Abraham
Having Polly calling me Bonemangler like that was more painful than I expected.
Even though it was my name. Even though it was how I’d seen myself for decades.
I was a brutalizer, a mangler, a breaker. I broke shit.
I rarely had to put it back together.
At first, I’d told her to call me Abraham, because for some reason Bones sounded strange in her mouth.
But then, it became something I liked. Because she was the only one who got to call me a name that didn’t relate to my job as MC Prez. Something that didn’t have anything to do with violence or brutality.
But I hadn’t acted like Abraham with her. I’d acted like Bonemangler.
For a moment, I could not get one word out.
“I told you never to drive that car. Ever. It’s too dangerous.”
Fuck, that wasn’t what I meant to say.
I saw a shadow pass over Polly’s face, and she turned away with a little shrug. Panic loosened my tongue.
“No! The fact of the matter is, I missed you.”
She still looked stony-faced at me, and I felt sweat drip down the back of my shirt.
Where was my sunshiney girl?
“I didn’t mean what I said.”
Still she stared at me.
“I shouldn’t have said those things to my brother. They weren’t true.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t get any more of that mothering shit you were so offended by.”
“No! That’s what I’m—trying to tell you. I liked what you did.”
“I don’t believe you,” Polly scoffed.
“I’ve been doing all that shit! I switched over to green tea instead of whiskey at night. You were right about that. Been eating all those vegetables. My blood sugar is way better now. I’m checking it every morning. And look!”
I waved over to where the Christmas tree was decorated. Kind of crooked and maybe it looked a little bit shit, but there were popcorn balls and cranberry strings.
And she shrugged. Actually shrugged.
My heart sunk.
I hated to see Polly like this. Her face shuttered away and expressionless. There was pain in her eyes that hadn’t been there before, and she wasn’t smiling.
This wasn’t my happy, bubbly girl at all. My words had hurt the kindest and best woman in the world. The one person I should have never run my mouth to.
I did not want to think about the weakness I had displayed, because it had been weakness, to lie about Polly and what she meant to me.
Unc was right that I had acted like a stupid boy.
“Polly, you have to believe me—”
“Why?” she asked, crossing her arms. “Why should I believe you?”
“I was embarrassed—“ I began.
“Embarrassed of me?”
“No—of course not. Embarrassed of--my brother seeing any weakness. Knowing any weakness. That’s not how we were raised. My father fucked club bunnies all his life. Never was without a woman. Zero respect for his ol lady.”
Her eyes were so wide. Would she think I was too fucked up for another chance?
“And I was the same damn way. Until I met you.”
Still her face was cold and remote, and I started to feel panic crawl along my spine.
“I’m working on being less of an idiot,” I added. “If you come back I promise things will be better.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
I heard a little tap on the glass and a big poster board was shoved up in one of the Shop windows, with somebody’s shitty handwriting on it.
I RESPECT WOMEN AND DO NOT THINK THEY’RE JUST PUSSY
Oh, god. Was I doing so badly that these fuckers were trying to help?
“I suppose you’ve kidnapped me to get your free pussy back.”
“No,” I said swallowing hard and trailing along behind her as she walked into the clubhouse.
“I don’t—that’s not what this is about. I want you back first. Then we can—talk about the rest. Which—obviously--I want to,” I gritted out, in case she thought I didn’t want to have sex or had turned into a monk.
Because I had not, and every little motion she made sent a pulse of desire down to my dick.
To think I’d had freeuse of her sexy as hell body and had thrown it all away.
“I forgot some of my clothes in here,” she said. “I’m just retrieving them, so don’t get the idea I want anything to do with your penis.”
I tensed as she walked in the bedroom.
Because I’d painted the whole thing a buttercup yellow. And stenciled little white daisies and orange sunflowers on the windowsill. Because that seemed like something she might like.
But Polly said nothing.
She looked over at where I had laid out the painstakingly put-together quilt on the bed.
Surely here she’d see that I meant what I said. The quilt would demonstrate that I’d been a dipshit, and was sorry, and we could start again.
But she had no response, only staring at it silently for a moment, then turning away.
“Take me back.”
“No!” I barked out, panic seizing me. “You belong here.”
I belatedly remembered as she raised a cool eyebrow at me that I was supposed to be working on becoming a new and improved man.
“Sorry. I meant please.” I licked my lips. “Please listen to me. Let me make it right.”
Now was the time to say it. I’d never said these words to another human in my life.
I’d said the words “get your pussy over here” and the words “suck my cock” and also, many times, “I’ll tell you when I want pussy,” but I’d never said these particular ones.
Now I was sweating profusely. My neck and wrists felt slick as hell, and the back of my shirt was sticking to my skin.
“Polly, I—love you.”
I waited, painfully.
Wait, this fucking sucked. What the fuck? She was supposed to say it right back.
Because come on, she had to love me.
But Polly just stood there, wrinkling her nose at me, gnawing that full lower lip with her teeth.
Her curly hair was a mess coming out of the helmet, spiraling all over her head in cute brown and silver curls.
Her arms were crossed over her chest, those big ol titties sitting mouth-wateringly forbidden in front of me.
“Oh, you think you can sweet-talk your way out of this?”
I didn’t know why the hell Polly didn’t believe me, but the main thing I’d tried to learn was not to say the dumb shit that popped into my head.
My status as MC Prez meant nothing here. I couldn’t blast and bulldoze my way into Polly loving me. If I wanted that, I had to be patient.
“Polly, I promise this is how I really feel.”
“Please. If I forgive you, you’re just going to go back to your old ways.”
“No! I swear I won’t.”
“All you care about is your status. You don’t want a relationship, you just want a hole. That’s what you said. So go find someone else. That’s not going to be me.”
“No! I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I gave into that toxic shit. That’s not how I feel about you at all. I love you.”
“Toxic shit? Someone show you how google works all of a sudden?”
“No. Well, maybe.”
“Well, a few buzzwords from some article you read isn’t going to change my mind.”
I shifted anxiously. I was fucking this up. This was not how it had gone in my head.
“Polly, I was a fucking mess while you were gone.”
“Unlike me, who really loved you advertising my holes to your brother.”
“I did not advertise your holes. In fact, I fucked him up when he said he wanted you.”
She looked unmoved.
“Plus, I need your help.”
“Oh really?”
“Because you were right. About everything. I’m fucked up and bitter. The first thing I want to do is find out if my mother is still living. And I want to bring her back to visit you.”