Chapter 25 Big Ol’ Grizzly Bear #2
Celi fires off a few precise commands to the bartender, then casually turns to us. Without hesitation, she mentally takes our orders, then leans on the counter, waiting for the bartender to return.
“You shut up.” Dean points at Levi. “You won’t even give us a hint of the new position you two are experimenting behind closed doors.”
“It’s none of your damn business.”
“Says you.”
“You know you’re weird, right?” Levi takes the drinks Celi passes him. “Like messed up in the head.”
“Not as messed up as Bronx tryin’ to steal Hart’s girl.” Dean slaps my chest. “I mean, this guy’s been in it for the long-haul.”
The only long-haul thing I’ve been in is watching her from a painful distance. That’s the truth. Add in that I’ve hurt her so deeply she’ll never forgive me. And I’d never ask her to.
Where the fuck does that leave me?
“Relax, man.” Bronx nods at me. “I know I’ve got a lot of charm, but that’s all it is.”
“He just loves getting under everyone’s skin,” Celi swivels on the stool, her arms loaded with drinks, and she effortlessly passes them out from the neat line the bartender set on the counter. “Jade’s too smart to fall for him.”
“I’m insulted,” Bronx says.
I take my drink. “She’s too smart to fall for me.” I throw it back and order another.
I keep a low profile for the rest of the night, debating leaving so many times my head hurts.
I park myself furthest from Jade, letting the noise of the bar swallow me. One hand around my drink, the other tucked in my pocket. Conversations swirl around me, but I stay quiet.
My eyes on the glass, taking small sips between glances at the room.
Who am I kidding?
Glances at her.
But she’s never looking at me. She’s laughing, drinking, and joking in a way I haven’t seen. She’s entirely in the moment, alive, untouchable.
I see it. I see her. And I should be pissed that she’s not even glancing my way.
But how can I be, when she’s this damn happy?
I’m jealous.
Dammit, I’m jealous.
I look at Levi and Hope, and the jealousy deepens.
I debate leaving again and somehow end up at the indoor horseshoe pits paired up with Levi.
Just fucking great.
Dean and Bronx fight head-on about their grilling expertise.
“Man, if you think your brisket could ever top mine, you’re living in a dream.” Dean throws his horseshoe with one hand while holding his beer in the other.
His shot lands just short of the stake.
Bronx takes a long sip of his beer, eyeing the throw with a smirk. “You really want to go there again? Your ‘brisket’ is just a pile of burnt ends and tears.”
Dean chokes on his beer and shakes his head. “Burnt ends? Fuck you. You wouldn’t know real meat if it slapped you in the face.”
Bronx tosses his horseshoe, landing it perfectly on target. “I know real meat, alright. Yours is overcooked. But hey, at least it’s consistent. Too bad it’s consistently dry.”
They continue their banter as they step out of the pit.
“You’re unusually quiet tonight.” Levi hands me a horseshoe as we step into the pit. “You’re usually quiet, but tonight, you seem off.”
“I’m pissed at you.” I toss the horseshoe without care and step back on the sidelines.
“Did you even try?” Dean bitches. “You’re usually so competitive. What the fuck, Hart? Don’t pair up with me, then take your anger out on your aim. Not fair.”
I lift my beer and salute him before I chug a mouthful.
“Dick,” Dean mutters.
“He tried more than you did on supper.” Bronx’s chuckle is loud and thick, always attracting attention.
Dean shoots him a sidelong glare. “You wouldn’t know trying if it grilled itself and served you a plate. You don’t even season your food. You’re like the human equivalent of a salt shaker without the salt.”
Levi tosses the horseshoe with effortless precision, nailing the target dead center.
“Fuck,” Dean mutters.
“Why are you pissed at me?” Levi stands next to me.
“You have a big mouth.”
“Ahh. This is about the fire ants.”
“Yeah. I thought Jade was running her mouth.”
Levi shakes his head. “Surprisingly not. She cornered me and gave me the rundown so I’d check on you, which I did. I sent you a text.”
“You didn’t mention the ants.”
“I was saving your pride.”
“Then you blabbed it to everyone.”
“Hart, I gave the guys a heads-up before the campfire with the women. I was waiting for her to drag you through the dirt like she always does. Roast you like a marshmallow.”
“And?”
“Nothing. Not a word. Even when Dean hinted, she didn’t even look interested in sharing.”
My eyes flicker across the room, where she’s surrounded by her sisters, dancing and glowing, as if they’re the only ones in the room. There’s this new confidence about her. Not that she wasn’t confident before. Jade Fox is fucking confident, but there’s something else.
