Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
J ade could taste the salt in the breeze as she wandered through the resort towards the garden where she’d been told her pop-up book clinic had been set up. The fresh smell of the ocean still gave her a kick of pleasure every time she stepped outside, even though she’d been on Nantucket for a month now. Time was flying by so fast.
What a month it had been, though. That first week had been tough, the themed book week that had turned out to be a lot of hard work for little reward. Not to mention the whole finding out she’d slept with her boss fiasco.
Since then she’d started to get to grip with the shop, even knew how to fill in spreadsheets, thanks to the man she wasn’t going to think about . She’d also made some good friends, used her creative writing skills for the first time since school and penned a couple of blogs, plus had the idea for and overseen a very successful book evening at the library. Mary had already pencilled it in the diary to repeat in the second half of the year. Of course, she’d be back in Twickenham then. Back to her old job, her old stomping ground. Her old life.
‘Hey, where’s that sunny smile we’re used to?’
She shook off the sad thoughts and turned to give Leroy a wide grin. ‘Better?’
‘A bit scary, if I’m honest, but beats the scowl.’ His dark brown eyes slid over her face. ‘You okay?’
This time her smile was more genuine. ‘I’m good. Ready to rock this pop-up book surgery Jeremy somehow persuaded Liam to agree to. Oh, shit.’ A thought occurred. ‘He definitely did get his agreement this time, yes? Because I know we skated over it at the library but that was before…’
‘Before you two had a fight,’ Leroy supplied, giving her a gruff chuckle. ‘Boss man definitely gave the all clear. Heard it with my own ears. Seems the Ginger Wonder has managed to tame the Big Bad Wolf. At the least he’s some sort of wolf whisperer.’
‘Um, I heard he asked Liam to be his best man.’
‘Did you also hear the boss accepted?’
She blinked. ‘Oh, wow. No.’ It felt like a seismic shift in attitude. ‘I’m glad, for Jeremy’s sake. I hope Liam proves up to the task.’
‘Looks like the substitute isn’t needed.’ He winked. ‘How about being my best man?’
‘God, what is it with you two? You must have friends you’ve known longer than me and besides, much as I’d be honoured, it would probably mean me having to do some dance or something with the other best man and that is definitely not happening.’
Leroy smirked. ‘I’ll leave it as a maybe for now.’ Before she could say anything, he took her by the shoulders and pointed her towards the garden courtyard where a white gazebo decorated with multi-coloured balloons stood in the centre. Outside it were rattan sofas, grouped around low coffee tables furnished with stacks of hardback books. Inside, more chic seating was surrounded by colourful pots of flowers and display shelves that overflowed with paperbacks. There was even a flamingo with a book between its beak.
Hung across the gazebo was a big silver sign proclaiming Welcome to the Book Surgery .
‘Wow, that’s fabulous.’ She had to blink to stop the tears escaping. ‘I don’t care what you say about your fiancé, in my eyes he’s an absolute superstar.’
Leroy let out a huff of laughter. ‘Wasn’t all his doing.’ Then he gave her a gentle push. ‘Go get ’em.’
She almost skipped to the gazebo, but then came to an abrupt halt, her heart faltering when she saw not one, not two, but it must have been a dozen green furry caterpillars, haphazardly shoved onto the shelves and tables, each with its head angled so it was looking at a book.
There was only one person on this island who knew about Sparks.
Behind her, someone cleared their throat. Immediately her pulse began to race, and butterflies burst into her belly… Yep, her body recognised the deep, rumbly noise before her head turned to confirm. ‘Turns out caterpillars are easier to find than bookworms.’
Her eyes gobbled him up even as her mind tried to draw a big steel cage around her heart. White open-collared shirt, shades that hid his eyes and gave him an air of film star mystery. Suddenly the gazebo felt cramped, like Liam was crowding her, even though he stood a respectful distance away.
Why did he have to be so tall? And so frigging drop-dead handsome?
As she struggled to find her words, silence stretched between them.
He slipped the shades off, revealing a pair of turbulent grey eyes. ‘Say something. Please.’
Breaking away from the magnetic pull of his gaze she glanced around her. ‘Did you organise this or Jeremy?’
‘That depends. Do you like it?’
Do not get dragged back into his orbit . ‘Yes.’
‘Then I’ll claim partial responsibility.’
‘Why?’ She forced herself to look at him again. ‘A week ago, my only purpose was a cheer-you-up fuck.’
