Nine
Paisley
I had one last errand before leaving for Palermo.
I had to visit Sarah.
One day before the trip, I managed to sneak away from work, citing a dentist visit to ensure Travis would never find out I’d broken his rule.
As I sat in Sarah’s living room, having wasted precious time with small talk, I knew I had to tell her what was on my mind. We’d spent hours reminiscing about our time together as a family, but now, I was eager to get to the real question. How was she connected to Rubi’s disappearance?
“Do you know what a red herring is, Sarah?” I asked, spooning sugar into my tea. Sarah always made it sweet, so I added some to her cup as well, watching closely for a reaction.
“No,” she said blankly, accepting her drink and taking a small sip. “Why?”
“Rubi was obsessed with those mystery novels, remember?” I sighed. “All those whodunnits she read. Well, she told me all about red herrings. I think she called them false trails. Something you follow, thinking it’s a clue, but ends up being a joke played on you by the author. So why don’t you tell me…”
I leaned forward, for the first time noticing nervousness in my foster mother’s gaze.
“Are you just a red herring? Or are you a clue?”
She put the teacup down, some of the liquid sloshing over the porcelain, but I didn’t take my eyes off her. She was showing no visible reaction.
“You’re confusing me a bit,” Sarah smiled. “What’s this about? One of those detective novels Rubi read all the time?”
“Exactly.” I leaned back. “Why did you text me those two words, Sarah?”
Now, I finally got a reaction out of her. She flushed a dark pink and looked away, as if the sight of me was too much for her to bear. “I…”
Waiting for her reaction, I couldn’t help leaning forward again. “Please, Sarah. I need an answer. I need something. I need to find Rubi.”
Sarah looked at me, her eyes filling with tears. “Then… you should go with your boyfriend to Sicily. If you really want to find her, I mean.”
I tried to hide my surprise, realizing it was all she was going to say. I nodded curtly and got up. “Don’t send me any more text messages like that, Sarah. I don’t trust you anymore.”
“Paisley, I did what I had to do,” she managed while I scoffed.
“Once you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me,” I muttered as I got out of the apartment.
We landed in Palermo on a warm day in September, and I marveled at the sights Sicily had to offer.
Travis drove our rental car down the narrow streets, barely managing to park it in the atrium of a small apartment building. We carried our suitcases up to the top floor, where there was a gorgeous view of the azure sea.
The apartment was a far cry from the quiet luxury I’d come to expect from Travis’ family, but I didn’t let that deter me. I threw the billowing white curtains open, enjoying the warm and salty breeze coming from the sea. Travis cracked open a beer waiting for him in the fridge while I unpacked, and slipped into the bathroom.
Giddy with excitement, I forgot all about my jet lag as I took a quick shower. Once I’d dried off, I applied some red gloss on my lips, and put on a black triangle-cut bikini with gold chains.
I decided on a white lace cover up over my black swimsuit, stashing a beach read into my tote along with a pair of oversized sunglasses, and an older scent from Georges at work. The particular perfume bottle was a mermaid’s tail, the pink blending into purple glitter as I held it up in front of the sunlight pouring through the window.
I sprayed some on my wrists. The juice was delectable, though I’d come to expect no less of Georges. Tahitian vanilla mixed with pears and brown sugar blended with a sharp tang of lemon on my warm skin. I sighed with content.
I was excited to get a tan to show off to my coworkers at home. Slathering sunscreen over my skin, I vowed to go for a swim right away. It was morning in Europe, and I was starting to feel some wanderlust.
Besides, Travis and I both deserved this holiday. We worked hard. Now it was time to play harder.
I emerged from the bathroom in a fruity, sweet cloud of perfume, and kissed Travis on the cheek impulsively. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as he sat on the couch, flicking through the foreign TV channels. I felt carefree for the first time in ages.
“Coming to the beach?” I asked him as I pulled my glasses out of the tote and perched them on top of my head.
“Nah, babe, it’s too damn hot,” Travis muttered. “Turn the damn AC on, would you?”
