Chapter Ten
Frey
There was so much going on in his head, Frey wasn’t sure how he could find his way out of the maze of questions when all he wanted to do was hide from reality. Booker spent so much time staring at him, Frey had convinced himself he’d gotten a smudge on the end of his nose and had gone to the restroom to check.
It gave him something else to focus on. Since his doctor’s appointment, Booker was acting… nice? The word didn’t quite fit. The bear was fussing? Frey couldn’t come up with a better word for it.
The press conference the week before had shown yet another side to Booker. When he’d gone all growly, protective bear over Hollis, Frey had started having vivid dreams. Ones where it was Frey, not Hollis, who’d received that kind of display. They’d announced Silas was the new figurehead of the company, but Hollis’s blossoming relationship with Taylin had become the focus. With Taylin a divergent, the slurs they’d cast at him had upset everyone. Then it came with nastiness about Hollis being a 'true shifter'—non-divergent, somehow implying he was better than Taylin. This resulted in all the brothers standing literally and figuratively with their brother.
Frey had gotten tearful. His hormones were wreaking havoc on him, and he’d had to leave. His body was doing things it hadn’t done in years, and it was why he was hiding from Booker’s all-seeing eyes in the coffee lounge after the last attempt at holding back tears for no apparent reason other than Booker saying ‘thank you’.
Standing in the coffee lounge, he lifted a big slab of cake and instead of nibbling, he rammed it between his lips, eating his feelings. The chocolate gooeyness hit his tastebuds, and he groaned despite his inner turmoil. He cupped a hand under the other as crumbs fell from his mouth.
He sighed in distress when, seconds later, the chocolate gooeyness no longer distracted him, so he shoved an enormous chunk in his mouth, then worked to close his lips to chew.
“What’s this? A cake eating competition where we see how much we can get in our mouths?”
Frey blushed hard and glanced sheepishly at the man who entered the coffee room so silently that he hadn’t heard him.
Frey chewed and watched Ziggy head straight to the counter where there was always a pot of fresh coffee. Ziggy’s striped shirt, with the sleeves rolled up over his elbows, revealed tattoo covered forearms .
Frey would never be brave enough to get one, never mind so many. The idea of needles being jabbed into his skin sent icy shivers through him.
He swallowed what he had in his mouth, taking a second to savor the last few crumbs by licking them from the palm of his hand and fingers. Before he finished, he eyed the last bit of cake in the box. He shook his head at his own greediness, but mainly that was just because there was someone there to witness it.
Frey turned his attention back to Ziggy, who was busy filling a mug. “It's a magnificent cake. Isley out did himself with it. I could eat the whole thing in one sitting.” It was the truth, but not because it was so good—or not the sole reason.
Ziggy’s chuckle came with a head shake. “You’ll make yourself sick.”
“You do know me, right?”
The chuckle turned into deep belly laughter. “I forgot, how silly of me!”
Frey leaned against the counter, watching Ziggy, needing a distraction from work, Booker, his life, heck with everything.
“How many tattoos do you have?” he asked with genuine interest. He liked Ziggy, he wasn’t anything like how he appeared.
Ziggy, the newest recruit to the PAs after Derby had quit, had been the one to suggest changing the original boring name of the group chat to Delicious & Vicious. When they’d first been introduced, Frey had found himself wary of the snake shifter, who looked a little like a thug. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was sweet, kind, and very caring.
Despite the vibe the tattoos gave off, that didn’t fit any of what Frey had taken the time to discover about his work colleague and now friend. His arms weren’t the only place that was tattooed. They peeked out of the collar of his shirt, going part way up his neck. He’d shaved off the dark blond hair at both sides of his head and he had a mohawk type hair style with a trimmed beard adding to the bad boy look. His dress sense was unique enough to gain a lot of attention. Smart shirts and slim legged slacks were paired with heavy boots, and then he added in cardigans instead of jackets. It shouldn’t have worked all together, yet he looked hip. Trendy, even.
“Not sure…” He shrugged, eyeing the remaining piece of cake in the box. “Thirty maybe?” he reached in and plucked out the cake and Frey held back a sigh at losing the opportunity to have the last slice.