He flinched, jaw muscle bunching. ‘You were getting under my skin, creeping under my guard. I… panicked.’ His shoulders rose and fell as he inhaled a deep, shaky breath. ‘I had to push you away.’
‘So why are you here now?’
‘To apologise.’ He cursed and rubbed at his face. ‘What I said was shitty, inexcusable, I know that. I don’t deserve another chance.’ His eyes lifted to hers. ‘But I want one.’
The tug on her heart, the one she didn’t want to feel? In that moment she’d have been grateful for it, because what she got instead was a full-blown yank. It terrified her how easily her heart forgave him. Like he’d just had to turn up and smile in her direction and it was ready to lie at his feet. Thank God, her head was smarter. ‘We don’t always get what we want. It wasn’t that long ago I asked if I could stay on at the bookstore for the whole of my contract and you said no, I could have two weeks.’
‘I told you, it’s yours until you go home.’
‘Yes, I remember you saying that. I also remember the next day you made me feel cheaper than anyone else has ever managed, and believe me, that’s one hell of an achievement.’ Anger burned inside her again, and she welcomed it, channelled it. ‘Did I tell you that my ex, Paul, thought it was okay not to let me know he was actually dating someone else while sleeping with me because I looked the type who wouldn’t mind? ’ Liam’s face blanched and she let out a strangled laugh. ‘Yeah, such a charmer, but apparently, arseholes are my go-to type because he didn’t hurt me nearly as much as you did. I was trying to help,’ she hissed, on a roll now, a week’s worth of pent-up emotion bubbling over. ‘Not infiltrate your precious privacy, not try and wheedle my way into your life through your grandma.’ He looked like he might be sick, but she reminded herself she didn’t care. ‘God, the fact you thought I was the sort of person who would even do that.’ That had hurt most of all. Despite all the sweet things he’d said to her, he still actually thought she was some sort of scheming cow out to snare him through sex and his grandma.
* * *
He was losing her. Liam hadn’t realised how important it was that Jade gave him another chance, until he saw that chance slip through his fingers.
‘I didn’t think you were like that.’ He dragged a hand through his hair, feeling totally unbalanced, like he was swaying against the ropes after a few heavy punches. ‘Of course I didn’t think that.’ Taking a big risk she’d actually punch him, he stepped towards her, eyes pleading with her. ‘I told you, I panicked. You were doing this amazing, touching thing for the most important person in my life, and it suddenly felt too much, like I was in real danger of falling for you. Then there was Mary knowing something acutely personal about me, a woman who’s been part of the Haven-hating gossip machine that drove me and my grandma off this island… Fuck, Jade. For a few minutes I lost all sense of proportion.’
Her blue gaze raked his, like she was trying to get inside his head. Then she huffed out a breath and turned away from him, walking to pick up one of the caterpillars he’d insisted on, much to Jeremy’s amusement. ‘What do you want from me?’
Okay, this was the billion-dollar question. This was where he cut and ran, or stared fear in the face and decided she was worth making himself vulnerable for. Worth putting himself out there to be rejected again. ‘I want to date you.’
She gaped at him. ‘You don’t date.’
‘I used to. Then, like you, I was hurt, so I stopped.’ His heart was racing, his stomach felt like it was filled with grit. ‘But you’re special, Jade. I become a different person when I’m with you, a man who laughs, who talks about himself. Who’s starting to realise the impact of his actions and wants to change.’ Her eyes held his and she nodded, as if to say you have my attention , now convince me it’s something I want, too . ‘You only have two more months out here. I want to be selfish and spend them getting to know you more and maybe in doing that, I’ll also get to know myself more. The real me, not the bitter, closed off me I’ve become.’ His heart sank as he played back his words. ‘And that’s all about what I’ll get out of it, and not about how you can benefit.’
‘Don’t I get sex?’
He couldn’t read that look in her eye. ‘I don’t know if you’re teasing me, or throwing my words back at me.’ Frustrated, he jammed a hand into his pocket. ‘I get it, I’m a complicated mess. Why would you want to spend more time with me? Plus, with the way I’ve acted, you have no reason to trust me. But I’m trying to open up to you. Trying to offer you a version of me I thought I’d buried.’ Emotion balled in his throat and he struggled to keep his voice steady. ‘I won’t blame you if you think he’s not worth your while. Others have thought the same.’ Fuck, now he sounded pathetic. Angry with himself he inclined his head. ‘You’re here to work and I’ve taken up too much of your time. Good luck today. I hope it goes well.’
