30. Hendrix
Chapter 30
Hendrix
I shuffled down the hall, half-asleep. I’d woken up at some point in the night to a boner that wouldn’t quit. Whatever fun Meadow had been having was coursing through the bond. I could only assume she was with Phin or Beckett, since Arlo was passed out face down in my bed. Taking care of it next to him was too awkward to comprehend.
It was good she was getting closer to the pack, since I fully intended to keep her for as long as I could. I’d never seen a future before. From the moment we tasted fame, everything after twenty-seven had become nebulous and unattainable, and it still was, but at least now I was hopeful I’d get to see my kid first. The pack would take care of Meadow and the baby; they’d love them. I could already see it happening.
Anxiety twisted in my chest, climbing up my throat to choke me, tears burning my eyes as the ice of panic rushed through my veins. Before I could drown, Meadow emerged from Beckett’s room wrapped in a sheet, her eyes wide before she locked her arms around me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, squeezing even harder.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Don’t do that. I felt it.” Her eyes were so sweet and wide when she looked up at me, shiny from unshed tears.
“That’s just…how it gets in my head when I’m not properly distracted.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I never wanted to, but if she was going to feel those spirals, I might as well give her a bit of insight. She dragged me to the kitchen and put on the kettle for some tea, and she looked so fucking perfect maneuvering around the space in nothing but a bedsheet that it stole my breath.
So, while we sipped some chamomile that had probably been in our cabinets for the last five years, I told her about my fixation with the 27 Club and the certainty that I was destined to join it. Meadow absorbed all of the information and climbed onto my lap, taking my hand and pressing it against her belly.
“The 27 Club can’t have you. We’ve already called dibs.”
It shouldn’t have shaken me so deeply, but it did. I knew that dibs wouldn’t save me, but it was something to grab on to, nonetheless.
“Have you talked to a professional about this?” she asked after a few moments of silence.
“With what time?”
“Hendrix, this is something you have to make time for. You owe it to yourself, to all of us, to take care of yourself. I barely even know you, but I still know I want you to stick around.”
“I’ll find someone when the tour is over. Is that okay?”
Meadow lifted a pouting mouth to me, and before she could speak, I lowered to kiss her, stealing all of that soft sweetness for myself.
“I know sooner is better. But also better late than never?”
Her lip pouted once more, as if it was committed to giving me the distraction I needed, and I gave in again, sliding my arms around her.
“You can’t just keep kissing me to avoid the conversation,” she insisted, eventually pushing me away.
“You make it so easy.”
Meadow pressed her lips into a thin line, but after a second, I could see the curve on the sides. “You’re ridiculous.”
“That’s all part of my charm. So, which of the pack is responsible for your very stylish ensemble?”
Meadow stared down at the sheet, as if she’d just remembered that was the only thing she was wearing. Her cheeks flushed hot pink.
“Phin or Beckett?” I asked.
“Both.”
That answer caught me off guard, and I burst out laughing while her lip dropped into another of those delectable pouts. “I’m sorry for laughing. I just wasn’t expecting that. Both at once is quite the choice. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
She glared adorably. “Do not question my life choices when you were one of them.”
That only made me laugh again. “I love your choices, dream girl. My greedy little omega claiming every alpha in the house.”
Her cheeks puffed up like an angry chipmunk.
“It’s a good thing,” I promised. “I’m glad you’re getting along with the pack.”
She snuggled against me even harder, tucking her head under my chin. “I’m not talking to you right now.”
If she wanted to sit in silence, I was completely fine with that. I was just glad she wanted to do that right where she was. I held her tighter, breathing in her floral scent and letting it push back the edges of my anxiety. It wasn’t a real fix, especially since I couldn’t have her stuck to me at all hours, but it was nice to have a reprieve, however temporary it might be. Meadow’s purr was like a buzz saw, the soft rumbling vibrating my chest and untangling the knots of insecurity, thread by thread.
It had been beyond stupid of me to bond Meadow, but it was really hard to feel regret when I was holding her in my arms.
“Do you want to come back to Beckett’s room?” she asked.
“Pretty sure it’ll be crowded with four of us in there.”
“That’s why we snuggle to conserve space,” Meadow insisted.
“And what about Arlo?”
