33. Ishaan
THIRTY-THREE
Ishaan
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Amay sounded genuinely curious.
Virat said nothing. He just watched him. The knowledge in his eyes made Ishaan’s skin prickle.
Ishaan buried his face in his hands, unable to meet their eyes.
“Alright, Mr. Overthinker,” Amay said. “Lay it on us.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Ishaan pulled himself to his feet, frustrated anger mixing with regret and shame, a toxic mess of emotions swimming through his veins. “I’m leaving,” he said, heading for the door.
“Ish.” Virat’s quiet voice stopped him.
“What?” he snapped, the word a roar of pain.
“Are you going to just leave Mayukhi here?”
Ishaan froze, his hand on the doorknob, his back to his friends. After a moment’s pause, he said, “One of you will see her home, right?”
“We will,” Amay said. “But we shouldn’t have to.”
“I can’t.” Ishaan gritted the words out. “I can’t right now and I need you guys not to ride me on this.”
“You’re not them, Ish.”
Virat’s words were a lit match to stacked wood.
Ishaan turned on them, his fury erupting. “Are you sure about that Vir? How different am I? I blackmailed Mayukhi into this sham engagement. I forced her to pay for her father’s mistakes so I could twist her helplessness for our gains. My gains.”
“You didn’t rape her.”
“I slept with her though.” Bitterness pulsed through him. “Did you guys know that? No? The first time I took her out, I kissed her. She told me, quite rightly, that I hadn’t asked for her consent before I did that and that she’d have my balls if I did that again. Tell me again how I’m different!” He was shouting now but he couldn’t get himself to stop.
“Come on Ish.” Amay got to his feet. “You know it’s not comparable. Hell even Mayukhi knows that. Ask her.”
“Ask her? Ask her??” Ishaan rubbed his face with his hands. “Do you think Mayukhi Chatterjee would have ever sullied herself with a swamp rat like me if I hadn’t forced her hand? Do you think she would want me? Son of an alcoholic, gambler, scholarship student…the list is endless. Who would want a part of any of that? No one.”
“Ish, you’re not thinking clearly.” Virat put his hands out, palms up in a calming gesture.
“And you are, Mr. Avoidant?” It was a cruel jab but Ishaan had lost all sense of reason now.
The colour drained from Virat’s face but he didn’t back down. “Tread carefully,” he said softly. “Or I’ll forget you’re one of my closest friends.”
“Look, I don’t know what the big deal is,” Ishaan said now, backing away from them. “I wasn’t even going to marry her anyway. I was just going to use her and dump her once we were done with this whole revenge thing. So, honestly, is it such a big deal if I don’t drop her home tonight? One of you can pick up the slack, can’t you? It’s not like I’m the only one benefiting from this whole bring the DD’s down thing…we all are. So drive her the fuck home or put her in a cab. I don’t care.”
He saw Amay’s expression change and Virat’s mouth tighten and he knew. He knew a second too late, the second after the words left him that she was standing behind him. So, she’d heard the last bit, had she? Wonderful. He hung his head in defeat for a second before straightening his shoulders, and turning to face her.
She met his gaze, expressionless and cold. The Kraken he’d known, the girl he’d grown up hating, the Yukhi he’d fallen in love, they were all gone…buried under the weight of his words.
Her gaze moved from him to his friends at his back. “Naveen is stable and should be out of hospital in a day or two at the most. Sri is heading home for the night since attenders are not allowed in the ICU. She’ll be back in the morning. As far as any additional information, there is none other than the fact that they are extremely grateful for what Ishaan did for Naveen back there. I guess if you wanted an in, saving one of their lives was it. You’re in, Adajania.”
She took a deep breath and stepped back, her back going ramrod straight. “As for me getting home, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m perfectly capable of seeing myself home. I don’t need any of you doing me any favours.”
She turned away from them, about to leave. Ishaan felt his hand reach for her but he curled his fingers into a fist and forced it back to his side. It was better this way. The more she hated him, the happier he’d be. He deserved to be hated.
Her hand hesitated against the doorjamb for a moment and then she whirled around, striding over to stand before him.
“You were going to use me and dump me?”
Ishaan shut his eyes, unable to meet her scathing gaze.
“Look at me, you fucking coward.”
He looked at her, this woman he’d hated for years, the same one he’d fallen madly in love with and now couldn’t imagine a life without. But he was going to have to imagine that life…Because there was no happy ever after in his future. Not now. Not after what he’d done.
The thing with selling your soul to the Devil was that you never knew when the payment came due.
She held his gaze, her own blazing with fury. “When I was a child, I thought you were a loser with an attitude problem. Now, I know you’re nothing but scum. You want to judge the Dusty Devils for what they’re doing, Adajania? At least they don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Take a good, hard look at yourself and see if you can live with what you see.”
She looked over his shoulder and said, “I’ll finish this out for Dhrithi’s sake. But after that, I hope to never see any of you again.”
She spun on her heel, striding out of the cabin, the door slamming shut behind her, practically vibrating on its hinges with the force of her motion.
And then, she was gone. And Ishaan was alone. As he should be.
“I see you, Ishaan Adajania. I don’t think I’ll ever stop seeing you.”
Her whispered promise still echoed in his ears. Well, that hadn’t lasted long, had it?