Chapter 4 Brad
Brad
It’s been a while since we finished our hot dogs. I don’t want to make any sudden movements in case I scare him off, but I’m fairly certain Noah is actually starting to enjoy my company.
“You can’t be serious. You’re telling me if a bear came out of the forest right now, you’d be perfectly fine?” Noah’s brows lift high, disbelief flashing across his face.
I roll my eyes and lean back, stifling a laugh. “Not my favorite scenario, but there are only black bears out here. They just want your food. As long as you don’t panic, you’ll be fine.”
I lean forward again, bracing my forearms on my knees. “It’s the grizzlies out west you’ve really got to worry about.”
I lower my voice, just enough to sell it.
Noah shakes his head. “No way.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Watch it. You’re beginning to show weakness. You wouldn’t want that.” I can’t help the smile pulling at my lips.
Noah rolls his eyes and scoffs, but his restless hands and constant glances over his shoulder betrays him. I can tell he’s nervous.
It’s actually kind of adorable.
I look down at my shoes in the dirt, immediate shame swallowing me whole. I shouldn’t think like that. Not that it’s weird. He can be adorable and it not be weird. Dammit, why am I being weird?
I scratch at the back of my neck. The sun is starting to go down, and before long, we’re going to need to bring out the bug spray and get ourselves inside the tent.
I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling a little anxious about that part. The tent isn’t as big as it needs to be and there’s only so much distance I can put between us.
It’ll be hot and cramped and…fuck, maybe I should bite the bullet and sleep in the trunk. Even if it’ll royally mess up my back.
“Nah, I’m not scared.” Noah pulls me out of my thoughts and brings me back into the present.
“Oh no?” I smirk.
“Nah. I don’t have to run fast.” His lips twitch. “I just have to run faster than you,” he laughs.
A deep chuckle slips out before I can stop it. “You’ve never seen me run before. Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that, for your sake.”
I watch as Noah leans over and starts stoking the fire with a long stick. Sparks fly up into the air, casting a nice glow on his face. It’s such a beautiful night out here and accompanied by the soft melodies of my nearby speaker, I’d say it’s a pretty successful night.
“Hey, you know what would be perfect?” Noah's eyebrow perks up. My brows pinch as I take in his face. His mischievous grin is making me feel a little nervous.
“Uh oh. Why do I feel like I shouldn’t ask…”
“Wanna smoke?” He bites his lip, his knee bouncing up excitedly.
“Noah–”
“Come on. No one’s going to know.” He’s already on his feet, grinning.
“I’ll know. What am I supposed to tell your—”
“Uh uh.” He juts out his finger, effectively silencing me. I huff out a long breath. “You said no blank talk. Just you and I out here, right?” He narrows his eyes.
I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “Fine. Let’s do the weed.”
This prompts a very real laugh from him, warming my chest. “Do the weed,” he repeats softly as he steps into the tent.
I hear him rustling around for his overnight bag, and I wait patiently as he puts whatever he needs together.
I’ve smoked many times before when I was younger, so I’m not concerned. Truthfully, it’ll feel nice to do it again. I haven’t since my last relationship, and something inside of me is excited to feel…loose and at ease again.
Noah finally emerges with a shallow box lid, using it as a makeshift tray. A small, shiny gray grinder sits on top, along with what I assume are papers and weed.
He settles back across the fire from me and sets the fixings on his lap. With a faint smile tugging at his mouth, he starts rolling the joint, fingers moving with ease like he’s done it a million times.
I scratch my eyebrow. “You’re trouble.”
“Oh, this is just the beginning.” He looks up at me as he brings the joint paper to his lips. Without looking away, he swipes his tongue slowly across the edge as though he’s doing it on purpose, taking his time to show me just how he likes to prepare it.
I don’t know what the fuck has come over me, but there’s a low stir deep in my stomach as I watch his tongue glide smoothly along the paper. My breath catches in my throat. I sit up and quickly look away. I know he probably can’t tell, but it feels like he could see straight through me anyway.
