Chapter 17
J oseph opened the front door and smiled at Shona. “This is a nice surprise.” His smile disappeared when he saw the frown on her face. “What’s wrong?”
Adele ran down the hallway. “Shona! You should see the photos of Paris’ wedding on Facebook. There’s a picture of you and me with Louie.”
“Mabel said she was going to post them last night. I’ll have a look at them later. Did you have a good sleep after all the ice cream we ate?”
“I had a great sleep. Can you teach me how to quilt today?”
Shona shook her head. “I’d like to, but I have to work in my store. Would you mind if I spoke to your dad for a while?”
“I don’t mind. I’m drawing some more pictures for my book. Do you want to see them when I’m finished?”
“I’d love to.”
Joseph pointed toward the kitchen. “We can talk in there.” He didn’t know what had upset Shona. After they’d left Paris and Richard’s wedding, they’d gone to Betty’s Creamery and ordered the biggest ice creams on the menu. It was the perfect ending to an emotional day. Or so he’d thought.
Shona stood in the middle of the room looking a little lost. “I should’ve called before I came here.”
“Don't worry. You’re welcome anytime.” While Shona worked out how to say what was on her mind, he went through everything that might have upset her. The only thing he could think of was the money the trust had given to her business. But John had promised he wouldn't tell anyone where the funding had come from. And, if he couldn't trust John, there was no hope for anyone else.
“When I told Nate I'd received funding for my store from the Carol Hirshfield Trust, he did something I should’ve thought of. He looked on the Internet for any information about them.”
Joseph's heart pounded. She’d uncovered the one thing he didn't want her to know about. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you about the trust.”
Shona folded her arms across her chest. “Is it your trust or your father's?”
“It's mine. I started it in memory of my mom.”
“Why didn't you tell me about the money?”
Joseph pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. “Would you feel more comfortable sitting down and talking about it?”
“I’m too upset to sit down.”
He returned the chair to the table and ran his hand around the back of his neck. “I didn't tell you about the money because I was worried you wouldn't accept it.”
“You're right. I wouldn't have accepted it, but I would’ve been grateful that you'd offered it to me. I could have found the money somewhere else.”
“There aren't many organizations that can find twenty thousand dollars in a few weeks. You’d missed all the funding rounds you might have been able to use. Even the county can’t assess an application in two weeks.”
Shona threw her hands in the air. “So you got on your white horse and came to my rescue. But I didn't need to be rescued. I wanted to stand on my own feet and be responsible for whatever happened to my store.”
“You couldn't have opened your store without the money.”
Shona lifted her chin. “I would have found the money from somewhere else.”
Joseph sighed. “Fine. You would’ve found the money from somewhere else, and then what?”
“I would’ve opened my store exactly the way I did.”
“No, you wouldn't. Even if you'd found an organization to sponsor you, depositing the money into your bank account would have taken at least two weeks. That was two weeks you didn't have.”
“Penny knew I wanted to open my quilt store in that cottage. We’d had meetings about what I needed and how I wanted the store to look. She did everything she could to make it happen.”
Joseph leaned against the kitchen cabinets. “Only four of the cottages on Anchor Lane can be used for commercial premises. If you'd missed out on your cottage, there was only one other you could have used.”
“I already knew that.”
“What you don't know is that someone else was interested in the cottage you leased. When Penny offered them the fourth cottage, they turned it down and moved their business to Polson.”
Shona frowned. “So, I should be grateful you didn’t tell me the whole story?”
He kept his mouth closed in case he said something he shouldn't.
“Why did you want to loan me the money?”
“Because my mom treasured the quilts my grandmother made. She would’ve enjoyed seeing your store grow into a successful community-based enterprise.” He thought that might have made her less angry with him, but it hadn’t. She still looked as though she was ready to walk out the door at any minute.
“Have you given money to any other groups in Sapphire Bay?”
He hesitated before answering. If she knew how much money he'd donated to the church for The Christmas Wish Program and other fundraisers, she’d think he was addicted to giving away money. And maybe he was.
“I’ve helped with a few of the church’s programs.”
“How many?”
His eyes narrowed. “Enough that it’s made a difference in a lot of people’s lives. And don’t ask me how much money I’ve donated because I won’t tell you.”
“Why?”
“Because the amount of money I have is the only reason I was married to my ex-wife for five years. If she thought I had nothing, she wouldn’t have spoken to me when we met.”
“So, if you pretend you’re poor, nice people will like you and the gold-diggers will leave you alone?”
When she said it like that, it sounded crazy. “Something like that. People treat me differently when they know how much money I have.”
Shona looked at his bare feet, well-worn jeans, and baggy T-shirt, and frowned. “You don’t look rich to me.”
He wasn’t sure what to say to that without getting into more hot water, so he didn't say anything.
Shona rubbed her hand across her forehead. “I can understand why you didn't tell me about the trust when you first loaned me the money. But we’re more than friends now. When people are in a relationship, they share parts of their lives they wouldn't share with anyone else.”
“I didn’t tell you about the trust or how much money I have because I want you to like me for myself, not for what I own.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You think I'm that shallow?”
“No, I don't think you're shallow. I think you’re strong, and brave, and courageous. I want Adele and I to be part of your life.”
“You can't have a life with someone when you don't trust them.” Shona’s voice trembled. “The reason you didn't tell me any of this is because you don't trust me. You think I’ll be exactly like your ex-wife and take advantage of you. But I'm not like that. If you haven't figured that out already, you never will.”
Shona turned to leave.
If he didn’t tell her how he felt about her, he might never get the chance again. “I love you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I'll show you whatever you want and answer all your questions.”
