Chapter 17
Hasheem had been putting books on my porch and parking his Dodge Charger across the street from my house for five days now, and I was proud of myself for not folding day one.
Best friends didn’t do this. Best friends didn’t camp out on your block like a one man book club.
Best friends didn’t leave you five different friends-to-lovers romance novels, five little love notes, five Chanel bags, and five separate invitations to come outside and talk.
No, this was boyfriend behavior, and I was still out here acting like choosing us as a couple meant losing us as friends, when clearly that ship had sailed.
We’d left Zanzibar good, really good. I was the one that got home, saw a few comments from old classmates online about how trifling I was for dating brothers, and panicked.
On day one, it was just a book I’d never read, a Chanel gift I absolutely did not deserve, and all my favorite snacks.
I told myself I wasn’t even going to read it.
That was a lie. By that night, I had finished and annotated the entire thing.
By day three, I was sure he wouldn’t be out there.
He had a full-time job, a whole city to protect, actual fires to put out.
There was no way he had time to sit at my curb and read a book.
Wrong. When I peeked through the blinds, a whole firetruck was parked on my block, and Hasheem and his crew were posted up on the engine, reading like it was the most regular shit in the world.
Today, he was kicked back in a folding chair on the strip of grass across from my house, and I was still hiding behind my blinds, trying to act like I wasn’t swooning and falling deeper in love with this man.
I forced myself to step back. The more I stared at him, the weaker I’d become.
My phone pinged before I could even step away from the window fully.
I dug it out of my pocket, already knowing it was either Dee or Tiana.
My parents had already called earlier today to get in my business, wanting to know why Hasheem had been sitting outside my house.
I was already two seconds away from revoking their Ring camera privileges.
Tiana, I confirmed as I glanced at the screen.
Tiana and I had been texting and FaceTiming damn near every day since Zanzibar.
She had quietly slid into the bestie role and hadn’t let up.
I opened our thread and read her message, and my eyes instantly rolled.
Tiana:
Your fire fighter outside yet?
Because if he is and you still inside, I’m flying all the way there to drag you out by your ears.
A laugh slipped out of me before I could catch it.
Me:
Yeah, he out there. Has been all week.
Three dots popped up immediately.
Tiana:
Girl.
Go. Outside!
That man is performing a live Rom Com on your lawn and you stuck in your house like Rapunzel.
I chewed my bottom lip, staring at her last message.
Me:
I can’t, not yet.
Tiana:
You can, you just scared. And that’s fair. But be so for real, Harlowe. If you didn’t want the man, you would’ve blocked his number and put the books and those cute little Chanel bags back on the porch.
I rolled my eyes and blew out a sigh. Tiana didn’t have to clock my tea like that.
Instead of answering, I locked my phone and tossed it on the couch like it had offended me personally.
A second later, it pinged again. I ignored it for a good thirty seconds, then I huffed, snatched it back up, and checked the screen.
This time, it wasn’t Tiana responding. It was Dee. Opening our thread, I glanced over her message.
Dee:
You are literally in the book.
Me:
And I hate it here.
Dee:
No, you don’t.
I am begging you, as a reader and a friend, to go OUTSIDE and talk to that man.
Me:
No.
Dee:
Don’t piss me off.
Me:
This too much Dee. He’s my ex’s brother. I was crazy to think we can do this relationship thing back home.
Dee:
Fuck what people think. They’ve done worse.
Me:
I’m trying not to mess up our friendship on top of it.
Dee:
You’re being dramatic.
I wasn’t being dramatic. I was trying to preserve my friendship and whatever else was left of my sanity.
If best friend Hasheem had been on the other side of that door, I would’ve opened it, but that wasn’t him.
That was the version of Hasheem who had the power to ruin me.
The one who was too messy to love. I couldn’t go outside.
Not because I didn’t care, but because I was terrified of admitting I was scared to own the fact that I was in love with the one person that I shouldn’t be.
Dee:
Harlowe, that ain’t been your best friend since before you let his dick play in your cervix.
Me:
BYE.
I dropped the phone face down on the cushion as I plopped down on the couch.
I reached for my laptop instead. If I couldn’t shut my brain up, maybe I could at least answer some emails and pretend to be a functioning adult.
The moment I opened my emails, my heart sank.
Right at the top was an email from Duality.
I hadn’t heard from them since I’d gotten back home.
From: Duality Brand
Subject: Zanzibar Couples Retreat – Final Notes & Deliverables
I contemplated closing my laptop and pretending I had never seen it, but curiosity got the best of me. Instead, I clicked.
Hello Harlowe,
Thank you again for being part of the Zanzibar Couples Retreat. We truly appreciate the time, care, and openness you brought to the weekend. The content you completed captured the spirit of the brand beautifully.
We want to take the time to acknowledge the moment of tension prior to departure.
Emotions were understandably high. Even though there may have been some discrepancies with your qualifications, you completed your commitments fully.
As agreed, we will move forward with the contract as outlined.
Your professionalism throughout the retreat did not go unnoticed.
We’d also like to extend a sincere apology regarding the interaction involving your plus one and a staff member.
That moment did not reflect our values or standards and steps have been taken internally to rectify the problem.
Your final payout will be processed and deposited into your account within 7–10 business days.
Attached, you’ll find the finalized promotional material from the weekend, including the edited advertising videos.
We’ve also included a small folder of candid clips or moments captured for you and Hasheem to keep for yourselves.
We wish you both the very best as you move forward, and we thank you again for the role you played in making this retreat and Duality launch a hit.
Warm regards,
Elena Brooks
Director of Partnerships Duality
I sat back, exhaling and processing the email.
They were still paying me, and Simone might have gotten fired.
Today was a good day. I scrolled to the bottom of the email and clicked on the attachments.
