15. Lara
Chapter 15
Lara
I don’t know how long I’ve been hanging, long enough for me to feel like my arms have been pulled loose from their sockets and to know that I’m very close to pissing all over myself. I’m unable to muster up enough dignity to give a fuck.
Radek hasn’t been back since his rape attempt was interrupted, and I can’t stop thinking about his inevitable return. I’m terrified, more scared than I ever thought possible, and knowing that things could end up getting a million times worse has my whole body shaking. My toes cramp from desperately trying to support as much of my weight as possible, and I can’t stop crying. I don’t know if my mom is still alive or if I’ll ever see her again, and when I try to think about Luka, it just makes it that much harder to breathe. How will he ever find me? My phone was thrown out, and there aren’t any security cameras at my building. How long will he search for me before he gives up? What if he never finds me?
Question after question races through my mind until my head is pounding and each passing minute has me falling deeper and deeper into a familiar darkness that I swore I’d never allow myself to be pulled into again. A hopelessness surrounds me, covering me until I’m not so sure I care about fighting it. I just want the darkness to take me under so I no longer have to feel any of this.
My head hangs, each breath sending an ache through my shoulders and back. They turned the lights off when they left, and I’m glad that I don’t have to spend the time staring at my naked body, at least I’m spared that indignity. I’m grateful for it, but I know they didn’t do it to be kind. The fuckers did it to try and scare me.
The room must be soundproofed, because I can’t hear shit except the sound of my own panicked breaths and the rapid beat of my own heart. When the sharp bang of the door being kicked in shatters the heavy silence of the room, it takes me a second to realize what’s going on. The light from the hall blinds me, and I start to scream when I hear footsteps coming closer.
“Lara, it’s me,” Luka yells, wrapping his arms around me while he shouts something in Russian. “Fuck, baby,” he groans, lifting me up and carefully removing my bound wrists from the hook. “I’m so sorry.”
He cups the back of my head, holding me tightly against him, telling me he loves me and how fucking sorry he is. When he tries to set me down, my legs give out, too weak to hold my weight. He catches me, not letting me fall.
“My arms,” I groan, feeling a blinding pain start to radiate through them when he frees my wrists from the restraints and the blood rushes back and the feeling returns.
He yells something in Russian again right before someone flips a switch and the overhead light comes on. I quickly try and cover myself, but my arms are useless.
“No! Luka, please, I’m naked,” I yell, already picturing his dad and uncles standing behind him, and for a moment the embarrassment I feel trumps everything else.
“No one can see you but me. Val and Max are standing guard in the hall.” He kisses the top of my head and holds me while I cry.
“Is my mom,” I start to say, but I can’t stop crying long enough to finish my question.
“We’re getting her too,” he promises, and my whole body sags in relief.
“Lara, look at me, kisa .”
He cups my face as I force my eyes to open and meet his. I’m so happy to see the familiar green that I start crying again.
“They hit you,” he says, and the hard edge to his tone isn’t one I’ve heard before. He didn’t even sound like this when we were questioning Lou.
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “It’s nothing that won’t heal in a few days.”
“What else did they do to you?” he asks, and even though his tone is razor sharp, his hands are gentle as they cup my face, holding me like I’m the most precious thing in the world to him. “Did anyone rape you?” He spits the words out like he can’t stand to have them in his mouth.
“No,” I quickly say, not wanting him to have to carry that burden for even a second. “He would have, but he was called away for something.”
“So he terrorized you, stripped you, touched you, and would have raped you,” he says like he’s making a mental list of wrongs that have been done to me. “Do you know his name?”
“Radek.”
Luka gives a tight nod, and when I start to cry again, he shoves his rage aside and lets out a pained groan at the sight of me, pulling me against him for a hug.
“I didn’t think you’d ever be able to find me,” I whisper against his neck. “They were going to sell me, Luka. That’s what my dad used to do to women.” I nearly choke on a sob, my words cut off as I fist his shirt and cry harder than I ever have in my life.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, gently rubbing my back and letting me cry as much as I need to. “I promise you will never be in this position again, but I need you to know something, Lara.” He cups my face, pulling me back so I can meet his eyes again. The intensity in his is impossible to miss, and it matches his tone when he says, “I will always find you. Even if they’d taken you out of the country, even if it took me my whole goddamn life, I would find you, kisa , and I wouldn’t rest until I did.”
