5. Lara
Chapter 5
Lara
I wake to a meowing kitten kneading my stomach. The first thing I see is a pair of green eyes, but they’re not the ones I was just dreaming about. Instead of a dark-haired man with an intense stare that makes my insides flutter, there’s a furry little kitten with the cutest face I’ve ever seen.
“Hey, you,” I whisper, cupping his small body and bringing him up to my face. His tiny claws are like razors, but I’m used to marks on my body and don’t pay it any mind. “Are you hungry?”
I take his cute meows as a yes and hug him against me while I get up. Thankfully, my mom fell in love with Pip just as quickly as I had and didn’t make a fuss about me keeping him. All the supplies Luka had bought had been a little harder to explain, but I’d told her I’d caught a massive sale and that my tips had been better than usual this weekend, so I’d had extra cash to cover it. I didn’t mention the vet visit.
Sunlight streams into my room, because even though my mom did decide to foil all the windows last night, I’d torn them off my bedroom window. I will not live like that again. It’s bad enough that she’s done the living room, and as soon as I walk down the hall, my mood immediately sours when I see how dark it is. When I look up and see my mom making coffee, I gesture towards the window.
“Can we please take that off?”
“When it’s safe.” She pours me a mug and smiles at Pip, giving him a pet when I’m close enough. “I’ll get his formula.”
I take the mug and set Pip down so he can run off to the litter box while my mom mixes the formula with some warm water. When he comes running back out, she puts the saucer on the floor for him, and he goes right to it. He laps it up like he’s starving, and when it’s empty, I give him a little bit of kitten food to go with it.
“He’s so cute.” My mom bends down to get a better look at him. “I’m glad you brought him home. It’ll be good for us to have a pet.”
“Yeah,” I agree and then look back at the foiled windows. “The sunlight would be good for him too.”
Her smile falters, but she manages to keep it. “Soon,” she tells me, but I have my doubts. She’d once told me “Soon” every day for an entire year.
She changes the subject by saying, “Guess who finally got around to updating the locks around here?”
“Huh?”
Nodding towards the front door, she says, “Someone came this morning and said the owner of the building was updating the locks. About damn time, too, because those old ones were useless.”
I remember what Luka said last night and bite back the smile that wants to fill my entire face. I’m not used to anyone caring about me like that, and I’m certainly not used to gorgeous men getting me all hot and bothered in the hallway. God, he’d laugh his ass off if he knew that was my first kiss. I’m sure he has women falling all over him, but with my rules, I’ve never allowed anyone close enough. I couldn’t resist him, though. I’d wanted that kiss. Hell, I’d wanted so much more, and that thought scares the hell out of me.
What would I have done if he’d wanted to go further? What if we’d been somewhere private and he’d tried to take my shirt off? The thought of his gorgeous hands touching my scars makes me feel like I’m going to be sick. He’d be disgusted and repulsed and I’d be left mortified and alone.
I know I need to put a stop to this, but instead of doing just that, I look over at our foiled windows and tell myself that everyone is allowed a little bit of sunshine in their lives. One date, just one date with Luka Melnikov, and then I’ll put a stop to it.
Pleased with my plan, I grab some more coffee, and while Pip plays with his toys and investigates his new home, I toast a bagel and slather it in cream cheese. Stuffing a big bite in my mouth, I walk to my room, wanting to see if there are any responses from the message I’d put up yesterday about my dad.
I grab my laptop and my phone, surprised when I see that Luka texted me last night.
The stairwell is safe. See you at seven.
What the hell does that mean?
My fingers itch to text him, but I don’t because I have no clue how to handle situations like this. He’s probably busy, and I don’t want to be the annoying girl who keeps blowing up his phone. Shoving my own phone aside, I focus on my laptop, but quickly grow frustrated when I see that no one has responded to my message in the forum.
I slump back on my bed, letting my legs dangle over the edge, kicking my feet absentmindedly until I feel a little bundle grab onto me. I hiss at the pain, but when I look down and see Pip’s little face looking up at me, it’s impossible to stay mad.
“Okay, little guy, you want to play?”
I carefully remove his claws from my socks and then grab one of his toys. Hanging onto the stick, I dangle the ball of feathers in front of him, laughing when he immediately attacks it. I can’t resist taking a bunch of photos and videos.