The video opened with drone shots of the resort, couples laughing, ocean, candles, and vibes.
Then there we were. Me and Hasheem, dancing together on the first night and then another clip of us playing Twister.
My heart started racing. When the clip started talking about choosing your person on purpose like you choose a scent and panned to Hasheem looking me in the eyes, I snapped the laptop shut.
“I hate y’all,” I muttered, but the truth was I didn’t. I missed him so bad it hurt. Needing to feel his presence, I reached for the book he’d left on the porch this morning. I was already halfway through it.
I told myself I was going to pace myself, but apparently, pacing myself went out the window when the hero reminded me of my real life best friend slash heartbreak.
I flipped to the page I’d left off on. A neon sticky note stuck out near the top—a page he’d marked.
I hadn’t let myself look at it yet. I’d been too scared of what it might say.
My hands shook a little as I turned to it.
It was a scene where the FMC finally stopped running and let herself admit she loved the MMC.
The line he’d highlighted was simple, but he’d circled it twice in blue ink.
“Being scared didn’t mean I didn’t want it. It just meant I had something real to lose.”
In the margin, he’d written a note. My finger scanned it.
Sound familiar, Lowe?
I’m scared too. I’m still choosing you.
– Hash
My vision blurred, and I blinked hard, but the tears fell anyway.
All week, I’d been concerned with how our relationship would look.
I’d been telling myself ghosting him until I could figure out what to say was protecting the friendship and protecting my heart.
Sitting here with that quote, that note, that man sitting outside in a folding chair after five days of trying?
It didn’t feel like strength. It felt like stupidity.
Suddenly, everything everyone had been saying flooded my brain—Tiana’s text, Dee’s message, Duality’s video of us looking in love. What are you doing, Harlowe?
I closed the book gently, wiped my face with the back of my hand, and stood up.
If he was going to keep showing up for me, the least I could do was walk outside and decide whether I was going to show up back.
I walked to the door, book in hand, and turned the knob before I could talk myself out of it.
Hasheem was right where he always was now, across the street in a folding chair, shorts and sneakers, a book in his lap.
When the door shut behind me, his head lifted.
Our eyes met, and he sat up straight, closing his book.
Without looking away, he reached behind the chair and pulled out a bouquet of roses. My heart fluttered.
I walked down to the sidewalk and across the street, my legs weakening with every step.
“Just so you know,” I said, stopping in front of him, “I’m pretty sure parking outside somebody’s house with flowers and books counts as stalking in Azalea County.
He blinked like he was making sure I was real, then a slow grin tugged at his mouth.
“Good thing I’m just a concerned citizen conducting a wellness check.”
“A wellness check?” I scoffed, joining him in the empty folding chair next to him. “You knew I was alive.”
He laughed, and oh my, how I’d missed it.
“Alive ain’t the same as okay,” he said quietly. “And you ain’t been okay. I know you, Lowe.” That made my throat tighten, and I looked down at the roses, then back at him.
“You really started a sidewalk book club in front of my house,” I said. “Snacks and everything.”
“You taught me well.” His gaze dragged over my face. “Plus, you always said if a man didn’t read, he couldn’t touch you.”
“Wow.” I snorted. “Weaponizing my standards is crazy actually.”
He smiled, but it still had pain behind it. We sat there for a minute in the middle of the block.
“I read that page you underlined,” I blurted. “In the book.”
His eyes sharpened. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “The line about being scared ’cause you got something real to lose.
” I swallowed. “That hit home for me because it’s exactly why I panicked.
Loving you feels terrifying, and Zanzibar showed me what it might feel like to lose you.
Then I got back home, and people were in my comments talking trash.
I did what I always do. I pushed the brakes and panicked. ”
He shook his head. “And left me crashing too,” he said.
“I been over here missing you like fucking crazy, Lowe. I ain’t good without you.
I want you to be my best friend and girlfriend.
I want book rants you checking me when I’m on bullshit, arguments, makeup sex .
. . everything. I wanna be your first call, but I wanna be that as your man, not just your safe friend. ”
A tear slipped out before I could stop it.
“You’re really good at this,” I whispered. “You know that, right?”
“At what?”
“At being exactly the man I’ve been reading about my whole life,” I said. “You’re my best friend, Hasheem. And I’m in love with you.”
“I love you too, Lowe,” he said, voice rough. “Been loved you. I’m scared, yeah, but I’d rather be scared with you than safe without you.”
The part of me that always jumped to worst case scenarios tried to speak up. What if y’all break up? What if the people judge? What if— I shut it up. I wasn’t doing that anymore.
“So,” I said, looking up at him. “You just gonna sit out here and not ask me anything?”
“I already did.”
He dipped his chin toward the roses. My fingers fumbled around the stems until I found the little white envelope tied there. My heart thudded as I slid the card out and read it.
Be my girl. For real this time. Best of both worlds.
Say yes.
—Hash
My vision blurred again. This man was everything.
“Well?” he asked quietly. “You gonna answer me, or leave me on read in real life?”
“I hate you,” I whispered, even as my free hand grabbed his hoodie and pulled him closer. “I hate you so much.”
He smirked. “You love me.”
“I do. I choose you. Hasheem . . . My little bad decision.”
“Best bad decision you ever made,” he said, then he kissed me before lifting me into the air.
“Put me down.” I laughed against his mouth, my legs wrapping around his waist naturally.
“Nope.” He adjusted his grip, carrying me like I weighed nothing.
“You had me out here on the street reading romances for five days. You owe me at least three weeks of this.” He slapped my ass as he carried me up the porch.
I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, burying my face against him as he pushed the door open with his foot and stepped inside.
I’d made a lot of questionable choices in my life, but loving Hasheem Hart wasn’t one of them and fuck whoever had something negative to say about it.