Chapter 39
Brian
“Are you sure you can deliver it this weekend?” I asked into the phone.
Lo passed by, her brows high on her forehead, and I gave her a thumbs-up.
Kit had an audition at the Professional Performing Arts School this afternoon, and we’d planned a little celebration for after.
T. J. and Murphy had made signs using glitter, and Lo had picked up balloons, ice cream, and cake.
Greta had been putting a playlist together for the dance party, and I was going to top it off by showing her the piano I’d purchased for my brownstone.
“Yes, sir. We’re the best piano movers in Brooklyn. Been doing this for generations.”
“And you’ll tune it once it’s in position?”
“Yes. The tuner is on standby.”
“Thank you for the last-minute help.” With a harsh breath out, I ran a hand through my hair.
I was so nervous for her. Kit had not stopped practicing in the last two weeks. She’d pushed herself so hard, her dedication impressive. It was a long shot, but just the chance to audition was a big deal.
And while I was nervous, Jess was a full-on disaster. She’d shown up at the office the other day wearing mismatched shoes because she’d been up half the night worrying and could barely think straight.
“Thanks again for the Metros tickets.” He laughed. Ernie and I had worked out an understanding that had helped me jump to the top of his waitlist.
While Jess and I had only talked casually about moving into the brownstone together, it was important to me that the girls felt comfortable there.
So I was turning the formal living room into a music room for Kit and the basement into a game and playroom for Greta.
The foosball table and giant beanbag chairs had been far easier to source than a Steinway baby grand piano.
A home I’d been so ambivalent about a few months ago had now become an incredible opportunity. Sure, I’d miss the camaraderie we’d created while living in the Jersey apartment, but things had changed. We’d changed.
Cal and Sully had been my best friends before, but now we were brothers.
We’d survived Terry’s death, saved the firm, and fixed our lives all in the span of twelve months.
The circumstances that had originally felt like a prison sentence had freed us.
They’d allowed us to grow and change in incredible ways.
And I could not wait for what was next.
I rolled my shoulders and checked the clock. I’d have to leave by noon to get to the city in time. The audition was closed, but I planned to meet them for the school tour and then wait in the hall with Jess while Kit played for the admissions committee.
We’d head to the Jersey apartment after and surprise Kit with our little family celebration.
I’d also get to surprise the girls with the changes I’d made to the brownstone.
While it had been a challenge to find alone time with Jess over the past couple of weeks, the two of us had been having a lot of fun.
The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted.
After years of playing it safe and avoiding risks at all costs, I was ready to jump off a cliff for her and her kids.
I was packing up when the phone rang.
“Landon?”
“It’s the old man,” he said. His voice was strained, as if he’d been crying. “We don’t have much time.”
My heart sank into my stomach. We’d known Cliff didn’t have a lot of time left, but he’d looked so good last month when I dropped by with papers to sign.
I held on to my desk to steady myself. This was one of the hardest parts of my job, but it was the most important. Making sure my clients, people who had become friends, felt supported so they could leave this world unburdened.
Grief swelled inside me. It didn’t matter that he had lived a long life. Each time I lost someone, emotions that had clung to me my whole life came rushing to the surface. The helplessness and sadness flooded in, and once again, the hole in my life where my mother had been yawned open.
Despite the pain, this was why I’d gone into family law. So I could help people get their lives in order. So I could give them a modicum of control over the uncontrollable—death.
“What can I do?” Mentally, I created a to-do list, considering which forms I’d need and which paperwork to file with the state to ensure the plans we’d spent years carefully crafting were carried out to his precise instructions.
“He wants to see you,” Landon said. “We’re at the Alpine house. How fast can you get here?”
I rarely got a chance to say goodbye to clients, so this was a blessing. And Cliff was so much more than a client. He had been my friend and a mentor for fifteen years.
“I’m on my way,” I said, checking my watch. I’d figure out how to get to the audition later.
Once I disconnected the call, I fired off a quick text to Jess that something had come up and I’d meet her at the school. Then I grabbed my keys and headed for the car, praying I’d make it in time.
As I rolled toward the gates of the Phillips estate, they creaked open slowly. Landon met me at the entrance and ushered me inside, where the sunroom, which faced the large garden, had been converted into a makeshift hospital room.
The hospice nurse greeted me with a kind expression and led me to Cliff’s bedside. He looked tiny and frail tucked beneath the sterile sheets and blanket, but he had a big smile on his face.
“Brian, so glad you could stop by.” His tone was breezy, his words a little slurred.
Tears threatened as I took him in. And when I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out. So I resorted to squeezing his hand instead.
“Sit with me for a bit.” He pointed to a wooden chair next to his bed, and when I was settled, he gestured to the garden. “Isn’t it glorious?”
It really was. A wild riot of color blanketed the grounds, and the sun shone down, its light bringing extra magic to the setting.
“Betty and I loved this room. We’d sit in here and stare out at the flowers, talking about our days. She loved those flowers. Chose and planted every single one.”
The pride in his voice made my chest ache.
“I want to go home to her,” he said softly.
I blinked back tears. I was here to support him, so I was determined not to make even an instant of this about me.
“It’s no fun here without her.”
I swallowed once, then again, searching for an appropriate response. When my mind came up blank, I focused on breathing and took in the colors and the shapes and the sun-dappled grass beyond the windows.
“She forced me to turn it off. To stop and pay attention. And thank God she did. If I hadn’t, I’d have missed all this and so much more.”
“Cliff,” I croaked.
He raised one wrinkled hand. “Let me speak, son. I’ve got a lot to say and not much time.”
“Everything is in order,” I said.
“I know that. I’ve known that for years. The last thing I’m thinking about right now is my money or my businesses. I’ve only got a little time left on this earth, and I’ve got wisdom to impart. So I want you to sit and listen.”
I smiled. Even on his deathbed, Cliff was a force of nature.
“You’re a good kid. Smart and hardworking.” He rested his head against the elevated mattress. “I know you’ll help Landon when he takes over and that you’ll keep him in line. For a long time, I thought my legacy was my business and my baseball team, but I know better now.”
He coughed violently, and the nurse rushed in. She stood at his side, ready with a nasal cannula, but he waved her away.
“That’s the easy stuff,” he rasped. “We can draft papers and make plans for that. Relationships are much harder. But from where I sit, they’re all that matter.”
I sucked in a breath, letting his words wash over me, immediately envisioning Jess and her girls.
“We only get one beautiful and wondrous life, Brian. Promise me right now you won’t waste yours.”
My vision blurred and my nose stung as I listened. Had I wasted my time? I’d always done what I thought was best, giving everything I could to my family and my clients and the firm. But I hadn’t been happy. I’d been treading water until the day Jess walked into my office.
“I won’t.” I closed my eyes and repeated the words to myself silently. I won’t.
“Did you tell the girl you love her?” he asked.
A smile overtook my face, despite the somberness of the moment. “I did.”
“Thank God—” His last word was cut off as he launched into another coughing fit. “I knew you had it in you. Now hold on tight and never let her go. If you do that, then you’ll be just fine.”
I thought about Jess and Vermont. That I’d go anywhere and do anything to be with her.
“I plan on it,” I said, my brain racing ahead several steps. Would she want to get married again?
I wanted to grow old with Jess. I wanted to sit beside her and look at the flowers in our yard.
“Give me a hug and then get going,” Cliff said gruffly.
I stood and bent over him, wrapping my arms around his frail form.
“I’m gonna go get my girl now,” he said, patting my cheek. “How ’bout you go get yours?”