Chapter 30 Faye
THIRTY
Faye
“Thanks for picking me up from class,” I tell Delilah as she pulls up outside Stella House in the golf cart.
“It was nice to drive. Sabs likes to hog the carts.” Delilah giggles. The journey was more chill than with Sabs, who makes every ride feel like a rollercoaster. “And at least we didn’t run into any knot-heads.”
“I better get started on my essay for Professor Grub,” I groan as we trudge inside.
Despite my attempts to return to normality, class has completely wiped me out, and I feel even more drained.
“Are you sure I can’t tempt you into helping me make banana bread?” Delilah wiggles her eyebrows. “It’s way more exciting than homework.”
“Don’t let her be a bad influence, Faye,” Kady mutters, passing us on her way out, arms laden with books. She’s wearing thin, wire-framed glasses that make her look edgy instead of geeky that I’ve never seen before. “I need to take these back to the library.”
“I thought you just got back from the library?” Delilah asks.
“And? I need to go again,” Kady states like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “You can come with me if you’d like, Faye?”
I get the sense they’re taking shifts to look after me, and while it’s sweet, I really just need to be by myself right now.
“It’s okay.” I wave off her offer. “I have all the books I need here.” I’m climbing the steps into Stella House when my cell phone starts ringing. Kady and Delilah freeze.
“It’s okay,” I reassure them after checking the caller ID and seeing their panicked expressions. The Silverwoods were calling incessantly until Kady showed me how to block their numbers. “It’s just my gram. I better take this.”
“Hello, Hedgey!” Gram sings brightly down the line. Hearing her voice is comforting, but it only makes me miss her more. “I’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been in touch. How are you doing?”
I wave goodbye to Delilah then head upstairs.
“Sorry, I’ve … um … been really busy with classes and studying.
” And my heat coming, getting knotted by three alphas who are my scent match, then learning one of them is the kind of alpha I’ve always feared.
Suppressing a groan, I steer the conversation to safer territory. “How are you? How’s the shop?”
“Oh, we’re fine here,” she chirps. I hear the faint sound of bubbling in the background and picture her stirring a large pot over the stove while balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder.
“Do you remember Alice? Lulu’s niece? She’s staying with her for the next few months and has been helping me with the postal orders.
She’s been dancing around the shop, making a real mess for videos that she’s posting online, as you can imagine. ”
I laugh. “That sounds like Alice.”
I haven’t seen her for a few years. When she was younger, she used to stay with Lulu—Gram’s book club bestie and fellow Omega Rights activist—over the summer. Alice is a few years younger than me and is always getting herself into some kind of trouble. She’s also the clumsiest person I’ve ever met.
“But whatever she’s been doing is working!
” There’s no missing the excitement in Gram’s tone.
“We’ve had orders flying out the door all week!
We even shipped some to Europe, can you believe it?
It’s not the same without you, though, Hedgey.
How are your classes? Is Gregory Grub as nice as he sounds in his books? ”
“He’s…” I don’t have the heart to tell her that one of her favorite authors acts like a total douche. “Well, I don’t think he likes me much.”
“Oh?” There goes her excitement.
“He’s got high expectations. That’s all.” I try keeping my spirits up. “I made a new friend in class. An omega called Amora.”
“Another new friend!” she gushes. “How are you settling in at Stella House?”
“The girls are amazing. You’d love them.”
“I hope to meet them one day. And what about clubs or societies? You spent hours searching through the club catalogs before you left.”
Excitedly scouring the internet and flipping through SVU brochures behind the counter at Blooming Brew feels like a lifetime ago.
I can’t help feeling that I’ve disappointed the old version of me, the one who was dreaming of this moment.
Nothing has been like I expected. My time here has been dominated by unexpected heats and the Silverwoods.
My first weeks of college have been eventful for all the wrong reasons.
I’m racking my brain for something to tell her when I remember meeting Nia this morning.
“There’s an Omega Unite rally on campus this weekend. Me and the Stellas are going. I may paint some banners.”
“You’ve had plenty of practice.” She chuckles. “I’ll send some badges down for you all to wear and give out.”
