30. Kaiya
Scowling at Jaiel, I walked back to my seat. His smile faltered as I snatched the glass of wine from his hand and took several large gulps. If I was going to have this conversation, it would absolutely be with some alcohol in my fucking system.
Gods, I hated him sometimes.
I finished the glass and watched Jaiel fill another glass and offer it to Liam. The stick-up-his-ass noble refused, jaw tight, glaring at Jaiel and I in wait.
I almost felt bad for the guy, but then remembered he still hadn”t apologized for lying the past two years.
He deserved to be uncomfortable.
”Well, I”ll get us started,” Jaiel said, sitting in the chair beside me. His knee brushed against mine, and I shifted away. ”I”ve always known you were stubborn.” He chuckled. ”But I didn”t realize you were also an idiot.”
Liam narrowed those green eyes, then sighed and turned to look at me. ”Are you also going to insult me?”
”Wh — what?” I stammered. ”No, I —”
”Kaiya and I think what you”re doing is foolish and brash,” Jaiel interrupted, leaning forward. ”Just open your ears and listen to what everyone is telling you for once.”
Liam glared at Jaiel. ”You know why I have to do this.”
”I know you think you have to do it,” Jaiel said, before taking another sip of wine. ”But your reasoning is gremlyn-shit. The council brought forward several suitable alternatives, and you shot down every one without even a second thought.”
Liam shook his head, jaw tight. ”You saw what that wraith did to the wall, didn”t you?” His voice was stiff as he looked between us. ”Imagine what would have happened if it had made it through, or if more had attacked, or if one of our enemies knew that wall was damaged. The damage from this one incident will take us at least a week to fix, and that”s already pushing everyone to their limits.” His hands clenched atop the desk. ”No one wants to listen, but we truly are at the end of our rope. I can”t keep these people safe anymore — not without help.”
”But this marriage only replaces your current problem with a new one,” Jaiel said, leaning forward. ”Your people had good ideas — especially that one about teaming up with the body mages. Why not at least hear them out?”
Liam let out a soft hiss and leaned back in his chair. His mask broke as disgust bled across his face. ”You KNOW why I don”t trust those beasts, Jaiel.”
”I do,” Jaiel said, voice softer. ”But it wasn”t the Shifters who killed your parents.”
”But they failed to protect them!” Liam ground out, green eyes blazing.
”It was tragic, and we all miss them,” Jaiel replied, leaning forward. ”But it was an accident. And the Shifters don”t pillage and raid other groups. Can you really say the same about the Berserkers?”
Liam”s jaw tightened, and he turned to stare at the fire again.
Jaiel”s elbow dug into my side, and I winced.
Forsaken hells. I guess this was as good a time as any to chime in.
”What if we could cure the dragons?” I asked. ”Would that make your situation less desperate?”
Liam looked at me, expression softening briefly. ”Unfortunately, they are too few and too young to be of much use. For now, they need to be protected, not used for protection.”
That made sense.
”Then what exactly has changed to make you feel like you”re out of time?” I asked. ”Surely the attack wasn”t enough to tip the scales that far. From what your Gram, Mirrim, and the council say, they seem to think you can last a while longer without help.”
”Exactly,” Jaiel added. ”Those Berserkers have waited this long. Surely they can be put off longer. Fuck! Isn”t avoiding the betrothal the reason you took that damn mission in Gleyma —”
All of us froze, the past playing between us in an instant.
Liam”s face went completely blank. ”Enough,” he said, voice hard. ”I”ll not change my mind.” He paused, gaze slipping to meet mine. ”Unless there is another reason for me to call it off —”
My throat tightened, and I froze, pinned by those cold green eyes.
Could he tell some piece of me didn”t want his betrothal to go through? It wasn”t logical, but my heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces when I lost him — a wound that still hadn”t fully healed. Yet he”d done nothing since Gleyma to mend that wound, so those emotions were just shadows of their former selves.
He”s not Eli…
Shaking my head and swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned to watch the fire.
”I expected as much,”” he continued, voice devoid of emotion. ”I have heard your concerns and will be proceeding with the betrothal, as planned.”
Jaiel groaned in frustration, and I grimaced, carefully avoiding the glare I could feel the prince directing at me. I”d done my part, as I”d promised Mirrim. Now I had to back off. Further pushing would just drive the wedges deeper between all of us without purpose.
Putting my glass on the desk, I stood and dipped my head. ”In that case, I”m off to bed.”
Liam nodded. ”Yes, that”s probably for the best.”
”Wait,” Jaiel said, grabbing my arm again. ”We can”t end on that note. You sure you don”t want to stay for a bit?” His blue eyes were wide, almost pleading. ”I could fetch some more wine, and we can all complain about how everything is Lynk”s fault …”
Jaiel wasn”t wrong, but I couldn”t bring myself to accept his invitation or even reciprocate his smile. The best thing now would be for me to leave.
Tugging my arm away, I shook my head. ”Have a good night, you two,” I said, stepping back toward the door. ”Jaiel, don”t drink too much. And make sure you find a companion for the night.” My voice caught, but I pushed through. ”I need your charisma to be replenished for the mission.”
”Oh, I will,” he said, arm dropping to his side. ”Sleep well, Princess.”
Nodding, I slipped through the door and walked to my room, ignoring the way my stomach twisted at the thought of them with other women.
What was with these damn feelings? Those men were both complete assholes, and I should be glad to be rid of them. More than that, I should be happy for them moving forward in their lives.
Perhaps these feelings were just the normal pain of healing … like working scar tissue while recovering from a wound.
Yes. That was it. The pain was normal and good.
Everything would be fine so long as I focused on it and the mission.