Chapter 9
BOONE
Rather than return to my condo at the Five Points Lofts, I followed my gut and took the highway down to the Rawlins. My head was in a weird place. I wasn’t sure why a date was such a big mind fuck for me.
Halfway to Rawlins, I had convinced myself that I only nursed this thing for Nova because I got out of jail to find my best friend committed to a woman. Or maybe this infatuation was my way of coping with being locked up for months.
Even if my feelings were a mistake, the idea of giving up Nova left me in a bad mood. I was downright pissed as I rolled up to the townhouse complex where I grew up. Sitting on my idling ride, I accepted it didn’t matter why I was wound up over Nova. My feelings weren’t going away.
“What’s got you fussy?” my dad asked when I finally turned off my motorcycle.
Billy “Blackjack” Chester was a good man down to his core.
I grew up wanting to be just like him. His dark hair had gone gray around the temples, and he sported wrinkles around his brown eyes.
But he was still a tough man inside and out.
Yet, seeing me locked up ate away at him.
My mom said my dad had only been able to settle down once I was released.
Now, Blackjack offered me a smirk while I entered through the security gate and walked to where he sat next to Louis "Glitch" Tooker on folding chairs. His fellow Rawlins Heretics member still sported shoulder-length brown hair, which both of his sons mimicked.
“Not going to fess up?” Blackjack asked when I stared at him. “Your mom and the dog are in the backyard. I assume you’re here for your mom’s hugs rather than my wisdom.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Talking was rarely my strong suit. Rather than try to explain myself, I left Blackjack and Glitch to their iced tea. Behind the townhomes, I found my mom sitting near the pool.
My Chihuahua Beef Jerky didn’t notice my approach. He was too busy following around Duffy as she circled the gated pool. Her shepherd mutt, Yellow, trailed her. Duffy’s light brown hair was cut short, just under her ears. She wore headphones and mittens. I heard her humming.
I’d grown up with Duffy and her quirks. Autism kept her from talking much or embracing the world in a real way. As kids, we often played with blocks. She always organized hers in a straight line, while I built mine upward.
Though Duffy didn’t acknowledge my arrival, Yarrow smiled brightly and got up from where she was reading. My mom hugged me as if we’d been apart for too long rather than for only a week. My time in jail messed her up in a lot of ways. Dad said she would wake up and cry over how I was in a cage.
“I didn’t know you were coming home,” Yarrow said and sat with me on the bench.
Rawlins truly was my home. Little Memphis was where I spent most of my time, but this smaller town with the townhouse complex was where my heart lived.
I stroked Yarrow’s dark hair. Her blue eyes shone for me in a way they didn’t for anyone else. The way she looked at Goldie was different. Not better or worse. Just different.
“Are you sad?” Yarrow asked while still hugging me. “You feel sad.”
“I screwed up today.”
“How?”
“I got ahead of myself.”
“That happens,” she said and hugged me tighter. “Want to talk about it?”
Sighing, I fessed up, “You know how I have a little thing for Exile’s sister.”
Yarrow released me and smiled up at my face. “I spied on Nova and her girls at the wedding. They’re so pretty. You should marry her and make more pretty babies.”
“Just like that?”
“Sure. I want a grandbaby. Hurry up so I can start catching up to Ginger.”
“Is that a real competition you’re having?”
“No, but she is always showing off pictures of her grandbabies, and I can only show off photos of my grand-dogs.”
Grinning, I stroked her back. “I haven’t talked to Nova much.”
“So what? I barely talked to your dad before I decided he might be the guy for me. I just liked the way he looked.”
“That’s all it took?”
“No, he had to be nice to me, too. But that was for later. And I didn’t care if other men were nice to me. I only cared if he was. Blackjack is special for me in a way he isn’t for anyone else,” Yarrow said and smiled at me. “Is that how Nova feels to you?”
“Yeah. Well, I think so. Today, I started doubting.”
“Was she cold? Should I send your sister to smack around this woman?”
Grinning, I watched Duffy pass by without acknowledging us. Beef Jerky suddenly noticed me and sniffed my boots.
Unlike the other Chihuahuas in his litter, my guy had an odd color scheme. His fur was a patchy black and white on his head and torso, while his legs were beige and white. He looked weird, which is why I immediately wanted him.
While stroking my little guy, I explained to Yarrow about what had happened with the Eddie Murphy face.
“Now, I have a date with Nova in two days.”
“What a strange way to show a man you like him,” my smiling mom said while resting her cheek against my arm. “Goldie doesn’t think you should date Nova.”
“I know.”
“She thinks that you need a normal woman to offset the fucked-up family you were born into.”
“Not fucked up. We’re just different.”
“I don’t mind being fucked up. That’s how I met Ginger and the crew. It’s why I found Blackjack. A normal version of me doesn’t have this life, so I like being fucked up.”
“So do I, but I also want Nova. I’m afraid what I want won’t be what she wants.”
“My boy fears disappointment.”
“I’ve never wanted a woman before. I feel unprepared.”
“Well, the most important thing is to find out if the woman wants you, too. Nova gave you that little paper with the actor’s face. That’s both a sign that she likes you and that she’s a weirdo. She knows the biker lifestyle, so that won’t scare her off. What are you so worried about, Boone?”
After a moment, I admitted, “Her girls.”
“Don’t you like them?”
“They’re cute, but I’m not sure how to act around them.”
“Just be the way you are with Alani’s kids or Lula’s daughter.”
“If Nova and I work out, I’d be, like, their dad. I’m not sure I’m father material.”
“Wait, what happened to their father?”
“He was an abusive fuck to Nova, so her brother ended the asshole.”
Yarrow smiled. “Aww, that’s sweet.”
“Yeah, but they don’t remember him. I’d be the guy they grow up thinking of as their dad. Am I someone built to help raise two little girls?”
“Sure, why the fuck not?” Yarrow muttered. “Is someone talking shit about you?”
“No, but kids scare me.”
Yarrow turned on the bench and took my hand. “When I was more messed up, I would get overwhelmed by stuff. I had to learn to break down problems into smaller parts, so I wouldn’t flip out. That’s what you’ve got to do now. So, what’s step one?”
“A date in two days.”
“Why wait?”
“That’s what we agreed to.”
“Who cares? Do what you want.”
“And what about my fear of her girls?”
“Just hang out with them like you would if they were your friends’ kids.
Don’t start thinking like a daddy. Elle’s going to have her baby in a few months.
You’re going to hold the little guy and talk to him and hand him off when he cries or shits himself.
Just do that with Nova’s girls until you know them well enough to do more. ”
“That sounds simple.”
“You’re thinking too hard about it. I rarely think hard about anything, and stuff turns out fine. When I mess up, your dad cleans up the problem. Be like me and give Blackjack something to do.”
Chuckling, I kissed the top of my mom’s head. She had a horrific childhood. Most people wouldn’t have recovered from such a terrible situation. Somehow, Yarrow put the pieces back together. She might be nuts about a bunch of things, but I never doubted she loved me more than herself.
Maybe that was my real issue with Nova. I was tight with my family. Most of my friends had been in my life since I was little. I hadn’t bonded with many new people since I became an adult. I still felt a little awkward around Ivy.
Now, there was a woman who made my chest feel too full. Life hadn’t been easy for Nova. I wanted to be the right man for her, but I wasn’t sure how to act around a stranger. Would being Boone Chester be enough to make Nova and her girls happy?