3. Blowing Off a Little Steam
3
Blowing Off a Little Steam
My legacy? I hope it’s more than my filmography, more than my image on screen. I hope I showed women you can be sexy and serious, tough and compassionate, funny and dramatic. And that because I fought for equal pay and pushed for more female directors in this industry, women see positive role models in films and in life.
Doris Starling, actress in more than sixty films
LUCIE
I stared into his deep brown eyes. The scotch had smoothed some of the sharp corners from my feelings of inadequacy, but as soon as I walked into Barb’s and saw Danny’s muscular arms flexing as he carried that ice bucket, I knew what I needed. And that was to peel off his ridiculous pink T-shirt—must’ve been a Valentine’s Day thing since Barb and Leo wore them too—and get his veiny forearms wrapped around my thighs.
I knew what they said about not shitting where you eat. Was it a terrible idea to fuck where I drank? With my downstairs neighbor?
Absolutely. But no one gave me orgasms like Danny Carbone, and I fucking deserved one after tonight’s reminder that I wasn’t good enough.
I raised my eyebrows after a few seconds of silence. Normally, Danny was a great listener. It made him a fabulous bartender. And a couple months ago, one of the best hookups I’d ever had. But tonight, he either had cotton in his ears, or he was being deliberately obtuse.
I was never one to mince words.
“Want to come to my place when you’re done working?” I asked.
With a chuckle, Barb rolled her chair to the far end of the bar.
“I—not tonight, Lucie.” His cheeks matched his shirt. He was a couple years younger than me with smooth skin that went blotchy when he blushed.
“Why not tonight?” I leaned forward, letting my arms frame my chest to give him a peek at my cleavage from the button front of my dress. “Do you have a girlfriend now?”
“No, but it’s…it’s not a good idea.” He pulled the rag from the pocket of his low-slung jeans and wiped the beer taps.
“What’s wrong with blowing off a little steam? We’re good together.” At least, I’d thought we were. The couple of times we’d done it, he went slowly and paid attention. He could tell when I’d had enough teasing and needed a release. And when he’d come, his eyes had literally rolled back in his head. Though, after, when I expected him to pull on his pants and go like every other guy I’d hooked up with, he’d gotten a weird expression. Almost sad. Had he not liked it?
I studied his face.
“We were good together,” he said. With the way he emphasized the word were, the knot tightened in my stomach. That expression was back, his pretty lips turned down. A piece of shiny heart-shaped confetti glittered in his dark hair. Hair I wanted to release from that ridiculous bun and run my fingers through. Maybe pull it a little.
“Is it because it’s Valentine’s Day?” I wanted to flick that confetti. He had the softest hair, like mink. “I swear I’m not one of those people who thinks if we fuck on February 14 th it means we’re together forever.”
“I know, I know.” He ran a hand through his hair, and the sparkly heart fell to the floor.
“Then what’s the problem? Look.” I leaned closer and lowered my voice. “I had a shit night. I’m feeling kind of vulnerable. I’m pretty sure an orgasm will make me feel better.”
His lips turned up on one side, then he chuckled. “Hell, Lucie. You don’t hold anything back, do you?”
I shrugged. “What’s the point of tiptoeing around things? If I tell you what I want, I’m much more likely to get it. Besides, you look like you could use a pick-me-up too.”
Barb rolled her chair toward us. “Danny, you opened today, so it’s only fair that Leo and I close. Things have gotten pretty slow, so you can go whenever you’d like.” She winked at me.
I smiled back. I’d liked Barb since I’d moved into her building two years ago. She was a straight shooter like me. When I looked back at Danny, his gaze was glued to my boobs. Score.
“You coming?” I asked, slowly rising from the chair.
He licked his lips. “Yeah.”
I sauntered out of the bar into the vestibule and took the sharp turn into the residents’ entrance. After unlocking it, I climbed the first flight of stairs as Danny’s heavier footsteps echoed behind me. We passed his floor and continued up the second flight.
I unlocked my door, flicked on the light, and held the door for him. Pausing, he scanned my place as if he were looking for changes since the last time he’d been up here. It was a while ago, around Barb’s birthday in December. It had been a wild night in the bar after she shared her plans to retire by her next birthday and announced that Danny and Leo had offered to buy her out.
Danny’s face had glowed that night. And even though he never drank anything but water behind the bar, his eyes had been bright and a little unfocused, drunk on joy. He’d come out from behind the bar to catch me up in a dance to “Walking on Sunshine,” and when the song ended, our hands stayed on each other’s bodies.
Tonight, his eyes were flinty, like he was looking for a reason to walk out. I wasn’t about to let him escape. He needed an orgasm as much as I did. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I grasped his hand to pull him inside. I shut the door, locked it, and tossed my coat over the back of a dining chair. Then I stepped in front of him and rested my hands on his broad chest.