Disappointment washed over me, but I didn’t let it last long. We had a full week to explore Palermo, but I also wasn’t going to sit around and wait for my boyfriend to be in a good mood. I was going for that swim.
“Well, I’m going out!” I forced myself to sound cheerful as I clicked the AC on.
“Like that?” Travis asked, his voice full of doubt. I ignored his tone and put the remote down.
I turned around to find Travis staring at me accusingly. I smoothed down my lace cover up, feeling self-conscious. “We’re right by the beach, Trav. Everyone was dressed this way when we came up from the street earlier.”
“It’s like you’re fucking asking for trouble,” he shook his head with disappointment. “You think nice girls go out dressed like that? You need someone to go with you in that outfit.”
“I look fine,” I replied, fluffing my hair, even though my conscience was telling me to have another look in the mirror. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was dressed too casually, but the apartment was right by the beach.
“Suit yourself,” Travis muttered, sinking back into the couch. “Just don’t call me if some creep gives you trouble.”
I swallowed the bitter reply on the tip of my tongue, rolled my eyes, and quietly made my way out of the apartment. The sound of the blaring TV had taken over before I even reached the bottom of the stairwell. I winced. The neighbours were bound to complain about us, but I’d worry about that later.
I pulled out my phone and took photos of everything. A stray cat rubbed around my legs and I petted him under the chin. I snapped a shot of a lemon falling fresh from the tree.
As I walked down the cobblestone streets, one thing became clear in my mind - I needed to seriously consider dropping my boyfriend.
I remembered all the things I’d discovered years ago about his cheating with newfound clarity. I was wrong back then. The way I’d pushed it all down, ignored it, because I felt I always owed him for the life I had. Without him, I’d be nothing, and even though Travis didn’t put it in those words, he didn’t need to. We only had our home because of his parents. Without the McCormack family’s goodwill, I’d quickly be reduced to nothing.
I kept walking until I reached the neighborhood’s strip of beach. We were lucky the apartment was in a more local area, and there weren’t tons of tourists swarming the sand. The sea was absurdly blue, and a gentle breeze made me feel like I was in paradise as I got a takeaway ice latte.
I found a cheap plastic lounger and rented it for the rest of the day at an extortionate price. I told myself I was on holiday, and it was a once in a lifetime thing.
How many times would I come to Europe? Probably never again. Especially if I was going to walk away from Travis and the security of our home and my life with him.
It wasn’t like I didn’t make enough on my own. But the living situation would be a problem. Would I be able to afford rent in the city on my own? Probably not. Though I wasn’t against living with other people, I didn’t have any friends to ask, either. I’d always kept to myself at work. Now, I was starting to regret it.
I decided to ask about the loan once I was back home. I didn’t think Georges would turn me down. He always complimented my skills at work, and I was promoted often.
The beach provided a welcome comfort from the annoying, nagging voice in my head. I tore through my book, lamenting the poor thing when a waiter spilled a drink on me, soaking the pages. I paid for another overpriced latte and relished every sip of the damn thing.
I stayed, glued to my book, until the beach cleared up a little. Most of the locals there with little kids had left, so I finally got up and bolted for the water. I was still wearing my lace cover-up, feeling anxious after Travis’ unnecessary comments.
The water was warmer than soup, and I grinned as I sank into the sea. Salt clung to every inch of my skin as I dove in, making my way for a plastic yellow buoy marking the spot swimmers were allowed to go up to. Beyond it, boats and yachts bobbed on the waves, and faraway silhouettes jumped into the sea from their built-in piers.
I dove underneath the waves myself, relishing every second underwater. Despite my lesser than ideal circumstances, I’d learned to swim at school, but I’d never been in the sea before. This experience was completely different, and I felt giddy with excitement as I swam through the waves the boats were making. No way this could compare to a pool.
I sprang up for air by the buoy, holding onto it for support. In front of me, beyond the boats, I witnessed the most magnificent sunset. I wiped the saltwater away from my eyes as the sun sank into the horizon, memorizing every second.
I’d deal with Travis and both his parents, but the trip was worth it for this sight alone.