Chapter 14 #2
“Look who wants presents?” the blonde sang, reaching into her coat for a tube of lipstick.
Unscrewing the lid, Maryanne made a face like an artist creating a masterpiece. Claire leaned forward, puckered, and let her stain her lips a rich berry red.
“Well, I’m not going to lie,” Maryanne shrugged, unimpressed. “It’s a little trampy on you, but Shepherd might like it.”
“It’s the same color you’re wearing!” Claire snorted, snatching the tube from Maryanne’s hands. “I had a lipstick like this once, never had a place to wear it.”
“What do you mean place to wear it? You just wear it,” her friend replied, settling back in her chair.
Claire’s soft smile was gently reprimanding. “That’s easy for you to say, Alpha. If you draw attention, being as pretty as you are, you don’t have to worry about potential complications.”
Yawning, Maryanne shrugged. “That is just silly, Claire—and paranoid. It’s just lipstick. And I guess you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Ain’t no one gonna to be messing with Shepherd’s old lady.”
Green eyes grew sad. “That’s not what I hear is going on outside…”
“What do you mean?”
A guilt-ridden voice confessed, “Women who look like me… because of my flyer.”
“You told her about that?” Maryanne snarled at the hostile male watching from the corner. “What is wrong with you?”
Claire could not see his reaction to her friend’s outburst, but knew it couldn’t be good. She interjected, “I am not a child, Maryanne. I asked, and he told me the truth.”
Maryanne had her own harsh take on things. “None of that was your fault, you know. I thought the flyer was pretty ballsy, but you’ve got to get it through your thick skull, girl. Thólos is a bad place full of bad people.”
“People can change,” Claire breathed, knowing it had to be true.
Maryanne cocked a brow and made a hard point. “Do you think Shepherd can change?”
The Omega tilted her head, thinking about it before looking over her shoulder. Her eyes met Shepherd’s.
He glanced down at her stained lips, seemingly intrigued.
Standing, she walked, careless of her newly lacquered toes, and went to stand before the male.
So many contradictory thoughts were running through her head.
His behavior towards her had changed, was far more palatable, but all of that could easily be summed up as an insincere strategy to gain her affection.
After all, she was certain there had been no change in him outside their den or in his dealings with Thólos.
When her small hand reached up and the female cupped his cheek, Shepherd allowed it, unmoving as she stood between his spread legs. His silver eyes shone, focused and pleased with her attention in front of the Alpha female.
Claire pulled in a breath as if to speak, then hesitated, pouting her red lips until he purred and the back of his warm fingers stroked over her belly.
The question was for herself. “Could Shepherd change?”
It was all there in her expression—how badly she wished he could change. How hard she had tried to affect something in him. Whispering, her voice as soft as the fingertips that touched the flesh of his cheek, Claire asked, “Could you change?”
A warm, large hand enclosed hers, gently removing her touch from his face, Shepherd admonished, “You are neglecting your guest, little one.” Breathing, blinking out of her trance, Claire took a step back as the male pressed some small scissors into her hand.
“I have given her permission to cut your hair, should you wish it.”
Looking down at the little instrument, Claire teased Maryanne. “I don’t trust her with these. Everything will come out cockeyed.”
From across the room, the woman blurted, “How hard could it be?”
Claire smirked, thinking of Maryanne’s godawful attempt ten years prior. “That’s what you said last time, and may I remind you, those terrible bangs took over two years to grow out.”
She moved back to Maryanne and let the blonde trim her hair, fairly certain it would be terrible, and honestly not caring at all if it was.
The only thing about the interlude Claire cared about was the COMscreen Maryanne produced, full of photos of the Omegas, and even one of Corday, who was smiling his dimpled grin as he spoke to whoever was just outside the frame.
On the smallest finger of his hand sat her gold ring, diminutive, but there.
Corday still had faith in her.
Making sure not to look at him too long, Claire set the COMscreen down and remained still as Maryanne snipped.
When the cut was over, dark hair tousled, Maryanne assured in a playfully thick accent, “Very beautiful.”