When he’s worn himself out, I throw on some clothes and then grab the shopping list on the fridge. I still have plenty of time to run some errands and then get back here to shower and get ready. I drop a very sleepy Pip into my mom’s lap where she’s resting on the couch.
“I’m going to grab some groceries. I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay, be careful,” she warns.
“I will. I promise.”
Pip is already falling asleep while she pets him before I’ve even left the apartment. I think having a cat will be good for her. It won’t make me feel so guilty when I have to leave her alone.
I grab the new keys that are sitting on the counter and lock up the apartment behind me. The deadbolt that’s been installed looks like there’s no way in hell anyone could pick it, and I can’t imagine what Luka paid to have this done. I’m guessing his family doesn’t have to worry about the cost of things. I don’t think he’d even looked at the total last night before handing his card over at the pet store.
Must be nice.
Instead of taking the elevator, I make my way for the stairwell. Luka had said it was safe, and as I walk down the next three floors, I don’t see any noticeable difference. It isn’t until I’m on the last level and almost to the parking garage that I see the giant Grim Reaper that’s been spray painted onto the walls.
What the fuck?
I recognize the symbol. It’s not exactly like Luka’s tattoo, but it’s close enough for me to know they both represent the same thing—the Melnikov Bratva.
Unable to resist, I send a text.
Did you tag my building?
Within seconds, a response comes in.
Morning, kisa. Sleep well?
I smile, even though I try not to.
You didn’t answer my question, but yes I did.
I’m glad to hear it. How’s Pip doing? You haven’t sent me any more photos. I’m a little disappointed. Better send me one quick or I’ll be sad all day.
He still hasn’t answered my question, but I’m too busy smiling to care. I send him a few of the photos I took of Pip playing and one of the shorter videos where he’s attacking the feather ball and trying like hell to look like a fierce tiger.
Well that might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. There aren’t any photos of you, though, Lara.
No, there are not. You’ll see me at seven.
Too long to wait.
God, this guy makes my heart race. I remind myself that I’m going to be ending this soon, and that I can’t let myself get attached. This can’t go anywhere, but even knowing that, I still find myself typing a reply.
I look terrible. I’m not wearing any makeup, and my hair looks more like a rat’s nest than a ponytail.
Perfect! Send it my way.
As humiliating as this might be, it’ll make parting ways easier. All he’ll have to do is look back at this photo and then at all the model-like women who probably surround him on a nightly basis and realize it’s for the best. We’re two different people from two different worlds. We were never meant to collide, and soon he’ll float out of my orbit, and there won’t be anything left but graffiti in my stairwell and an adorable cat and the memories from the night we rescued him .
Holding up my phone, I stand next to the Grim Reaper and snap a quick selfie. I don’t know how to use any of the neat filters, so it’s just me looking a bit too pale and my hair looking a bit too wild. I sigh and send it off before I can do the smart thing and delete it.
Too nervous to stand still, I speed walk my ass out of the parking garage and onto the sidewalk. Even with the noise of honking horns and the general bustle of the city, I still manage to hear the ding of an incoming message. My ears were straining for it, and I’m equal parts terrified and curious to read what he’s written me.
Hustling to the same corner that I’ll be meeting him at later, I slip my phone out of my pocket and stare at the message that’s waiting for me.
You’re so beautiful, Lara Swan.
How am I supposed to break this off when he’s so damn sweet? I read his text over and over again, smiling to myself while people walk around me to cross the street when the light turns green. I don’t know what to say to something that sweet, so I settle on humor. Deflection—my second go-to strategy in life, right behind invisibility.
Are you a day drinker, Luka?
No, I rarely drink. I don’t like the loss of control. Drunk, sober, it wouldn’t matter. You’re fucking breathtaking, and I can’t wait to see you tonight.
I can’t wait to see you, Luka.
I shove my phone in my pocket, because the blooming spark in my chest needs to be snuffed out. I can’t allow this to grow. It’s just going to hurt me all the more when I have to let him go. I’ll have two days with him, two days with the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and that has to be enough. I’ll make it be enough because there’s no future for us, and that unwavering truth hurts way more than it should .