“Why are you asking? Interested in knowing who does mine? I can make recommendations if you want one.” He brought the cake to his lips, paused as he sniffed it, then nibbled at the top bit where the icing was.
Frey waited and grinned when Ziggy groaned obscenely. “Fuck, that’s good!”
“I know, right? Isley needs to make this a regular bake.” He really was regretting that he hadn't taken that last piece.
“Umhum…” Ziggy answered, taking a bigger bite .
“No, I don’t have the balls to get a tattoo. I also am not sure how my fox would feel about being marked that way. Does your snake like it?” Frey asked, returning to the conversation.
Ziggy swallowed the mouthful of cake, took a sip of his coffee, and eyed him thoughtfully. “I’m not sure I ever thought about how it would affect my animal. I’ve wanted tattoos since I was old enough to understand what they were.”
Frey picked up something that gave him pause. “Why?” he asked hesitantly.
Back to shrugging, Ziggy didn’t reply and took another bite of the cake. “This is so good,” he mumbled around the next mouthful.
Seeing he was changing the subject, Frey sighed and worked to come up with something else to distract himself.
“You’ve got something worrying you. Wanna talk about it?” Ziggy’s quiet question had Frey deflating like the air being released from an airbed.
“Is it that obvious?”
“You’ve a real sunny disposition, and if someone is paying attention, it’s easy to see that you’ve not been yourself these last few days. I’m a good listener.”
He debated for all of three seconds before he caved. None of his skulk would understand his dilemma. They all shunned him for his past choices.
He glanced at the open door and walked over, pushing it too. One glance at the padded colorful seats Lane had selected so they could be comfortable in the bright space, he opted for them versus standing .
He’d contemplated talking about his issue in their WhatsApp group chat, then he’d not be face to face with anyone. At how chill Ziggy was, he realized this could work better. Ziggy just might be the right person to discuss his… dilemma with.
He patted the seat next to him as he plonked himself down. “Okay. But you asked for it,” he stated, knowing what he was about to share would change Ziggy’s perception of him. Everyone thought he was this flirty fox who loved sex… they couldn’t be more wrong.
He had… he shuddered, pushing away any thoughts of what Rally had tried to do to him when Frey went into his first heat.
The cushion depressed and a worried looking Ziggy tapped at his leg. “You look like you swallowed a hive of bees and they’re stinging you inside… you sure you wanna talk about this,”—he glanced at the closed door—“here?”
“I’m crawling out of my skin. I need to do this or else I’m gonna get the sack because I can’t concentrate for toffee.”
Ziggy settled, tucking a leg under him as he twisted to face Frey, giving him his full attention. Something else that Frey liked about the snake. He paid attention.
Inhaling Ziggy’s zesty scent, Frey released a breath before meeting the other man’s gaze. “I’m a virgin.” Ziggy’s brow quirked up, but that was the only outward sign he’d shocked Ziggy. “I know I act all flirty and interested in sex… don’t get me wrong, I am…” or he was of late when he had thoughts about Booker. “It’s just…” he blew out a breath. This was so muc h harder than he thought when it meant going to places he hated to go willingly.
Ziggy placed a gentle hand on his thigh. “In your own time.”
Frey nodded and slumped back against the comfy cushion. “Once upon a time there was this fox whose skulk was overrun with alphas. Omegas, there were very few of.” His mind drifted of its own accord. “It meant the omegas had the pick of alphas. When an omega came into heat, the alphas fought to be the one to mate.” As he spoke, his color drained from his cheeks and his palms grew damp at the memory.
The press on the hand on his leg gave comfort and Frey found he could continue. “My first heat…” he sucked his lower lip between his teeth after he released a shuddery breath. “It was… traumatic.” The word never seemed to really fit.
Harrowing.
Horrific.
Life changing.
“Do you need to stop?” Ziggy asked, so gently it brought with it the urge to cry.
He shook his head, sniffing back the tears. “No… I need to get it out. I don’t have a choice.” That knowledge made his innards tremble. “My heat is due soon.”