“Either we wake him up now and bring him with us, or he’ll find us when he wakes up. I don’t want things to be weird with Phin and Beckett if they wake up and I’m gone.”
“ Yeah ,” I said slowly. “I could see how that would fuck up a person. Sleeping with the most gorgeous omega in existence and waking up to find your bed empty ? The height of cruelty.”
Meadow lightly whacked my chest. “Not my fault you guys have shit security on your bus. It’s not like it felt good to leave.”
“I’m just teasing.” I kissed the top of her head and scooped her up bridal style, carrying her off to Beckett’s room. The two of them were still out cold when Meadow climbed between them, dragging me with her until I was wedged between her and Beckett.
“You’re not an omega,” Beckett grumbled, only half-awake.
“I’m here under her orders.”
That seemed to appease him, and he fell back asleep almost instantly. I slipped under, inhaling Meadow with every breath.
The next time I awoke, Meadow was upright and staring at my ass. I followed the direction of her gaze, seeing the top of my tattoo peeking out where my sleep shorts had ridden down.
“See something you like, beautiful?”
Meadow blinked like I’d broken her out of a trance. “Hmm?”
“I know my butt looks amazing, but you’re gonna make me self-conscious.”
“What does your tattoo say?”
I tugged the waistband down, revealing the words Bite Me scrawled across my ass cheek. I’d gotten it at the same time Phin and Arlo had gotten pierced. Beckett had a tattoo of Arlo’s name in a heart on his ass. That had been a very stupid and very wild day. I hadn’t been brave enough to get a needle shoved through my dick, which meant Arlo and Phin got to choose our tattoos, but I had managed to get through it well enough.
“It all makes so much sense now.”
Arlo rolled over with a yawn and sat up. He must have joined us at some point. “What makes sense, princess?”
“Why I bit Hendrix where I did.” She tapped her bite mark just below the words. “I was just following instructions.”
Arlo let out a loud belly laugh, setting me off in turn, the two of us absolutely fucking losing it over how cute this woman was. Following instructions . That was the best excuse I had ever heard.
Our laughter woke Phin and Beckett, and when they asked what was so funny, they lost it too at Arlo’s explanation. Meadow’s face was beet red as she sat between all of us, the blankets pooled at her waist, exposing her gorgeous tits and the slope of her stomach.
“It’s not that funny,” she insisted.
“It absolutely is,” replied Arlo. “Makes me want to go out and get a new tattoo right now.”
“Do I want to know what you would have it say?” Meadow asked.
“The options are endless.” Arlo grinned. “Bite me, kiss me, ride me into the mattress.”
“Oh my god. I’m leaving.” Meadow climbed out of the bed, giving all of us an exquisite view of her naked body as she vacated the room.
“Should we go after her?” Phin asked.
“She’ll be back.” I stretched and carefully made my way to the edge of the bed. “She was amused as fuck in the bond.”
I took my time picking out clothing for the day in my own room.
Meadow did indeed return, hovering in my doorway, fully clothed this time, unfortunately. “Are you feeling any better?”
I opened my arms, and she slipped inside, tucking herself into them. “You knocked out the spiral. I’ll be fine until the next one.”
“How were you dealing with them before we reunited?”
“Mostly with questionable consumption.”
Meadow pursed her lips. “I wonder how much of that I felt.”
“More than I’d like. I’m going to try getting off what I’ve been taking. I don’t want you feeling that.”
“Shouldn’t that be handled by professionals too?”
“Yes…but that’ll have to happen af?—”
“After the tour?” Her frown creased little lines into her face.
“I don’t have much choice about that. I’d be disappointing a lot of people and hurting careers if I hopped off to rehab mid-tour.”
“They would understand.” Meadow nuzzled her cheek against my shirt, scent marking it.
“Just because they would understand doesn’t mean it wouldn’t do damage. I’m just trying to do what’s best for everyone.”
Her fingers curled in the fabric of my shirt, and she pulled me down. “What about what’s best for you?”
How was I supposed to make her understand that there was no best for me in this life? My options were to suck it up or destroy careers. I’d been sucking it up for so long I didn’t even know how to function in a way that put my own well-being first.
“I don’t know,” I confessed.
“You have a baby on the way,” Meadow said firmly. “Figure it out.”