Chapter 12 #3
“Never going to happen,” he says, and I wish everything could pause right here, because it’s perfect, and perfect isn’t something that happens a lot in life.
I’d like a while to savor it, but a few seconds later, Sav is getting up, and when I join her, she gives me a quick hug and whispers how happy she is for me.
I’m learning that Sasha isn’t affectionate with anyone but me, so he gives her a nod instead of a big hug, and after she’s gone, he pulls me into his lap.
Brushing back my hair, he kisses my neck, reminding me of how badly I still want him.
Memories of his tattooed dick float through my head, and when I feel the wet heat of his tongue, I let out a soft moan and rock my hips, feeling him grow hard beneath me.
“Don’t tempt me, krovinka. I’m barely holding on as is.” He growls the words against my neck before giving me a soft bite. “Let’s go home.”
Even though I’ve been officially living with him for less than a day, the word home feels right, and when I grin and nod, he lets out a deep, masculine groan of approval before lifting me off him.
As soon as he’s standing, his arm is back around me, pulling me in close to him again.
My body craves the heat of his, so I wrap an arm around him, noticing the way the bulge of his knife is no longer a source of worry but one of safety.
Sasha’s eyes scan the small restaurant, noticing every detail, and when he deems it safe, he leads me outside and back to his bike.
The ride home isn’t a long one, but by the time he’s pulling into the garage, I know my race against the clock with my period has ended. Cursing my uterus to hell and back, I scoot off his massive bike and rest a hand on my lower stomach.
“Can you hurry up and do the eye scan thing?” I ask, grateful that I at least wore a panty liner just in case this exact thing happened.
Pulling his helmet off, he runs a hand through the dark, silky strands of his hair while he eyes the way I’m holding myself.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to get inside fast,” I say, and when I feel another cramp and the resulting gush of blood, I cringe and refuse to meet his eyes, knowing I’m going to be making an embarrassing mess in about two seconds.
“Cyn,” he says, stepping closer and hooking a finger under my chin. When he tilts my face, I’m taken aback by the raw hunger I see in his eyes. “Are you bleeding for me, krovinka?”
Jesus, how does he make that sound so hot?
When I don’t answer, he leans in. “Hmm?” he murmurs, letting his nose drag along my cheek. “Is that pretty pussy of yours covered in blood right now?”
“Yes,” I whisper while his breath hitches at hearing my answer. “You like that?” I ask, even though his reaction is screaming that he does.
“God yes,” he groans, threading his fingers in my hair and fisting it so he can jerk my head back even more, exposing my throat to him.
With his lips ghosting along my skin he says, “It’s all I can think about.
This is how I want our first time, Cyn. Will you let me slide into you like this?
Will you let me fuck you while you bleed all over my cock? ”
I think about what he’s asking, but it’s hard to think about anything when he’s softly biting and sucking on my neck and his very large erection is digging into my stomach.
“Will it hurt worse?” I ask. I already know sex with Sasha is going to hurt, but with cramps eating me up from the inside, I can’t imagine adding a giant cock to the mix.
I swear I feel him smile right before he nips at the crook of my neck. “Yes, krovinka, it’s going to hurt, but I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
“And if I don’t?” I can’t help but ask.
His husky laugh sends a shiver down my spine.
“Then I’m not doing my job right.” Pulling back, he cups my face and meets my eyes.
“You’ve seen me when I lose control, Cyn, but that’s not how I am with you.
That’s not how I will ever be with you. Do I want to bend you over and slam into you hard enough to make you scream and then fuck you until you can’t walk?
” His eyes darken at his words and the images that are playing out in his head.
“You bet your gorgeous ass I do. Will I?” He raises a brow and the corner of his mouth lifts up. “Not for our first time, I won’t.”
He runs his thumb over my lips, pressing in hard enough to part them and slide into the wet heat of my mouth. When I latch onto him, he groans and steps in closer, forcing me to take a step back or lose my balance. We keep walking until my back is pressed against the door to the house.
“We’re going to do things together that you can’t even imagine, krovinka. You’ve opened my eyes to many things, and now that they’re opened, I can’t stop picturing all the ways I want to take you, all the ways I want to possess you. And it starts tonight. It starts right now.”
With his intense blue eyes on mine, he grabs both my wrists in one hand and then pins them above my head while his other hand goes to the button of my jeans.
“Sasha,” I say, starting to freak out about the idea of what we’re actually about to do. Embarrassment has me cringing while I say, “I was serious about my period starting, and they’re usually really heavy. It’s probably more than you’re imagining.”
“Fuck, I hope so,” he groans, unzipping my pants, and when he starts to slip his hands into my panties, I struggle against the grip he has on me.
The smirk he gives me shouldn’t turn me on to the point of bursting, but it does.
“What if you’re disgusted by it?” I ask. “What if you think it’s gross?”
Instead of being horrified, he has the gall to laugh, but then his face turns serious as he leans in and nips at my bottom lip.
“Ah, my sweet girl, you still have no idea how much blood turns me on.” His fingers start to slip further under my panties as his breathing grows deeper, like he’s forcing himself to calm down.
“And the thought of your blood,” he says with another deep groan.
“Fucking hell, krovinka, you’re about to make me come in my pants again. ”
My panties are soaked by the time he drags his fingers through the short curls that cover me, and I know it’s not all from blood.
I’m just as aroused as I was in the tub, possibly more so, and when his thick finger runs over my clit, I close my eyes and moan his name.
