Chapter Two Luca
Luca
“Luca! What the hell? If Gideon finds you eavesdropping…”
“I ain’t been droppin’ no eaves, sir, honest,” he whispers back and drops on his butt, gesturing for Rowan to sit beside him.
Gideon had stormed out of the living room and into their home gym, probably to kick the shit out of the heavy bag. His thunderstorm scent was so charged with lightning that Luca swore he could feel it crackling in the air, raising the hair on his arms. It hurt to see Gideon push past his limits, knowing how much his soulmate valued self-control. It hurt him for real—in that soulmate place under his sternum, a deep ache he couldn’t ignore.
He knows that hearing Nix talk about his injuries–past and present–with so much nonchalance made Gideon angry at the same time that it broke Luca’s heart.
Nix hadn’t even sounded like himself—his normally sweet tone, hollow and lifeless. It was terrifying because Luca recognized dissociation when he heard it.
Of course, they wanted him to live in the moment with them, to be happy and carefree. Luca knew all about wanting a life without jagged edges where a single memory could draw blood. That particular philosophy is at the core of how Luca lived his entire life, and he knew he was lucky to be able to do it, too.
He had a career he loved, and with the help of Rowan, Jay, and Leo, as well as their fans, he kept his anxiety manageable. They worked when they wanted, and where they wanted, and with whom they wanted. The others also had careers they enjoyed, and together, they lived a lifestyle of luxury and comfort.
Luca agreed with Finn wholeheartedly: if Nix wanted to be at home and recover, doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing well into the next century, then he damn well could—and they would all be happier for it.
A healthy body and mind that their omega was free to enjoy? What more could they ask for? He could have or be whatever he wanted.
But what Luca witnessed down there from his perch on the balcony was not a healthy mind. To his layperson’s knowledge—and from personal experience—that was repression, disassociation, and denial.
Mixed with his newest instincts as an omega Were? It was all too much.
And there was no road map on how to handle it—there weren’t even any omegas to share his experience with. Society certainly didn’t have omega gender covered in their secondary gender classes.
Most people knew they were going to be an alpha or a beta when they were preteens or even earlier. Early pheromones and behaviors often pointed the finger at a secondary gender, creating awareness well before the late-teen presentation. It meant that Were teens could get the instruction they needed to best handle their secondary gender presentation and beyond.
Nix had more than enough reason to feel overwhelmed with his change, especially given all the reasons why he was a Were in the first place.
“ Rwo ?” He realizes that sounded funny because he’s put two of Rowan’s tattooed fingers in his mouth to soothe himself.
“Hmm?”
Even though Rowan hadn’t been hanging over the balcony railing, he had probably been hiding on the stairs himself when Jay had asked them to give Nix and Riordan room for the examination. Only Grayson had stormed into his room with Leo hot on his heels like they’d been asked . Suck-ups.
Giving the fingers a good suck and a nibble , Luca releases the long fingers. Licking his lips, he dries the digits on his court-mandated (read: Gideon) t-shirt/dress to show gratitude for the comfort.
“Do you think Nix should see someone? He’s really hurting.”
Therapy had helped Luca cope with the shame and guilt he felt about the life he needed. His father had always been nasty about it, but Ruthie, his therapist, always maintained that that was a Dad-issue and not a Luca-issue.
They still worked once a month to be sure Luca was listening to his heart and not his inner critic. In fact, Luca hasn’t heard from that jerkface for the entire week. Oh, he has been anxious, but he hasn’t made himself feel bad about it. He mentally pats himself on the head with a good job, Luca!
He’s been spending too much time worried about Nix to really let his own shit take center stage and maybe a bit too much time thinking about sexing his omega up. Like every other person in the house, Luca is a teeny-tiny bit conflicted about the dichotomous feelings—concern and lust. Round and round.
Rowan groans and rubs a hand down his face, his discomfort at the seriousness of the topic of conversation making his tone frustrated. “Yeah, probably. He doesn’t sound like he would want to, though, right? You heard him. He just wants to forget about it and be happy. I kinda think that’s okay too—like, just move on?”
The young alpha sounds like he hopes that’s exactly what Nix will do. No one wants to think their loved one will continue to suffer.
