Chapter 18
Iwaited up for Adam.
I waited for him to come back while I smiled and ate burgers with Dad, Addy, and my siblings.
I waited for him while we all put on a movie and made hot chocolate.
I waited for him while Dad and Addy read the boys their bedtime story.
And I waited for him after midnight, long after Dad and Addy had gone to sleep.
To be fair, he wasn’t completely incommunicado. He had texted me back twice. Once, after I’d asked him how it was going, he responded with:
Adam:
As well as expected.
Which didn’t help me much because I didn’t know what the fuck to expect out of his dad anymore.
And then when I texted him asking how long he thought he might be, all he said was:
Adam:
Don’t wait up for me. 3
So much for that. I couldn’t sleep right now even if I wanted to.
So instead, I browsed the Hallmark channel for some cheesy, adorable, family-friendly movies.
Even though it was well-past Christmas, there was something comforting about watching a movie where I not only knew exactly how it was going to end, but I could also anticipate all the smaller beats within the movie.
With a sigh, I picked up my phone and texted Adam again.
Me:
I know you said not to wait up, but I can’t sleep. Are you going to stay the night at your Dad’s?
Honesty, right? Well, it didn’t get any more honest than that. At least if I knew he wasn’t coming back tonight, I could potentially allow the sound of Christmas carols to lull me to sleep.
Behind me, I heard the soft shuffle of footsteps. “Hey Turkey,” Dad said quietly.
He didn’t startle me. I knew those footsteps. There was a particular gait Dad always had.
The couch dipped as he slid into the empty spot beside me.
The spot Adam should have been.
I scooted over, nestling into the nook of my dad’s arm and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Hallmark, huh?”
I sighed and turned the volume down a little. “Yeah. Sorry if the noise woke you.”
I felt him shake his head. “It didn’t. I just know my little girl. Stress turns you into an insomniac. So I thought you might want a little company.”
I gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Dad, but you don’t have to do that. I know you’re on call tomorrow night.”
He snorted. “Please. I have twins and a six-month old. I’m basically used to existing on two-hour increments of sleep.”
I groaned dramatically. “Being a parent sounds terrible,” I snickered.
“Nah. The sleepless thing isn’t so bad. The worst part is when your kids are hurting and there’s nothing you can do to help.”
I sighed, keeping my eyes on the movie. “Ahhh,” Dad continued. “The ol’ misunderstanding trope. My least favorite of all the tropes. I mean, come on. Just freaking ask her who the guy was you saw her with in the gazebo and she’ll tell you it was her ex and she was merely returning his family heirloom.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes at him. “Please. Didn’t you and Addy break up because of a misunderstanding? One that all you needed to do was talk to her?—”
He squeezed me in a hug. “Exactly. Why do you think I hate this damn trope so much?”
There was another long pause as we sat in silence. “Do you think Adam will ever be able to detach himself from his father?”
“No,” Dad said without missing a beat.
I pulled out from his embrace and stared at him, mouth agape. “What?”
“And you shouldn’t want him to.”
“But he’s such a jerk.”
“Believe me, I know better than anyone what an ass that man can be. But he’s Adam’s father. He will always be Adam’s father. Which means if you love him, Elijah will most likely always be in his life… and yours. Weddings, birthdays, baptisms, graduations. You’ll need to find a way to exist with him. And while Adam can certainly learn to set boundaries and stand up for you, asking or wanting him to completely detach from family isn’t the answer either. What if someone asked that of you? What if some guy you dated had a problem with me? Would you never speak to me again?”
I rolled my eyes. “Please. We both know that would never happen.”
Dad arched his eyebrow. “Because I’m so awesome no one would ever have a problem with me?”
“No. Because I got my stubborn streak from you. And if some guy I’m dating told me not to speak to you again, I’d probably move into the basement here out of spite.”
Dad’s laugh boomed. “That’s my girl.”
“And you’d probably just have him arrested.”
“Would you blame me?”
While I didn’t think I did anything specifically to Elijah, was it possible he hated me because after I entered the picture, his and Adam’s relationship wasn’t as close? Even if it wasn’t my fault, I’d be the easiest scapegoat. “Do you think there’s anything I need to apologize to Elijah for?”
“You mean like pouring beer over his head?”
