20. Riley
The jingle of Riley’s keys was loud in the silence as he hung them on the hook inside his apartment. He could feel Kingston behind him, looming heavily like a storm cloud that was about to burst open and drench him in torrential showers.
They hadn’t said anything beyond two words to each other during the drive home.
Even having Allen as the go-between hadn’t helped.
Riley wasn’t sure if it was something about the sex that had thrown Kingston off, or if it was a deeper issue, but he was determined to talk now that they were alone and in a space they both felt safe in.
“Can we—”
“I’m not running to my room,” Kingston muttered. “I’m sitting on the couch, so grab me a beer.”
Kingston strode past him, his back straight, shoulders tight, and the barest hint of a limp in his step. Riley had wanted to stay at Jake’s place for the night so Kingston could rest, but when the guy refused to relax and began to pace anxiously, he asked Jake to drive them home instead.
Now they had to face this, or neither of them was getting any sleep.
Riley watched Kingston ease himself onto the couch cushion, instinctually pausing to see if he needed help before he did as he was told and went to find beer.
He was aware of how much Kingston hated his overprotectiveness, but it was hard for Riley to see the person he’d just had sex with in obvious discomfort and not do anything about it.
Roughing Sloan up in hockey had a different tone, one that was fun and exciting because adrenaline made it seem that way. But the wincing and dark bruises had an opposite effect on him, and he didn’t like the guilt he felt knowing that he was the one who had put Kingston in the state he was in now.
Riley wished, more than anything, that Kingston would give in and let him be kind. He wasn’t asking for much, but the guilt would be a lot easier to bear if he were allowed to kiss Kingston, or maybe hold his hand or something.
Anything.
“Riley.”
Riley jerked and lifted his head, frowning when he realized he had somehow made it from the fridge to the couch without noticing, and was now standing beside Kingston and staring at the floor like an idiot.
“Shit, sorry.” Riley offered the bottle to Kingston. “I’m so tired that I spaced out.”
Kingston studied the bottle with an unreadable expression, taking so long that Riley began to wonder if he had hallucinated the request. But before he could say anything, Kingston plucked the bottle from his hand and set it onto the coffee table.
“Turn the lights down so my eyes stop burning and get over here,” Kingston ordered, but his tone was soft.
Confused, Riley left to find the switch, dimming the lights enough to give the apartment a moody but comfortable atmosphere. When he returned to the couch, Kingston shuffled forward and from where he was leaning against the arm, and gestured for Riley to get in behind him.
Kingston appeared unbothered by the casual way he’d offered physical contact as he grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and began draping it over his legs, but he stopped when Riley refused to move.
Kingston’s pretty face crinkled into a deep scowl, and Riley was momentarily caught up in how dark his freckles turned when his cheeks were red.
“Do you need me to hold your hand for everything?” Kingston barked, finally snapping Riley out of his trance. “Sit down before I waste a good beer by throwing it at your empty skull.”
Riley bit back another apology and quickly sat down, rearranging himself around Kingston’s large frame until he had him between his thighs and pressed into his chest. Riley allowed himself to marvel at their closeness as he settled his chin onto Kingston’s shoulder, and the scent of his rival filled his nose.
He had cuddled with Jake and Allen so many times he’d lost count, but it felt different with Kingston. Riley didn’t think it had anything to do with him not being a woman; it just felt…rewarding in a strange sense.
Kingston acted like he hated touching of any kind, so being invited into his space held meaning. Riley was beginning to think that he understood that meaning, which helped ease the guilt twisting inside him until then.
“You smell like Jake,” Kingston muttered, the tips of his ears turning pink.
“I used his shampoo,” Riley admitted. “Did you use Allen’s? Your hair smells like flowers or something.”
Kingston scoffed, and the sound reverberated along Riley’s spine. “Honestly, I think it was bodywash. I forgot to check before using it.”
Riley smirked, remembering how distracted they had been in the steamy shower. Kingston had been so docile post orgasm that he had allowed the hugging and kissing to carry on for a total of three minutes before he’d finally pushed him away.
“You’re warm, too,” Kingston added. “And dumb.”