After I’ve done the grocery shopping, I spend the rest of the afternoon with Pip, and then I put together a casserole for my mom. While that’s cooking, I gently break the news that I’ve been called in to work an extra shift at Ria’s. I don’t feel good lying to my mom, but there’s no other way. She’s made it impossible for me to talk to her rationally, so I do what I need to do.
Pushing aside the guilt, I start my shower and work on getting myself ready for what will probably end up being my one and only date in life. The scars on my arms look especially gruesome under the bathroom’s fluorescent lights, and the thought of Luka ever seeing them almost has me reaching for my phone to text him an excuse about why I can’t go out tonight or any other night.
This is a very bad idea. The warning becomes a mantra in my head that plays on a loop and doesn’t give me any peace—not when I’m shaving my legs, not when I’m styling my hair and doing my makeup, and certainly not when I’m putting on yet another long-sleeved shirt. I have to make it look like I’m going to work, but I can’t bring myself to wear the exact same outfit I wore last night, so I compromise. I end up with another black skirt, but I choose a white shirt instead of my usual black one. I do opt for a sexy lace bra and matching panties and ditch the spandex shorts that I always wear under my skirts, and then force myself to not question why I’m going through the trouble when I’m fairly certain he’s not going to see any of it.
“Yeah, that really spruces things up,” I mutter to my reflection. I despise my legs, but I can’t get away with jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. On top of everything else, I don’t want to be sweating my ass off. Talk about sexy overload. It’s not until it’s almost time for me to go that I remember the motorcycle.
I send a quick text.
Are you on the bike again?
His response is immediate.
No, not tonight. Are you wearing a skirt?
Yes.
Good.
I don’t know how he always manages to pull a smile from me, but he does it so damn effortlessly. Wiping the huge grin from my face, because no one would be smiling like this on their way out to a waitressing shift, I school my features into something more appropriate before leaving my room.
“I hate that you have to cover a shift tonight,” my mom says from the couch. She’s on her laptop, and I hope it’s because she’s been trying to find some freelance work and not because she’s going down the rabbit hole with some new conspiracy theory. Apparently there are groups devoted to outing secret societies and underground syndicates. You read enough of those ramblings and it’s easy to start believing that nothing is as it seems and everyone you encounter is out to get you. It doesn’t put her in a good mental state to surround herself with people who fuel her delusions instead of steering her towards reality.
Without trying to make it obvious, I give her a hug and read her screen. I let out the breath I’ve been holding when I see it’s an application for a receptionist job that she could do from home.
“That looks like it might be good,” I tell her.
She gives me one of her sad smiles. “Maybe, but I really doubt they’re going to want me. I don’t have an impressive resume, and it’s not like my old boss is going to give me a good recommendation.”
“Well, you never know,” I tell her, but that’s not true. Sometimes you do know, and that’s why I’ll be working at Dominic’s club until the day they fire me for being too old.
Trying to not get too depressed about our life situation, I give her a hug and then pet Pip. He’s on the couch next to her, pawing at one of his toy balls.
“I’m not sure what time I’ll be back. I may need to stay and help clean up again. ”
“Okay, honey. Be careful, and make sure you take a different route home. You don’t want to be predictable.”
“I know, Mom. I remember.”
Running my fingers through Pip’s soft fur once more, I smile down at him and then grab my purse before leaving and locking the door behind me. When I’m walking out of the parking garage, it hits me that I should’ve asked what he’d be driving, but as soon as my eyes land on the silver Porsche parked on the corner, I know it has to be him. No one else around here is going to be driving a car like that.
I weave my way around a group of girls who look like they’re ready for a night of partying, and he must be looking for me, because as soon as I step ahead of them, he opens the door and gets out.
“Holy shit,” I hear one of the girls behind me whisper, and she’s absolutely right, because holy shit .
Luka is the definition of sexy. He’s tall and well built, but his body doesn’t scream steroids when you look at him. He’s muscular in a way that screams intense workouts but not like he lives, eats, and breathes the gym. He’s cut and lean and perfect. My eyes run over the long legs encased in dark jeans, the trim waist that I was lucky enough to touch the other night, the tattooed forearms, cut biceps, and finally the beautiful face. His full mouth is spread in a genuine smile, and there’s no way in hell I can’t return it. He’s wearing a red T-shirt tonight, and fuck does it look good against his tanned skin, dark hair, and green eyes.