It’s the way her body moves in sync with the music. It’s the way she tosses her hair back when she laughs. It’s not anything new; it’s just different.
“What the hell happened yesterday?” Levi asks.
What didn’t happen?
We argued.
We fought.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
But I know precisely where things changed. I saw the moment spread across her face. Watched her fight wash away from her face.
And now? Now she looks so free. Free of our long-lasting fight.
Free of me.
That right there, that’s what’s got me all twisted up inside.
“How the hell would I know?” I step up and toss the horseshoe closer.
“Better.” Dean pops a bottle cap from his beer off the edge of someone else’s table.
“She usually weaponizes any dirt she gets. This time? Silence.” Levi throws and sends his horseshoe sailing in a perfect arc toward the stake.
It lands with a solid thunk, knocking my horseshoe off the metal post.
“Shit. Come on.” Dean spews a mouthful of beer on Bronx.
“Bro!”
“It’s been a long couple of days,” I say. “If you don’t recall, y’all abandoned me with her.”
“Oh, we remember.” Levi twirls the horseshoe.
“That was some Faye and Wilma shit right there,” I accuse him.
“They have a knack for it.” Levi glances over at his wife. “The love thing. They’re spot on, Hart. Even when you don’t want to believe them.”
“Don’t even start.”
Ever since Levi found his true love, he thinks the matchmakers aren’t full of shit. Hell, all my brothers are believers.
But let me tell you, the matchmakers are full of shit.
And I don’t want to discuss my love life with him. Not when he got his Fox. Not when he stood up against our pa and the entire fucking town for her.
“I’m done.” I toss the last horseshoe and listen to Dean lose it.
Competitive idiot.
I’m too antsy to sit, so I lean against our abandoned table, tip my hat down, and stare at her. I don’t care who notices.
Natalie slides into a seat next to me.
Maybe I do care because my eyes shift away.
“Weird, huh?” She doesn’t elaborate right away; she simply sets her drink on the table and follows my previous gaze. “Two people in the same room pretending they don’t see each other.”
“Guess that’s how it goes sometimes.” I glance at my beer. “People get good at pretending.”
“You’re not wrong there.” She lifts her drink, and I clink my glass against it before taking a chug.
“I’ve been holding onto something that doesn’t belong to me.” She reaches into her pocket and sets an old Discman on the table in front of me.
I recognize it right away.
“How do you have this?” I rub my thumb over the initials I carved in the back.
Not my initials—hers.
“She might have thrown away the book, but she didn’t throw this away.”
My eyes snap up to Natalie. “What do you know about the book?”
Her eyebrows hike upward. “That it’s not just hers.”
“She told you?”
Natalie shakes her head. “No, but Jade is the only sister who understands me. Who’s ever understood me or let me tag along. I knew all her secret places on the property, and I would follow her to them.”
My eyes close. I don’t even want to know what she saw us doing.
Necking?
Making out?
Shit.
She laughs. “I didn’t see anything my little eyes couldn’t handle.”
“I bet.” I open my eyes, and that Discman catches my attention.
“But I did see you draw together, and heard you make plans. Sometimes I would hide in the hay loft and listen to all your dreams.”
I sigh. “Dreams aren’t meant to be broken.”
“She was broken, Hart. She kept this for a long time. Even after we all moved to The Hive. But one night after sitting around the campfire alone, she left it next to the logs, and I found it.” Her fingernails tap her glass.
“I took it. She was still hurting after all those years, and I thought if I took it, she’d move on. ”
“Did she?”
Her eyes meet mine. “We both know the answer to that.”
I stare at the Discman I gave her with the mixed CD of songs we listened to together, including the Pointer Sisters.
“But hiding stuff doesn’t help anyone,” Natalie says. “Not books, not portable CD players, not feelings.” She pushes it closer.
I stare at it, thumb slowly brushing over the scratched surface.
She kept it.
A sharp, jagged knot forms in my chest, and when I look at her, she catches my eye for the first time all night.
My knees nearly buckle.
My heart stutters.
Everything in the room goes quiet for a beat. Her eyes on mine, and I swear, time slows down for just a second.
But there’s nothing in her gaze but calm. It’s almost like she’s not looking at me at all. There’s no anger, no challenge, not even the usual pushback.
It’s just steady.
Then she breaks my gaze, and attention is back on her sisters like it had never strayed to me.
“The ball is in your court, Hart.” I’d forgotten Natalie was still sitting with me. “Maybe talk to her before she convinces herself to forget you for good.”
I don’t fucking like how that thought makes me feel.