I nod, unable to speak, but I believe him, and it means everything to me. When he’s sure I can stand on my own, he lets me go just long enough to pull his shirt off and slip it over my head. I’m so glad he wore a long-sleeved shirt today, and I relax a bit more when the sleeves cover the scars that he’s never shown any disgust for, the ones Radek made such a show of being appalled by.
He runs the back of his knuckles over my cheek, being careful to keep it whisper-soft. “We need to go back out there, but you’ll be close to me and my family the whole time.”
“Okay,” I whisper, not crazy about facing the men who took me, but also knowing I don’t want to stay in this fucking room a second longer.
Luka looks around, growling something in Russian when he sees my cut-up clothes. My jeans are still okay, so he helps me put them on and then holds my sneakers for me while I step into them. Feeling a little better now that I have the familiar armor of clothes wrapped around me, I take a breath and clutch his arm. I may be feeling brave enough to leave this room, but that doesn’t mean I’m doing it without a tight grip on the man next to me. Luka’s trained for shit like this. I’d be an idiot to let him out of my sight.
“I’m not leaving you alone for a second,” he reminds me, reading the fear that’s written all over my shaking body.
I squeeze his arm tighter and nod as he leads me out of the room. Max and Val are in the hall, standing with their backs turned towards us. When they hear us, Val asks something in Russian, and when Luka says in English, “It’s okay. You can turn around now,” both men turn to look at me.
“Thank fuck,” Max says, running his eyes over me in a quick sweep to make sure I’m not seriously injured.
“Good to have you back, Lara,” Val tells me, reaching out to pat the top of my head in an affectionate move that surprises me. I’ve just met Luka’s cousins, and they’re already treating me like I’m a part of their family .
“Thanks,” I tell them both, noticing the way they position themselves, one in front and one behind me, as we make our way down the hall and into the main room. I grip Luka tighter when I see the man with long hair from earlier. He’s standing next to an older man who looks anything but pleased as his eyes run over us. The rest of the men in the room I recognize as Luka’s dad and uncles. I even see Dominic and his cousins in the corner, and I can’t believe that they all came out here to help me. I’ve never had anyone fight for me like this, and if I’m not careful I’m going to start crying again. For the first time in my life, I feel like part of a family.
“I told you she was fine,” the older man says, waving the glass he’s holding in my direction. “Perfectly fine and safe as promised.”
“She’s not fine, though,” Luka says. His voice cuts through the room, and I feel the tension rise as the men around me wait for whatever is about to happen. “Radek hit her. He tormented her, hung her from a fucking hook in the ceiling, and tried to rape her, not to mention scaring the fuck out of her when they kidnapped her.”
“So not perfectly fine as promised,” Roman says, coming to stand closer to us. He briefly meets my eyes, and I know he’s willing me to hold it together for just a bit longer. When I give a soft nod, he gives me a ghost of a smile before turning back to the man.
“Radek is mine,” Luka says. “It’s my right to kill him.”
The older man smiles and looks to the others for help, but no one is helping this bastard. “Come on, so he got a little overzealous. He’s one of my best men, and he didn’t rape her. You said so yourself.”
“Only because it was interrupted,” Luka says. “He touched my girl, and he’s going to fucking die for it.”
“The choice is yours,” Lev says. “Give Radek to my nephew, or we go to war.”
My fingers dig into Luka’s forearm, wanting to argue, to say that what Radek did to me isn’t worth putting his entire family at risk, but when I see the look in his eyes, I know there’s no point. The side of Luka that I never thought I’d see is now the one that’s staring down at me. I’ve had a hard time believing that he’s capable of violence, but I’ve been wrong. The man I fell in love with is the same one who’s now standing next to me, looking like he’s ready to burn the whole goddamn world down. Two different sides of the same man, and I love them both. The devil and the angel, they’re both a part of him, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. The angel is the side of him that loves me so goddamn sweetly, and the devil is the side that’s going to get revenge for the pain that Radek’s caused me.
“Fine,” the older man says, pulling my attention from Luka’s piercing green eyes. “But I want your word that this goes no further.”
“I’ll remind you, Vladimir, that you came into our territory uninvited and started this shit,” Roman says.
“Doesn’t seem like you’re in much of a position to be demanding anything,” Danil adds.
Vitaly gives a soft laugh. “I don’t know about everyone else, but I could use an apology.” He holds out his hands, wiggling his fingers like he’s beckoning forth the words from Vladimir’s pursed lips. “Don’t be shy,” he says, “just let it come from the heart. I think we’d all prefer sincere and unpolished instead of rehearsed and fake.” He looks over at his brothers and smiles even bigger. “Right?”