“Jesus,” another girl whispers behind me. “Is he smiling at me?”
I hear a few giggles, but when Luka closes the distance, it’s my face he cups as he smiles down at me.
“I missed you, kisa ,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that makes me forget about everything except him. It’s not quite as deep as the one he gave me in the hall, but it’s damn close. His tongue brushes along mine in a teasing swipe, and when I wrap my hands around his wrists, he runs his thumb along my cheek and lets out a soft groan.
Pulling back, he rests his forehead against mine and gives a soft laugh. “I probably shouldn’t be allowed to touch you in public. ”
“I think we’re making the girls behind me very jealous,” I tell him.
“What girls?”
Right here in this moment, I think I fall in love with Luka Melnikov. He’s not teasing me; he just genuinely has no idea what the hell I’m talking about.
“The group of women right behind me who are dressed in very little and clearly looking for a good time, the ones who have been eyeballing you since you stepped out of your insanely sexy car.”
“I didn’t notice them.”
“You can’t be this perfect,” I whisper, staring into his green eyes. “No one is this damn perfect.”
“You’re the perfect one, kisa . I’m far from it.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to argue, just takes my hand in his and leads me to the passenger side so he can open the door for me. This is the closest I’ve ever been to a Porsche, and when I sink into the buttery soft, leather seat, I let out a purr of pleasure that I’m thankful he doesn’t hear because he’s already walking around to get in the other side.
“So where are you taking me?” I ask him once he’s shut his door and the city noises fade while my heart seems to grow louder with every chaotic beat.
The sexy grin on his face makes it hard to breathe. “Before I tell you what I have planned, do you have any special requests?”
I speak without thinking. “I don’t want you to take me anywhere that you’ve taken other girls to.” I watch his smile drop while his brows furrow. “Shit, I’m sorry,” I quickly say. “I don’t know why I said that.”
That’s not exactly true. I do know why I said it, I just can’t believe I actually said it out loud. If this is my one and only date with Luka, then I want it to be all mine. I want a night of memories that’s just ours. I don’t want other dates, other women, entering his mind when he’s with me. I don’t want anything we do reminding him of someone else.
I just don’t want to fall short tonight.
His thumb grazing along my own furrowed brow pulls me from my thoughts and brings me back to the present.
“There’s a lot going on in there, kisa . Want to tell me about it? ”
“Not really.”
He gives a soft laugh and leans closer so he can kiss my forehead, and then he surprises the everliving fuck out of me by saying, “Your request is an easy one, sweetheart. This is the first time I’ve ever taken anyone out on a date.”
I laugh because no way is he serious right now. I wait for him to join in, but he just looks at me with that same easy grin and sexy-as-hell arched brow.
“There’s no way that’s true.”
“Why not?”
I wave my hand at him. “That’s why. All of this right here is why there’s no way in hell that’s true.”
Once I’ve said it, it dawns on me that maybe he just means he never took the women out, maybe they just hooked up and he doesn’t consider that a real date.
“Oh, no you don’t,” he says, putting his face right in front of mine so I have no choice but to look at him. “Stop thinking whatever the hell it is that you’re thinking, because it’s not true.”
“How do you know that?”
“If it has anything to do with me and other women, then it’s not true, kisa . You’ll just have to take my word on that.”
I’m too stunned to speak, so I just watch as he grabs my seatbelt and buckles me in, making sure it’s secure just like he had with the motorcycle helmet. Only when he’s satisfied I’m as secure as I can be does he pull back and settle into his own seat. With the push of a button, the engine purrs to life, and then he’s shifting and easing us into the busy traffic.
“Do you like fancy restaurants?”
My stomach knots at his words. “I’m okay with whatever you want to do.” When I start to fidget with the bottom of my skirt, he reaches a hand over to rest on top of mine.
“That’s not what I asked, kisa . Just be honest with me. Do you like fancy restaurants? Is that where you’d like me to take you? ”
The idea of walking into a ridiculously overpriced restaurant while everyone stares at me makes me feel like I might vomit.