I snorted another laugh. “Okay, yeah. That. But anything else? Anything from high school?”
Dad shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. But honestly, he’s the parent. He was the adult back then, not you. If he’s still holding a grudge from some hormonal teenage crap? I think that’s between him and Adam. Just give them time. Give Adam space.”
“It’s been almost twelve hours since he left. Isn’t that enough time and space?”
“Hey,” Dad squeezed my shoulder. “Space can mean a lot of things. Let Adam talk to you when he’s ready. Don’t force the issue. Let him know you’re curious, but don’t pressure him. Remember how hard it was with your mom when she came here to visit the first time?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. Mom never told me she was pregnant. That she had gotten married without telling me or inviting me to be there. It was like I wasn’t even a consideration in her life. Never had been. It took me weeks to fully come to terms with that. Months to forgive her. Dad and Addy never forced me to talk. They would just sit with me, hold me, hug me, love me… and let me feel my feelings.
“Dammit, I hate when you’re right, you know that?”
Dad chuckled. “Then that must be a lot of hate in your life. You should really learn to love when I’m right. It’d be a lot easier on you.”
“Har-har.” I poked him in the ribs. “I just wish I knew if Adam was coming home tonight. I’d be able to sleep if I knew he was safe in bed at home.”
“I’m here,” Adam said from the open front door.
I hopped to my feet, rushing over to him as Dad stood, tightening his robe. “Well, I’m off to bed. G’night you two.”
I threw my arms around Adam’s neck, hugging him, holding him as Dad’s footsteps grew quieter and quieter as he went upstairs.
“Sorry I worried you,” Adam said, his mouth pressed against my neck as he spoke.
“Don’t apologize,” I said. “I knew you needed time. I was just antsy and worried. I’m sorry if I was hounding you all day.”
I desperately wanted to ask him how it went. I wanted all the dirty details. But based on his messy hair and red, tired eyes, I was going to guess it didn’t go very smoothly.
“Sorry my dad’s an ass,” Adam muttered, head still pressed into the curve of where my shoulder met my neck.
“Don’t apologize,” I threaded my fingers through his hair, holding him close to me. “Not for that. He’s your family and always will be. We’ll make it work one way or another.”
I wasn’t entirely sure I believed my own words. Not when said father was actively trying to sabotage us. Even still, it was the right thing to say. And it was true enough… I did want to make it work. I didn’t want to split up a father and son, no matter how big a dick that father was.
With a sigh, Adam pulled back from the hug, looking down at me with weary eyes. “I hope you’re right. I do want to make this work. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“Whatever happens with us this time, it won’t be because of your dad.”
He smirked, but even that looked forced, tired. “It will be a fuck-up of our own accord?”
“Exactly.”
Despite the morose words, he gave a little chuckle. “Not exactly comforting words, Harper.”
I shrugged. “Comforting or not, it’s true. But also, I believe in us, Adam.”
His eyes widened as they searched my face. “You do?”
“I do. We’re a lot more mature than we used to be. And I think we’re really good together. And I trust that even if we’re not going to work out romantically, that we can end our relationship with the same respect and love we’ve had during it.”
The hope in his expression sank so slightly it would have been imperceptible to anyone but me. “There’s one problem with that, Harp. I don’t want us to end.”
I cupped his jaw and pulled him down to me so that our foreheads were pressed together. “I don’t either,” I admitted.
“Good.” Bending, he pressed his mouth to mine, his tongue slipping between my lips. It didn’t take much coaxing for me to open to him. His tongue, gliding across mine, licking into my mouth. His hands fell to my hips and gave them a gentle squeeze.
The kiss left me panting as he pulled away. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, his voice graveled.
“In the morning,” I repeated. As badly as I wanted him right then, I wasn’t about to have sex on my dad’s couch while my little brothers slept just upstairs.
I turned to head to the stairs as Adam reached for the basement door. “Hey Harper,” he whispered, stopping me. “I believe in us, too. And I believe we can make it without another breakup.”
His faith in us made me smile. But I couldn’t agree just yet.
I didn’t know where I’d be in a month. Or a year.
I had already stopped myself from following Adam into adulthood like a lost puppy once. He already knew what his adult life looked like. But I needed to find my path…
And from there, we could see if our roads intersected.
“Good night, Adam.”