“Ro. It doesn’t work like that at all. Trauma is like a minefield, or at least, it is in my case. You know how I get. I’m fine one minute, and then boom, something reminds me or triggers my anxiety, and I’m dealing with the fallout.” Rowan squeezes his hand. “I’m lucky because I’ve been working through that stuff with Ruthie for a long time. Nix’s trauma is way different, and he’s still living it in a lot of ways.”
“How’d you get so smart, Luc?”
“I can’t just rely on this fine ass to make it through the world.”
“But you could because it sure is fine.” Rowan’s grin and dimples are irresistible.
It immediately makes Luca suspicious.
“What are you after? Your rut’s this weekend, right? What’s your plan?”
Every alpha has a rut plan, and they usually let their mates know in advance how they want it to progress or who they want to share it with. Rowan has only had three ruts so far and has spent the last two mostly with Leo, Gideon, and Jay.
“I can’t think about anything else but Nix. I know I can’t have him, that he isn’t ready; I mean, he doesn’t even know about being an omega, let alone alpha ruts. So, I can’t expect him to be with me and my wolf is already freaking the fuck out.”
“You should tell Jay and Gideon, for sure.” Secrets like this always end up biting someone in the ass, and not in a fun way.
“They’ve been stressed out, and Gideon is in the gym again. I feel like a shit for adding to the problem. Luc, what if I can’t control it? You saw Grayson at the hospital, what if I lose it?” The young alpha is uncharacteristically uncertain. It’s disconcerting, and Luca’s wolf is more nervous because of it.
“Even if Nix did know about being omega, he might not be ready, anyway. I can’t imagine–”
“What’s an omega or an alpha rut?” Nix is standing at the top of the stairs. “Sounds like something I should know, right?”
“Shit.”
“Shit.”
Neither of them had heard him coming up the stairs, and now they’d done exactly what Gideon had warned Luca against doing. Oops .
“Who’s the lucky soul who gets to enlighten me about this? I’m sure it can’t possibly be any worse than the whole ‘you’re a Were’ talk and ‘your ex tried to kill you’ talk.” He’s smiling, and Luca is sure he thinks it’s a joke, but it’s morbid and awful, and Luca doesn’t know if getting a ‘you have a uterus now and can have babies’ talk would be better.
“Jay! Finnie!” Luca holds out his hand to Nix, who flinches at the loud noise and nudges Rowan over so their omega can slide in between them, back against the balcony wall. “I think it’s a biology question. Maybe a history question? Not a ‘me’ question, that’s for damn sure—so far above my pay grade, I do not have security clearance. Houston, we have a problem.”
Luca knows this conversation isn’t going to be easy. Nix already expressed how the transition being non-consensual had affected his acceptance of the “good” news.
And it was good; he was alive and well physically, but the transition had changed more than just his senses. It had changed his gender, albeit his secondary one, and his instincts were going to reflect that change.
Rowan groans. “Luc. Stop.” He’s surely broadcasting his distress, and Nix looks green. He heaves a breath in, knowing his mocha scent has gone burnt with anxiety.
“Sorry.”
Finnie reaches the top of the stairs first. “Jay is in with Gideon. He said something about letting Gideon go a few rounds with someone who hits back. Are you okay?”
They must look foolish sitting crowded together against the wall like children caught gawking at a grown-up party.
“Not to throw anyone under the bus or anything, but Luca and Rowan want you to tell me about being…what did you say it was? O mega? Also, what is an alpha rut ?”
Luca feels the “bus” drive over him and then back up and do it again when Finn says, “Shit.”
“That’s what they said. By your reactions, this is going to be one of those ‘Were-style’ surprises, right? I gotta say, though, the omitting of need-to-know information is getting fucking tiresome.” Luca smells Nix’s vanilla-sex scent go a bit burnt too, but it’s not as bad as it could be…or will be. He reaches for Nix’s hand to comfort him and himself.
“Baby, it’s nothing bad. At least, I don’t think so, and I don’t think any of our mates do either.”
“I have had a lot of news today, and I think we should get whatever this discussion is out of the way so I can get on with processing it. Luca, you said it’s a biology and a history lesson. Finnie, that’s your wheelhouse, no?”
Finn sighs. Luca does not envy him at all.
“It is. Do we have to do this here? I’d rather not be anywhere you might be able to push me down the stairs or hoist me over the railing.” Finn’s scent is not joking, despite his intentionally light tone. “Let’s go downstairs again. Nix, do you want Jay? I can–”
“I think the four of us can handle it. Come on, you big scaredy-cats, how bad can it be?”