He turned and began to walk away, legs feeling stiff, like they’d forgotten how to move.
‘Wait.’
Heart thumping, he turned to face her. Blonde hair curling around her face, hands clutching a toy caterpillar wearing an inane grin, she looked stunning and sexy and… unsure. ‘I’ll be in the shop tomorrow. You know… if you want to find out how this event went?’
It was an olive branch, and he grasped it as if it was the last life raft. ‘Thank you, I will.’
He weaved his way back through the resort to his office, his legs unsteady. She hadn’t agreed to date him, but she hadn’t said no . Considering at one point he thought it was game over, he’d take that.
He pushed open the door to his office and slumped onto the chair, taking a moment to let the tiny victory settle over him. Yet as he went to turn his computer back on, his mind wouldn’t focus, his tangled emotions distracting him. He needed to unpick them, separate them into a different compartment in his brain, before he could carry on.
And there was only one person he knew who could help.
Climbing back to his feet, he marched towards Jeremy’s office, but the bastard wasn’t there. Unreasonably annoyed, he set off towards the beach bar, figuring he might find the man… Yep, there he was. Sitting as cool as you like at a table, glass of something tall and fruity in front of him.
‘Do I pay you to sit here?’
Jeremy glanced up at him. ‘You pay me to keep the guests happy, and as I’ve just waved goodbye to a couple of guests who were unhappy with their room as it was only a pool view and not a sea view as advertised, but are now deliriously happy, courtesy of a chat with yours truly, a couple of free rum punches and a promise of an upgrade to a suite, then yes. You pay me to sit here.’
‘Fine.’ He threw himself down on the chair opposite. ‘Ask me how it went with Jade.’
‘Ah.’ A slow smile crossed Jeremy’s face. ‘I like this new arrangement where you come to me for relationship advice.’
‘I’m not. I don’t.’ Aware they both knew he was lying, Liam slumped against the back of the chair. How had he gone from keeping his distance, to wanting to share every minute of the conversation he’d just had with Jade, in the hope Jeremy would see the same thread of encouragement he had? ‘I apologised, she listened, took apart my behaviour with a cool precision that made me feel two-foot tall. She didn’t say no, but she didn’t yes, either.’
‘Of course she didn’t. She’s got far too much self-respect to allow the man who insulted her to just pick up where he left off without an element of crawling.’
‘That’s what it’s going to take? She wants me on my knees, begging?’ He’d only come close to doing that once, at the end of that first term when he’d been woken in the middle of the night by a bucket of cold water for the fifth night in a row. Instead, he’d guzzled caffeine drinks and forced himself to stay awake. Gradually his body had got used to having less sleep.
‘Well, probably not literally, though you on your knees does make rather an intriguing picture?—’
‘What, then?’ Liam interrupted before he did something humiliating, like blush.
Jeremy laughed, eyes glittering with humour. ‘I never thought I’d see the day that Liam Haven was all twisted up over a woman.’
‘I should have learnt my damn lesson,’ he muttered, then made the mistake of looking up at Jeremy.
‘Sabrina Ellis?’
‘Gossip machine still going strong as I see.’ Even the name had Liam’s stomach rolling. ‘Bad enough I’m talking to you about Jade. I’m not, under any circumstances, discussing past relationships with you.’
‘Message received. Too soon.’ Jeremy smirked. ‘I’ll make a note to ask you again in a few months, when the benefits of having me as a friend, confident and wise counsel will be more obvious.’ He waved away Liam’s attempt to interrupt his ridiculous monologue. ‘With regard to Jade, she’s been treated appallingly by men, and that now includes you, so if you still want to date her, you need to give her time. Show her you’re serious, and treat her like the amazing woman she is. Not the one she sometimes thinks she is.’
Liam pieced the words together with what he knew about Jade. ‘You’re good at this.’
‘You sound surprised. I’m a gay ginger man. I’ve been ridiculed, ignored, called every name under the sun. Instead of cowering away, I chose to talk to my detractors to try and understand how they thought. Engage with them.’ He smirked. ‘That’s why I’m the confident, together, beautifully presented man you see before you now. So, when do we begin Operation Double BJ?’
Liam groaned. ‘I don’t want to know.’
‘Oh, but you do.’ Jeremy grinned. ‘Bring Back Jade.’
‘Christ.’ Abruptly, Liam rose to his feet. ‘I’ve got it from here. And if you ever use that acronym again, I will fire you.’