Chapter Twenty-Three
Booker
Booker’s ears rang from the shriek and his bear decided to take cover, the coward he was. Now that they had the fox in their arms he wasn’t sticking around for the next bit.
Coward.
Whatever.
“Yes,” he admitted, working on trying not to sound defensive. The tiny fox had scared twenty years off his life, screaming like he was being attacked. Any thoughts of just watching had evaporated completely.
If he wanted to pretend this little fox hadn’t captured his heart, then his actions pretty much made a mockery of that. Not that Booker wouldn’t have rushed to help anyone who screamed. It was just pointless to pretend when that urge to defend also came with the overriding need to hold the man who was currently stroking his tiny hand over his chest. He hadn’t even stopped when he’d made that alarming squeaky shriek.
“What… why? I don’t understand. You spent all last week avoiding me and now this?” Frey released a heavy sigh, his hand coming up to touch Booker’s bristly jaw. “What’s going on?”
Those three simple words were a battering ram to his heart, which was hammering against the small hand touching him. “I… it’s like this. I… we… us…”
“Yes?” Frey encouraged, wearing an expectant look that wasn’t helping.
Despite the urge to get up and pace, which is what he’d normally do to release his frustration, Booker kept his ass planted on the bench, refusing to let go of Frey. It was totally irrational, but then he’d not been thinking straight for months when it came to the flirty fox.
“I like you,” Booker muttered, like an absolute idiot.
“You do?” Back was the shrieky voice and Booker resisted rubbing at his ears when he couldn’t decide if what Frey displayed was terror or jubilation.
“Didn’t I just say it,” he growled back grumpily, feeling seven shades of embarrassed and hating every minute of it.
Frey’s eyes sparkled like diamonds glittering in the sunlight.
Panic came in a big dollop on top of everything else. “No… don’t you dare. I swear I’ll dump your ass in the lake if you so much as let one tear drop.” His terror was real, he hated when folks cried. It did stupid things to him .
Frey sniffed and gave him this look that was both adorable and annoyed at the same time. “There’s no need to shout at me.”
Doomed, he was fucking doomed. A mantra he was getting used to.
“I didn’t mean to shout,” he replied, doing his best to keep his voice low. “Just don’t cry, okay?”
He patted Frey on the shoulder like someone would to soothe a baby. If Frey noticed, he didn’t say anything, but Booker’s bear side was ass wiggling around his brain, enjoying himself way too much.
After another sniff, Frey wiped a hand at his nose as he watched Booker closely. “Do you like me, like me?”
“Huh?” What did that mean?
“You know, like me, not just a person you work with, but like a… boyfriend type liking? There’s a difference and I need to be clear, ‘cause everything is confusing me, and I don’t want to make a fool of myself,” Frey finished, flushed and breathless, eyes bigger than saucers.
They ate up his entire face, the color more gray than green, something that happened when the little fox was emotional. Booker hadn’t had such a conversation like this in his whole dating life, so he nodded, hoping that was the right response when he felt more than a little tongue tied about using the word ‘boyfriend’.
“So that’s a yes, you wanna be my boyfriend?” Frey persisted, his cheeks glowing.
“Yes,” Booker mumbled. Could this be any more mortifying? He was a grown bear, it shouldn’t be this hard .
The big sigh that followed was not what Booker expected, or the tears back filling Frey’s eyes.
Oh fuck, what now?
“I have to say something before… you decide if you really want to date me.”
Date him?
Who mentioned dating?
Dear lord, he was going to have to come up with something to do. Wait… what did he mean? “Tell me what?”
“I’m not really a flirty fox.”
Booker frowned, unsure what this had to do with anything, but he waited when Frey paused, licked his lips and glanced towards the water.
“I use it as a barrier. Flirting, I mean. It gives me confidence. Fake, yes, but it helps me deal with big alphas when I feel threatened by them… all the time.” His breathing was choppy as he glanced back at Booker, never looking more vulnerable and punching at Booker’s control.
“But… you’re different. I don’t feel scared around you,” he whispered, looking shyly up at him from under his long eyelashes.
Booker’s heart was back to thundering at the confession.
I told you so.
