Chapter 36 Anika
ANIKA
“Anika,” Miko breathes. The sweet sound of his voice caressing my name sends a violent shiver down my body.
I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe he found me. After three days of hell on earth, I honestly had started to think he decided not to come looking for me at all.
But then, I’ve been very careful—jumping at every shadow, coming out from my hiding place only when the hunger pains are so bad, I’m worried it could harm my child.
I’ve spent so many hours dreading this moment, agonizing over how I’ll possibly run far enough to get away without a single penny to my name.
I never dreamed there could be something worse than surviving on the streets, scared, hungry, and homeless. Until some sick bastard grabbed me from behind to drag me into this alleyway.
And now, with my throat aching and my ears still ringing from oxygen deprivation, I’m about to face the full force of Miko’s wrath.
Only… he doesn’t look angry at all.
He looks… devastated.
That I’m not prepared for.
“Are you alright?” he asks, taking a slow, careful step forward—like one might after cornering a frightened rabbit.
“Y-yes,” I stammer, wrapping my arms protectively around my waist.
Shrugging out of the leather jacket that was hiding his intricate arm tattoos, Miko hooks it on a finger and offers it out to me without a word. With trembling fingers, I accept the gift, biting back a moan of appreciation at the buttery softness of the leather in my hands.
I almost feel bad putting it on when I know how dirty I am. That’s what happens when you go swimming through a dirty lake and are forced to wear the same outfit for days on end because you had your change of clothes stolen.
But the warmth that envelops me as soon as my arms slide into the sleeves is almost enough to make me cry with relief.
And the rich, masculine pine-and-motor-oil scent that clings to all of Miko’s close makes my chest ache with longing.
“Are you going to take me home?” I whisper, uncertain of whether I’m wishing the answer is yes or dreading that it is.
Unexpected pain comes crushing down on me with astonishing force when Miko shakes his head.
“Not if you don’t want me to,” he rasps, unspeakable torment in his eyes. “I’m done trying to make you stay.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I press my lips together as I fight to hold them back. I don’t know why I’m about to cry. Isn’t this what I wanted?
“It broke my heart to find out you’d left,” he says.
“To see the lengths you would go to in order to get away from me. But it also made me realize that, by making you stay when you don’t want to, that was hurting you as well.
And I don’t want to hurt you, Anika, ever.
I would rather cut out my eyes than see you in pain. ”
His words blast through me like a hand grenade, obliterating the walls I thought I’d painstakingly erected around my heart the moment I decided to leave.
I don’t want to hurt Miko either, and it feels like a punch to the gut to realize that’s exactly what I’m doing.
“So,” he says, clearing his throat as his voice grows hoarse.
“I’ve decided to let you go if that’s really what you want—I just want to make sure you get somewhere safe, that you have someone who can look out for you until you get your feet on the ground.
If you’ll let me, I’d like to speak to my brother Leo.
I’m sure he and Sora would take you in.”
“Miko…” I breathe, tears blurring my vision despite how hard I’m trying to hold them at bay.
“Please, Anika,” he begs, every word dripping with agony.
“It kills me to make the offer, but I would rather do that than watch you keep trying to run. One of these days, I might not find you in time, and I can’t stand the thought of someone…
” He swallows convulsively and shakes his head.
“I thought I wasn’t strong enough to live without you.
But now I know that the only thing I’m not strong enough to endure is the day I stumble upon your body because I wouldn’t let you go.
I can’t let you keep risking your life to be free of me. ”
No words have been more terrifying or more beautiful.
And as I watch the strongest man I’ve ever met on the verge of unraveling before me, I know that I’ll never be able to leave Miko.
I’m completely, hopelessly in love with him.
For so long, I’ve been terrified of how little control I’ve had over my life, but now that he’s giving me the choice, I know what I’m not strong enough to live without. And it’s him.
“I want to stay,” I whisper, taking a tentative step forward.
“You do?” Miko asks, confusion and disbelief warring across his face.
“How do you sound surprised that she could want to take you back after the speech you just made?” Gio cuts in from behind his brother’s towering figure. “Hell, I’m nearly convinced I want to be your wife.”
A bubble of laughter that borders on hysterical rushes up from my depths, and I press my fingers to my lips as I try to contain my smile.
Miko chuckles as the tension between us snaps, relief flooding in to fill the gaps in its wake.
Slowly, he takes another step toward me as his blue eyes soften, and as his hands find mine, he sinks to his knees before me. “Will you still be my wife?” he asks, looking up at me with all the sincerity that threatens to steal my breath away.
“Yes,” I murmur, then my face falls in devastation. “But, Miko, I lost my ring,” I confess, my throat tightening with emotion when I think about that terrifying night in the train station.
