Chapter 23 #2
Julien worked out. He didn’t skip leg day.
So why in the world were his thighs on fire before they’d even reached the blasted halfway point?
He put his palm on his knee and shoved down to help propel himself up the next step.
His breaths were heaving in his ears, and, quite honestly, he was embarrassed by the amount of sweat that was slicking its way down his temples.
“How’re you doing back there?” Martha wheezed.
It shouldn’t make him feel better, the sound of her struggle with their ascent. What kind of gentleman was he?
“The lighthouse keeper must have had quads of steel,” he managed to puff out.
Martha laughed. “I think we’re almost there.”
“Good.”
She was right. It didn’t take much longer before they reached the landing surrounding the light.
The room was stuffy, the sun shining through the glass creating a sort of greenhouse effect.
A door led to an outside railed area, and Julien stepped out for a bit of fresh air.
An ocean breeze instantly started to cool the dampness of his skin, and he closed his eyes and concentrated on catching his breath.
He needed to add more cardio to his workouts.
“Wow.” Martha’s awestruck voice beside him made him open his eyes. “You can see for miles.”
It was true. The ocean stretched out before them, seemingly without end. It was a rare cloudless day, the soft light blue of the sky meeting the dark deep blue of the water in the sharp line of the horizon.
“Look!” Martha grabbed his forearm with one hand, pointing excitedly toward the Atlantic with the other. “Dolphins!”
“Where?” Julien scanned the water, but he didn’t see anything.
“There!” she exclaimed again.
This time Julien saw the curve of a dorsal fin as it arched out of the water before disappearing again. A second later, another fin broke the surface. “Looks like there are two.”
They watched the dolphins until they swam out of sight.
“Tell me something about yourself I don’t know,” Martha said unexpectedly.
“Um.” Julien blinked. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything. We still have a little time to kill until the rocket launch, right?”
Julien checked his watch. She was right. “Okay. Let’s see.” He tried to think of something interesting to tell her, but it was hard to think of something on the spot. “My favorite color is blue.”
She rolled her eyes. “I knew that. Well, at least I knew that it used to be blue. I guess it’s nice to know it hasn’t changed.” She propped her arm on the railing. “Try again.”
“Um. Oh! When I was sixteen, a wild boar chased me—”
“Up the oak tree in the backyard, where you were stranded for hours. My dad found you, and it took another fifteen minutes to convince you the boar was nowhere to be seen. You insisted on having pork chops for dinner.”
Julien stared at her. “How did you know that?”
She smirked up at him. “Try again.”
“My favorite ice cream flavor is—”
“Spumoni.”
Julien’s jaw dropped.
Martha laughed. “I think you’ve forgotten that we sort of grew up together, in a way.”
Which would mean he should know similar things about her, right? He thought about it, trying to see if he could recall any such facts. Nothing.
“Don’t worry.” Martha grinned. “It would probably be a little disturbing if you’d paid the same sort of attention to me as I did you back then.”
For some reason, Julien took that as a challenge.
“You run your thumb back and forth over the curve of your fingertips when you’re nervous.
And when you’re starting to get angry, your mouth puckers, creating four tiny lines above your top lip.
For some reason, you always eat your food in a circular pattern on your plate, taking a bite of whatever is on the right side and then working your way clockwise. ”
Martha stared at him, speechless. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Shouldn’t have admitted how much he’d noticed about her since their reacquaintance.
“What happened with Lauren?” she surprised him further by asking. Surprised she even knew who Lauren was. Surprised she was taking the conversation there.
Should he answer? These sorts of topics were well outside the professional boundaries.
“She was frustrated that I never seemed to be able to give her the amount of attention that she needed,” he found himself saying anyway.
“I was busy earning my MBA while also working full-time at the publishing house. She’d graduated but wasn’t really interested in finding a job, so she had a lot of time on her hands.
Time she wanted me to devote to her. After a while, she grew bitter.
She said that if I adored her as much as she deserved then I would’ve found a way to make her more of a priority. She called the wedding off after that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. In hindsight, I think she was right. Neither one of us loved the other to the degree that it takes to make a marriage work.” He leaned his forearm along the railing. “What about you? Why haven’t you ever married?”
Her gaze slid to the side, but even though the eye contact had broken, the moment hadn’t. Her shoulders rose and fell softly. “When you live in a small town, it’s hard to meet new people. I tried the dating apps thing for a bit, but I’m not exactly swipe-right material.”
Julien’s brow furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shrugged again. “It’s just the way things are with a lot of guys.”
“What are you talking about?”
She met his gaze, pain in her own. “Are you really going to make me spell it out?”
“You’re going to have to, because I don’t have a clue what you’re trying to say.”
A huff of disbelief escaped her lips. “My size, Julien. I’m thicker than an unabridged dictionary and, in my experience, a lot of guys on those apps prefer a slim little novella.”
His first reaction was to laugh at her comparison, but then he heard what she was saying. His mood did a one-eighty.
“It’s fine. I like words and appreciate all their definitions.” She looked up at him. “In case you aren’t following my metaphor, I’m saying I don’t hate my body. I’m just stating facts, and the facts are that—”
“Martha,” he cut her off, “you’re fired.”
Her head reared back. “Excuse me?”
“I need to say something, and I can’t say it while you’re in my employ, so, you’re fired.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very.” His jaw ticked. “And since I am no longer your boss, temporarily or otherwise, I’m going to tell you how incredibly beautiful you are.
You’ve been torturing me every minute of every day that we’ve been together, and if it wasn’t for the fact that we’re colleagues right now and that I am in a position of authority over you at King, I would have asked you out that first day you stepped foot into my office and back into my life. ”
Her eyes widened with each of his words, her blinks coming slower.
He smoothed out an invisible wrinkle in his shirt, hoping he hadn’t made her uncomfortable with his bluntness.
“Now, I’m about to rehire you, which means I will once again be your boss.
I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, but I couldn’t let you go on thinking men don’t find you extremely desirable. ”
She laid a hand on his arm. “Julien, that was . . . Wow. That was a lot to process.” She took a deep breath, a smile fluttering across her lips.
“First, I didn’t say any of that because I needed you to defend me or was looking for any sort of compliment from you.
My positive body image has to come from me, not from an outside source.
That being said, thank you. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and I suspect it cost you quite a bit to admit to any of those thoughts or feelings.
” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Not having a romantic relationship with someone you work with is a hard line in the sand for you, isn’t it? Any specific reason?”
Julien curled his fingers into his palms. “A classmate of mine in college. When she was doing her internship, her supervisor took a romantic interest in her. Any time my friend was shown preferential treatment, the other interns would claim it was because she was reciprocating with special favors of her own behind closed doors. Her supervisor would ask her to do things, and she felt pressured to obey because he was her boss and she was afraid if she didn’t comply then she’d lose her position.
The whole thing was messy and ugly and, without getting into too many personal details, ultimately killed both of their careers and reputations.
” He took a moment before continuing. “I like you, Martha. More than I should, given our positions. But if Squire acquires your books, nothing can happen between us.”
Her eyes were sad as she nodded.
Suddenly, a bright light raced up into the sky in the distance. White contrails streaked behind the rocket as it climbed into the atmosphere and then arced with the earth’s contours, saving either of them from having to say anything further as they watched the rocket slowly disappear into space.