“So… um,” I clear my throat with a slight cough. “How are you so good at that?”
“Rolling up?” His lip quirks into a small smile.
I feel my cheeks heat. “I just mean…you’re not a dealer or anything, are you?”
He arches his brow at me. “Do I seem like one?”
“Yes…” I say, teasing in my tone. Then I shake my head slightly, voice dropping. “No,” I answer truthfully.
He hums in agreement. “Smoking helps me to relax,” he says, focusing on twisting the end, making sure the roll is tight and secure. “Sometimes it’s nice with a little help.”
I get what he means. I swallow deeply as he brings the blunt to his lips.
“I don’t have to be scared of you tripping out or anything, right?” He asks, his words coming out slightly muffled with the rollup hanging out the side of his mouth. He leans over and fishes out his lighter from his back pocket.
I shake my head. “Do I look like I can’t handle it?”
He looks at me for a beat. That same weird tension fills the air around us again.
“Yes…” he says softly…before shaking his head slowly. “No,” he corrects, with a hint of a smile.
Getting up, he strides over to me. I watch him as he drops to a crouch in front of me, his chest a few inches away from my knees.
Tilting his head, he lifts the lighter to the end, and we both watch the tip as it sets aflame.
For some reason, I’m finding it hard to keep a steady breath.
Hesitantly, my eyes drift to his, and I realize he’s no longer watching the light. He’s watching me. His gaze pierces mine as he inhales deeply, and I instinctively lick my lips.
Being this close, I realize he doesn’t have his mother’s eyes at all.
His green eyes are flecked with hazel, with a deep forest-green ring around the edges.
The golden shimmer makes them all the more mesmerizing.
We freeze, locked in each other’s gaze, until a wisp of smoke drifts between us, curling into my nose with that sharp, familiar scent.
He brings his hands covered in silver rings up to his mouth and pulls out the joint.
Licking his lips, I zone in on that small piercing that I’ve been so curious about.
“When’d you get that?” I tilt my chin to his mouth, absentmindedly taking the blunt from him and bringing it to my lips.
“What?" He bites his lip ring. “This?” I nod my head, ignoring the way that the action makes my stomach flip.
I take in a deep, long pull, allowing the warmth to fill my lungs.
“I got it on my sixteenth birthday. That and this—” He sticks out his tongue, holding a small silver ball between his teeth.
I suck in a breath, all of a sudden, forgetting how to breathe. Before I know it, I’m coughing up a lung.
Noah stands up, rubbing my back gently as he laughs so hard I think he may die.
“Whoa, there. You gonna be okay?” He shakes his head, chuckling.
I nod, throwing my arm in front of my mouth to keep from royally embarrassing myself even further.
It’s his fault. Flashing that…piece of metal. It completely set me off.
Confusingly, in more ways than one.
“What’d you get that for?” I ask, feeling my throat burn, but thankfully, I'm starting to breathe steadily, again.
His hand still hasn’t left my back, rubbing small circles.
Is this some sort of joke? Why’s he being nice?
“I mean, it looks cool for one.” He shrugs, backing up and sitting back in his seat across the fire from me. I’m thankful that he left, but I also feel a strange, empty feeling in his absence. It felt nice having him crowd me like that.
I look down at the joint in my hand and take another hit.
“Plus, apparently it’s good for blowjobs.”
Blowjobs?
A rush of pain shoots through my chest, and I’m hacking up a lung yet again.
“Holy shit. You’re going to get such a massive head rush. I’m almost jealous.” A deep laugh barrels out of him, and I can’t help but join in too.
He’s not wrong at all. My brain feels lighter, my body feels looser. Everything around me feels…peaceful. I’m seriously so high, and it never would’ve hit me this fast if it wasn’t for all the hard coughing.
I can’t help it, though. He keeps saying all the strangest things.
I squint my eyes at him. “You said blow jobs?...instead of eating a girl out?”
