five years ago and she got out into the woods. I searched all night for her and found her trapped, nearly hanging off a steep cliff. I got her back up and since then, she has let me saddle her and feed her.”
“She trusts you because you saved her.” I lean on the stable door.
“I think it is because I didn’t give up on her, even when most might have done.
I can be stubborn and this horse is one of the few remaining things my mother loved.
” His honest answer is nice. He didn’t give up.
Bane gave up on me as soon as he could and other than my family, most people in my life have done the same.
For a second, I wonder what it would be like to have someone in my life that never gives up.
“As for the human district — what do you want to know?”
“What’s it like growing up there?” He questions. “My sister — well, you know everything.” He works on the saddle, pulling the straps around. “She seems very guarded and I wanted to know how differently she grew up to what her life would have been here.” Guarded definitely defines his sister.
“Life is hard for anyone in the human district. Orphans particularly so... but Meredith had Tannith. She was her best friend, a sister and one of the best people I knew. The world got darker when she died. I can’t tell you exactly what Merry’s life was like but she is only guarded because she has been taught to be that way.
” I watch his hands as he messes with the straps.
“At least she found you now and she has family.”
He pauses. “It is good to have people here once more, even if Meredith doesn’t stay for long. It can get lonely here, in the castle. Often I’m told I should just choose someone and marry so that at least I have a family, and eventually children running around.”
“Why don’t you?” I gently ask.
“Because I’ve never met that person. Someone that makes me want to risk that.
To have a wife and family would be amazing, but also something that I need the right person for.
Someone I can’t take my eyes off.” He’s looking at me very directly as he speaks.
“I also have to know that person wanted the risk of being mine. We have many enemies and a messy war on the way.”
“Risk is there for anyone who chooses to have family.” I clear my throat.
“I mean, I saw loads of people have families in the human district. Mostly because contraception — ways of stopping pregnancy — just didn’t exist for the poor.
So if someone accidentally got pregnant, you just married them.
It was considered the right thing to do otherwise the child ended up in an orphanage, and the mother in a bad situation.
I was very lucky my father married my mother quite early on, before they’d even had me. ”