“Definitely,” Lev agrees. “Nothing worse than a fake apology.”
“Better make us believe it,” Luka says, a dangerous smile playing at his lips, “and when you’re done, you can call Radek out.” He looks down at all the cream carpet we’re standing on. “I hope you have a good housekeeper. Blood stains are an absolute bitch to get out.”
Vladimir looks like he’s about to bust a blood vessel. His face is red, veins protruding along his neck and temple. I’ve never seen anyone look so angry and helpless at the same time. He knows it’s suicide to go against the Melnikov family, but he also really doesn’t want to swallow his pride and apologize.
He swallows the last of his drink right along with that last bit of stubborn pride, slamming the glass down so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t crack. He looks between the men in front of him, and it takes several seconds before he can force the words out from his clenched jaw .
“I shouldn’t have come into your territory without your permission.”
We all stare at him, waiting for more, but when it’s obvious that the lackluster apology is all they’re getting, Vitaly laughs and shakes his head.
“That’s not an apology. You’re just stating a fact.” Vitaly looks at his family. “Do any of you feel better? Because I don’t. I’m still deeply offended.” He turns back to a very pissed-off Vladimir. “Try harder.”
“Careful,” Vladimir warns.
“Or what?” Lev asks. “You’re operating out of Prague now, right?”
“Yes,” Vladimir tells him.
Lev nods. “So if we went to Prague and kidnapped someone under your protection, you’d be okay with that?”
The look on Vladimir’s face says it all.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Lev crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for a better apology.
“I’m sorry I came into your territory without permission. It was disrespectful, and it won’t happen again,” Vladimir says, almost sounding like he means it.
“Much better,” Roman says.
“That warmed my heart,” Vitaly says, putting the palm of one hand on his chest. “Seriously, I almost got chills.”
“Radek,” Luka says, reminding him that we’re not even close to being done here, “and we need her mom brought out.”
Vladimir nods at his bodyguard, and the man walks out without a word, returning less than a minute later with the man who will most likely star in all my nightmares for the foreseeable future. Luka feels me stiffen beside him and leans in closer.
Cupping the back of my head, he leans down and presses his mouth close to my ear. “I need you to stay in the room with my family for this so I know you’re safe, kisa. ”
“Okay,” I whisper. “Be careful, Luka. Please don’t put yourself in danger because of me.”
He pulls back and smiles. “I can’t think of a better reason than you, kisa. ” Leaning closer, he gives me a kiss that’s way too short and then gently nudges me closer to his cousins. “Don’t watch,” he says before saying something to Max and Val in Russian. The two men crowd in, keeping me between them.
“Don’t worry,” Max tells me. “This won’t take long.”
I watch Luka make his way to the center of the room. Without his shirt, his muscles and tattoos are on full display, making him look even more dangerous than usual. Radek looks furious. He’s yelling something in Russian at Vladimir, but his boss just shakes his head. I don’t need a translator to know that Radek’s demanding a stop to this thing, and his boss just told him a big fat no.
Knowing there’s no escape, he turns to face Luka. “You sure that bitch is worth this?”
“He’s not very bright, is he?” Val mutters beside me.
“You’re already going to die a painful death,” Luka tells him, “there’s no reason for you to keep adding onto it, but feel free to keep talking shit about my girl if you want. It’s not going to bother me to take your tongue before I kill you.”
My stomach lurches at his words, but I’m assuming this is the talking smack phase of the fight and that he’s not being serious. Radek laughs as they start to circle one another, neither one giving the other their back.
“You can try,” Radek tells him, “but I’m guessing it’s going to be your ass on the floor bleeding out in front of your girlfriend in a few minutes.”
Luka keeps all his focus on Radek, refusing to get distracted by the man’s taunts, and when Radek throws his first punch, Luka easily blocks it and takes a step to the right.
“I’m going to finish you,” Radek growls, “and then I’m going to fuck your girl.” He takes a second to look over at me and wink. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart? We’re going to finish what we started, and this time nothing is going to stop me.”
“He’s going to regret saying that,” Max mutters right as Luka narrows his eyes and comes in hard. His punches are so damn fast, I can barely keep up with them, and Radek’s not doing much better. He manages to block a few, but most of them find their mark, and soon his face is bloody and swelling before my eyes. A yelp escapes me, and I grab Max’s arm when Radek lands a blow to Luka’s jaw. I want to run over and hit the fucker myself for daring to mark that gorgeous face. Luka shakes it off easily and comes back with a vengeance.