She took a deep breath. “You’re the first man I've ever considered having a relationship with since Chris died. I trusted you to tell me the truth, to let me into your life without looking for reasons why I shouldn’t spend time with you.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you about the trust, about my life in Los Angeles before I came here.”
“It’s too late, Joseph. I'm forty-two years old. I want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have a secret life he’s hiding from me.”
The kitchen door opened and Adele stood uncertainly in front of them. “I’ve finished my…my picture, Shona. Do you want to”—she took a deep breath—“see it?”
Joseph’s heart pounded as he looked into Adele’s terrified eyes. She hadn’t stuttered in more than eighteen months. “It’s okay, pumpkin. We’ll practice the exercises your speech therapist gave you.” He kneeled in front of her and gave her a hug. “It will be all right.”
“No, no it won’t. Shona,” she took another deep breath. “Shona is l…leaving. And it’s all your f…fault.” With tears in her eyes, she ran out of the kitchen.
Shona picked up the piece of paper that had fallen to the floor. Her hand trembled as she looked at the drawing. “I’m really sorry Adele’s upset. Could you tell her that if she still wants to learn how to quilt, I’m happy to show her. Goodbye, Joseph.”
She handed him the piece of paper and left.
He leaned against the kitchen cabinets and closed his eyes. Adele must’ve heard them talking. She adored Shona, and the last thing she'd want to do was say goodbye.
He’d talk to Adele, try to explain what had happened. Try to make sense of the decision he'd made that had destroyed his relationship with Shona.
Before he went to find Adele, he looked at her drawing. A bright red space rocket filled the page. Three people sat inside, smiling and waving from behind a big window—three people who looked remarkably like Shona, Adele, and himself.
Andrea walked across to the sales counter in The Cozy Quilt Shop and stared at Shona’s face. “You look terrible. What happened?”
She looked over Andrea’s shoulder, hoping no one had heard what she’d said. Luckily, the only other people in the store were three women working on their quilts. Between their laughter and the hum of the sewing machines, they wouldn't have heard anything.
Just in case, Shona walked around the counter and steered Andrea toward a display on the far wall. “I told Joseph I couldn't have a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me.”
“What did he say?”
“That he was sorry. He offered to tell me everything about his life, but it's too late.”
Andrea's eyes widened. “Are you sure? I mean, yes, he didn't do the right thing by not telling you everything about the trust. And he could’ve been more upfront about his life. But are you willing to walk away from him and Adele because of it?”
“If he doesn't trust me by now, he never will.” Shona looked around the store. “Most days, I'm at work by seven and don't leave until six o'clock at night. With all the paperwork and other things I need to do from home, I'm tired. I don't have the emotional or mental capacity to show someone how I want to be treated.”
“You’ll feel better once everything settles into a new routine. You've gone from working at the church to owning your own business. It’s a lot to get used to.”
Shona hadn't realized how different it would be. When she wasn't helping her customers, she was meeting people who could provide more products for the store, finding part-time staff to give her a few minutes off the front counter each day, and juggling all the financial aspects of the business. By the time she went home each night, her head was spinning.
“I'm not a naive eighteen-year-old who thinks they have to change if they want a happy relationship. And Joseph isn't a spring chicken, either. He’s fifty, for goodness’ sake. If he doesn't understand how important trust is in a relationship, he never will.”
“Fair enough. If I were in your shoes, I'd be angry too.”
“But?”
“Why does there have to be a but?”
“Because there always is,” Shona told her.
“Not every time. However, in this instance, there is. I don’t talk about my life before I moved to Sapphire Bay. That’s because I don’t want people to treat me any differently because of what happened to me. Does that sound familiar?”
“You’re not Joseph.”
“No, I’m not. But I know what it’s like to want to start again. I was married to a man who regularly beat me. When he tried to attack the boys, I ran away and drove as far as my car would take me. I arrived in Sapphire Bay with a couple of old suitcases and two boys who were so traumatized they couldn't sleep at night. We all have things we prefer not to share. Trust isn’t something that suddenly appears like a carrot in Mr. Jessop’s garden. It has to be nurtured and left to grow at its own pace.”
“I’m sorry about what you went through. It must have been horrible.”
Andrea sighed. “I was young and foolish when I met Scotty. I’m neither of those things now.”
“Do you think I'm overreacting?”
“I'd never think that. But you need to give yourself time to process what Joseph told you. Life’s too short to cut people out of your life because they’ve disappointed you.” Andrea checked her watch. “On that cheerful note, I have to get back to the café. If you want to help me devour a yummy casserole, have dinner with me. It’ll be better than sitting at home on your own.”
“That sounds wonderful. I'll bring some garlic bread and a bottle of wine.”
Andrea hugged her. “You're a woman after my own heart. For now, don't think about Joseph. Enjoy your customers and remember you're making a difference in many people's lives.”
Shona glanced at the women sitting around the sewing table. Because of a small cottage on Anchor Lane, they were enjoying an afternoon together instead of working on their own. Over time, the cottage could become their safe place to fall, the place they came to when they needed a friendly smile or a meaningful conversation. A place of refuge.
She turned back to Andrea and sighed. “How did you become so wise?”
“It took five years of intense therapy, two boys who needed me to be their rock, and a man who believes I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
“David’s lucky he found you.”
“No. I’m the lucky one.” Andrea gave her another hug. “Six-thirty at my house. Remember the wine—we might need it.”
After she left, Shona picked up a box of handmade ornaments. Only time would tell whether Joseph would be a part of her future. Right now, she was more worried about Adele.