“No,” I whisper. “I’ve never been to one, and I really don’t want to.”
“Thank fuck,” he says with a soft laugh. “I’d put up with it for you, but I was really hoping you’d say no.”
He shifts into another gear before bringing his hand back to my thigh. “Do you trust me, Lara?”
I turn my head to look at him, studying his shadowed profile, and decide to keep going with the honesty thing.
“Yes. Maybe I shouldn’t because I just met you, but I do.”
He looks over, giving me a quick smile before putting his focus back on the road. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. I took a gamble and put in a food order before I picked you up.”
Grinning, I look back out the window, trying to figure out where he’s taking me. The most popular strip club in the city is not at all what I had in mind, but when he pulls into the parking lot at Pink, I’m so stunned, I’m speechless. I just stare at the long line of men outside the club, trying to figure out how in the hell Luka thought I’d like this.
“Interesting choice,” I finally say, breaking the silence.
He hears my less-than-thrilled tone and squeezes my thigh again. “You said you’d trust me,” he reminds me.
I don’t say anything while he drives us around to the back of the building, pulling to a stop right in front of the back exit. He stays in the car, grabbing his phone and sending a quick text. Less than a minute later, a young man is running out with two big bags of food. Luka slides his window down. They have a conversation in Russian while Luka takes the bags. The guy doesn’t even glance in my direction. It’s like I’m completely invisible.
“What the hell?” I say when he runs off to go back inside. “He wouldn’t even look at me.”
I take the bags and set them carefully between my feet and then look over at Luka again. I can tell he’s trying to decide what to say.
“The truth, remember?”
He grins. “Already throwing my words back at me? ”
“It’s only fair.”
“True enough,” he agrees. “He didn’t look at you because that would’ve been seen as disrespectful.”
“How would it have been disrespectful? I don’t understand.”
It’s still light enough for me to see the intensity in his green eyes when he says, “Because you’re mine, and he doesn’t get to look at what’s mine.” When it’s obvious I’m too surprised to speak, he looks at the building in front of us. “My family owns this club. They own a few clubs in the city.”
He turns back to me, and when I’m still quiet, he says, “You want honesty between us?”
I give a soft nod.
“You know who my family is, don’t you?”
“I pieced it together when I saw you at La Dolce Vita. I didn’t know who you were when you helped me up after I’d fallen.”
He doesn’t say anything, just nods and shifts into reverse, turning us around so we can get back onto the street.
“Would you mind if we just enjoyed a nice supper together before we get into all the heavy shit?”
His hand is still gripping the gear shift, so I reach over and rest mine lightly on top of his. “Sounds good. I don’t know what you ordered, but it smells amazing.”
He smiles over at me and lifts his thumb, wrapping it around mine. “My Uncle Vitaly, the guy you saw me with at Dominic’s, he’s the one who made Pink into the success that it is, and one of the things he did was employ a chef, a really damn good one. I promise you his food is better than anything you’ll find in one of those uptight, ritzy restaurants.”
I believe him. The scents filling the car are making my mouth water.
“So do you go to Pink a lot?” I don’t want to ask the question, but I can’t help it.
He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the back of it. “ No, kisa . I have no desire to hang out in strip clubs, and none of my uncles go there either. They’re all happily married and would rather cut off their own dicks than cheat on the women they love.”
It’s not at all what I’m expecting him to say, and I wish I could introduce him to my mom. She’s so damn wrong about his family, and I wish she could see that.
When Luka pulls into another underground parking garage, I look over at him and ask, “Where are we?”
“It’s just a private place where we can eat supper.”
He parks in a reserved spot near an elevator. “Is this where you live?”
“No.” Grabbing the bags from between my feet, he opens his door and steps out. “I’ll explain on the way up.”
I follow him to the elevator and watch as he pulls out a private keycard that unlocks the doors for us.
“Wow,” I whisper. “I had no idea that was even a thing.”
He pushes the button for the penthouse, and as we begin to rise, he starts to explain.
“One of my younger cousins is a genius with computers. Nikita is only fifteen, but I swear he could hack into anything at this point.” He smiles when he says it. “We all grew up together, and we’re all like brothers and sisters. I’m the oldest by a few months, and Maxim, Nikita’s older brother, is just a little bit younger than me. Valentin is the same age as us, and when we all three turned eighteen, we decided we needed a place where we could come and hang out and just get away from it all, so Max asked Niki to hook us up with a place.”
