Epilogue | Noah
Six months later
“Bra! Bra!” Paislee’s chubby hand reaches out toward Brad. That’s how she says his name—half-formed, but full of love.
“Well, fine. I see who her favorite is.” I sarcastically roll my eyes as I pass Paislee to Brad. He chuckles beside me as we sit on our front porch swing.
“I’m happy you’re not confused.” He winks at me.
I can’t help but laugh, as he tickles his nose against hers. “I’m going to miss her when we go.” He sighs.
I nod my head. “Me too. But, I mean, she’ll be okay. She always is.” This will be our first trip overseas together.
Now that the winter is here, we’ve been aching to get away and there’s one place we want to go the most.
There’s just nothing like seeing him out in the sun.
“You’re right, you’re right.” He groans, bouncing her on her knee. “It’s just…I get scared she’ll forget me.”
A pain hits my chest at that very real fear of his.
A couple weeks after the truth came out, we learned Paislee wasn’t Brad’s by blood, but Kevin’s.
It was a big blow that nearly broke him. It took a long time to calm him down. Truthfully, I don’t think that’s a betrayal anyone can ever truly get over.
“What will I be to her now?”
“You’ll be what you’ve always been. A protector. A guide. Support. Love. That’s all she needs and a kid can never get enough.”
Sometimes I worry that he sees it as karma for what we did. Cheating on my mom wasn’t something we had planned on. But I’ll continue reminding him, everyday, that we are not a mistake.
Neither is his relationship with Paislee.
He was there at the birth, took care of her as a newborn and he will be there for her for the rest of her life.
We both will.
“She will never forget you. Forgetting you is impossible,” I say, grabbing ahold of the back of his hair at the nape of his neck. He closes his eyes, leaning his head into the pull. “And as she gets older, who knows. Maybe next time, she can come with us.” I wink.
He opens his eyes and I see that knee-buckling smile peek out. God, he’s handsome.
The sound of tires against the gravel driveway breaks our quiet, serene moment.
They’re here.
Brad and I exchange a look, before we get up and make a move to greet them.
I take Paislee from his arms and pick up her overnight bag.
She had spent the weekend with us at our place, which was a great time.
After the truth came out, Brad and I left my childhood home. It hasn’t been my home for a long time, anyway. Frankly, Kevin and Veronica can have it.
There was nothing there for Brad and I.
We were done moving backward. Only forward.
Kevin turns off his truck’s ignition and they both hop out.
“Hey,” I say, handing Paislee to my mom. Brad stays back on the porch, hands in his pockets, leaning on the porch pillar. We only live an hour outside of town, so thankfully it’s not too far between us for drop-offs like this.
“Hi Noah.” She smiles gently, holding Paislee on her hips. Her eyes flick over my shoulder. “Hey Brad,” she calls out, over my shoulder.
He nods his head, eyes shifting to Kevin and then back to her.
Kevin gives a short head nod too, rounding the other side of the truck to prepare Paislee’s car seat. After Kevin left the company, Brad promoted Ethan to project manager—Ethan had been thrilled.
“How was she?” Mom asks.
I shrug. “The usual. A little fussy over her veggies still but nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Good. Good.” She smiles. “Listen…uh,” her eyes nervously flick back to Kevin before coming back to me. “I was thinking, I’d really like to see you. Soon— if you’re okay with that.”
I internally cringe. Scratching the back of my neck. “I’m not sure…”
I see disappointment wash over her face. Over the past months, it’s not the first time she’s mentioned reconciliation and I doubt it’ll be the last.
But, how can we just move past everything that has happened?
“I know, I know. It’s just…” She looks down at her feet. Paislee reaches out to me and I squeeze her little hand. “We’re going to be in each other’s lives forever. I mean, I’ll always be your mom and Paislee will always be your sister—”
“Mom—”
“I just feel like, if we can just come together and—”
“Mom,” I say again, cutting her off.
Her eyes start to water as I can see the sadness overtake her.
“Come on, Veronica.” Kevin grits out, taking Paislee from her arms.
Paislee starts to squirm in Kevin’s arms, her little fingers straining toward Brad and I. Her little cries sound quickly after and I blow out a breath. I know it hurts Brad to see it happen. He hates this part.
Hell, so do I.
It guts me. He’s been there since the day she was born. In every way that matters, she’s his. And yet here we are, watching her cry for him as she’s buckled into someone else’s truck.
My eyes pinch shut.
It feels like we’re co-parenting when we shouldn’t be putting Paislee through this. Not when there’s another option.
An easier option.
I look back at Brad who’s looking down. His shoulders sag, eyes fixed on the ground like he can’t bear to watch the truck pull away.
Something has to give. For Brad. For Paislee. For me. If we’re going to build a life that isn’t made of coldness and resentment, I have to start somewhere.
I look back to my mom who looks defeated, ready to leave.
“How about…I’ll call you.” I compromise.
Her eyes widen. “What? Really?”
I take a big breath in. “It’s going to take a long time for Brad to forgive you. Obviously, you two have a lot of…shit to sort out. ”
She nods her head sadly.
“But, you found it in your heart to forgive us for what we did. And Brad…” I swallow thickly. “If he’s taught me anything, it’s that some things are worth not running away from. So…how about we work on it.”
Her shoulders drop, visibly relieved. “Really?”
I’ve been holding onto this anger for so long it became part of me. But lately… it doesn’t have a place in my life anymore.
Being mad at her won’t bring my dad back.
Being mad at her won’t make Paislee Brad’s daughter.
And I’m not angry as I used to be. I have no reason to be when life feels this good.
He’s changed everything for me and anger isn’t worth it anymore.
I feel lighter. Happier. And maybe bridging our relationship is the final step.
I know it is.
My lip quirks up on the side. “Yeah. Really.”
Her mouth drops, looking back to Kevin, finally finished with snapping her in.
“Okay, well I better go. We’re watching Moana tonight.” She smiles softly.
I nod my head, stepping backwards. “Peeps' favorite.”
She nods. “Yeah.”
“Bye, mom.”
She gives me a quick wave as she hops into the truck.
I walk up to Brad and we stand there watching their truck pull out of the snowy driveway.
“I’m proud of you.” Brad surprises me by saying. He wraps his arms around my shoulders so his chest presses against my back.
“What? Why?” I smile.
“Not many people could do what you just did.”
“I don’t know about that.” I huff out.
He buries his face in my hair, soaking me in. “But I do,” he whispers softly. “I do.”