Eighteen
Paisley
A nger bubbled under my surface as I participated in Hawkes’ staring contest. He wasn’t letting up, but neither was I. Still, my breath hitched at the thought of Glasgow returning. He’d have to come back soon, and take me back to my cage. Then God knows when I’d have the chance to see Hawkes again?
I had to start playing along. I needed to think of something that would keep him tethered to me. I’d lie if I had to. Anything to get out of Glasgow’s prison. I wasn’t going to be a slave anymore, and I’d slit his throat myself if I had to.
I sized up Hawkes. Could I take him?
Definitely not, but I knew I’d claw his eyes out before I let him push me back into hell.
“What’s on your mind, Paisley?” Hawkes asked. “More ways to fuck up my life?”
“Just one.” I dropped my eyes to my naked lap. I was still covered in writing from what those people had done to me. I was desperate for a shower so I could scrub the nasty words off. I prayed Rubi would forgive me for what I had to do, and vowed to bring her home myself if I had to. “Your daughter… she’s dead.”
I was glad it was dark in the car so he couldn’t see my cheeks flushing a dark pink. “He killed her, okay? He killed her. Glasgow killed her. She’s dead. Dead.”
“I heard you the first time,” Hawkes barked, and for the first time, I felt true emotion creeping into his voice. He was clearly shaken up, turning away from me to face the window. He stared at the city skyline while I bit my bottom lip raw. “How sure are you?”
“I’m sure,” I managed. “I saw him do it…”
He said nothing for a while, his fists clenched into fists so tightly I thought the veins of his knuckles would burst open from the pressure. I was lying, of course. I still didn’t fully understand why, but at that point, I was becoming so desperate, I would have risked my best friend for my own freedom.
I knew what I was doing was wrong, and that I’d spend eternity in hell for telling such a wicked lie. It didn’t matter. I would have done anything to get away from Glasgow. From his daily rapes, from the cursed house and his cruel punishments. It was only going to get worse, and if I dared to forget that for a second, my captor was quick to remind me.
A part of me hoped Hawkes’ attention would now shift to me.
That I would become precious, dear to him, and he would try to save me instead.
“I want to offer you a deal,” Hawkes finally muttered, and I nodded eagerly while he continued staring out of the window. “I want that man dead. I want him to suffer. So…”
He finally turned to look at me again, his eyes blazing in the moonlight. “I want you to deliver me his bones. One by one or all at a time, it’s up to you. But I want every single one.”
I swallowed thickly. “There are 206 bones in a human body…”
He nodded. “That’s right. I want him dead.”
“You can’t expect me to kill him,” I managed. “He’s constantly surrounded by guards. I’ll never get the chance.”
A slow smile crept over Hawkes’ lips. “I know.”
My own lips tightened into a line. He’d effectively extinguished any hope I’d had of him saving me. He took in Rubi’s make-believe death in stride, and was already thinking about his vendetta. In the meantime, I was forgotten once again.
Ever since I’d met him, I knew Hawkes blamed me for his daughter’s disappearance, but the coldness with which he was treating me now cut deeper than ever.
“I’ll do it,” I hissed, picking myself up from the chair. “But you… You’ll have to live with the knowledge you condemned me forever.”
“Don’t blame me for your own actions,” Hawkes smirked. “I think your Master is on his way.”
“He’s not my-”
The door opened and Glasgow strode in. My cheeks burned as I slid to my knees, the usual way I had to greet him whenever he graced me with his presence. He walked up to me and I grit my teeth as I kissed his steel-capped boot.
I hated the monster with every fiber of my being. Of course, I hated Hawkes too, but at least he’d offered me a way out, unlike Glasgow. That bastard was never going to let me go.
He was irredeemable, while a part of me still believed I could save Hawkes from his own damnation.
“Hawkes,” Glasgow exclaimed as I planted my lips on his boot, leaving behind a lipstick print. I closed my eyes, humiliated beyond belief, and brimming with rage that Hawkes did nothing to stop it. “A pleasant surprise, to see you finally accept my invitation to check out the club.”
“What’s up with the mask?” Hawkes hissed while I leaned back on my heels, keeping my eyes trained on the floor like Glasgow always demanded. My heart pounded at the unexpected question.
As far as I knew, Glasgow always wore that damn thing. He didn’t ever take it off when he was fucking us.
I snapped my eyes to Hawkes, seeing him engaging in a staring bottle, with Glasgow this time. I got an overwhelming feeling the two had met before. The intensity as they glared was obvious to everyone in the room, and more guards entered, their fingers at the ready on the guns behind their backs.
This could get bloody.
I instantly imagined all the things Glasgow had done to my friends. He was ruthless and bloodthirsty - if he wanted, he’d have Hawkes dead with a click of his fingers. I was still unsure how powerful Hawkes himself was - though there seemed to be a level of respect between the two men, I could tell they despised each other.
“What do you mean?” Glasgow finally asked. “You know I always liked the… theatrics. You used to make fun of me for it.”
“That was when you were my friend,” Hawkes said in a hushed tone. “What are you now?”