As if on cue, the elevator stops and the doors open directly onto the most gorgeous apartment I’ve ever seen.
“He syphoned money and bought the place under a fake name.”
I look around at the spacious open floor plan and windows that overlook the city. Skyscrapers are lit up and so is the bridge in the distance. It’s impressive as hell, and I can’t help but compare it to the cramped apartment I share with my mom .
“So this is where you bring all the girls,” I tease.
He sets the food down on the counter and steps in front of me. Reaching a hand up, he gently runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my face while his fingers graze my cheek, setting my whole body on fire with that one touch.
“I’ve never brought anyone here but you.”
“How is that even possible, Luka?”
“Believe it or not, kisa , I don’t let people get close to me. My family is everything to me, and I’m very protective of them and of what we do.”
He’s so close we’re almost touching, and the heat in his gaze is enough to make me feel like I can’t breathe.
“Then why did you bring me here? I don’t understand.”
“I already told you.” His fingers drag along my jaw before ghosting along my neck in a featherlight touch that pebbles my skin in goosebumps and sends a warmth through my chest. “I like you, Lara Swan.”
Bringing his hand up, he drags his thumb along my lower lip and adds, “Probably more than I should.”
I’ve barely sucked in a breath before he lets me go. Walking around the island, he opens a cabinet and grabs a couple of plates and glasses before he divvies up the food. Once the bags are opened, the scent is enough to get my feet moving. Standing next to him, I watch as he puts one of the steaks on a plate next to the grilled veggies and loaded baked potato.
“Do guys really sit around eating steak and watching strippers?” The image has me laughing before I can stop it. “I mean, how stereotypical is that? A big hunk of meat in their mouths while they watch a pair of bouncing titties.” I clutch my stomach and laugh even harder, mortified when I accidentally snort.
Luka laughs and smiles down at me. “Well, that was kind of fucking adorable, kisa . And to answer your question, they must, because that club brings in a shit ton of money. I wouldn’t know personally, because I’ve never been there. It’s not really my thing. ”
“I thought gorgeous women were every man’s thing.”
He shoves the empty bags aside and turns to open the fridge. While he grabs a couple of cokes, he says, “Not every guy is the same. I’ve never seen the appeal of strip clubs. My family owns Pink. I could go there any damn time I want, yet I’ve never stepped foot inside the building because I don’t want to. It doesn’t interest me.”
“What does interest you?”
He cups the back of my head and kisses my forehead. “You do.”
And with that, he hands me the drinks while he grabs our plates and leads the way. Stepping through the French doors, I see the large rooftop terrace, and as beautiful as it is, it’s the table that catches my eye. Fairy lights hang delicately from the awning above us, and there’s a beautiful bouquet of red roses waiting for me.
“Did you do all this?” I whisper, leaning down to bury my face in the velvety petals, inhaling the sweet scent of them. No one’s ever bought me flowers before, and I’m seconds away from crying and ruining the makeup I worked so hard on.
“I did.” He sets our plates down and then pulls a chair out for me.
I look up at him, still stunned as I take the seat he offers. “I can’t believe you did all this.”
He smiles and spreads his arms out. “What about me doesn’t scream sappy romantic?”
Luka screams a lot of things, most of them the panty-wetting kind, but he doesn’t exactly scream I’m a big softie who loves to cuddle and buy you flowers.
“I’m a little insulted that you still look so stunned,” he tells me as he takes his own seat across from me. Sliding the beautiful vase to the side so we can see each other better, he nudges my own plate towards me. “You need to eat, kisa .”
No one would look at me and think I’m in dire need of calories, but Luka seems so sincere, like he’s genuinely concerned about me being hungry, and when I grab my fork, he gives me the most beautiful smile, and I fucking melt for him .
When I take my first bite of steak, my tastebuds come to life, and I moan around my fork. Luka’s eyes darken as they lock on my mouth, and I seriously start to rethink my one-date rule. One night could never be enough with this man.
I’m not so sure a lifetime would even be long enough.