I grimace when I hear the loud crack of Radek’s nose breaking right before he falls to his knees. Just when I think my boyfriend can’t look any more badass, he does some sort of martial arts kick that sends Radek falling backwards. He’s sprawled out on the cream carpet that’s now, as promised, dotted with blood.
“Damn,” I whisper.
Val leans closer to me. “I think you’re supposed to be covering your eyes.”
“She can watch for a little bit,” Max says with a friendly wink. “It’ll be our little secret.”
“Okay,” Val agrees, but then he points a finger at me. “You gotta close ‘em when he gets his knife out, though. Luka will never forgive us if you have nightmares because of this.”
“Deal,” I tell him, quickly turning my gaze back to Luka, who’s now circling around a sprawled-out Radek. He watches him, stopping every once in a while to deliver a well-placed kick, smiling every time he pulls a scream from the asshole who hurt me. It’s like he’s playing with his prey before he kills it. It reminds me of the time I caught Pip with a moth. He’d swiped it with his paw, injuring the unfortunate insect just enough to ensure he couldn’t fly off, and then he’d crouched down and watched, flicking his tail every few seconds in eager anticipation. Luka’s green eyes are lit up with that same feral prey drive, and when he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a black knife, I know things are about to get gross. With the push of a button, a deadly-looking blade springs out and Val nudges me with his elbow, reminding me of our agreement.
I keep my eyes on Luka, unable to look away as he lowers himself down so he’s hovering over Radek while his knees keep the man’s arms pinned to the carpet. I don’t close my eyes until I see Luka reaching into Radek’s mouth, making good on his promise.
“Lara,” Val warns, but my eyes are already closed. I keep a tight grip on Max’s arm, and when I hear a wet, thick scream, I release his arm so I can cover my ears, hoping like hell I can go through the rest of my life without ever hearing that sound again.
“Just breathe.” Max’s voice is close to my ear as he gently squeezes my shoulder. “Here,” he says, moving one of my hands so he can slip an earbud into my ear before doing the same to the other. I keep my eyes squeezed tightly shut as classical music fills my ears. The noise cancelling earbuds cover the sounds of Radek’s screams, saving me from having to hear them.
I squeeze the hand that’s still resting on my shoulder, silently thanking him for sparing me from having to listen to it. I’m not sure what the song is that I’m listening to, but it’s beautiful. The piano plays a prominent part, and I wonder if it’s a piece that he likes to play. I focus on the notes, the haunting melody, refusing to think about anything else, until Max pulls out one of the earbuds and says, “It’s over now.”
I open my eyes slowly, not sure what I’m going to see, but instead of a gruesome murder scene, I see a wall of dark shirts and broad shoulders. It takes me a second to realize that his dad and uncles have formed a line in front of me, blocking my view so that I won’t accidentally see anything I shouldn’t. Dominic and his cousins have even joined in, and when his dad looks over his shoulder at me, there’s nothing but concern on his face. I was worried that maybe they’d be disappointed and think that Luka chose a weak partner, but no one is looking at me like that. No one is expecting me to be okay at watching such violence, and thank fuck for that, because there was no way I could’ve played that off as if it wasn’t affecting me. I know my limits, and watching a man get his tongue cut out is a hard no for me.
“Are you okay?” Roman asks.
“Yes, I’m fine. Thanks for the wall.” I smile up at him and hand Max his earbuds. “And thanks for the music. ”
He grins down at me. “Anytime.”
I shake my head. “This is my last murder. Mia can take my spot.”
Lev raises his pierced brow and looks back at me. “I know you’re joking, but she’d be all over this if given the chance.” He smiles and adds, “That’s why she’s not getting an invite.”
His brothers laugh and then break the line so Luka can step through. I gasp at the sight of him. His bare chest and arms are covered in blood, and he looks every bit like a man who’s just killed someone. The hard glint in his eyes softens when he sees me, though, and as bloody as he is, I can’t help but run and wrap my arms around him, needing to feel him against me and know that he’s safe.
“I’m sorry you had to be here for that,” he murmurs against my ear, holding me tightly against him.
“It’s okay. Max gave me earbuds, and they all made sure I couldn’t see anything.” I run my hands through his hair, not caring in the slightest that he’s covered in sweat and blood and now I am too. “Thank you, Luka.”