It feels wrong, like I’ve been programmed to think that periods are gross and any contact with the vagina should be avoided during this time unless it’s to change a tampon, but when he keeps sliding his finger over my slippery folds, every part of me is screaming that this is only taboo because it’s what I’ve been taught to believe.
The truth is it’s erotic as hell, and when he growls my name and slides a finger into me, it feels amazing, the sensations only heightened by the taboo nature surrounding it.
“Jesus fuck, Cyn,” he groans, pumping his finger into me as he adds another, spreading me wide, letting me freely bleed all over his hand as he brings me to the edge. “Nothing feels as good as your bloody pussy gripping my fingers.”
His other hand keeps my wrists pinned above my head as he works his fingers harder.
Every long stroke has him hitting my clit, and when my knees start to buckle, his fingers tighten on my wrists, making it clear he won’t let me fall.
The wet sounds we’re making seem to echo through the garage, and it’s vulgar in a way that has me shamelessly rocking my hips, desperate for more of what he’s giving me.
My breaths come fast and hard as I barrel towards the orgasm that’s right out of reach.
“Look at me.”
The command is hard, not allowing for anything but prompt obedience, and when I open my eyes, the feral look in his is enough to tip me over the edge.
I scream his name as ecstasy washes over me, making everything else fade away until the only thing left is my pleasure and the feel of his thick fingers claiming me in a way that will make it impossible for me to ever want anyone but him.
He watches me through my climax, never taking his eyes off me as I writhe beneath his touch and then shiver and try to still his hand with my thighs when I grow too sensitive.
He raises his brow, giving me an amused smile at my attempt to stop him.
Keeping himself buried inside me, he waits as I feel another gush of warmth leave my body.
I’m too spent to care about the mess I’ve made, and he doesn’t look anything but feral to fuck me, so I’m guessing he doesn’t care about it either.
With his eyes still on mine, he slowly pulls his hand free, and when he brings his glistening, bloody fingers between us, he wiggles them and lets out the sexiest groan I’ve ever heard.
Turning his gaze to his hand, he stares, mesmerized by the sight of my blood coating him.
He turns his hand, studying it from all angles, and then he puts his light-blue eyes back on mine and runs his tongue up one of his long fingers.
I watch him slowly lick my blood from his skin, knocked on my ass by how erotic he’s making it look.
If someone had asked me two hours ago if I was into period sex, I would’ve said no way in hell.
Now I’m thinking I’ll be counting down the days to my periods instead of dreading them, because holy hell this is hot.
He slowly sucks his last finger clean, and then he fists my shirt and pulls me closer so I’m flush against his body. His erection is a dominating presence, a force that demands to be seen and is impossible to ignore, and I’m both excited and terrified at the idea of all this being inside me.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” His words sound strained as he dips his head so our faces are closer.
“You don’t have the faintest idea of the power you have over me.
” His thumb caresses the wrists he’s still pinning to the wall as he trails a line of soft kisses down my face.
“You own me, my little Cyn, every single part of me. You and I are one. You are in me, inside my heart and my mind. You’ve burrowed into my veins, claiming every fucking inch of me. ”
His words make my eyes sting as a lump forms in my throat. Soft lips caress my cheek before his voice is in my ear, heated breath tickling my skin.
“I never thought I was capable of love, Cyn, but then I saw you. I can’t explain it, but I knew you were mine the second our eyes met, knew I’d never be able to let you go, knew that I would keep you no matter what because the thought of walking away, of never seeing you again was more than I could ever be capable of.
You are mine, krovinka, just as I am yours.
You deserve more than the monster that I am, and I’m sorry for that.
I’m sorry this is all I have to offer you. ”
His words slice through me, breaking me in the way that only real love can, in the way that expands the heart instead of constricting it.
It’s not stifling, it’s freeing, and I never want to be anywhere that doesn’t include him.
He’s not a monster to me. He’s Sasha, the man I’ve fallen in love with, the man who will always have two sides to him, but I don’t care, because as crazy as it sounds, I love them both.
When I fight his grip, he immediately lets me go so I can bring my hands down and touch him.
I run my fingers through his silky hair and then down the side of his face, feeling the hint of dark stubble that’s starting to grow in.
He doesn’t try to stop me, even though I’m taking my time and I know he’s aching to carry me upstairs to bed.
He waits, watching me while I run my eyes over the beautiful lines of his face.
“I see you, Sasha Melnikov, and you’re not a monster to me.” He looks like he wants to argue, so I pull him closer and press my finger to his lips. “I see every part of you, and I love every part that I see.”
He closes his eyes and lets out a breath as he brings his forehead to mine. “I will never be worthy of you, Cyn, but you have me all the same. Whatever love I’m capable of belongs to you. Whatever heart I have is yours.”
Having held out as long as he can, he lifts me up so my chest is pressed to his. With one arm securely under my ass, he leans over so he can scan his eye, and as soon as the lock clicks, he opens the door and carries me into our home.
Before he sets me down so I can pet a very eager Chort, he nips at my earlobe and says, “I need to feed him and give him some attention. Otherwise, his feelings will be hurt, and I don’t want to hear him pouting while I’m sliding into you.”
His tongue runs up my neck before he adds, “But as soon as I’m done, I’m coming for you, krovinka, and I’m not stopping until your voice is hoarse from screaming my name and we’re both covered in your blood.”