Give the fuck over right now!
“Who made you frightened?” It came out gruff and hurt his throat with how upset he was at the many reasons why someone would fear all alphas.
Except us !
He ignored his bear for now, watching Frey carefully and seeing the moment he decided to answer.
“In my skulk, there were more alphas than omegas and betas put together. My family liked the idea that I could have my pick of the more powerful alphas. Except…” He shivered once more, his gaze returning to the water.
“Except?” Booker nudged gently, needing to see what he was battling. Who he’d battle to protect the shivering fox.
“Except the leading alpha of the skulk decided I was his, no discussion, no asking if it was what I wanted. Then I got my first heat.” His eyes grew distant. “He understood what was happening to me way before I could figure it out and he cornered me… was going to rape me… I wasn’t ready, not even close. It wasn’t consensual. I didn’t want him to touch me…”
Booker’s back molars took a beating as they ground against each other in an effort to keep his bear contained and his anger in check at trying to imagine how scary that would have been for Frey. Popi had explained once that the first heat was difficult for an omega. “Did he… did he…”
Fuck, he couldn’t even say it. His blood ran cold even with the fury burning his innards with its wild heat.
“No… he didn’t. In his rutting state, he was out of his mind and not thinking about anything other than…” When Frey returned his attention to Booker, his chest hurt from the pain Frey didn’t conceal. “Fucking me. He sliced me up some, bruised me, tore my clothes and terrorized me out of the skulk, away from my family. I was lucky.” At how he worked to inject some positivity into his voice, broke Booker .
He buried his face in Frey’s neck, rocking them both in his need to soothe. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured repeatedly. “So fucking sorry that he didn’t seek your permission.”
Frey’s tiny hands crept around his neck, fingers sliding into his hair and clinging on. He said nothing, just held on as Booker worked to get his emotions under control.
Things slotted together. The conversation with Ziggy, why he would want an omega to help with his heat. He’d gotten attacked, that was enough to make all alphas off limits. What a fucking mess.
They sat like that for the longest time; the sky getting grayer and Booker not once stopping the rocking motion, regardless of the occasional passerby. He wasn’t embarrassed, his sole thought was how he could make things right for the man who’d been brave enough to confess his deepest secret. To share with him… an alpha.
“That isn’t all of it… but I… not today… is that okay?” he asked, not looking at Booker, which made his stomach take a nosedive.
What more could there be? He wasn’t pushy… alright he was, but he got now was not the time.
“Would you mind if I took the rest of the day off? I’m hungry and tired. I’m not sure I’d be much use to you.”
He sounded so unlike the Frey Booker knew, his throat felt raw when he swallowed, giving himself time to collect himself. “Of course. I’ll order us takeout and I could run you a hot bath if you like…”
“Ohhh… like with bubbles? ”
Booker’s guts took another hit at the delicateness of Frey’s hopeful look. “What’s a bath without bubbles?”
He gave him a cheeky wink, mostly for effect, because he wasn’t feeling cheeky at all. “And if you’re good, I might even order a cake delivery and share it with you.”
Frey’s eyes widened. “You’d share your cake with me?”
Booker chuckled at the shocked awe. “Yep,” he edged forward carefully, to stand with ease, not attempting to put Frey down. He settled him more comfortably in his arms as he headed towards where he’d parked his car.
“Erm… I can walk.”
Coming to a stop, Booker met Frey’s stare. “Do you want to walk?”
“If I said yes… would you put me down?”
Booker and his bear wanted to hunt the fucker down that put the doubt in Frey’s tone. In his eyes. “Yes. Immediately.”
His smile held a bit more of the flirty fox Booker was used to. “Then no, I don’t wanna walk.”
He nestled his head into the crook of Booker’s neck. There was a slight pause before he brushed a kiss over Booker’s pulse. “Thank you,” he whispered, loud enough for Booker to hear.
Booker gave no thought to his next words as they slipped out. “ My little fox , you’re welcome.”
He’d berate himself for his sappy behavior later, when he called Pam to rearrange his day. Whatever happened next, he wasn’t leaving Frey alone when he was this emotional.
If that excuse works for you, go with that.
Fuck off!