“This shirt is ridiculous. It’s got to go.”
“Shirt? Oh. Yeah. Barb wanted us to look festive.”
“You look like Bartender Ken.”
It was the wrong thing to say. His eyes narrowed. “I think?—”
“Don’t think.” I ran my hands down his chest to the button of his jeans. “Just relax.”
I unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the zipper, dragging my fingertip along the front of his boxers. They weren’t the sporty kind but the regular kind with the extra fabric at the butt, cotton in a no-nonsense plaid pattern. He hardened under my touch, tenting the thin fabric. I lowered onto my knees on the rug and dragged his shorts down his legs, then ran my palms up his strong, hairy thighs.
“Oh, uh, you don’t have to?—”
I licked him from root to tip. Instead of finishing that sentence, he groaned. Yes, he needed this as much as I did. Briefly, I wondered why before I refocused on my task.
His dick was gorgeous. Veiny like his forearms with a slight upward curve that felt amazing inside me. He was uncut, and the foreskin had already pulled back to reveal the glossy pink head. He was longer than I could comfortably fit in my mouth, so I licked my hand and squeezed the base of his dick while I teased the head with my tongue. I felt, more than saw, the tension leave his shoulders.
I sucked on the head and scratched my short nails down the back of his thigh, feeling the taut skin over his hamstring muscle. Maybe his manual-labor muscles were the secret to the amazing sex. I’d have to remember that the next time I was tempted to hook up with one of the white-collar guys I usually went for.
His muscles tightened, and I sucked harder.
“Lucie, I?—”
I dipped my tongue into the divot under the head, and his dick jerked. He let out a shuddering breath as his release filled my mouth. I held on until he finished, then swallowed.
Gently, he touched my hair, then my cheek. “Sorry. I tried to warn you.”
“It’s fine. As long as you’ll be ready to go again in a bit?”
“I can go again right now.” He bent and, putting his callused hands under my elbows, lifted me to standing. He dropped to his knees, not bothering to kick off his jeans, and ducked his head under my skirt. “You should wear more skirts. It makes it easier to…oh.”
“Oh? Oh my god.” I’d forgotten about my shapewear. I’d let Carly, who was a stylist, talk me into it. She’d promised it’d create a better line when I wore dresses. But fuck me if it didn’t make me look like a sausage. “Just a sec. I’ll roll it down.”
“Nuh-uh.” His finger traced a line between my legs, and I shivered even before I felt cool air on my wet skin. “This thing has a fly, like boxers. So you can whip it out?”
His teasing words matched his teasing fingers. I sucked in a breath. “In theory. I tried it once. It was a total failure. Had to go commando the rest of the day. Now I roll them down and wrestle back into them when I’m done. If you’ll give me a minute?—”
“No need.” A gust of hot breath was all the warning I had before his tongue hit my labia.
“Oh god.”
He pushed through the gusset with his tongue and lips and a scrape of teeth. I grabbed the back of a dining chair to keep myself upright as pleasure rocketed up my spine.
Yesssss.
I forgot about the spandex holding my belly in and lost myself in the sensation of his sexy lips and talented tongue worshiping me where I stood. Unlike most guys I slept with, he didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Instead of shoving a finger into me or going straight for my clit to try to speed things along, he used his thumbs to spread me, feasting on my center. I forgot all about my shit evening, my dad, and my career failures as my world filled with Danny’s touch. Pleasure coiled in my belly. My vision grayed at the edges, and my knees shook.
I gripped the chair harder. “More.”
I didn’t have to say another word. He grabbed my ass with one of his powerful hands and licked up to my clit. One touch of his tongue rocketed me to the roof. And when he closed his lips around it and gently sucked, I soared, squealing, straight on into the stars beyond.
When I opened my eyes, he still kneeled before me. He’d come out from under my skirt and was studying me, a glistening, satisfied smile on his face.
I tapped his shoulder. “Don’t look so smug. I was halfway there from the blowjob I gave you.”
He smiled even broader. “Sucking me off turned you on?”
I smoothed my skirt. “I’m not going to apologize for being a sexual person who gets turned on both giving and receiving.”
“I love that about you.”
“Want some water?” I moved toward the kitchen to hide my trembling lips that didn’t know whether to smile or cry. It had been a weird night.
“Please.”
I filled two glasses from the pitcher in my fridge. When I turned, he’d set his sneakers by the door, his jeans and the ridiculous tee folded on top. He looked relaxed, like it was normal to stand around your neighbor’s apartment wearing nothing but a shit-eating grin.
I handed him his glass and waved at his erection. “Holy refractory period. Looks like you’re ready for more.”