“That’d be great.” I attempt to muster enthusiasm, but my tone falls flat.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Hedgey?” Even at a distance, she can detect changes in my mood, no matter how hard I try to hide them. “You know I can always tell when something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”
As much as I’d love to talk to her about the Silverwoods, I’m afraid of how she’ll react. I know she was already hesitant about me going to a college so far away, and I don’t want to give her another reason to worry when she’s already got so much going on.
“I’m fine.” I chew on my nail. “Just tired, that’s all. It’s been a long day.”
“Alice!” Gram’s shriek almost deafens me, followed by a smash and general commotion. “What the heck are you doing?”
“Sorry, Betty!” I hear Alice in the background. “I thought if I could balance on top of the stool, I’d get a good angle of the rose tea brewing. I didn’t mean to knock over those jars—”
“I have to go, Faye.” Gram sighs, although I can tell she’s not really mad. I’m sure she loves having the extra company, despite the risk of the shop getting destroyed by Alice’s attempts to make viral videos. “Keep in touch, okay? I’m always here if you want to talk. Love you, Hedgey.”
“Love you too,” I murmur, squeezing my eyes shut, trying my hardest not to cry.
I miss her. I miss Blooming Brew. I miss my old life, and more than that, I miss them. The Silverwoods. I stashed all the presents they sent me in my closet because I didn’t have the strength to throw them away, and now, in a moment of weakness, I find myself seeking them.
It’s all I have of them. All I’ll ever have of them.
I grab the striped blanket from Cole and rub my face in it, breathing it in.
I see Mr. Snuggles, staring up at me from the bottom of the box, and my heart breaks as I hold him close.
I can’t hold the tears back any longer. I sob while clutching the soft bear, letting my emotions pour out.
Why did this have to happen, and how is it fair that their scent is exactly what my body needs, even after everything that’s happened?
I sniffle, wiping my eyes. I remind myself of what Damon did and why I’ll never be part of the Silverwood Pack, filling with shame that I sought comfort in their scent. I need to shower their scent off. I have to treat it like any other addiction.
“Faye?” I’m drying off after a long soak when Sabs calls from the other side of my bedroom door. “I’m going out for food, and you’re coming with me. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
I groan and pad to the door, opening it an inch. “I really don’t feel up to it.”
“You haven’t eaten properly for days. After a heat, it’s important that you keep your strength up. You can’t live on Delilah’s desserts forever. We’re going out. My treat.”
Sensing she won’t give up, I look down at my loose gray hoodie with holey sleeves. “Should I change?”
“You’re fine as you are.” She flaps her hand. “Just throw on a pair of sneakers, and we’ll be off.”
I do as she asks then pop on my sunglasses to cover my puffy eyes. “Are Delilah and Kady joining us?”
“They have other plans.” I’m surprised by Sabs’s reply since neither of them mentioned anything to me earlier. “It’s just the two of us. Now come on. Get your tush in the cart!”
She practically drags me out of the house and into the waiting golf cart. As soon as I clip on my seat belt, she hurtles off at full speed.
“Where are we heading?”
Her usual sweet cherry smell is tarter than usual. “Just a little place I know. Oh, come on!” She beeps incessantly at a stop light. “Change already! There’s no one here!”
“Are you okay?” I eye her. “You seem on edge.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me.” She honks the horn again. “I’m just dandy!”
I hang onto my seat as she swerves around the next bend.
As we drive along the road next to the lake, my gaze strays to the other side, to the beach houses where the bonded packs live.
Stupidly, I find myself romanticizing what it would be like to live there with the Silverwoods.
I can visualize it so clearly: Laz playing ball on the beach, Ren reading underneath an umbrella, Cole managing to look sexy as hell while donning an apron and flipping burgers on the barbecue, and Damon…
Thwack! Sabs’s red hair catches the wind and slaps me in the face.
If that isn’t a sign from the universe to pull myself together, I don’t know what is.
We drive in silence down the main street, passing all the usual bars and restaurants, continuing until we’re right on the edge of campus. Fields I remember seeing on my bus ride in stretch out ahead.
“Is it a food festival or something?” I squint to get a better look at a lone giant tent in the middle of a field. It’s eerily quiet, the road completely dead. “Maybe you got the wrong day?”
Sabs pulls to a stop next to a gate adjacent to the structure. “So I have a confession—”
Before she can explain, I spot Laz standing in the tent’s entrance. His scent carries on the breeze, making my chest tighten.
“What’s he doing here?”