“This ring?” he asks, pulling it from his pocket to slide it back onto my ring finger.
I gasp, staring down at it in disbelief. “How did you…? Where did you find this?”
“We went all the way to Detroit to get it back,” Gio quips.
Miko casts him a dark look over his shoulder. “Would you butt out?” he demands.
Gio chuckles and shrugs before returning his attention to the ground.
He leans in, his foot pressing down harder on my assailant’s throat as the man makes a move as if to run for it.
“Don’t even try it, buddy,” he growls. “You have a long night ahead of you—starting with a nice cozy ride in the trunk of a car. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t fight it. ”
“Anika?” Miko rasps, bringing my eyes back to him. Rising to his feet, he pulls me into his arms.
“Hmm?” My back arches as my body molds to his, and when I look up into his impossible blue eyes, I don’t know how I ever convinced myself that I could leave him.
The backs of his fingers brush lightly across the apple of my cheek, then trace the line of my jaw as he tenderly cups my face. “I have a hundred questions to ask, but I don’t know where to start—or if I even should.”
“You can ask me anything,” I promise, wrapping my fingers around his palm so I can nuzzle into it.
Pain flickers across his face, closely followed by an aching sadness. “Have you been planning to run all along?”
Heat floods my cheeks as I consider his question.
The simple answer is yes.
I was determined to find my freedom the moment I knew Pyotr was dead.
But I don’t think that’s actually what Miko means. “I mean, obviously I wanted to before I got to know you—before the wedding, I had a hundred different escapes planned out in my mind.”
“And after?” he presses.
“After our wedding night, I kind of just stopped thinking about it. The more I got to know you, the less certain I was that I wanted to run.”
“So, why did you?” he asks, his expression so raw and vulnerable, it brings fresh tears to my eyes.
“Well, I…” There are so many little pieces to the puzzle, so many factors that contributed to my panic, and as I look back now, I try to focus on the ones that feel most relevant. “I overheard you talking to Svetlana—before you told everyone what she said.”
Shock, quickly followed by shame, flashes across Miko’s face, and he closes his eyes against the remorse. “You must have been terrified.”
I nod. “This thing Svetlana told me once kept replaying in my head. She told me that all Novikov men have a poison in their blood that makes them hurt the ones they love, so when I found out you’re actually a Novikov…”
“And then you saw me completely lose my mind,” he finishes.
Again, I nod, then bite down anxiously on my lip, because I don’t know how I’m going to tell him this next part. And before I can pluck up the courage, Miko frowns.
“But you were still in our room when I called a family meeting.”
I blush, knowing the next part is going to be the hardest part. “I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. It wasn’t until you started talking about claiming your birthright that I started to worry you sounded too much like Pyotr.”
“I don’t give a damn about my birthright, Anika,” Miko swears. “If it will make you happy, I’ll let it all go. To hell with uniting the clans to avenge my brothers—”
“Hey,” Gio objects, making me giggle, but Miko just waves him off.
“Seriously, you say the word, and I’m done.”
Warmth fills my chest at the sincerity in his voice.
“Thank you, but I don’t want you to give it up for me.
I was just scared. I knew that I’d fallen in love with you, that I might not be strong enough to leave you for my own sake.
But I was scared about what you might become, and I thought I had to run… to protect our child.”
Miko’s brows buckle, his eyes searching mine. “Our child… You’re pregnant?”
“Yes.”
The excitement that lights his eyes makes me smile, and I laugh as he covers my belly with one large hand, splaying his fingers across it as if he can already feel the life growing inside me.
“I swear to you, I would never do anything to hurt you—either of you. If that day ever comes—if Svetlana’s right that there is some Novikov curse and I do have poison in my blood—I’ll put myself down like a dog before I lay a hand on you.”
“I trust you,” I say simply. And I do. If Miko loves me enough to let me go, that proves he loves me enough to keep me safe—even from himself.
“I don’t know if this makes you feel any better about it, but Svetlana did say she thinks the cycle might be broken since I was taken as a baby,” he adds.
Oddly, even though the words sound rather superstitious, they do still bring me a strange sense of peace.
Throwing my arms around his shoulders, I bury my face in the crook of Miko’s neck.
My heart swells when his powerful arms encase me, pulling me into a fierce hug.
“Christ, Anika,” he breathes after a long moment. “I’m glad you decided you want to stay, because there isn’t a universe in which I could have let you go willingly if I’d known you were carrying our child.”
Giddy relief makes my heart flutter, and I lean in to press my lips to his throat. “Good thing we won’t ever have to test that theory.”
Cradling my face as he combs my hair back with his fingers, Miko leans back to search my face. “God, I love you,” he murmurs.
“I love you too, Miko.”
And when his lips come crashing down on mine, I know that I’ve never been happier than right here in this moment.