He furrows his dark brows, not understanding why I would be thanking him for anything right now. He blames himself for my kidnapping, but he’s wrong. It’s my dad’s fault I was taken, and Luka is the one who saved me.
“Thank you for killing him, for finding me and my mom, and for getting me the hell out of here.”
He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. “I haven’t done that last one yet.”
“No,” I smile back at him, “but you will.”
“So, are we good now?” Vladimir asks.
Luka is hugging me in a way that ensures I can’t see whatever is left of Radek, but Vladimir’s tone makes it clear he’d like this to be over and done with.
“Unless you forget your manners and fuck up again,” Lev tells him.
“If it happens again, we won’t be so quick to forgive,” Roman says.
“I won’t be coming back,” Vladimir assures them. “Whatever money I could get for her isn’t worth the war it would start. ”
I feel Luka tense at the man’s words, looking every bit like he wants to go and kill again, but I pull him closer and kiss his shoulder. He relaxes at the feel of my lips on his skin, and I’ve never felt so damn powerful. I know if I asked him to, he’d kill Vladimir for his part in this, but I also know it would start a war, and that’s not something I can live with. My ego can take the hit. It’s always been on the short side anyway.
I’m about to tell Luka that Vladimir is nothing and to not give the asshole a second thought when I hear my mom scream my name. I jerk my head around at the sound of her terrified voice as she runs towards me. She pulls me from Luka and straight into a suffocating hug.
“Mom, I’m okay,” I try and tell her, but she’s too hysterical to hear me. She’s sobbing and shaking her head, too scared and traumatized to believe what I’m telling her. I look over her shoulder at Luka, giving him an I don’t know what to do look, and he immediately steps closer, trying to offer whatever comfort he can, but when he says her name, my mom loses it. She reaches out, grabbing the knife that’s clipped to the pocket of his jeans before I even realize what she’s doing. I hear the click of the blade springing free, and when I see her lunge for Luka, I don’t think, I just react, jumping between them right as Luka yells my name and my mom’s arm comes down, swiping the sharp blade across my upper arm.
As many times as I’ve cut myself, I’ve never gone this deep, and the pain of it has my knees buckling. Before I can collapse, Luka’s arms are around me, holding me against him as he turns us around, shielding me with his body as the others rush at my mom, but there’s no need. I saw the horrified look on her face when she’d realized what she’d done, the knife already hanging useless at her side and covered in my blood.
“Lara,” Luka yells again while ripping the sleeve of my shirt even more so he can see how bad the cut is. “Fuck, baby, why did you do that?”
“I didn’t want her to hurt you.”
The look in his eyes makes it clear that we’re going to be having a talk about this later, but right now he’s too busy trying to stop the flow of blood. I can feel it dripping down my arm, but I’m too afraid to look at the actual wound. If it looks as bad as it hurts, then I don’t want to see it.
“She’s going to need stitches,” Lev says, walking over to take a closer look.
“You can bring her to my house,” Dominic says. “Tony can do it.”
“Do I have to?” I ask, wanting nothing more than to just sleep for several days. “Can’t we just go home, Luka?”
He hears the exhaustion in my voice, and even though I know I need stitches, what I really want is a good dose of painkillers and to sleep for three days.
“I’m sorry, kisa, but the stitches can’t wait,” Luka says as he tears a strip of cloth from the bottom of my shirt and wraps it around my arm, tightening it enough to put pressure on the cut and stop the bleeding.
“I can do it, if you want,” Matvey says. “We can go to Vitaly’s. We need to have a talk about all this anyway, and that’s probably the best place to do it.”
I’m not sure why that would be the best place, but I nod my head anyway since Vitaly’s place is only minutes from ours, and I’d much rather have Matvey stitch me up than someone I don’t know.
Luka scoops me up into his arms. “Okay, we’ll meet you there.”
“What about my mom?” I ask, looking over at her. She’s on her knees, hands covering her face as she cries. I call out to her, trying to get her attention, and when she finally looks up at me, it’s with haunted, confused eyes. She’s desperately trying to make sense of everything, trying to unravel the web she’s painstakingly built to create a truth that never was. My dad was the monster, not the Melnikovs, and her mind is unable to do such a quick one-eighty.
“We’ll make sure she gets to Vitaly’s safely,” Roman tells me. He steps closer and surprises me by taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. “I won’t forget what you did, Lara.”