When he met Ziggy’s gaze, his brows pinched together.
“I’m running out of time,” Frey explained. “I was taking heat blockers. Which, because I’ve taken them for too long, have caused me some issues.” Understatement, but that he wouldn’t talk about until he’d come to terms with his own lack. “So my doctor has stopped them, which means I’m going to have to go through my heat. I haven’t done that since…”
“What did the alphas in your skulk do to you?”
Once more, Ziggy’s gentleness brought tears with it, Frey didn’t want to spill them, not when he’d have to go back to the office and face Booker. “One of the biggest alphas, the leader in our skulk, got it into his head that I belonged to him. I just ignored him, I wasn’t interested in him. I never had any inclination to think he’d be the one I’d want around when I went into my heat.”
A ball formed in Frey’s throat as the memories tumbled out of the box he shut them away in. “Having never experienced a heat, I was a little clueless about what was happening to me until it was too late.” He rushed on, working to escape what chased him. “Rally knew. Must have scented me. It gave him the opportunity to manipulate others to leave me alone. He timed everything to perfection so no one else was home when he… when he cornered me—”
“The fucker!” Ziggy exclaimed angrily, while he continued to keep his touch gentle.
“Yep.” Frey shuddered. The simple acceptance of his version, which had gotten rejected by the other alphas in the skulk, helped settle his nerves and gave him the courage to continue. “He attacked me… ripped the clothes off me and rough handled me, trying to fuck me when I wasn’t ready.” Frey’s body hadn’t quite reached the point where his slick would have allowed the alpha to fuck him with wild abandon. The attack had somehow prevented Frey from reaching a natural progression .
Rally had stopped Frey’s first heat dead in its tracks. Something, with hindsight, he was grateful for because he had no clue what the outcome would have been otherwise. His doctor couldn’t fully explain Frey’s bodily reaction. Only to suggest the fear—fight-or-flight response was so strong—had prevented his heat. Frey didn’t care, only that he’d never wanted to be in that position again. Vulnerable.
A light flashed in the snake’s eyes and Frey could almost believe Ziggy was preparing to strike. “You… he didn’t…”
“Rape me?” Ziggy nodded jerkily. “No. It was close, I was in the bathroom trying to find a way to cool down when he attacked. I managed to grab a can of deodorant and spray it in his eyes after we’d fought for a minute or two.” He let the memory of Rally’s screams settle his tummy and he giggled. It felt good that he could see the funny side… sort of… possibly, after all these years.
“I hope you blinded the fucker.”
He said it with such menace, Frey's giggles increased. “I wish, but it sorted him out long enough to allow me to get out of there.”
Ziggy wore a thoughtful look as he continued to stare at Frey to the point he had to resist fidgeting. “So your problem is that you need help with your heat?” he asked tentatively.
“I do and I don’t wanna…” Frey winced, at a loss for what to say or if he wanted to actually bring Booker’s name into the conversation. With how he reacted recently to Booker, attraction wouldn’t be an issue. The dreams about Booker’s bear and what Frey had seen of his chest… yeah, that had left him toying with the insane idea of asking Booker to help him. His fox was insistent the big bear was the answer to all their problems.
He is.
Shut up!
“I could help. I’m sure we could figure it out between us.”
“You’d do that… for me?” Frey asked, wide eyed and feeling a wallop to his chest at such a generous offer.
“Frey, I like you a lot. It could be fun, and we can get inventive. We can do a google search to find things for omegas to use on each other. There has to be some, they have everything else on the internet these days.” He gave Frey a cheeky grin.
The dread and gloom that had shrouded his day disappeared. And okay, he wasn’t Booker, but it might give him time to figure out if Booker would be interested. “I’d like that… and thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
They looked at each other and both burst into fits of giggles. Frey had no interest in Ziggy, and it was clear from Ziggy’s expression right then he had none in Frey, which suited him. Frey’s interests—he could not deny—lay in the enormous bear who hid his kind heart behind a gruff nature. If Frey was a little disappointed that he had ignored his fox’s idea to have this conversation with Booker, then that was just tough.