It was good to know Kingston’s sweetness had a very brief time limit.
“You liked fucking me,” Kingston stated, not giving Riley time to answer before he said, “Even though I’m not a girl.”
Riley thought they had moved past this part of their arrangement, but if spelling it out was what he had to do to make Kingston believe his conviction, then he could do that.
“I really liked fucking you,” he said, pausing to give the words time to sink in. “I’m starting to realize that I’ve probably been attracted to guys a lot more than I thought I was, but you’re the first one who’s made me want to act on it.”
Riley’s arms were wrapped around Kingston, so he felt when the man suddenly tensed. He didn’t want to rush him by asking stupid questions, so he settled for pressing his nose into Kingston’s neck and letting his lips touch the heated skin that was turning redder by the second.
“Even Jake never made you want to…”
Kingston trailed off, leaving Riley to think carefully about his answer. Kingston was obviously fishing for information that held relevance to him, but it was hard to imagine what kind of topic could have his loud-mouthed rival so choked up.
Riley wasn’t the brightest bulb in the shed, but using their previous conversations to piece things together helped lead to what he hoped was the right path.
“We’re supposed to keep things simple between us,” said Riley. “Rivals with benefits who can blow off steam together and still hang out and be friends.”
Kingston went unnaturally still in his hold, but Riley could feel his heart thundering—felt his pulse racing against his lips.
“That was the agreement,” Riley continued. “The last few weeks have been fun even if you frustrate the hell out of me, but I don’t know—I’m not sure this is going to work for me.”
Riley sent a silent prayer into the universe that he was on the right track because he was either going to walk away from the conversation happy or wearing a black eye, and he wasn’t sure which one was more likely.
Still, he needed to take a fucking chance because he didn’t want to give Kingston time to put more walls up between them and squander what could be a good thing. He knew he was moving way too fast, but if Kingston was as crazy as he was, he might just go for it.
“I don’t want to sleep around with no strings attached. I want you to be my boyfriend.”
Riley held his breath, resisting the urge to pin Kingston’s arms to keep him from attacking, and allowed him to respond in any way he wished.
Kingston didn’t hit him or growl at him. The only shift in his movement was his heaving shoulders when Kingston’s breathing turned fast and laboured.
“What are you—boyfriends? What the fuck, Evans?!” Kingston turned his head and glared at Riley from over his shoulder. “What about the other two? You’re not making sense—we can’t work. We hate each other.”
“I’m not talking about them until you tell me your answer,” Riley said firmly. “And what do you mean we can’t work? Do we not have chemistry? Do we not enjoy doing the same things outside of playing hockey?”
“I—” Kingston let out a short, angry growl and tucked his knees into his chest. “Why the frig did you start the conversation like you were about to dump my ass after getting a good fuck? I’m reeling here, and I feel like an idiot.”
Riley could admit that it wasn’t the smoothest lead into the conversation, but it was too late to take it back now.
“You don’t want to be mine, then?” he asked, kissing the back of Kingston’s neck. “Because I really want you, Sloan. Even if you think the idea is crazy.”
“What’s crazy is how long it’s taking me to turn around and knock your goddamn teeth out—”
“And for the record!” Riley said, raising his voice enough to stop Kingston before he could ramble about wanting to beat him up. “We don’t hate each other, and you know it. I think you’re only mad because you hate how much fun we have, and you’re too stubborn to admit that we’re compatible.”
Kingston was still breathing heavily, but he didn’t deny what Riley said or shoot a rejection at him.
Baby steps.
While he waited for Kingston to calm down enough to give him an answer, Riley distracted himself by showering Kingston with love bites and soft kisses to his neck and ear.
Asking the boyfriend question was a bold first step, but even if the uncertainty of being with Sloan scared the shit out of him, he knew he wanted it.
He might not be experienced when it came to men, but there was no denying how right it felt to hold Kingston like this. Knowing it could be a permanent, everyday thing made Riley ache and burn at the same time.
Ached because he yearned for a life where he was on equal footing with a partner who wanted him, and burned because the thought of being Kingston’s first and last in every way made him want to etch his claim onto his skin with his teeth.