He shrugged. “I also get turned on by giving.” He tipped back his head and chugged the water. I sipped mine, pretending not to ogle his throat as it worked. Or his beautiful cock.
He set the glass on the counter. “Want to go again?”
This time, there was no sad bow of his lips, only a nonchalant half-smile despite the heat sparking in his brown eyes. Lust? I could work with that.
“Uh-huh.” Grabbing his hand, I carried my water into my bedroom and set it on the coaster on the nightstand. I started to unbutton my dress, but he laid a hand over mine.
“Let me.”
“It’ll be faster if I?—”
“Let me,” he repeated.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
Smirking, he pushed the button through the hole, then slid his fingers down my chest to the next button. He went slowly and steadily, dragging his fingertips down my front as he went. A tiny line formed between his eyebrows. Like he wasn’t thinking about anything else but me.
God, that was hot.
By the time he’d unbuttoned the dress enough that it slipped off my shoulders to the floor, my shapewear was soaked. Vaguely, I wondered if Woolite could save it, but Danny distracted me with a kiss to the valley between my breasts.
“That dress and this bra wrecked me tonight,” he muttered as he reached behind me and unfastened the clasps.
I smirked. My big boobs were a pain at work, where they reminded everyone I wasn’t one of the guys, but tonight I was grateful they’d reeled in some stress relief. “Glad you liked it.”
When my bra joined my dress on the floor, Danny held up my breasts—they fit into his long fingers perfectly—and kissed along the side of my right boob to the tip, which he licked and sucked to a needy peak. He pinched it with his fingers, then kissed along the midline to my left breast and repeated the action.
I rubbed my thighs together, chasing the tingling sensation. “Dan—” Oh god, that had come out as a whine. I cleared my throat. “Danny,” I said firmly, “I’m ready.”
He nipped my nipple, making me gasp. “But I’m not.”
Two could play the teasing game. Reaching between us, I gripped his hard length. “I disagree.”
He chuckled. “Physically ready and mentally ready are different. I wanna see if you can come from this.” He closed his lips around my nipple and did something I would’ve told you a second before was physically impossible. He somehow sucked and licked at the same time, while he plucked my other nipple harder.
Wires crossed in my brain, and my sex throbbed. He did it again, and fireworks burst behind my squeezed-shut eyelids as I made an unintelligible sound. He lapped at my breast and gentled his touch as aftershocks squeezed my abdomen. “God. Damn. You’re going to have to give me a minute.” I flopped onto my bed.
“Take your time.”
I felt another aftershock as he rolled the tight undergarment off my hips. The covers shifted under me, then the mattress dipped as he scooted toward me and tucked my back against his front, his erection hard against my tailbone. He pulled up the covers, protecting us from the chilly night air. In my lust, I’d forgotten to turn up the heat.
My body warmed as his hand stroked from my breasts over my belly, then down my thigh. He reversed direction, his fingers running up the inside of my thigh, then coming to rest between my legs, where he petted my clit. I sighed and stretched my leg over his, opening to his touch. His skillful fingers danced over me, reminding me of the way he polished glasses at the bar, his movements gentle but assured.
When my thighs trembled, I said, “Condoms are in the bowl.”
His fingers stilled, and he let out a short sigh. “I know.”
He kissed the spot between my neck and shoulder as he reached over me and pulled a condom from the bowl. He rolled away for a moment, then back, his latex-covered cock slipping between my legs. “This okay?”
“Yeah.” I rested my leg on top of his, and he gripped it as he pushed inside me. I felt a stretch, then delicious friction as I ground into his lap.
He squeezed my hip. “Wait a sec.”
I stilled. “You okay?”
“I don’t want to go off too soon.”
I laid my hand over his and took a slow breath. “Okay.”
He mirrored my breath, then he moved our hands to the center of my chest, over my racing heartbeat.
“What do you think about when you’re trying to slow down?” I asked.
“Dunno. Work. Sometimes I think up new drinks.”
“What would be in a ‘Hookup with My Upstairs Neighbor’?”
“Hmm.” He nuzzled my neck. “Something strong as the base. Whiskey, then something spicy and sweet. I’d make a jalapeno and passionfruit syrup and serve it with a cherry garnish.”
“Why a cherry?”
“I like spicy and sweet together. And because of how you can tie the stem in a knot with your tongue.”
I craned my neck to see his face, but it twinged. “Ow. Shift.”
He pulled out, and I rolled over to face him, straddling his leg. “How did you know I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue? I haven’t done that since my twenties. Not even on Thanksgiving night, when you had to carry me out of the bar.”
“Just a feeling.” He grinned. “Not only is your tongue extremely talented, but it seems like the sort of thing teenage Lucie would’ve practiced until she mastered it.”