Handing her a pocket mirror, she frowned when Claire pressed it back, stating, “I don’t need to see.”
Maryanne shoved it back. “It’s not bad, Claire. Take a look.”
“I’m sure you did fine.”
Maryanne knew what was going on, could see through the cracks in her old friend’s mask.
Holding the mirror up, making a point, she snarled once the Omega turned her head away. “What is wrong with you?”
Moving the mirror to Claire’s new line of sight produced the same outcome. Claire looked away. Enough was enough. Maryanne grabbed a fistful of hair and held Claire’s head still, forcing the mirror before the Omega’s face. “Open your eyes and look in the mirror, Claire!”
She did. Claire looked at a hated face, one with full lips that had been painted to be pretty and black hair that had been cut to frame her face.
A face with green eyes and pale skin; a face she had been unable to look at for the last week without seeing dead women who looked like her. Women she had killed.
With a voice that could no long bear inflection, Claire said, “You’re right. The lipstick is trampy.”
“You don’t need to do this to yourself, you idiot.” Maryanne gave Claire’s hair a little yank. “There is nothing wrong with that woman in the mirror. Their deaths are not your fault.”
“Step away from her, Ms. Cauley. Go stand near the door and do not move.” There was nothing but the threat of murder in Shepherd’s voice, every word enunciated with chilling precision.
Maryanne darted back, the behemoth stalking forward. Watching with awe, the Alpha female saw the mountain kneel to his mate. His purr was aggressive, his hands already petting an Omega who seemed composed and patient, but was anything but.
“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Claire explained. “Everything is fine.”
Shepherd spoke in that other language, loud enough that the Followers on the other side began to unlock the door. In a flash, Maryanne was gone. Once the door was bolted, Shepherd pulled Claire to stand and drew her to the room’s luxurious bathroom.
A large mirror hung over the fine sink, and with a flick of the lights there they were, standing side by side, framed in filigreed gold.
“Your skills at deception are abysmal,” Shepherd explained, gesturing at her reflection. “So let’s not waste time, shall we? Why are you only looking at me in the mirror and not at yourself?”
Humiliated that she had allowed this situation, that she had not performed better, Claire looked straight at her reflection. “My stomach was upset.”
“You are lying,” the male roared, hating the strange feeling that was coming through the cord. “What is wrong?”
There were no tears, only a blank stare. “I just can’t look at them.”
A great hand lifted as if to grip her skull. Instead Shepherd clawed through her hair, the nearest thing to a pet an angry Alpha could manage. “Continue.”
In the mirror Claire was dwarfed next to the massive man, small and useless.
“I am angry that I cannot do anything for anyone, that everything I tried only made things worse. I feel powerless, ashamed of myself for my failure and the horrible effect I had on women who look like me.” Beseeching eyes darted to his reflection.
“And I’m frustrated that no matter what I say to you, to a man I am pair-bonded to, that it would change nothing—even if I had the power to redeem you—because Thólos did horrible things when the people could have rallied and brought you down. ”
“The price you are exacting from yourself is not yours to pay. It is Thólos’.”
She was getting angry. “I am Thólos, Shepherd. Born and raised here. I grew up here. My parents are buried here.”
“Look at yourself in the mirror, Claire O’Donnell.
” The male reared up as he spoke. “You are an Omega, physically small and weak, yet incredibly intelligent. That said, however shrewd you may be, you are also foolish enough to think you must bear the burden of others’ sins…
That is your true flaw. The psychological trauma you are causing yourself is both immature and pointless.
It does nothing to change the scenario. And though I am honored you would consider the thought of my redemption as worthy, it is your own peace you need to focus on now.
Self-pity and playing the martyr help no one. ”
The woman gave a caustic snort. “Well, I failed at playing the hero.”
In a voice that was hard and assertive, Shepherd snarled, “But you didn’t, and you know it. Forty-three people are alive because you had the nerve to stand up to me. You won, Claire. No single adversary has ever beaten me before. Ever. Take your victory.”
It was not that simple, not when the world and her mind were in a constant state of turmoil. Not when she was only breathing to buy time.