He gets up from his seat and walks over to me, taking the joint from my fingers and bringing it to his lips. I stare up at him as he does this. He shrugs simply, blowing a thick cloud into the night sky.
“I mean, it’s good for both,” he shrugs.
I stare up at him as he exhales another puff, confident and unbothered. Honestly, I don’t think the weed is hitting him at all.
My eyes drift down his body until I realize he’s standing between my spread legs. Does he even care?
I shift awkwardly in my seat.
“So…both as in…you’re bi or pan…or whatever?” I ask.
A faint smirk pulls at Noah’s lips as his eyes dip to mine. “Yeah, I guess I’m bi or pan or whatever.” His voice is low, teasing. “I guess I’d be pan, if I had to label it.” He shrugs, like it doesn’t matter, but his eyes stay locked on mine.
My jaw clenches and I force myself to look away.
I shouldn’t know this much about him. And yet…I can’t stop feeling curious.
So, he’s been with guys. That mouth... has been wrapped around a dick…
I swallow thickly.
How could he be so nonchalant about it? He doesn’t even know me, and yet he tells me like it doesn’t phase him at all? What if I was a homophobic psychopath?
Unless…he wanted to tell me.
Before I can think better of it, I’m searching for his eyes again. Looking up at him, I see him staring down at me. His black hair falls over his forehead and into his eyes. I want to sweep his bangs back, just to see them clearly. They're so pretty.
“You think my eyes are pretty?” he asks, tilting his head. His gaze flicks to my lips.
My heart starts thumping in my chest as panic rises in my throat.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“You haven’t stopped talking.” He laughs, finishing up the smallest pull before he flicks the little nub over his shoulder and straight into the fire.
“Seriously? Oh fuck.” I sigh, rubbing my hands against my face. This isn’t good.
“It’s no worries,” he says, still standing between my legs. “I think yours are pretty, too.”
“You can’t say that.” I shake my head even if I want to hear it again.
His eyebrows furrow. “Why not?”
The pressure builds in my chest as the guilt flows through me. “Because I’m with your mother. You shouldn’t…say certain things.”
His lips quirk back into that annoyingly charming smile. What does he think is so damn funny?
“The fact that you’re clearly worried that calling my eyes pretty makes you gay.” He laughs.
My heart jumps into my throat.
Fuck! I need to shut the hell up.
I stand abruptly, almost knocking Noah back in the process. “Sorry. I just…I should go to bed,” I stammer.
“Woah, I was just kidding around. It’s no big deal,” he says, lifting his hands up in surrender.
“I’m not gay,” I say poking him in the chest.
“Alright.” He shrugs. I can see shock and confusion all over his face, but I bet it’s just an act. He clearly just wanted to get under my skin tonight. Pull things out about me. It’s probably why he offered me weed—make me loosen up, say shit I’ll regret. Well, it stops here.
“You’re a little shit disturber,” I say.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Yeah, I got it.”
I look down at my hand that’s still poking him in the chest. “And you’ve got…piercings...” My finger slowly slides towards where his nipple would be. I didn’t get a good enough look in the water. “Did they hurt?” I ask, licking my lips. My mouth has gone dry just thinking about it.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He swats my hand off his chest and walks over to his seat.
Dammit. How’d I screw this up?
I rack my brain to think of the last few events.
I noticed his tongue ring. I complimented his eyes. And somewhere along the way, I said something to make him dislike me again.
Yeah, checks out.
I breathe out deeply. “You know how to put out a fire?”
“Yeah, it’s not rocket science,” he mutters, staring into the flames.
I nod my head. I really don’t want to leave it like this, but me being high around him is clearly not a good combo. “Okay…well…goodnight,” I say.
He looks at me, and I can tell by his face that he’s disappointed that I’m already calling it a night.
I frown, opening up the tent and crawling in. Truthfully, I’m disappointed too. We were having a good time.
But no, I have to be smart here. And clearly being around him while under the influence is not a smart move.