“Ugh.” I buried my face in his chest. He smelled faintly of beer and the sweet bite of whiskey. “Two whole jars of them one weekend when my parents were away at some writers’ conference. I’d met a girl who did it as a party trick.”
He chuckled. “There’s that competitive streak.”
“That was a lucky guess. I’m not that obvious.”
“Only to someone who pays attention. Here.” He guided me to straddle him. “Like this.” I sank onto his cock. We both sighed when our hips met.
I rocked forward, and he grunted. “Good?” I asked.
“Very.” He licked his thumb, set it on my clit, and rubbed gentle circles over it. “You good?”
I clenched my muscles around him. “Very.”
I set the pace, starting with a slow, comfortable rocking motion. As sensation spiraled through me from the combination of his hand on my clit and his dick lighting me up inside, I rose and fell over him. He held my hips as his legs trembled under me and let me take the lead.
Most guys I slept with seemed to feel that it was their duty to direct things in bed. I liked that Danny wasn’t like that. He’d let me take charge if that’s what I wanted. Even if I wasn’t in the mood to lead, he checked in to ensure I was enjoying myself as much as he was.
Tonight, as I ogled his muscular chest and abs, as I admired those pretty lips, parted in a soft smile, as I sought pleasure to erase the pain of inadequacy I’d felt at that terrible banquet, I enjoyed myself immensely.
Danny’s thumb grew more insistent, and my body responded. Tingles rocketed through me until I hummed like the office printer before it shot out a toasty-warm page. My release hit in a wave of heat that forced a choking cry from me. Danny thrust up under me, then stilled.
Shaking, I lowered myself across his chest and nestled my nose into his neck. God, he smelled good.
“Wow,” I said.
“Uh-huh.”
Wetness dribbled down the inside of my thigh. “Huh. I think I might’ve squirted a little. I thought that only happened in porn.”
He huffed out a laugh. “Lucie.”
“What?” I propped my chin on his chest. “Am I not allowed to say porn? Or admit that I watch it?”
“No, no.” He swiped a sweaty tendril of my hair off my forehead and tucked it behind my ear. “Your lack of filter. It’s refreshing. A lot of women?—”
“You mean the ones your mother introduces you to at church?” He blinked, so I said, “I’ve heard Leo asking you about your dates with the ‘church girls.’”
He nudged my hips, and I lifted off him. “I’d rather not talk about other women while I’m still inside you. All I’m saying is that a lot of them aren’t as frank as you. I like knowing what you’re thinking.”
I stopped myself from kissing his chest. Hookups didn’t do tender things like that. “Mind if I go first in the bathroom? I’m sticky.”
“Go ahead.”
I cleaned myself up and brushed my teeth, then I put on the robe that hung on the back of my bathroom door. When I emerged, Danny was on the edge of the bed, still naked, elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. His normally olive complexion was white.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I…I don’t know. The condom. It broke.”
Guess I hadn’t squirted after all. “Shit. I didn’t think they were expired.”
“I checked. They’re not. Just a fluke. I got tested at my physical a few months ago. No STIs. And I haven’t been with anyone since—except you.”
Really? A hot guy like him? “Same. All clear at my physical last month. Wait… It wasn’t last month. It was before Christmas…” I ran a calculation in my head. Shit! I was overdue for my quarterly shot. I’d missed it to cover a story in LA. “There’s a chance my birth control isn’t current.”
“Want me to run out for Plan B?”
A wave of exhaustion hit me. After a full day at work, the banquet, and two orgasms, all I wanted to do was sleep, not drag myself to the pharmacy—because no way would I let Danny do it for me—and endure whatever side effects I’d experience. As long as I took it within a couple of days, I’d be fine. I shook my head. “Tonight? It’s almost two. I’ll get it on my lunch break tomorrow.”
“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” The shallow crevice was back between his eyebrows.
“No, I’ll take care of it. There’s a pharmacy around the corner from my office. Speaking of which…” I yawned.
“Right.” When he unclasped his hands, they trembled.
I didn’t know if it was the post-orgasm hormones or a wave of sympathy for his broken-condom freak-out that made me say, “Why don’t you stay?”
“You wouldn’t mind?” His brown eyes turned up like a puppy hoping to be allowed on the couch.
“It’s late. Lie down.” I circled to the other side of the bed, shrugged out of my robe, and slipped under the covers.
After switching off the lamp, he rolled to my side of the bed and tucked me against his chest. “This okay?”
“Yeah, but I usually have trouble sleeping. I might toss and turn for a bit.”
“Toss away. I don’t mind.”
My heavy eyelids closed. The orgasms had done their work— that or his warm breath on the back of my neck. I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.