Chapter 15
I should’ve known this was gonna happen.
Should’ve known playing in mess was gonna result in mess.
Booking a whole romantic retreat with my best friend, who just so happened to be my ex’s brother, who just so happened to have an ex-fiancée who not only was my friend but worked for Duality?
Of course, it ended in heartbreak and humiliation. How else was it supposed to end?
“God don’t bless no mess, Harlowe,” I said to myself as I shoved the door open like it was the problem.
“What are we grabbing?” Tiana asked as she walked through the door. She’d been right there since I was about to go upside Simone’s head in that stupid blanket.
“Everything,” I said, kicking my sandals off.
“I just got my heart ripped out in public. I’m not coming back.
” Was I being Dramatic? Absolutely. Was I probably overreacting?
Also, yes. But it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.
Tiana didn’t say anything. She just nodded and got to work retrieving my suitcases.
We laid them all out across the bed and started filling them up with my things.
Tiana was a real one. She barely knew me, but she was here right by my side, supporting my delusions and being a ride-or-die friend.
The wild part was, I knew better. I knew Hasheem.
I knew he wasn’t the “sneak around with his ex the day after asking me to be his” type.
Even in the middle of my meltdown, some stubborn, sensible part of me kept whispering, there has to be more to it than what you saw.
Still, I kept shoving clothes into my suitcase like I was about to board the next flight to Azalea.
Packing gave me something to do with my hands while my heart tried to decide between “this nigga ain’t shit” and “you know that’s not true.
” I stopped long enough to press my palms into my eyes.
It didn’t stop the tears. They pushed past anyway.
“I hate that I’m this upset,” I whispered. “Especially when I know he’s probably not even on bullshit.”
“You’re not crazy. You have a right to be upset and still be in love—” Before she could finish her sentence, the door opened behind us, and we both turned to see Hasheem standing there, shirt still damp, eyes locked on me like I was the only person in the room.
“Harlowe,” he said. “Can we please talk?” He made his way across the room, but Tiana stepped in, giving the attitude I wish I was capable of right now.
“You can talk from over there.”
“Tiana, I appreciate you being in her corner for real, but I need a minute alone with her. Please.”
She looked back at me for conformation to stand down, and I nodded.
“It’s okay.”
“You sure?” she pressed.
“No,” I said honestly. “But I need to hear whatever he’s about to say so I can . . . do whatever I’m about to do.”
“You got fifteen minutes,” she told him. “And if I hear yelling, I’m coming back with my earrings already off.” She brushed past him and slipped out, closing the door behind her. The moment she was gone, Hasheem took a cautious step toward me.
“Lowe—”
“If you say it wasn’t what it looked like,” I cut in. “I swear to God, Hasheem . . .”
“Okay,” he said as he stopped moving. “Then I won’t say that. Ask me what it was.”
“Fine. What was it? Because from where I was standing, it looked a lot like you were either fucking your ex, about to fuck your ex, or letting your ex suck your dick the day after asking me to be with you. Which one was it?”
“It was none of that,” he said quietly. “Lowe, look at me.” I didn’t want to, but I did.
“Marcus called me while you were getting your massage,” he said.
“He told me some shit I needed to hear about Simone. About why she really broke things off.” My stomach twisted.
“He told me they hooked up before I introduced him to her. He gave her a chance to tell me, and she didn’t.
Instead of owning her shit, she blamed you and used our friendship as the excuse.
“I went up there to confront her,” he went on, and I closed my eyes for a second and let his words sink in.
“To call her out on her bullshit. How she lied on you. How she made you feel like you were doing something wrong for being my friend. How she been treating you on this trip. She tried to flip it,” he said.
“Tried to touch me, tried to act like we could go back. I shut it down. I pulled away and tried to leave. She got mad, snatched her robe off, threw it, and it landed on the candle. That’s what started the fire.
That’s why the sprinklers went off. That’s it, Lowe,” he said.
“No cheating. No sneaky shit. Just a whole bunch of dumb decisions and bad timing.”
I stood there for a minute, just staring at him. I believed him. I hated I believed him, but I did. Everything he’d described sounded like Simone, sounded like Marcus, and sounded like this whole messy trip honestly.
“I hear you, and I believe you weren’t up there to screw Simone.”
“Okay. Then we can—” He took another step closer, and I put my hand up.
“I’m still mad,” I snapped. “I can’t just turn it off, Hasheem.
” Tears blurred my vision again. I hated crying this much.
I hated it was him seeing it. “You should’ve known better than to even be up there with her,” I choked out.
“Like, be serious, Hasheem. Everybody saw that, and I’m sure half of them think you were in that room doing something foul. I feel so embarrassed.”
He closed the distance between us and put his hands around my waist. “Come here,” he muttered, and I didn’t fight him.
I needed him, needed him to pull me into his chest. I needed his arms wrapped around me so I could silence the chaos in my head.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hair. “I’m so damn sorry, Lowe. I should’ve told you where I was going before I went. I should’ve never let you find me in that situation.” I stayed there in his arms, crying into his chest. My nervous system was resetting.
“I hate that you didn’t tell me,” I mumbled into his shirt. “I hate that everybody saw. I hate that Simone got the satisfaction of seeing me act a fool.”
“I know, and you’re right to be mad. You’re right to be hurt. But, Lowe, there’s never been a version of this timeline where I risk you for her. You know that.” He kissed me, and my arms pulled him tighter against my body.
“I still wanna slap you.” I sniffled, pulling back from his lips.
“You already did, remember? My cheek still stinging.”
That dragged a weak laugh out of me and suddenly made me feel bad.
“I’m . . . sorry I went full Love I could lose my favorite person, the one who knew every version of me.
“Where exactly did you think you were going?” Hasheem asked as we made it to the bed where my suitcases were laid out, half packed. My mouth opened and closed, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. “You know what? Don’t even answer that.”
He swiped the suitcases off the bed and laid me down with one swift motion. His mouth found mine with a quickness, and as he started undressing me, all the doubts and fear about us were replaced with worry that we were going to be late as hell to the closing circle.
I didn’t know how we made it to the closing circle only fifteen minutes late, but we did.
Couples were still drifting in, laughing, topping off drinks, and settling onto the blankets that were scattered out on the sand.
The closing circle was set up like a viral beach proposal scene.
It had lanterns in the sand, pillows and blankets forming a big, lopsided heart, and fairy lights strung between palm trees.
It was beautiful and overtop in the way I’d come to expect with this trip.