Chapter 25 #2
I stood, brushing the crumbs from my lap, avoiding looking at him. God, leave it to me to completely misread the situation.
But I hadn’t attacked his face, had I? No, he’d kissed me back.
“Jess,” he said softly, the regret in his tone making me wince. “Look at me.”
I took a fortifying breath. Then, slowly, I lifted my face and forced myself to zero in on him.
“I’m sorry about that.” He swallowed thickly, his throat working. “I got carried away. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Oh God, this was mortifying. I scuffed the loose cobblestone with the toe of my sandal, wishing the ghost of Paul Revere would ride through here on his horse and save me from my utter humiliation.
He sighed. “Wanna keep walking?”
I nodded, desperate to get away from the confusing moment we’d just shared. I’d thought it was a magical kiss, a transcendent experience. But clearly, I was alone in that.
One would think that after the failed marriage, I’d stop romanticizing every little thing. God, I was an idiot.
We headed down Hanover Street and back toward the waterfront, hugging the piers as we zigzagged along Boston Harbor, silent the whole way.
With each block, my embarrassment grew until I was certain it would consume me.
But he had leaned in. He had kissed me back. I replayed the moment over and over, certain that I hadn’t made that up. About the time we made it to Fan Pier, the embarrassment turned to anger.
We’d sat side by side, eating pizza in our spot, flirting. He’d been the one to grasp my arm. He’d been the one to lean in like the hero in a goddamn movie.
“What the hell?” I finally snapped, stopping at the railing and focusing on a massive container ship out in the distance.
He came to stand beside me, silent.
I waited for a family with a stroller to walk by before I turned and poked him in the chest. “You kissed me back,” I hissed quietly. “You leaned.” With a groan, I threw my hands up. “You were into the kiss, and it was a good fucking kiss. How dare you act like it was a mistake?”
My body temperature rose with each accusation. We’d been dancing around this for weeks. He’d whisked me and my kids off to Boston for a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. How could I not read into all of that?
“Jess.” He grasped my hand, his palm warm. “Jess, please listen.”
He was even more handsome in the moonlight reflecting off the harbor, shadows making the sharp angle of his jaw even more prominent.
“It was a great kiss,” he said, giving my hand a squeeze. “And yes, I leaned. I wanted it desperately. I want you desperately.”
My heart thudded heavily. What?
I swallowed, collecting my thoughts. “You want me?”
He cupped my cheek and took a step forward so we were standing almost chest to chest.
“So fucking much,” he growled. The sound was full of determination, but an instant later, his face fell, and he hung his head.
“But I can’t. You’re my client. I’ve tried to manage these feelings, but I only have so much self-control.
And then you kissed me, and it was like every dream I’ve ever had coming true. ”
My stomach fluttered. He felt it too. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.
But… “Who cares if I’m your client?”
He rested his hands on my waist, bringing me closer. “The New Jersey Bar Association cares. A lot. It’s not ethical.”
Screw the New Jersey Bar Association. I didn’t want this night to end. I didn’t want this trip to end. The last thirty-six hours had been truly magical, and I had this man to thank for it.
“What if…” I trailed my fingers up his chest and ran my nails through the scruff of his jaw.
“What if we just let go and see what happens? We’re not in New Jersey.
This entire trip has been magical. What if, just for tonight, we’re not lawyer and client, but two people who can’t keep their hands off each other? ”
He gave me a sad smile. “We can’t.”
“Brian.” I popped up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly. “I am just a mortal woman.”
As I pulled back, I studied his face, noting the desire in his eyes, the way his lips parted. I kissed him again, a bit longer this time.
“You can’t expect me to resist you,” I whispered. “Especially here. My kids are having the time of their lives with your sister, and I have a massive hotel suite all to myself.”
He looped an arm around me, pulling me flush against him, and captured my mouth in a searing kiss.
“Fuck,” he growled into my mouth. “Jess.”
“I am an exhausted single mom,” I confessed.
“I have no idea what the future holds. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot fight my attraction to you.” Hands on his chest, I peered up at him through my lashes.
“And if you truly meant it when you said you wanted me, then let’s do this.
Let’s go back to the hotel and give ourselves a night to take what we want. ”
“One night?”
“Yes. One night where I’m not putting my kids first and you’re not putting your career first. Where we live only in the moment.”
His breath hitched. “What if I want more than a moment?”
Unease curled around the desire coursing through me. There it was. The slippery slope. The promise of a perfect man who would ride up on a white horse and solve all my problems. That was a fantasy, not real life. I’d learned that the hard way.
Our lives were going in different directions. We could never be more than a brief moment. But I wanted our moment. And dammit, I’d earned it.
“It’s all I can give.” I stroked his beard. “Take it or leave it, Machon. You want to come up to my hotel suite, get naked, and ravage me?”
He kissed me again, sloppy and desperate, and pulled back, out of breath and eyes wild.
“Fuck yes, I’ll ravage you.”