Glasgow laughed, the sound hollow and threatening as he took a step closer. Hawkes took a step back when he tried to pat him on the back. “I’m the top dog now, and man, is the air clear at the fucking top… Is this what it was like back in the day for you?”
I thought the room would ignite from the tension enveloping us.
Glasgow turned his back to me, and I saw a long, serrated knife in his hand. I froze.
Was he going to kill Hawkes?
I jumped to my feet without thinking and tugged on Glasgow’s free hand. It was a risky move - one I knew could get me in a world of trouble, but I was willing to risk it to protect Hawkes.
I forced myself to say, “I’m tired, Master… Can you please take me home and take care of me?”
Glasgow turned masterfully, the knife slipping into a guard’s hand. I watched his eyes through the mask, burning with questions. He leaned forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, a rare moment of gentleness between us. I forced myself not to bite his hand off and spit the bones out at Hawkes.
“Let’s go home then,” he said darkly, and I swallowed, knowing what that edge in his voice meant.
He was excited to hurt me.
Glasgow had a collection of implements and tools he liked to use on us, and I had no doubt I’d be introduced to a new world of pain that night. But I was willing to accept it, to protect Rubi’s Dad.
I owed her that much for the lie I told.
“Say goodbye to my friend,” Glasgow demanded, eyes blazing as he motioned to Hawkes. “Properly.”
I was instantly terrified. Glasgow hated sharing, and he was insanely jealous. Was this a test? Would he send a bullet through my skull if I tried to even acknowledge Hawkes?
Would this man protect me the same way I’d done for him?
“I hope you had a pleasant night,” I managed awkwardly, while Glasgow sighed with exasperation.
“Come on, slave, I taught you better than that,” he seethed. “Kiss his feet.”
Flaming with embarrassment, I glanced at Hawkes to see if he’d put a stop to this. He was deathly quiet, not saying a peep, and my lips pursed in annoyance the longer he took to do anything.
Then, I felt it. The tip of a knife digging into my back. Glasgow’s this time. The one I’d seen earlier.
“Say goodbye,” Glasgow warned me, a low whisper in my ear.
I dropped to my knees.
My shaky palms found their place on the hardwood and I leaned in, kissing Hawkes’ Italian leather loafers while Glasgow laughed.
“She sure is well trained,” Hawkes muttered thoughtfully, and I could practically feel the pride emanating from Glasgow. Sick fucking bastards, all of them. “Are you looking to get rid of her any time soon?”
I picked myself up, hiding behind Glasgow. I was surprised at Hawkes’ question, but even though I knew he was never going to save me, my heart sped up with unspoken hope. Maybe he’d throw me a bone this time… Maybe he’d get me away from Glasgow.
“You in the market for a slave?” Glasgow scoffed. “Didn’t take you for the type.”
I watched Hawkes’ jaw tic. Uncomfortable silence lay on the room, and I could feel Hawkes staring at me, drinking me in.
“How much would you want for her?” he asked.
This seemed to stir something in Glasgow. He took a step forward, roughly pushing me behind him. A guard separated me from the others, and I could just peek at the scene from my vantage point.
“Is the slave yours, Hawkes?” Glasgow demanded. “Is she your fucking property?”
Hawkes didn’t answer. I was sure the whole room would go up in flames just from the way they were facing off. Fear and terror made my heart pound in equal measure.
“Is she yours?” Glasgow repeated. This time, his words were a mere growl. “Answer me now, Rizzo.”
He spat the last name out like it was an insult. I watched Hawkes’ shoulders tense before he looked him straight in the eye. “No, she’s yours.”
“Then don’t fucking look at her like she belongs to you,” Glasgow hissed, punctuating every word by stabbing a finger into Hawkes’ chest.
The tension in the room was palpable, and I was terrified.
“Stay away from my property,” Glasgow threw out over his shoulder, before grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me out of there so quickly, I tripped over my own feet.
He couldn’t get me out of there fast enough.
The whole ride home, he spent sullenly staring out of the window like a child throwing a tantrum.
By then, I was starting to realize Hawkes and Glasgow had a past… and there was a competition going on between them. Currently, I was a coveted prize. One they couldn’t and wouldn’t share.
But I knew I would have switched Glasgow with Hawkes any day.
Still, the truth was, with either of them, I’d never be safe. I’d known that for a long time.
Even when I was dating Travis, I accepted a risk - I knew he was lying, yet I stayed. I knew his father was a bad man, yet I stayed. Deep down, I knew he had more to do with Rubi’s disappearance than he let on. And yet I convinced myself he wouldn’t hurt me.
I trusted one wrong man already, and it landed me a ticket straight to hell.
Glasgow placed shackles on me once we got in the car. I stared at my bound wrists as we drove back to his mansion, wondering if I’d ever truly be free again.
No matter how fast I ran, these people would catch up to me. And with nothing left to fantasize about, I dreamt of extracting bone after bone from Glasgow’s body and proudly delivering them to Rubi’s father.
Maybe that would finally absolve me of my guilt.