“She better damn well never do it again,” Luka growls, raising a brow at me and daring me to argue. When he sees that I’m more than happy to keep my ass far from danger, he relaxes just enough to soften the tension in his forehead, but I know he won’t truly relax until I’m stitched up and safely back in his apartment.
“Don’t worry,” Roman tells his son, clapping him on the back as he gives me a smile, “we’ll make sure she’s never in this position again. I can’t have my future daughter-in-law getting hurt.”
Even though my arm is really starting to scream at me and I’ve just experienced the most fucked-up few hours of my life, I can’t help but return his smile. I love Luka, and I love that I’m going to be a part of his family. They all dropped everything to come looking for me, and I won’t ever forget that. Now that I know who my dad really was, I’m glad I never got the chance to meet him, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never longed for a father figure, and I can already tell that Roman is going to make one hell of a father-in-law.
He gives my uninjured arm a soft pat and then looks at his son. “We need to go. Meet us at Vitaly’s and Matvey can get her stitched up.”
Luka nods and pulls me closer, kissing my forehead before leading me out of the room. Max and Val stay on either side of us as we leave Vladimir’s fucked-up cabin in the woods.
“What about the other men here?” I ask, gripping Luka tighter when I see the guards standing right outside.
“Our men have the cabin surrounded, kisa . Don’t worry. Vladimir’s men aren’t going to do shit,” Luka says, carrying me past the well-armed men with a look on his face that makes it clear he’d like nothing more than for one of these men to try something just so he can have the excuse to take them down. When I look over at Val and Max, I see the same expression on their faces. It’s obvious the Melnikovs don’t care for the Turgenevs, but unless Vladimir’s men step out of line, there’s little they can do. I pat Luka’s chest and kiss his neck because I know how much this is pissing him off right now.
“You got to kill one of them,” I remind him.
The corner of his mouth lifts up in a small smirk. “One isn’t enough.”
Before tonight, I would’ve argued that murder is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, but that was before Radek hung me from a goddamn hook and put his filthy hands on me. I’m beginning to rethink a lot of things since meeting Luka. The line between good and bad, and right and wrong, just got really fucking blurry.
Luka tosses his keys to Max, who then goes jogging down a gravel road. The adrenaline is fading fast, and in its place comes a mix of pain and bone-deep exhaustion. “Why is Max running?”
“He’s getting the car, baby.” Luka kisses me again, keeping his lips lightly pressed against my forehead. “You still okay?”
“I’m okay,” I whisper. “We need to get Pip. He’s still in the apartment.”
“I grabbed him when I realized you’d been taken. Sveta’s watching him for us.” He sighs, the sound of it making him seem far older than he is. “I was so fucking scared,” he admits. “I’m so sorry they got you.”
“This isn’t your fault,” I start to tell him, but he shakes his head, refusing to hear it.
“I should’ve put Arkady on you sooner. None of this would’ve happened if I’d taken care of you the way I should have. It’s a mistake I won’t be making again.”
The determination in his voice makes it abundantly clear that I will be watched over every second of every day for the rest of my life.
“The chances of this happening again are slim to none,” I try to reason, but he just shakes his head again as Max pulls the car up beside us. Val gets in the passenger side while Luka takes the backseat so he can keep me in his lap.
When we’re on our way down the gravel road, I try again. “It was really my dad that got me into this mess, and I doubt Vladimir is going to try anything again, so the threat is kind of gone now.”
He lets out a soft laugh. “Nice try, kisa , but it’s a done deal. You will never be left unprotected again.”
Val looks back at us. “You’ll never talk him out of it, Lara. He’s stubborn as hell.”
“I am,” Luka agrees. He positions me on his lap so he can keep a better eye on my arm. Lowering his voice, he asks, “How bad does it hurt?”
“I’m fine,” I quickly say, not wanting him to worry, but he scoffs at my answer, knowing I’m full of shit.
“Want to try that again, kisa ?”
I let out a small smile at his tone. “It hurts really, really bad.”
He sighs and kisses my forehead as he brushes his fingers along my cheek. “I’m sorry, baby. This cut should be on me, not you.”
“I’m glad it’s me,” I whisper. “You’re too beautiful for scars. I already have plenty of them. One more isn’t going to hurt.”
He’s quiet for several minutes while his fingers keep lightly stroking my cheek. His cousins keep up a conversation in Russian, giving us our privacy, and I close my eyes, resting against Luka’s chest. I’m almost asleep when he says, “I love your scars, kisa . Every time I see them I’m reminded of how strong you are, of how big of a heart you have.” His hand slides down to rest on my chest. “You feel things so strongly, and you try and take on more than you should. I’m only sorry that I wasn’t there to help you through it. You should never have had to get another scar, but when I look at this one, it’s just going to be another reminder of how sweet and brave you are. This was meant for me, and you took it. You jumped in front of me without a second thought.”
He takes a breath and brings his hand to my neck, softly stroking my skin. “I love you, Lara, and I would lay down my life for yours in a second, and the fact that you would do that for me means everything to me.” He gives my hair a soft tug. “But I swear to god if you ever put your life at risk for me again, I will spank your ass so goddamn hard that you won’t be able to sit down for a week. You are more important than me. Your life comes before mine. End of story.”
I start to tell him that he’s wrong, but he presses his fingers to my lips, silencing my words.
“End of story, baby. Now get some rest. We still have a long drive. We’ll numb your arm as soon as we get there so you won’t feel the stitches at all.”
“How did you know where I was?” I ask, ignoring the fact that he wants me to rest. I’m exhausted and barely keeping my eyes open, but I want answers more than I want sleep.
As if sensing that I’m not going to let this go, he sighs and starts to stroke my hair as he tells me everything. He explains how Niki found out who my dad was and about the conversation he had with his dad and uncles, about the way my family is so deeply intertwined with his. My dad and uncle caused his family so much pain, and I’m not sure how I’m ever going to face any of them again.
“How can they stand to look at me?” I whisper against his neck.
“You are not your father and uncle, kisa . You are not responsible for what they did, and my family would never blame you for their actions. Look at me, baby.”
He waits until I sit up enough to see him. We’re on the outskirts of the city now, and the streetlights give off enough light for us to see each other. His green eyes search mine, willing me to believe him.
“I love you, and I will never see you as a Lebedev. My dad and uncles broke away from their real families because they were shit, and they started their own. They didn’t allow themselves to be defined by their parents, and neither will you. You will rise above this, Lara, because you’re brave and strong and a thousand fucking times better than that bastard.”
He gives me a soft smile and kisses me gently. “Besides, baby, you’ll be Lara Melnikov soon enough.”
I kiss him back, clinging to his words and refusing to slip into the darkness again. Luka’s right. I’m not my dad, and he doesn’t get to define me.
“It’s not all bad,” he reminds me, pulling back from our kiss to look towards Val. “You have cousins and an aunt and uncle.”
Val looks back and grins at me. “Hey, cuz.” He gives a soft laugh and holds up his phone. “I’ve already texted Sveta about it, and she’s thrilled to have another female cousin. She also sent me this.” He holds the phone closer, letting me see the picture of Pip. His cute little head is buried in a bowl of food, and he’s obviously being spoiled rotten. “ She also said that as your cousin she wants first dibs if you ever need a cat sitter.”
I’m so touched by how damn sweet they’re being that the laugh I give almost turns into a sob. I can’t even begin to imagine what their mom went through growing up the sister of Osip and Konstantin. She must’ve been terrified all the time, and that’s nothing compared to what Alina went through. Luka’s aunt was stolen and abused for two years, and it nearly destroyed his family, and even though I wasn’t even born yet, human nature would make it very easy for his entire family to hate me based solely on the fact that his corrupted blood runs in my damn veins. None of them are like that, though, and in a way it almost makes me feel guilty, like I should be taking the brunt of their anger, like I deserve it somehow because of my connection to all this, and I have to keep reminding myself that that line of thinking is bullshit.
Luka senses a change in me as my mind tries to drag me down to a place I don’t want to go, because he holds me tighter and kisses my forehead.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispers. “I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never feel an ounce of guilt because of what he and your uncle did. It’s not on you, kisa , and I will never allow you to carry that burden.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and sink into his hold. Closing my eyes, I rest against him while Max drives us the rest of the way. I’m trying to save what little strength I have for what’s about to happen. I’m not looking forward to getting stitches, and I’m really not looking forward to the conversation we’re all about to have with my mom. I can only hope that she’s in a better frame of mind when I see her and that she doesn’t try to hurt anyone else. She’s about to be faced with a reality that she’s been actively denying for twenty years. I hope to god it’s not the final straw that breaks her mind and sends her tumbling into an abyss that not even I can bring her out of.